Amnesia
by Gemgirl65
Summary: What if Edward Cullen weren't a 109-year-old-vampire...what if he were 'born' yesterday? When Bella Swan's truck breaks down in the forest one rainy afternoon, a fateful meeting between the two will alter the course of both of their lives forever. AU, OOC
1. Storm

_**A note about this story: I used some of Stephenie Meyer's vampire "rules," but also incorporated ideas from other vampire genres and made up a few of my own as well. I tried to keep the characters' personalities fairly true to canon, though I have changed some minor details. Pairings are also canon. Story contains some swearing and violence, and explicit love scenes in later chapters. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters...I just brought 'em out to play with for awhile.**_

_**Bella**_

Big Red chose the middle of a downpour as the inopportune time to give up the ghost.

And the thick of the Olympia Forest was, naturally, the place my ancient Chevy decided to wheeze and groan to a stop. I did manage to pull the rusted behemoth of a truck Charlie had given me over to the side of the road before it gasped its last breath, sputtering to a noisy halt as I uselessly applied the brakes to stop it. I set the parking brake in case it had half a mind to roll down the muddy embankment and into the dense thicket of evergreens yards from the county road. With a resigned sigh, I pulled out my cell phone and speed-dialed my father's number at the police station before I realized that I was getting no signal in the thick of the forest. Great. What a perfect time to have to get out and walk to an area with a mobile signal.

I pulled the hood of my utilitarian jacket over my head and trudged out into the rain. The ominous clouds had prematurely darkened the dusk, and occasional shards of lightning split the sky with the promise of more inclement weather to come. I walked north along the road toward my father's house, though I was still miles from home, occasionally pulling out the phone to check for telltale service signal bars. Still nothing. Knowing my luck, the lightning had probably temporarily knocked out one of the cell phone towers.

Why hadn't I accepted a ride home from work with Mike Newton when I had the chance? The truck had been acting up the past couple of days, starting only when it pleased. Charlie had made an appointment at the shop for Friday, so apparently Big Red sensed it was headed to the "hospital" and balked in protest the day before. I knew damned well why I hadn't taken Mike up on his offer, though. He would have taken my acceptance of the gesture as a sign that I was suddenly interested in the overtures he'd been making since I'd moved to the small burg of Forks, Washington a month before. It's not that I didn't like Mike. He was pleasant and seemed harmless enough. He tried very hard to make me laugh, which wasn't such a bad thing, since I was the new kid in school. But perhaps the fact that he tried so hard is what had me cringing in response to his enthusiasm.

I wasn't used to being the center of attention. In Phoenix, I had been one in a sea of girls slightly prettier, smarter, funnier or more talented than I was. I was distinguished primarily by my pale, un-tannable complexion and refusal to wear any shoes other than sneakers or flip-flops. I loved the sun even if it didn't love me. I missed the warmth, and I thought of the old stucco house that I'd shared with mom as I slogged through the steady rain, vainly hoping another car would pass so I could flag the driver down for assistance. Renee Swan was the opposite of me: a free, child-like spirit who found joy in mundane things, and maintained her youthful, if sometimes immature, attitude toward life regardless of how the years ticked by. "Bella," I could hear her saying in my head, "Forget living in Forks! That infernal, constant rain is one of the main reasons I left, never mind catering to that lovely-but, you've gotta admit-stodgy father of yours. You'll love Jacksonville, baby! It's sunny all the time, and Phil is really moving up in the minors, he's doing so well! Come live with us, it'll be great!"

Great…except for being the third wheel. I had nothing against my mom's new husband. He was a nice guy, and made mom feel young again, which seemed to be her main goal in life. Something had been telling me to go live with my dad Charlie for awhile, even while a big part of me resisted the move with every fiber of my being. And now, caught in yet another Washington-style deluge, I was beginning to question that errant part of my psyche that brought me to this soggy, godforsaken jungle.

Lost in my memories of sunnier climes and times, I didn't notice the form crouched low on the side of the road. The sky had been darkening, and a tinge of worry had begun to seep into me along with the cold rain. Surely Charlie would be wondering where I was by now. The sporting goods store where I worked had closed almost an hour ago, and the shortcut through the woods sliced a good ten minutes off the drive. I should have been home, cooking him dinner, half an hour ago.

I pulled my cell out of my pocket and peered at its glowing face in the dark. Suddenly, I hit something-a large stone?-with my shin, and lost my balance, toppling forward. Grace had never been my strong suit, and I thrust my arms out to catch myself as I went down. I was shocked to feel, rather than see, a pair of hands catch my arms as my knees buckled and slammed against something hard. I slid down into the mud on my shins as steely hands continued to grip me, and found myself face-to-face with a rain-soaked man.

A muffled scream of surprise escaped my mouth, and my frantic eyes sought his in the dark. Staring back at me were the blackest eyes I'd ever seen, wide and slightly wild, with long lashes framing them. A sudden flash of lightning illuminated the stranger's countenance, and his features jolted me harder than the clap of thunder that followed. Rain dripped down the loose curls of his dark reddish hair, gathering in thick, arched eyebrows and running down cheeks of sculpted stone. His skin was almost shockingly white, even paler than mine, and his clenched jaw jutted out like a buttress from the ivory column of his neck. Rain glistened off of his pink lips, and I found myself licking my own just looking at them. He looked like one of the Greek statues in my Ancient Art History textbook at school. He could only be described as achingly beautiful.

And then he spoke.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. His words and expression were harsh, but his voice sounded like angels singing. I was beginning to think I was dreaming. I felt as if I were drifting into some sort of trance, gazing at this stranger's face. He shook me slightly, brows knitted, as if to snap me out of it. Somewhere behind my brain fog, I realized I was behaving like an idiot.

I blinked hard a couple of times to clear my head, and finally replied, "My car broke down about a half-mile back. I was trying to get a signal on my cell phone." He said nothing, just continued to penetrate my soul with those enormous eyes. As I stared back at him, the bizarre reality of the situation finally struck me. "What are _you_ doing here, sitting on the side of the road in the rain? Are you hurt? Do you need me to call an ambulance when I get my phone working?"

He regarded me with an odd look for a moment, and then quite suddenly, he burst into laughter. I would have laughed with him, except it was a slightly maniacal laugh, tinged with hysteria and…desperation? Bewildered, I leaned away from him, suddenly wondering about the man's sanity. I wracked my brain to try to remember if there were any mental health facilities near Forks, because this guy might very well be an escapee.

He removed his steel grip from my arms and rubbed his hands over his face and up through his hair, sending droplets of rain flying and making cowlicks stand up in disarray all over the top of his head. "I'm sorry," he finally gasped, his laughter fading. "I'm not hurt, trust me. It's fine, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Just go on and get help." He motioned north up the road in the direction I had been walking, then slumped his shoulders and stared down at my knees, which were touching his.

I tried to make sense of what he was saying, and wondered what the hell was going on. He shook his head and grinned a crooked grin, which another burst of lightning rendered dazzling under its brief glow. I again felt myself drifting, gazing at his face in wonder. Who was this boy, and what was he doing here alone in the dark? I should have been afraid, but I wasn't. There was something so defeated in his posture, so downright tragic in his somberly elegant features and lean build. As I stared shamelessly, I realized that though the sharp planes of his face were all man, his soft skin and rosy lips belied his true age. He couldn't have been much older than I was. And he was soaking wet, all alone, on a county road in the rain, with no car in sight.

"Where is your car? How did you get here?" I tried again.

He smiled wanly and shook his head again. He wasn't going to answer. His eyes, from which I couldn't seem to tear my own away, were pained.

"Listen, just stay here," I instructed. "I'm sure another car will come soon, or I'll pick up a cell signal in a minute. Don't move, I'm going to get help for both of us." I tried to rise to my feet but my Converse sneaker slid in the mud as if it were WD-40, and I awkwardly lurched forward again, falling right against the boy's chest. He caught me up in his arms, murmuring "Careful," into my ear. The velvety sound of it sent a shockwave straight down my spine, and my eyes locked with his, mere inches away. His breath was cool on my face, and incredibly, it smelled spicy sweet, as if he'd just eaten warm apple pie. The scent of him cut through the rain and bathed me in its irresistible fragrance. What boy smelled like this?

My new best friend, the lightning, again revealed his face to me in vivid detail. His eyes seemed to register a dozen different emotions alternately as he bored holes into me with his gaze. His breathing grew ragged and he gripped me closer to him. I wondered wildly if he were going to kiss me, and what would I do if he did? Shouldn't I be running away, screaming, from this stranger, this crazy situation?

His eyes were like an animal's, chaotic and fierce. And then, suddenly, they were pleading…almost apologetic. "Please help me," he whispered, his voice barely audible above the relentless rain and thunder. "Help me." He looked…terrified.

I began nodding numbly, the cold and wet and his raw need getting to me. "I'll go right now," I replied shakily. But before I could try to rise again, he gripped me tighter, closing his eyes as if in pain and breathing deeply. He appeared as if he were in some sort of internal struggle and he clung to me, grasping my coat in his long fingers. Then his eyes flew open and a thrill of fear ran through me at the depthless, inky blackness of his expression. He didn't look human.

That's when I felt it. It happened so quickly, I didn't see it coming. I couldn't see anything but the night sky and the rain stinging my eyes. His lips were on my neck, my head bent back, his hand tangled in my hair and clutching it wildly. Part of me wanted to scream, but only a strangled cry escaped before I felt the warmth trickling down my neck. I tried to comprehend what was happening, while visions of scary movies past played like a vaudeville show in my mind. I felt a dull ache, no pain, as it slowly registered that his teeth were somehow, impossibly, sunk deep into my neck, right to the jugular, his tongue and lips working like silken leeches against my skin.

He was drinking my blood.

I wanted to laugh, the same demented laugh that my attacker had emitted moments ago. This couldn't be real. It was some ridiculous nightmare, and I would wake up any moment now.

He moaned loudly into my neck and the vibration shook me to the core, tingling down my stiffened spine. His hands gently massaged my scalp and my back while he held me in a vice-like grip, as if he were somehow trying to lessen the horror of what he was doing to me. My vision began to blur and weakness began to make my limbs heavy and useless. I desperately gathered my waning strength and twisted against him as the realization hit me that this was real. He was a…I couldn't bring my brain to conjure up the word. But whatever he was, he was killing me.

I felt my heart rate slow, and a loud pounding filled my ears. The pounding of my dying heart. A second, steady drumming soon joined it…a thrumming vibration in harmony with mine. His heart? It felt as if it were so. Two hearts, beating together in a terrible, slow death march. It was at once terrifying and erotic. I had never felt so close to another being in my life.

"Beautiful," he murmured into my neck, his cool lips resting a moment against my skin. He groaned softly, in a tone that would have been the most sensual sound in the world under any other circumstance. His eyes were closed, long wet lashes grazing his cheeks, and an intense peace seemed to have settled over him. A strange stillness had overcome me as well. My breathing was so shallow that I couldn't muster the strength to tell him to stop, or to wrench myself free from his velvet death-grip. And as I gazed at the work of art that constituted his face, a delirious part of me didn't want to. The throbbing of our hearts continued their slow, sensuous rhythm, and I didn't want it to end. At that moment, time could have stopped and I would have died happy.

Except that I didn't want to die.

A final stab of fear woke me to the fact that death was, indeed coming, and I inhaled deeply in a choking gasp, a sickening gurgling noise coming from my ravaged throat. The boy blinked at the sound, as if waking from the same trance I had, and looked down at me with warm, soft gray eyes. It was as if the storm clouds had lifted, leaving a clear blue sky in their wake.

His expression soon changed from calm to agitation as he gazed down at me…as if he just realized what he had done. Even as his features blurred in my fading eyesight, I saw an unmistakable look of guilt and horror seize his face as he viewed his handiwork.

"No," I heard him whisper in a ragged baritone, his hands stroking my hair and smoothing it off of my face. "No!" He knelt over and I whimpered pitifully as his lips grazed my cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered, over and over. "Please forgive me."

Unable to reply or to move, I simply stared into his beautiful eyes, uncomprehending. A bright light slashed over us…more lightning?…and his haunted expression was the last thing I saw before the dark night enveloped me.


	2. Awakening

_**Edward**_

_Edward Anthony Masen._

I glared at the name on the I.D. card in my hand as if staring holes through it would somehow make it mean something to me. The picture next to the name was clearly me, or at least I thought it was. I had no mirror nearby to check and be sure. And even if I had, I'm not sure I would have recognized the face. I sure as hell didn't recognize where I was, nor have any idea how I got there. I had awakened flat on my back next to the thick, gnarled trunk of an ancient Sequoia in the middle of the woods. Something told me that I was very, very far from home.

Home. Apparently that was someplace named Burlington. There was no state printed on the student I.D. I'd found in my shirt pocket, only the words "Burlington Community High School," and the year 2009-2010. Well, at least I knew what year it was, that was something. And I was a high school student somewhere. That should mean that I had friends and a family out there. People who would be looking for me. But I couldn't for the life of me remember who they were.

If only I had a wallet on me. Surely I'd had a driver's license or some other identification at some point, right? Unless someone stole it. My addled brain started to put a few puzzle pieces together. Maybe I'd been hiking and was knocked out and robbed. That would explain the strange place in which I woke up, and why my body felt so stiff. And yet I also felt oddly energized, like I could run a marathon and never get tired.

I got up and looked around for a backpack or any other belongings besides the piece of laminated plastic in my hand. Nothing. The thieves had been thorough. I listened for signs of civilization in the distance, but was met with only the chirping of birds and squirrels in the trees. There had to be a highway or a lodge somewhere around here, or how else would I have ended up in this place? I sighed uneasily and started walking in the direction of the sun, though it was sometimes hard to see in the cool shade of the enormous trees forming a green canopy overhead. I tried not to let fear overtake me as I strode purposefully westward. Instead I wracked my brain for details. Faces, names, places. Anything that would tell me who I was and where I came from. But the past felt like a black, empty hole, as if there had been nothing to my existence before this day, in this forest. And if I thought about that long enough, I'd be too freaked out to get myself out of this mess.

I checked my wrist for the time, but there was no watch. It seemed that my mugging theory was a certainty. The sun was getting higher in the sky, and I could feel hunger gnawing deep in the pit of my stomach. The thirst was much worse. My throat became more parched as I hiked through the endless brush. It seemed I was making good time though, moving quickly through the foliage, branches snapping like matchsticks when they met my limbs. I never tired or lost my breath. Adrenaline and anxiety seemed to propel me forward without need for rest.

Hours passed, and the forest never seemed to thin. The terrain became rockier but I pressed on, desperation creeping over me as I still saw no signs of civilization. I would have to find water soon. My throat and mouth felt like a desert, and I would have drunk out of a muddy stream if I had only stumbled upon one. Where the hell was I, anyway? The questions continued to pepper my mind and my anxiety began to build. I wouldn't let hysteria overtake me. There had to be answers, and a way out of this miserable goddamned forest.

That's when I saw it up ahead, nestled in the trees: a small hunting cabin. I breathed a sigh of relief as I approached, hoping that someone was there, and that food was inside. It appeared to be an elaborate deer stand, with small windows and a weather-stained oak door. As I got closer, I noticed a padlock hanging from its rusted iron latch, and I sighed in frustration at the sight. Absently I yanked on the lock in the vain hope that it might magically open. Surprisingly, it snapped right off with a loud crunch. I looked down in amazement at the twisted scrap of metal in my hand. It must have been rusted clear through to give way so easily.

The door groaned in protest as it swung open, alerting me to the fact that this place had been abandoned for awhile. I quickly cased the joint, taking in a small cot and blanket, a gun cabinet, a wooden chair and a few small cupboards. Thank God. In seconds I had all the cupboard doors open, feverishly searching for something to eat or drink. Bingo! Several jugs of bottled water and a few cans of beans and soup greeted me. I grabbed a water bottle and hastily yanked it open, swallowing half its contents in a few greedy gulps. It felt cool and wet, but the burn in my throat was still severe. Apparently it was going to take me awhile to get hydrated again.

My stomach gurgled strangely, and I figured I'd better find a can-opener so I could eat something. I combed through the meager shelves and came up empty. _Who the hell has canned food in a place with no can opener? _I thought to myself in frustration. _A hunter who carries a fancy Swiss army knife on him, that's who,_ I answered my own question. The gun cabinet came up empty as well.

"Damn it!" I exploded into the silence, and the sound of my voice startled me. It sounded strangely lyrical. Musical, almost. Then again, since I had no recollection of how my voice was supposed to sound, I shouldn't have been surprised. I could have sounded like the freakin' New York Philharmonic for all I knew.

I grabbed a can of pork and beans out of the cabinet and angrily whacked it on the edge of the counter. To my utter amazement, the wood countertop cracked and splintered straight down the middle as if I'd karate-chopped it in two. Geezus, this place must be rotted clear through from the weather, I mused.

My stomach growled again and I turned my attention back to the can of beans in my hand. There was a large dent in the side of the can where it had shattered the countertop, but that's not what made my jaw drop in disbelief. The top of the can had a giant hole gouged through it…by my thumb.

It took me a moment to register the impossibility of it, but there it was. My thumb, clearly puncturing the metal and stuck in the bean slop within. I gingerly pulled my thumb back out, expecting to see all manner of blood and gore from the accident. But my perfectly unharmed digit slid right out, with nary a scratch from the jagged tin lid.

I stared, dumbstruck. First the lock, then the cabinet, now this? Experimentally, I grabbed the half-shorn lid of the can and tried peeling it back. It came off the can as easily as if it were a daisy petal I'd pulled off of a flower. I imagined that the shock on my face must be fucking hilarious. Because this, right here, was a physical impossibility. What, did I wake up in the woods as Superman this morning? Was this some kind of twisted dream? I sure as hell hoped so, because I was ready to wake up any time.

I bent the lid between my fingers and it folded in half like a piece of paper. Incredible. I began to wonder what, exactly, my current physical limitations were, since it seemed I had been imbued with superhuman strength since waking in the wilderness. I scraped the spiky edge of the lid against my other arm and waited for the scratch to appear. The redness never showed. I repeated the motion, pressing harder. Still no reaction. The third time, I slashed it firmly against my wrist with enough pressure to cut through skin and veins. Instead of breaking the surface, the tin crumpled against my skin like an accordion.

Suddenly the tiny cabin felt like it was stifling me, and I ran outdoors into the fresh air, my breathing quick and ragged. I found a patch of dappled sunlight and stood there, holding my hand close to my face for further scrutiny. To my amazement, my skin shone in the sunlight like alabaster. I had fair skin, but in the sun's bright rays, my hand appeared as if it were polished marble. I quickly pulled off my jacket and pushed up the sleeve of my thermal shirt, rotating my arm back and forth, watching the light dance off my skin in tiny rainbows of color. It was as if a million microscopic diamonds had been embedded there, giving me an unholy glow that was so far from what I was sure was normal human skin that I could only gape in baffled horror.

What…the hell…had happened to me?

I stood panting, panic beginning to set in. I had no idea what to think or what to feel. Again, the need to test myself rose to the surface, and I began to grab at tree branches, amazed as they broke away from their trunks with no effort. I kicked aggressively at a boulder and watched it crumble into pebbles. I put one of the pebbles in my mouth and bit down, feeling it turn to dust, which I spit from my mouth. The tiny shards shot from my lips and embedded themselves like darts into the nearest tree trunk.

My panic rose to a fever pitch, and I opened my mouth to scream. Instead, a high-pitched, hysterical laugh came out…one of those crazy, Jack Nicholson "Shining" or "Cuckoo's Nest" kind of laughs, tinged with madness and desperation. I couldn't remember who I was or where I came from, but I was pretty sure that I'd been a normal guy before. Before what? There were no clues to tell me what had happened to me or how I got this way. All I knew is that I was reincarnated as fucking Superman. And Superman was starving.

A sickening feeling overcame me, my gut growling angrily for food. My mouth still burned and my throat was raw. I stumbled back into the cabin and grabbed the can of beans, tilting my head back and letting them slide down my throat. They were cold and unappetizing, but they filled the emptiness. I washed it down with more water, easily finishing off one bottle and tearing open the next, but no amount of liquid seemed to quench my thirst.

I slumped on the floor and sat with my head in my hands, fingers nervously working through my hair. I tried to calm myself and think rationally. There was no road leading to this cabin, but there had to be one nearby, or at least a trail or some worn tire tracks near this place. If I headed out and traveled in widening circles around the cabin, eventually, I ought to be able to find some signs of life other than birds and animals.

I rose to my feet, and a wave of nausea hit me so hard it nearly knocked me back to the floor. I barely made it a few feet outside the cabin before the bile rose and everything in my stomach came back up. I wretched violently, my body shuddering, and the dryness in my mouth became overwhelming. I instantly felt hungrier and thirstier than ever.

No. This was unacceptable. I had to be able to keep something down. Maybe the beans had been bad. I sprinted back into the cabin and grabbed a can of soup, briefly enjoying the sensation of being able to rip it open with my bare hands before downing the cold contents. There was no time to wash it down with water before my stomach heaved and I raced out the front door, vomiting until I was empty again.

I fought the urge to cry like a baby as I hunched over, arms hugging my empty middle, rocking back and forth in fear. What good was it to have superhuman strength if I was going to die of starvation? Because I knew instinctively that there would be nothing I could ingest that my body would accept. Whatever had turned my skin to living stone had apparently turned my insides as well.

I sat still for a long time, sifting through a million thoughts like Hamlet. I tried to figure out where to go, what to do. If I stayed here, I would perish like that poor misguided fool from "Into The Wild," who withdrew from civilization to the point that he accidentally fucking killed himself by starving to death in the Alaskan tundra. If I sought help, I would be studied like a lab rat by scientists trying to figure out what I had eaten or been shot up with to make me into a modern-day comic book character.

Die alone in self-pity, or die trying to figure out how to save myself? I chose the latter.

I filled my pockets with the pebbles from the rock I'd annihilated and began walking in ever-widening circles from the cabin, leaving the rocks as breadcrumbs. Clouds began to roll in and I smelled rain in the air. The sky darkened as the day waned and a storm moved in. Still I walked as heavy rain drops began to fall. I noticed that my eyes seemed to adjust easily to the dimming light, yet another of my newfound talents. But my throat and mouth grew impossibly parched and my stomach growled in increasing protest the longer I went without food.

Panic was my enemy, and it was beginning to win. So was fatigue. Though part of me was sure I could walk for a hundred years and never tire, my limbs began to feel oddly strained, pulled tight like rubber bands being stretched. The hunger was overtaking everything, and I could no longer think or walk straight. I stumbled along, desperate for any sign of humanity to appear.

That's when I heard the blessed sound of a car in the distance.

I turned hard to the left in the direction of the sound and picked up my pace, though my legs felt like lead. If I could just get to the road and flag down a car, maybe I could save myself. Maybe someone could help me, though I had no idea how.

Gradually the trees thinned and led to a steep embankment. My brittle legs barely carried me up to the top, where I stopped and groaned in relief. Just yards ahead was the soft shoulder of a paved two-lane road snaking through the forest. I nearly cried with joy as I stumbled toward it, beginning to walk along the edge of the road, listening for the next approaching car. The rain had turned the shoulder to mud and my sneakers sank in with each step. I shifted onto the highway and my footsteps made a satisfying sound on the wet pavement.

But my hope began to wane as I trudged on through the storm. No more cars had come, and I felt no closer to rescue than I had when I was in the thick of the forest. The irony of the cool, wet rain hitting my face was not lost on me as I tried to swallow through the desert that was my mouth. Suddenly, my legs buckled and I sank to my knees. I had to rest. I was so hungry I couldn't think about anything but food. And yet I could think of nothing that would assuage the hunger that cut me in two.

I listened hard for the telltale sound of a motor in the distance, letting out an exasperated sigh when I heard nothing but droplets hitting the road. But then my ears detected something different…a sloshing noise, quiet at first, but getting louder. Wet, soggy footsteps. I turned my head and saw a figure in the distance, walking toward me, hooded head bent purposefully forward. A girl. I could tell by her slight build and the vague outline of her hips under her shapeless beige coat. I was filled with a mixture of relief and anxiety. Here was my savior…but what if I scared her? I didn't know what I looked like. I already knew my skin was freakishly sparkly. God only knows how my face appeared.

As she came closer, I deliberated what to do. I wasn't sure I could lift myself on my ruined legs to go greet her. I was afraid to speak and frighten her. I couldn't afford for her to run away. I sat frozen as she came closer, heading right toward me. It was as if she couldn't see my figure crouched there under the darkening sky, though I saw her plainly as if it were noon with my new-and-improved eyesight. I waited for her to notice me, but instead she pulled out her cell phone, turning her head away to look at it, and walked right into me, pitching forward with a soft cry.

I grabbed her arms to stop her fall, careful not to squeeze too hard. I shook my head incredulously and asked her what she thought she was doing. What was a young girl like her doing alone in the rain on a night like this?

Suddenly a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky, illuminating her face in a halo of white light. She was pretty in a natural way, with a heart-shaped face and a faint smattering of freckles across her pale, poreless skin. Her clear liquid-green eyes met mine, widening in some emotion I couldn't place, and her pink lips took in a sharp breath. I blanched, wondering what my face looked like to her in that instant. She gazed at me as if in a fog, and I shook her shoulders slightly, wondering if I was so hideous that she couldn't pry her eyes away.

She blinked a couple of times and began telling me that her truck had broken down further back, and she was trying to get a signal on her cell phone. Her breath tickled my nose as she spoke, and the scent was intoxicating. Her smell began to permeate the air around us, right through the rain, and my gnawing stomach growled in response. She smelled like lilacs and freesia and something I couldn't define. She smelled…delicious. My parched mouth began to water strangely.

I must have looked like a complete wreck, because she asked me if I was okay. She thought I might be hurt, and did I need an ambulance? Before I could stop it, that goddamned hyena laugh burst out of my mouth, mirthless and hysterical. She looked at me warily like the nut job I was. I wanted to tell her that I could break trees in half with my bare hands, and that the chances of me ever getting physically hurt again were about a billion to one. And yet with all my macho-man abilities, I was so wracked with hunger and thirst that I could only shake my head and tell her to go on and find help without me. I half-hoped that she would come back for me, and half-hoped she'd run away and never look back. This sweet, innocent girl couldn't help me. No one could.

She tried to get up but slipped in the mud and fell against me. I caught her in my arms and held her there, her face mere inches away. Lightning crackled through the sky and lit the green pools of her eyes on fire. Her breath came out in quick gasps, and the heady scent overwhelmed me again. Strange sensations trembled through my body as the desperate hunger and thirst filled every fiber of my being. I could hear her heart beating fast, and the pounding of it seemed to get louder and louder in my head, like a sledge hammer dully knocking conscious thought out of me. Something terrible was happening, and I felt every ounce of self-control being stripped away with each breath I took of her tantalizing scent.

My conscience made a last stab at regaining control. "Please help me," I begged her, searching her beautiful eyes for the answer. "Help me."

But there was no help to be had. She tried to get up but the prison of my arms refused to release her. I clutched her closer to me, eyes squeezing shut as I lost the internal struggle and the fiery need won. Her heart pounding in my brain and her scent filling my lungs, I pulled her to me and sank my hungry mouth into the warm, wet pulse of her neck.

She struggled feebly but was no match for my iron limbs. I held her as gently as I could, caressing her, as her warm blood washed down my throat. All thought was obliterated by the thrilling sensation of my unbearable thirst finally being quenched. This was what my body had been desperately craving, and relief so sweet filled me that I groaned in ecstasy as I drank the heady liquid deep inside. For the first time today, I noticed my own heart beating, joining the rhythm of hers in a slow, sensual dance. I couldn't remember if I'd ever had sex, but if I had, it couldn't have been better than this. Every fiber and nerve in my body stood erect and alive, filled with the smell, the warmth, the taste of this perfect girl.

"Beautiful," I murmured into the soft skin of her neck, my lips silently singing the praises of this angel of mercy come to save me. I wanted to hold her close like this for eternity, our hearts beating together in perfect time, like some sappy old-time movie where the hero and the damsel live happily ever after.

But I was no hero, and this was no fairytale. An ugly gurgling noise came from the sweet mouth of my damsel, and it was most certainly a sound of distress. My brows furrowed as I pulled away, dazed, to look at her. Several nasty gashes in the shape of my teeth spewed a river of deep red blood from the side of her neck. For a sickening moment, I was overwhelmed by the desire to lap the blood up and drain her dry. Then the horror of what I had done seized me and I cried out "No!" in despair. I rocked her gently, kissing her pallid cheek, begging for forgiveness that I could never earn nor deserve. I didn't want her to die, not at my hands, and certainly not so I could live. Because the hideous truth of what I had become hit me full-force in that moment. I was a predator, a parasite, a monster of the worst kind. The impossible word branded its name into my brain like a sick joke.

Vampire.

The girl's eyes closed and a loud sob escaped my lips. I was so lost in my anguish that I didn't hear the sound of the car approaching. Its headlights cut through the night and momentarily caught us both in the harsh glare as I clutched her body to me. The unmistakable red and blue lights swirled atop the vehicle as it slowed to a halt several feet away. Thank God, help had finally arrived. For her, anyway. There was no help for me.

As I heard the car door open, I stared at my angel's face and memorized its every line and curve. I gently kissed her cheek and swept my hand over her damp hair as I lowered her to the earth. By the time the cop rushed to her side, I was gone.


	3. Recovery

_Bella_

"Dad, I can't eat green Jell-o."

I poked at the quivering lump on my divided plate with a fork, making a face. The banana slices congealed in the top of the gelatin seemed to blink balefully at me in response like round, yellowed eyes. I gave Charlie a pleading look, already knowing what his reply would be.

"Come on, Bells, you heard what Dr. Cullen said. They aren't going to let you out of here until you've proven you can eat solid food again," he said. "Just close your eyes and pretend it's cherry. You can do that, can't you, honey?" he asked with cautious optimism.

"All right," I conceded, picking out the banana slices with my fork. I made quick work of the gelatin, swallowing as quickly as I could, and at least it went down easily. The bananas were a little trickier, since I had to actually chew them and taste the lime Jell-o still stuck to them before I could choke them down. My throat felt a lot better today, at least. It didn't hurt so much to chew and swallow anymore. Of course, the hospital cafeteria had been delivering me a steady diet of soup, applesauce, pudding and other bland stuff resembling baby food since trying to wean me off of my IV yesterday. It wasn't like I'd been asked to handle steak and corn on the cob.

As if he'd heard his name spoken, Dr. Carlisle Cullen swept confidently through the door of my room, flashing me his movie-star smile. "Good afternoon, Bella. How's my brave patient today?"

I shrugged and gave a small smile in return. "Better, I think. My throat doesn't feel so sore today." Technically, that was true. My throat wasn't really the problem. It was the numerous stitches and bandages covering my aching neck that were keeping me hospitalized.

"Good, good," the doctor replied, checking the chart and monitors next to my bed. He proceeded to take my blood pressure again even though the nurse had done it less than an hour before.

"How's she doing, doc?" Charlie asked anxiously. Like me, my father tended to hide his emotions behind a controlled exterior, but the concern in his eyes the past few days had been easy to see.

"Her vitals look excellent, and her blood and lipid panel is improving. I think that as long as she can take food and do without the intravenous drip today, we may be able to release her tomorrow," he beamed at Charlie. Though I was happy at the news, I couldn't help but scowl slightly at the fact that Dr. Cullen was talking to my dad as if I weren't in the room.

"That's good news, Dr. Cullen," Charlie said, clearly relieved. "Did you hear that, Bells? You're about to be sprung from the big house," he grinned. I groaned a little at that particular analogy coming from the Forks Chief of Police. "Your mom is going to be thrilled. You know she's dying to take care of you herself 24-7 instead of watching everybody else do it."

I gave a short laugh. Mom had flown in from Florida immediately after hearing about my attack, and she had only left my bedside when banned by the county hospital staff so they could do their jobs. Dad had come to relieve her during his lunch hour every day, but other than that, she had stayed with me every minute, only leaving to get a few hours' sleep at Dad's house each night. I could hear their hushed, worried discussions about me in between pain med-induced bouts of unconsciousness. I gathered that I had lost a very large amount of blood and had undergone two transfusions before the doctors could stabilize me. They managed to successfully repair my carotid artery, and had even brought in a plastic surgeon to complete the stitches on my neck. The surgeon assured me I would have a minimal amount of scarring, though she might need to perform a second procedure to give me the best results. Apparently I'd been very lucky that my larynx and trachea had been left intact and my speech and breathing weren't affected.

The police found few clues at the scene to let them know what kind of creature had attacked me 4 nights ago. The rain had washed away any animal tracks, and the human footprints they discovered near the area had also lost any details revealing the type of shoes the person had worn. Besides, a human couldn't, or wouldn't, have bitten my neck and left such sharp, jagged wounds. Dr. Cullen guessed that a wolf had been the culprit.

I had tried in vain to recall just one helpful detail about that night, but all I remembered was getting out of broken-down Big Red to try to get my phone to work, and then waking up in the hospital with a throbbing, burning pain all the way from my ear to my collarbone. Dr. Cullen told me it was normal to forget intense trauma like that, especially after losing oxygen to the brain. He said it was probably a blessing that I couldn't remember what happened. Charlie and Renee agreed. They hoped I wouldn't be haunted by nightmares, and it seemed they got their wish. The only thing I felt when I awoke each morning was a strange calm, almost happiness, though I could never remember the dreams that had evoked that feeling. I figured that whatever painkillers were running through my IV had worked their magic.

"I have more good news for you today, Bella," Dr. Cullen smiled encouragingly. "Your friends have been asking when they can come see you, and I think you're well enough today to have some company, if you're feeling up to it." I tried to match his level of enthusiasm, but I'm pretty sure the expression on my face was one of trepidation. I'd made a few new friends at Forks High School, but no one to whom I felt particularly close, at least not yet. Mike Newton was trying his hardest to change that, of course, and he and his posse of friends had adopted me at their lunch table almost immediately upon my arrival on campus. I was grateful for that; at least I didn't have to eat alone.

"My daughter Alice is particularly anxious to see you," Dr. Cullen added, evidently hoping to sweeten the deal. I managed a genuine smile then, because the quirky, spiky-haired Alice was hard not to like, even if my other friends thought the youngest Cullen was an oddball. I think that's why I was drawn to her, in fact. She seemed perfectly happy to dress however she wanted, say whatever she wanted, and date the ridiculously uptight Jasper Hale without giving a rat's behind what anyone else thought.

"That's cool," I told Dr. Cullen. "It'll be nice to see her."

My surgeon smiled his impossibly perfect smile and said they'd all be dropping by after school, so I might want to take a nap before then. I had to agree. Sometimes holding up my head seemed like too much of an effort and I had to rest.

Dr. Cullen went off to do his rounds, and Charlie returned to the police station after Mom came back from running some errands and eating lunch. She watched soaps and talk shows while I dozed off, and I occasionally heard her talking on the phone to Phil, who was just finishing up the minor league season now that the playoffs were approaching. I could tell she was missing him, and anxious to get back to the life they were building in Florida. Though it made no sense, I somehow felt guilty for nearly getting myself killed less than four weeks after I came here to try living with Charlie. Mom had put my happiness first my whole life, and I couldn't seem to return the favor for even a month.

She was kind enough to wake me up around 3 p.m. so I could attempt to look at least a little human. I washed my face, being careful not to disturb the bandages, and brushed my teeth and hair. I was dying to take a really good shower and scrub myself from head to toe, but I knew it would be awhile before I could go about my normal daily routines. For now, this was as good as it would get. Mom went to get some coffee while I waited nervously, and at around 3:30, I heard the familiar chatter of young voices, right before a giant mylar balloon bouquet with legs appeared at the door of my room.

"Hi, Bella!" Bubbly Jessica Stanley was the first to greet me, waving the balloons above her head after she finagled them through the doorway. Angela Weber followed, grinning and carrying a heavy backpack. "I brought your lit books, in case you want to get caught up on the reading while you're out of school," she informed me before I had the chance to ask. I'd already read most of the books on the required English list, but it was thoughtful of Angela to bring them.

"Thanks, I think," I replied with a laugh. "The balloons are looking better to me right now though."

The boys all barreled in right after Angela: Eric Yorkie, Tyler Crowley and their ringleader, Mike. They all began talking at once, asking me how I was, and what had happened, and was I really scared when that whatever-it-was jumped me?

I shook my head, slightly bewildered, and replied, "I'm okay, I guess. I don't really remember much of what happened. I was walking along hoping to come across another car, or at least get my cell phone working; and then…nothing," I shrugged. "I woke up here."

The boys looked slightly disappointed that I didn't have any gory details for them. "Wow," Mike finally remarked lamely. "That sucks. You should have let me drive you home---I told you that rust bucket was never gonna make it in one piece."

My lip curled slightly in irritation, but before I could retort, Angela cut in. "You really shouldn't take that short-cut, Bella. There are a lot of wild animals in that woods and it's really thick. It's safer to go around, and it's only a few minutes more."

"Thanks, but Chief Swan has already lectured me about that," I sighed. "I've been forbidden to take that county road ever again. And my dad has had my truck completely overhauled since then, thank you very much." I shot a look at Mike's grinning mug. I liked my ancient vehicle. It had character, and it was stronger than a German-engineered tank. I felt safe in its old-fashioned, bulbous iron cab.

"So when are you going to be back in school, Bella?" Jessica asked impatiently. "You'll be better in a few weeks, right? 'Cause I kind of signed you up with all of us to be on the Winter Dance committee. We need to come up with a theme and decorate the gym and stuff. It's not until next month, so you'll be up for it by then, won't you? It'll be fun!" She stopped to take a breath so I took advantage of the opening.

"Uh, me and dancing…not such a good idea. You've seen me in gym class, Jess. Physical coordination is not my forte."

"Come on, you're not that bad," Mike protested. "I'll bet you can dance just fine." He looked a bit too hopeful for my liking.

"You can help me with the song list," Eric offered helpfully.

"And you can stop these two," Tyler gestured at Jessica and Angela, "from covering the entire gym in pink streamers or some other totally girly shit." He shuddered dramatically and everyone laughed.

"Okay, I guess I'll put my two cents in, to save the gym from complete defilement if nothing else," I joked, rolling my eyes.

Suddenly a voice rang from the doorway. "Is there room for one more?"

Alice Cullen smiled in at me expectantly, holding a gorgeous bouquet of white roses.

"Of course, come on in," I told her. "Those flowers are beautiful, thanks." Her smile broadened as she danced into the room with the grace of a ballerina, reminding me further of my own klutziness when it came to staying upright on my own two feet. She set the vase of flowers on the counter across from the bed and said hello to everyone. They returned a few mumbled greetings back, and an awkward silence ensued. For some reason, everyone felt uncomfortable around Alice, though I wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was because she was so ethereally pretty, with her porcelain complexion and hazel doe eyes. I could see why she might intimidate some, but she had been nothing but friendly toward me.

"Hey Alice, where were you during 5th period biology?" Mike asked, as if he had just remembered her absence. "Bella, you totally missed it!" he continued excitedly. "Mr. Banner decided we would all type our blood today, so we had to prick our fingers with these needles, right? Yorkie here totally bit it---turned white as a ghost and had to run to the nurse's office before he ralphed!" He punched his friend playfully in the arm and chuckled gleefully, the others joining him.

Eric shook his head in denial. "Sooo not true. I had food poisoning, dude! Did you see that disgusting mystery meat they tried to pass off as fish today?"

"Get real, my friend," Tyler laughed. "You were two seconds from passing out cold at the sight of your own blood…all three drops of it!" The group burst into another peal of giggles while Eric continued to protest.

A small voice interrupted the revelry. "Don't you think it's pretty insensitive to be talking about fainting over blood after what just happened to Bella?" Alice asked sweetly yet pointedly.

I bit my lip to hide the grin that threatened to creep over my face. Mike's face fell and he sheepishly mumbled, "Sorry, Bella," the others adding their apologies as well.

"It's fine, Mike. It was funny," I said, a bit unconvincingly. The truth is, I would have been the one running to the nurse's office if I'd been there. It was a good thing I had no recollection of my aorta being eviscerated, because the acrid smell of blood turned my stomach.

"Hey guys, maybe we should leave and let Bella get some rest," Angela suggested softly, giving me a sympathetic smile. "We'll come visit you at home when you're a little stronger, if that's okay."

I told them that would be great, and they gave me quick half-hugs before filing out of the tiny hospital room. Alice stayed behind, giving me a conspiratorial look. "Nice timing, telling you about the blood-letting in bio today," she said with slight roll of her eyes. "Why do you think I ditched?"

I chuckled and said I didn't blame her. I added, "Thanks for the flowers, really. Those are so nice. You didn't have to do that. How did you know cream roses were my favorites?"

"Oh, I just had a vision of them in your room and they seemed to fit," she shrugged. "They match your ivory complexion."

"That's true enough," I conceded. "I might actually be paler."

"Well, right now maybe," she grinned. "But I have no doubt you'll get some color back in your cheeks soon. Speaking of which…I have a strange request. You know how I'm thinking about going to med school? Well, that or fashion design, I can't decide which."

I laughed out loud at that. "There's a pretty big difference between your career choices, don't you think?"

"_Au contraire, ma cherie_!" She protested. "They both celebrate the glory of the human form, whether it's preserving the inside or decorating the outside," she said blithely. "Anyway, in the interest of my future career in medicine, can I please, pretty please, take a look at your neck?"

I gaped at her in surprise. "Um, well, yeah, I suppose. Although if you skipped school over a blood test, I'm thinking you really don't want to see this." I pointed at the large gauze bandage under my jaw.

"Silly, I didn't skip because of that. Jasper had a free period and we made out in his car for awhile," she grinned wickedly as she approached the head of the bed. "You should come hang out with us sometime. I think you'd like Jasper. He's a lot more laid-back than he looks on the surface."

Alice leaned in and peered at the bandage, then gently pulled at one corner with a dainty red-painted fingernail. "Dad wouldn't tell me any details---patient confidentiality and all that," she sniffed. "But I have to see this myself to believe it."

She peeled the tape slowly back, and I watched her face curiously as she examined the wound. Her expression didn't change, but she bit her lip.

"So…what do you think?" I asked anxiously. "Your dad seemed to think it was a wolf, and Charlie agreed. A bear would have clawed me to pieces, and anything smaller wouldn't have done so much damage, right?"

She gave me a long look. "That sounds logical," she finally agreed. "I'm just sorry it happened at all. I hope they find the thing that did this to you so we can get rid of it before it hurts anyone else."

"What, do you think it had rabies or something? They already gave me the shots just in case. Thank God I was pretty out of it so I don't remember it."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have to remember any of this," she said somberly, echoing my parents' sentiments. As if on cue, Renee pushed through the door of my room at that moment, carrying a tray with an espresso for her and tea with lemon for me. It had become our afternoon ritual over the past few days.

"Here you go, honey," she said, setting the tray next to me. She introduced herself to Alice, and when she found out Alice was Dr. Cullen's daughter, she threw her arms around her in exuberant Renee fashion and began thanking her for the great care her dad had given me.

Alice looked pleasantly surprised as she hugged Renee back. "Oh, my dad lives for saving lives. He was happy to do it, believe me. And we're all glad he was successful. Bella has to get better in time for my Halloween party at the end of the month," she said with a wink at me. "She doesn't know it yet, but Cullen parties are legendary around here. You're not an official resident of Forks until you've been to one. And I need someone to help me decorate, so you have to be in fighting form by then, you hear me, Bella?"

Sheesh, loud and clear. Apparently I'd unknowingly had "party planner" tattooed on my forehead as I lay unconscious in this bed. I hadn't been much of a social butterfly in Phoenix, but my new Forks friends were doing their best to remedy that situation here in the northwest.

Mom told Alice how glad she was to see me making such good friends here, and practically promised I'd be as good as new in time for the Halloween festivities. Before I could protest, Alice announced that she had to leave, but she would come visit again tomorrow, or call me at home if I was released from the hospital. She gave me a light hug and kiss on the cheek and waltzed breezily out the door.

"She seemed nice, Bella! And I ran into your other friends down the hallway on their way out. That cute blond boy, Mike Newton is it?, couldn't say enough nice things about you, Bella; but I get the feeling that Jessica girl has a thing for him, so you'd better watch your step with those two. You don't need to get in the middle of some high school drama when you've barely lived here a month."

I nodded absently, half-listening to Mom prattle on. My attention was riveted on Alice, who had stopped outside my door and was speaking in low whispers with Dr. Cullen. They exchanged dark looks, and I felt a knot of anxiety form in my stomach. Were they talking about me? I strained to listen. The knot tightened as I picked up Alice's final words to her father before they parted.

"I saw the wounds. We were right, Carlisle. That was no animal attack."


	4. Discovery

_**Edward**_

"Isabella Marie Swan."

I whispered the words reverently, like a prayer. My breath stirred a few dark brown hairs next to her ear and she twitched ever so slightly, but didn't awake. A soft "mmmmm" vibrated in her throat, the corners of her mouth curving subtly at the sound of her name. I liked to imagine that she could hear me in her dreams, and that the sound of my voice was soothing to her. I would give anything to be the source of even a moment's comfort for her, after being the cause of her hell.

I had spent the last three nights like this by her hospital bed, watching her lost in a hazy, narcotic-induced sleep. The sound of her even breathing was the sweetest music I'd ever heard. Sometimes she spoke, usually nonsensical phrases or names of people I didn't know. Occasionally she smiled or laughed aloud, and I wondered what dreams provoked her happy outbursts. I was jealous of anyone or anything that could inspire her pleasure, and cursed myself for being capable of causing only her nightmares. She seemed to have very few of those, and I was glad. I had overheard the nurses talking about what a blessing it was that she couldn't recall what type of animal had ravaged her throat like that. If they only knew just how loathsome that creature really was, and how close his proximity, they would have run for their lives.

That fateful night played over and over in my mind like a bad movie on repeat, no matter how I tried to switch it off. The ending was always the same: the hideous monster runs from the scene of the crime like a fucking coward, hating himself and begging whatever God might take pity on his prayers to spare his victim's life. I had hidden behind a tree and waited until the ambulance arrived, then stood unmoving for some time after the vehicle had zoomed off with her body in its confines. I couldn't shake the image of the cop bent over her, half-shouting at her to hang on, help was coming, as he ripped off his uniform and pressed it against her neck to stop the bleeding. I could see his hand shaking as he stroked her hair, and the expression on his face seemed to be one of frantic, barely-contained fear. I wondered if he knew this girl, as he seemed so personally invested in her well-being. Then again, I didn't know her at all, and the lump of terror in my throat at what I had done was nearly strangling me in its grip.

The sound of another vehicle pulling up to the scene shook me from my daze. It was a cop car. A second soon pulled up behind it. I saw the officers step out, leading a German shepherd police dog that began sniffing the area, picking up the scent. My scent. With a sudden spur of self-preservation, I turned and began running as fast as I could into the forest, deep into the thicket which I had so painstakingly picked my way out of less than an hour ago. I was amazed at how well I could see with my new nocturnal eyes, and how quickly the trees sped by me in a blur of feathery leaves and twigs. In mere minutes, it seemed, I stumbled upon a small clearing, and slowed at its familiarity. I looked over to my right, and sure enough, there was the deer stand I'd raided and abandoned hours ago. I gaped at in in shock. How had I found this place again, and how had I made the trip back in minutes versus hours? I felt the crazy-man laugh bubble up from my barely-taxed lungs as I realized how much harder my day had been than was necessary. In all the explorations of my new physical talents, why had it never occurred to me to test my speed? After all, Superman hadn't just been stronger than a locomotive, he'd been faster than a speeding bullet too.

I stood still for a moment, listening for the sound of the German Shepherd. I heard nothing but the softly falling rain. I knew that even if the dog could stay with my scent despite the wet, it would take the men all night to find me in the dark with their flashlights. I was most likely safe. And even if they somehow caught me, what could they do to me? Their bullets would probably bounce off my skin as harmlessly as the tin can had earlier.

I wandered aimlessly into the small cabin, removing my rain-soaked jacket and draping it over the back of the chair to dry. I stretched out on the cot and hoped desperately for a sleep that I knew would never come. I could do nothing but wonder if I had killed that innocent girl, robbed those lovely green eyes of life forever. Her scent still filled my nostrils; her blood still coursed through my veins, and I hated how alive it made me feel, when I knew better. I was nothing more than a parasite, sucking the life force out of others so that I could exist. Well, I couldn't, wouldn't, do it again. There was no way I would take another human life. I deserved to die of slow and painful desiccation instead.

As I lay pondering my fate, wondering how long it would take for hunger to kill a vampire (since the sun burning me up was obviously a myth,) I heard a snuffling noise outside the door. A pungent but somewhat appetizing odor soon followed. I turned my head and saw a large, bulky figure in the doorway, its nose to the floor, following the smell of the empty cans I'd tossed away that afternoon. Huge, hairy paws grasped the bean can and brought it up to the long, quivering snout of the creature…a black bear.

God really was showing me some undeserved mercy, I decided. Maybe I could get myself killed much more quickly than I had originally thought.

"Hey there, Mr. Bear," I said with a raucous, sawed-off laugh as I approached. "It's your lucky day. Instead of eating the usual garbage, you get to feast on human flesh! Well, not-so-human, maybe," I rambled. "Undead human, perhaps? Either way, it's sure to be better than what you're used to, eh?" The bear regarded me warily and let out a low growl. In response, I formed a fist and whacked the animal straight across the nose.

I don't know why I had thought the bear would be a match for my freakish strength. It seemed foolish in retrospect. And yet I was still flabbergasted when blood began to pour from the creature's snout as it wailed in outrage. The beast rushed me, its dagger-like claws shredding through my shirt, and its teeth heading straight for my throat. _Yes_, I thought madly. _Give me what I deserve_.

But the bear found no purchase in my stone exterior. Instead, the smell, the heat and the heartbeat of the animal began to pulse through my body just as they had when I'd clutched the girl to me earlier that night. The animal's scent was nowhere near as irresistible as hers had been, but the overpowering thirst filled my mouth once again. In a quick, effortless motion, I snapped the bear's neck back and fed on the river of blood that coursed from its artery. It happened so fast, I barely had time to register what I was doing. Only when I stepped back from the limp body of the animal did I fully realize what I was and what I was capable of.

I was a killer. And there was no creature alive I couldn't defeat.

Self-loathing filled me again as I struggled to accept my new reality. And yet, in the back of my mind, a tiny well of hope began to spring. I may be a killer, but I didn't have to be a murderer. I didn't have to gorge on human blood. I could exist on the blood of animals, just as I had eaten their flesh in my former life.

Somehow this realization filled me with relief, and I began to see that there might be a way to come to terms with what had happened to me. Clearly, others of my kind existed, since a vampire had evidently turned me into one as well, then abandoned me to live or die by my preternatural wits. A mindless monster had created me, but I didn't have to succumb to the same fate. I had no desire to hide in the woods alone and become more and more like the animals I was now forced to hunt. Maybe I could continue to live a human existence somehow, mingling among people without being discovered.

Well, on cloudy days anyway, I chuckled darkly to myself.

As dawn approached and I thought more about the possibility, I became more and more determined. Whoever Edward Anthony Masen had been, he hadn't asked for or deserved the fate he'd been handed. I owed it to him to try to live the life that had been stolen from him, and to find out of whom and what he'd been robbed. I would give him as close to a normal human life as I could. And I would start by making sure that he hadn't become a murderer.

I couldn't stop thinking about the girl. I had to know if she was alive. The thought of her pale, lifeless face when I left her sickened me. I decided to find out what hospital they'd taken her to, and I would make sure she had survived before I did anything else.

I was still afraid to show myself in the daylight, even though the sky remained overcast throughout the morning. I spent my day dragging the corpse of the bear deep into the brush and then cleaning the cabin up as best I could while I waited impatiently for the cloud-covered sun to wax and then wane over the treetops.

It was easy to find my way to the nearest town now that I had discovered my ability to practically fly on my feet. Once I located the paved road that had nearly been my undoing last night, I followed it in the direction the ambulance had taken. I soon approached the outskirts of a small burg with a modest wooden sign proclaiming, "Forks, Washington. Population 3,275." I wondered if a town that size would even have a hospital. They may have had to take her somewhere bigger.

I tried to keep an inconspicuously human pace as I strolled down the main street of Forks, taking in the small shops, cafes, post office, and library. I was relieved to see that the library looked recently remodeled, as I wanted to revisit it later and use its public computers. But my destination now was the hospital, which I found easily at the south edge of town.

I stood hidden between a large van and an SUV in the parking lot as I deliberated on a plan of action. I was glad that my jacket looked fairly clean, covering the blood-stained, torn flannel and thermal shirts I wore underneath. My mud-encrusted jeans and sneakers were another story. I knew that I would need to find clean clothes if I hoped to continue to walk around unnoticed. But without money, I would be forced to steal whatever I needed. I wondered absently what kind of work might be available around here for me to make a quick buck or two. Even so, the fact remained that I would still need decent attire if I had any hope of being hired, even in the most menial job.

I leaned down and peered into the rearview mirror of the empty SUV next to me to get a glimpse of myself, in case I was as freaky-looking as I felt. I was surprised to see a fairly normal face looking back at me, not unlike the photo on the I.D. card I still carried. A bit dirty and mussed, but not ghoulish or creepy like I half-expected to find. I ran a hand through my unruly russet hair and took a deep breath, psyching myself up to enter the hospital and act as nonchalantly human as possible.

The crunch of wheels braking to a stop startled me as a car pulled up on the opposite side of the SUV. I heard two doors open and shut as the car's inhabitants exited, and their conversation carried over the top of the vehicle between us.

"God, Mike, I still can't believe what happened to Bella," a girl's voice said with a tinge of disbelief. "What are the odds of her getting attacked by some wild animal on the side of the road like that?"

My spine went rigid. They must be talking about me and the girl. The girl had a name, and it meant "beautiful" in Italian. My heart did a pathetic little flip at the discovery.

"She should have known better, wandering around in the dark like that," a male voice answered angrily. "I told her I'd give her a ride home from work, but no, she had to drive that damned bucket of bolts she calls a truck. Shit, I wish I'd ignored her and forced her into my Buick before she could say no. If I had, she wouldn't be lying in the ICU right now."

_Thank God, she's still alive. _I wanted to cry with relief.

"I heard she almost died twice," the girl said with an odd tone of excitement, as if this were a piece of juicy gossip instead of sobering news. I already disliked her. "They had to give her transfusions and stuff 'cause she lost so much blood."

I could see the pair as they left the car and headed toward the hospital entry; an ordinary blond boy and curly-haired brunette girl, close to my age. Probably classmates of Bella's.

"I know. I'm hoping they'll let her have visitors. It sucks because she hardly knows anybody here. All she has is Chief Swan. But I heard her mom just flew in from Florida today…." the boy's voice faded to silence as he and his companion walked away from me.

Chief Swan…._Police_ Chief Swan? Of course. The man who had knelt over her so lovingly last night was her father. Christ almighty, I had nearly killed the Chief of Police's daughter. It sounded like the plot of some bad teen comedy flick. Scratch that; this was obviously a bad horror flick instead. I might as well get used to it, since I was now one of filmdom's most infamous demons incarnate.

Okay. The girl was alive. I had gotten my answer; now I should turn around and walk away. If I had any shred of humanity left in this walking corpse of a body, I would leave this girl alone and never darken her doorstep with my presence again. But I could no more turn my back on her than I could wolf down a Big Mac for dinner. In the small microcosm of my new world, she was the only thing that mattered.

My dark musings were again interrupted by the sound of voices. The blond boy and brunette girl were already coming back my way, grumbling about not being able to see Bella. Apparently she was too weak to have visitors yet, and a Doctor Cullen had told them he'd let them know when they could return. I crouched unseen next to the SUV until their car left the lot. Since I evidently wouldn't be able to check on Bella the normal human way, I decided that it was time to take my new vampire powers for a test drive.

The speed in which I'd traveled the forest last night led me to suspect that I might be able to rush past humans undetected. I put that theory to the test as I zoomed into the hospital entryway, past the staff at the front desk and the patients waiting in lobby, to the nearest emergency fire exit. I peered back out through the glass panel in the stairwell door; no one looked as if they'd seen anything unusual. I chuckled to myself, feeling frankly a bit smug about my success.

Darting from stairwells to closets, I quickly traversed the small county hospital until I found the intensive care unit. I hid in a supply closet, listening and waiting. It was amazing to me how quickly I could duck out of the path of nurses looking for swabs and bandages, or janitorial staff loading up their cleaning carts. My bursts of speed were simply undetectable by the human eye, and I continued my game of cat and mouse until later in the evening, when the lights were out in all the patients' rooms.

I had gleaned a few tidbits about Bella Swan from the snippets of conversation I'd overheard as I hid. She had been stabilized, and her prognosis was better. Her worried mother hadn't left her side since she'd gotten off the red-eye early this morning, and her father had barely been able to persuade her to accompany him home for a few hours' sleep this evening. But the heavily sedated Bella was finally alone in her room, nurses hovering just down the hall, by about 10:30 p.m. At 10:45, I stood just inside her door, gazing at her still form in the hospital bed for the first time since I'd committed the horrible act that had brought her here.

My breathing was quick and shallow as I took her in. The sweet scent that had driven me to madness the night before rolled over me in waves, and I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath as if to block it out. Her smell was beyond anything I'd experienced in this new life, and surely in the life before. The human scents of the hospital staff had tickled my nose every time they got too near, but I was able to shake off the bloodlust. This girl was different, somehow. Even diluted by the transfusions of others, her blood sang to me like a symphony, making my morning breakfast of black bear seem like tinkling elevator music in comparison.

My heart sank as I realized that no matter how much animal blood I consumed, Bella would be my siren, drawing me in and forcing me to bash myself on the rocks at her feet over and over again. One look at the thick, seeping gauze bandages covering the wounds I'd inflicted assured me that I would never, ever harm this girl again. But I would also never be able to deny the inexorable pull she exerted over me. Like a polarized magnet, I would hover ever near her, but never quite touching, never close enough to do further damage.

I stood for an indeterminate length of time near the door, breathing her in, forcing myself to get used to her heady scent. Then I slowly approached the bed, ready to break for the door at the first sign that I might lose control. I had to see her face. I had to hear her breathing. I had to _feel_ that she was all right, and that she would open her eyes tomorrow morning and greet her worried parents.

I looked down at her long, dark lashes and pale, freckled cheeks in wonder. Her dainty nose had ugly plastic breathing tubes protruding from her nostrils, but her pink mouth showed signs of vitality. She was going to survive this, survive _me_. She had to. If she didn't, I would surely go mad. Because as horrible as I felt about what I had done to her, the ugly truth was this: That moment when her heartbeat had locked with mine was the most intensely erotic and emotional experience I'd ever had. Of course, I only had 30 hours of this current life to go on, but I was pretty sure that I'd never felt such euphoria as a human. Her life force melding with mine was about as deep and visceral as anything I could imagine. If I could bottle that moment and be able to relive it at will, I would never accomplish anything else.

The guilt of these admissions washed over me as I stared at her placid, unconscious face. I didn't know how I could ever make any of this up to her, or if I should even try. She would recoil from me in horror if she ever saw me again. I would be forced to hide from this tiny northwest town once she revealed the terrible truth about me.

But for now, I would steal these few quiet moments, drinking her in, silently thanking her for my life, as it was; and promising to be her unseen and unwanted guardian angel. No one would ever harm Bella Swan again as long as I was around to protect her. I snorted inwardly at the irony that _I_ was the one she would most need protection from. Yet I was certain that the sight of her bandages and her scars would be all the incentive I'd ever need to squelch my vampiric desires.

I heard footsteps in the hall; moreover I felt and smelled human life heading this way. I briefly touched a strand of the girl's silky hair and whispered, "Good-bye for now, Bella." I had exited the hospital building before the nurses reached her room to check on her.

I took advantage of the empty late-night streets and leisurely checked out Forks, getting a feel for what was there, which wasn't much. I guessed that it was a logging town, the majority of its inhabitants working the forest where I had found myself yesterday morning. I couldn't tell how close I was to the coast, but the air had a faint briny odor and heavy dampness, so I guessed it couldn't be far. I was anxious to get to the library in the morning and do some investigating.

Near the west edge of town, I came upon a medium-sized bar with the name "Jake's Place" scrawled over the door, its telltale neon beer logo signs illuminating the small windows across the front. It was apparently still open, judging by the cars lined up along the length of the building. Well, here was my chance. If I couldn't blend in with the colorful types who usually frequented the local watering hole, I didn't stand much chance of fitting in anywhere.

I entered the establishment and looked around, surprised to find how roomy it was inside. The L-shaped building sported numerous pool tables and arcade games in one wing, while a large elevated bar, tables and booths filled the main room. It had just the right amount of ambient light so that somebody with sparkling marble skin could sidle up to the bar without feeling like all eyes would be fixed on his peculiarity.

I rested on one elbow, wondering if I could get away with ordering a water, since I had no cash on me. And could I choke down enough of the stuff in order to avoid suspicion?

"Hey there," a deep voice said evenly. I looked up to see the tall, dark-haired bartender approaching, cleaning the bar with a damp rag as he walked. "What'll it be?"

I tried to shrug carelessly. "Just water for now, if that's all right."

The burly bartender studied me with piercing blue eyes. "Sure, coming right up." _I_ _know what you are._

I started in surprise at his last words. His lips didn't move, and yet I heard his accusation as clear as day, hanging in the air between us. I blinked hard and decided that this vampire thing was making me paranoid, probably deservedly so.

"You new in town?" he asked, setting a glass of tap water with ice in front of me. I took the tiniest sip I could manage and tried not to swallow all at once.

"Yeah, just visiting. I've been hiking the past few days," I explained, gesturing at my dirty clothes with a wry smile as if to back up my statement.

"We get a lot of hikers and hunters in the Olympia Forest," the bartender said. "Be careful, though. A girl was just attacked not far from here last night." He gave me an intense, almost challenging stare. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that he somehow knew what had happened. But that was impossible.

"Really? No kidding," I responded in mock surprise. "It's funny you should mention that, because I think the same thing happened to me. I'm pretty sure someone knocked me out cold and stole my backpack, wallet, everything. I woke up with nothing on me but the clothes I'm wearing." I decided honesty was the best policy, for the most part. I could see I wouldn't get much past this guy.

His eyebrows raised. "Wow, sorry to hear that. That's rough, getting your I.D. stolen and everything. But the girl I was talking about was attacked by some kind of animal or something. Went straight for her jugular. Nearly killed her." Again he shot me an intense look, as if he were baiting me. I was beginning to get unnerved.

"I'm really sorry to hear that. How's she doing?" I asked. I didn't have to fake my concern.

"Touch and go, from what I hear," he said soberly.

"Hey Emmett, bring us a refill, will ya?" A voice hollered from one of the booths. The bartender excused himself and filled a pitcher for the group, and then spent the next ten minutes serving up the other patrons.

"Looks like you could use some help around here," I observed, an idea coming to me. "I don't suppose you're hiring? I need to make some cash, get some new clothes, find a place to stay. The thieves took everything."

The bartender gave me a curious look. "Haven't you gone to the authorities and reported what happened? Or is there something you're trying to hide?" he asked pointedly.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, there is something, actually."

_I knew it, here it comes._

I stopped in surprise, again wondering how I was hearing these words when his lips weren't moving. Son of a bitch, I was really losing it.

"I think I got whacked on the head pretty hard, because I don't remember a damned thing," I said in a hushed voice. "I don't even remember who I am. This is the only clue I have." I pulled out the student I.D. card and showed it to him, not the smartest thing in the world to do, since it proved I was underage. But I felt like I had nothing else to lose at this point, and it felt good to finally admit at least part of the truth to someone.

"'Edward Masen,' eh?" the bartender read off the card, then looked at my face, comparing it to the picture on the I.D. "Good to meet you, Edward. My name's Emmett Cullen." He stuck out his beefy hand in greeting. I shook his hand, trying not to grip too hard with my iron fingers. My eyes widened when he gave me a crushing squeeze back. It was the first time since I'd awakened yesterday morning that I'd felt anything resist my abnormal strength. The guy was broad and muscular, but I still hadn't expected him to be any match for me.

_Poor fucker doesn't even know._

Before I could comprehend Emmett's last silent sentiment, he spoke aloud. "Yeah, we could definitely use some help around here. I might be going to college soon; at least, if my dad has his way, I will," he laughed. I wondered if the 'dad' in question was Bella's doctor. "Billy could use some help. You know how to mix drinks?"

My brows furrowed as I tried to recall if I did. Emmett laughed louder. "Of course, you don't remember. There's nothing to it, I'll teach you. Oh, and as for the underage thing, I'll be quiet about it if you will," he said conspiratorially. I wondered what had made him change his tune, but I didn't care. I was grateful for the opportunity to make some honest money.

"You look pretty skinny. Can you do heavy lifting?" he asked, still sounding amused. He hefted a wooden case and suddenly tossed it toward me over the bar. My hands shot up and caught it in a reflex motion. I was dismayed to see that the case was loaded with full beer bottles, and probably weighed a ton. Shit, I was going to give myself away if I didn't start acting more human.

Emmett only grinned and said, "You're a wiry fucker, aren't you? That's good, you'll do well around here. Come back tomorrow afternoon when we open at three o'clock. The owner, Billy, will be here then and you can talk to him. He's a native American dude in a wheelchair, you can't miss him. I'll put in a good word for you."

"Thanks," I said gratefully. "I appreciate it, really."

Emmett reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. He peeled a couple of hundreds from the roll and held them out to me. "Here, go get yourself some clothes to tide you over until you get your first check. You can pay me back whenever."

"Wow," I said, surprised at his generosity. "That's above and beyond. Thanks, man. I'll pay you back out of my first check."

"Yeah, well…you look like you could use a break," Emmett said with a half-smile.

I raised my glass to him in acknowledgement and managed another sip before I slid off the bar stool and gave a quick good-bye wave.

_I'll be keeping my eye on you._

A small shiver ran through me as the bartender's voice pierced through my head in farewell. Was there any possible way he actually knew what I was? His strength was superior…could he be a vampire as well? I don't know why the thought hadn't occurred to me while I was sitting right across from the guy. He was uncommonly pale and well-muscled, but wouldn't I somehow know if I were confronted with one of my own kind? I hadn't noticed any particularly different smell from him, but I had been too busy trying to ignore the tantalizing scents of all the humans scattered throughout the bar. The thought that there were other vampires mingling with humans, undetected, both shocked and thrilled me. Maybe it really was possible to pull it off long term. Unless, of course, this guy planned to make one of the bar patrons his midnight snack.

I shook off the idea and decided that I was in danger of losing my mind altogether, having such thoughts. I wandered to an empty municipal park I'd discovered earlier and made myself comfortable on a park bench. I ought to try to get some sleep, or at least rest a bit. But I had the sneaking suspicion that vampires didn't require much of either. Maybe I wasn't even capable of sleep anymore.

The latter had become clear by dawn. I tried lying down, resting my head on my wadded up jacket. I never grew sleepy. When I closed my eyes, visions of Bella seared the backs of my eyelids. I was a bit worried at how much she consumed my thoughts, conscious and unconscious. I didn't even know her, and yet I had somehow made her the center of my world. Maybe it was because she had inadvertently and tragically been the catalyst for me to discover what I was.

Which led be back to the question, who had I been before? And did I have a human family looking for me? I waited in the park until 8 a.m., when the small public library opened. I hoped it would provide me with some much needed answers.

Anxiety nagged at me as I walked through its modern glass doors, and I glanced surreptitiously at the librarians behind the desk. One looked up at me and gave a warm smile, then went back to her paperwork. Apparently nothing about my appearance had struck her as particularly out of place. I sighed in relief as I settled into one of the computer cubicles and began the online search for clues about Edward Masen.

I started by Googling "Burlington," and at least half a dozen US cities popped up on the screen, none of them located in the Pacific Northwest. I tried typing in my name instead, and found numerous Facebook entries that matched. One had my grinning mug attached, but without knowing what password I had used, there was no way to access the account. Frustrated, I cross-referenced my name with the town of Burlington, and finally hit pay dirt: a team photo of the Burlington Community High School track and field team in Burlington, Iowa popped up. I scanned the photo, looking for my now-familiar features. There I was, in the back row, the tallest kid of the bunch. I chuckled at the idea that I had been a runner. I certainly wouldn't have trouble taking home every possible track trophy now.

But the question remained, if I was from the Midwest, how did I end up so far from home, alone in the Olympia National Forest? Had my family vacationed here? If only I knew their names. I tried typing in the last name Masen along with Burlington again. Several entries came up, but not as many as I feared, probably due to the unusual spelling of my last name. The most recent, however, was from an article printed in the Burlington Hawk Eye newspaper just one week ago. The headline made my heart sink, and I clicked the link with a terrible foreboding.

"Local Family Found Dead in Washington State."

Smiling photos of a man, a woman, and me accompanied the article. It stated that Edward and Elizabeth Masen were last known to be vacationing with their 18-year-old son Edward, Junior in the Pacific Northwest when their car was found along a wooded stretch of Highway 101. The car had apparently swerved off the road and hit a rocky embankment, causing the fuel tank to explode. The vehicle was burned beyond recognition by the time police and firemen arrived on the scene. The couple had eventually been identified by dental records, and while no evidence of their only son could be found, he was presumed dead as well. A brief search of the area had produced no evidence that Edward Masen, Jr. was still alive.

And, truth be told, he wasn't. A strange new creature had arisen in his place, one who had no memory of the terrible events of his past. And try as he might, he could muster not one shred of sorrow over the loss of his parents, who may as well have been passing strangers for the lack of recognition he felt as he studied their happy faces on the computer screen.

I stared hard at the article for a long time, trying to reconcile myself to the fact that there was no one who would be looking for me, no one missing me. At least no one whom I was aware of. Any distant relatives and old friends had buried me figuratively days ago, and would be moving on with their lives. But even if I had found a different outcome, would I have been able to return to the life I'd lost? How does one pop up at the old homestead, greeting the family with a "Hey, I'm back, but there's just the teensy little difference that I've somehow been turned into a vampire. That doesn't have to be a problem though, honestly, does it?"

No, it was probably a good thing that things had transpired the way they did. Now I had no obligations, no ties to a past I couldn't remember. I still felt angry at my inability to feel the loss of two apparently loving parents, and a normal teenaged existence. The Masens deserved more, I was sure. But I was unable to properly honor what I couldn't recall or miss.

I finally closed the link to my past, and Googled some information about my new home instead. I viewed a map of the labyrinthine Olympia Forest in which I'd been understandably lost, and noted that Forks was, indeed, located not far from the Pacific Ocean and the Strait of Juan de Fuca. It was also the rainiest place in the continental US, which made it the perfect place for a shiny-skinned vampire to roam the daytime undetected. And it was now the home of Bella Swan, who apparently was also new to Forks, according to the kids I'd overheard outside the hospital yesterday. _So we have something in common_, I thought with satisfaction. I immediately berated myself for the idea that I could ever develop any kind of reciprocal relationship with her. That train of thought would lead only to disaster.

I switched the computer off and headed toward the door, nodding at the librarian who had greeted me earlier. She waved and smiled in return.

_My, he's a handsome boy_.

My eyes jerked back to hers at the sound of her voice. Her lips were still closed in a pleasant grin. Hell, it was happening again. Maybe all vampires did this-heard voices in their heads. Maybe the lack of sleep was driving me mad.

I made myself busy shopping for clothes the rest of the day, which was unpleasant but necessary. I found a few cheap shirts, a couple pairs of jeans and clean socks and underwear at a discount store. The sales clerk told me there was a nice sporting goods place a few miles from Forks that sold heavy-duty hiking apparel, and I made a mental note to check it out once I had a paycheck in my hand. I managed to find a used watch and a decent pair of used sneakers in a consignment store so I could ditch the ruined ones I'd been wearing, and by then I had used up the money Emmett had loaned me.

I wondered where I could take a shower and get myself cleaned up. I was pretty sure that as a vampire, I didn't really need to bother with human hygiene anymore, but I knew I would feel better if I could stand under a hot stream of water for even a few minutes. When I came upon Forks High School on the north end of town, I decided this was my chance. I sneaked into the boys' locker room while they were outside playing football and cleaned myself up a bit, putting on my new clothes and surveying myself in the mirror. I thought about what the librarian had said. Was I good-looking? I gazed dubiously at my face in the mirror, running my hand through the thick, gravity-defying mane of bronze hair on my head. Heavy eyebrows, large greenish-blue eyes and angular bones were my defining features. My nose was a little flat, a little uneven. My smile was a bit crooked as well. I had no idea if women would find me appealing. Would Bella find me attractive? Was that the reason she had stared so intensely at me when we first met that night? Not because I was hideous, but because I was handsome?

I shook my head, as if to physically knock the notion out of my brain. There was no point in even considering it. She would scream in terror the minute she saw me.

I looked at my wrist, glad to have a watch again, and realized I'd better get back to Jake's Place and try to get myself officially hired. Emmett was already there and waved in greeting, then motioned to the game area, where a sharp-eyed native American sized me up as I walked toward him. Though he was wheel-chair bound, he had an aura about him that commanded respect.

"So, you must be the kid Emmett was telling me about," he said gruffly. "You don't look 21."

"Well, sir, the truth is, I seem to have a bit of amnesia, so it's hard to say," I said half-truthfully. "What I do know is that I find myself in need of work, and I'm hoping we can help each other out."

"That's some tough luck, there." The man eyed me warily, then finally stuck out his hand. "Billy Black. I'm a sucker for a hard luck story, so I'll give you a trial run here tonight. If you can pull your weight, I'll keep you on."

I shook his hand, and his eyes opened in surprise. I suddenly wondered if my skin felt odd to the touch for a human. What if I felt as cold as a corpse? I quickly withdrew my hand and said in introduction, "Edward Masen, sir. Thanks for the opportunity. I'll make sure you don't regret it."

He nodded curtly. "You do that." _If you're as good as Emmett, I won't care what you are._

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Was he in on it too? Or was my paranoia really raging out of control?

Emmett came to my rescue, steering me toward the bar for my first drink-mixing lesson. It turned out I remembered quite a few basic mixed drinks, so the former Edward had apparently done his share of partying. The afternoon and evening passed quickly, between cleaning, stocking the cooler and bar, and serving the patrons. Like many small-town bars, Jake's Place was an all-ages establishment, tagging underage kids with bracelets so they could hang out in the gaming area drinking sodas while the adults played cards and darts in the main room. By the end of the evening, I was beginning to believe the librarian's assertion that I was "handsome." My tip jar was full, and more than one woman seemed to flirt with me while I filled drink orders, despite the fact that I was much more reticent by nature than Emmett. He was a natural-born ladies' man, I could tell, and his tip jar showed it. The men seemed to respect him too, though I suspected his intimidating stature had a lot to do with that.

I stayed around after closing and helped Emmett clean up, and by then all I could think about was getting back to the hospital to check on Bella. Billy had left earlier, but not before telling me I'd done a good job, and he'd see me on Monday. Emmett slapped me on the back with enough force to knock a linebacker flat, and again I felt like he was testing me. There was no way I was just going to come out and confess I was a vampire, nor would I ask him if he was. If my instincts were wrong, he'd be calling the mental ward faster than I could run. Well, that was probably impossible, but I didn't feel like taking any chances with the big lug.

I raced through the dark to the hospital, and was in Bella's room in minutes. A wave of panic broke over me when I was met with an empty bed. There was no way she could have been released already, and she couldn't have…no, I refused to even entertain the thought. I darted to my usual stations around the building and listened for any word from the night shift, but all was quiet. Frustrated, I began rushing from room to room, looking for her. She had to be here; they must have moved her. Relief flooded me when I finally found her in a recovery room on the second floor. She'd been moved out of intensive care, so that meant she was better.

I was shaking when I pulled up a chair next to her sleeping form. I didn't even care that I probably looked like a crazy stalker, watching her while she lay unconscious. All that mattered was the sound of her breathing, and her occasional stretching and stirring as she rumpled the blankets around her.

"You scared me, Bella," I whispered, gently pulling a strand of hair off of her face. Did she smile a little, or was I nuts? Probably the latter. I was glad for my vivid nocturnal eyesight, because I could see that the color had returned to her cheeks a bit. It was a definite improvement. God, she was pretty. Not in an obvious way…just subtle and natural. I could look at her face and her slender frame for hours and never tire.

And that's exactly what I did. Time seemed to mean less and less to me the more I got used to the idea of immortality. I would be measuring it in decades, not hours. And time somehow both stood still and flew by effortlessly when I was with Bella. Sometimes I whispered silly things to her; sometimes I even sang to her. She seemed to like that, though I couldn't be sure. I'd read her chart, so I knew she was completely out of it from the pain killers in her IV. I also found out her full name, and I liked saying it. I liked the way it felt, the way it rolled over my tongue when I spoke it out loud. _Isabella Marie Swan. _I had missed her 18th birthday last month. I was glad she would live to see another, no thanks to me.

Dawn arrived far too soon, and I reluctantly left her bedside. It was a good thing I was forced to leave, because her delectable scent was burning my throat, and I knew I'd have to retreat to the forest for another hunting expedition. This time I managed to corner an elk from its herd and make quick work of it. The rest of my day stretched interminably before me, and I made my way back to town to find something to entertain myself. I went to the library and read the day's newspapers and magazines, then checked out a couple of books to take with me. I was still perplexed as to how I could remember books I'd read in the past, but had no personal memories of the parents who may have read them to me. I went to two movies; first an action flick, and then a romantic comedy. The last one was a mistake, because it made me entertain ridiculous ideas about Bella that I knew could never come true.

I went back to the hospital afterwards, even though it was a bit early. Bella's parents were still there, and I overheard them talking with the nurses about the possibility of her going home soon. They also mentioned how relieved they were that she couldn't remember what had happened to her, and were glad that Dr. Cullen had said she possibly never would. My heart swelled with dangerous hope for the first time, and I tried to put a lid on it. Even if she never recognized me as her attacker, _I_ would know it. Every word I would say to her would be a lie of omission. Besides, she deserved everything good in the world, like a human boyfriend and a career and eventually a family of her own. I could never give her any of those things. We didn't belong together.

I sat at her bedside after her parents left, vowing that this vigil would be my last. I cringed as always at the sight of her bandages, and concentrated on her beautiful face instead. I wished I could get lost in her sea green eyes once again. Maybe, if I were lucky, I would run into her someday in town and be blessed with a small glance. I began whispering futile daydreams to her, about what it might be like if we were ordinary kids and we could just go to a movie or play video games or hang out in the park. This girl had definitely turned me into the wimpiest vampire in history, I was sure.

The night passed quickly, and I ran out of stories and songs to sing to her. I sighed and took a long look at her face, dreading how endless and empty the nights would be without her next to me.

"Good-bye, sweet Bella," I murmured, pressing my lips to the hair over her forehead. I rose and, with effort, tore my eyes away from her and turned to leave.

"Don't go."

The words were barely audible, a breathy sigh. Had I heard them, or was my mind playing tricks on me again? I whipped my head back and stared at her, afraid she was awake. Her eyes remained closed; she still appeared to slumber. Even though I was probably just going insane, I leaned in and spoke to her again.

"You don't want me to go?" I asked softly, my breath stirring her hair.

Her lips parted and she answered in her sleep, "No."

My heart thumped pathetically in my chest, and I reached out to touch her hair.

"I have to, angel. But it won't be forever, I promise."

She stirred slightly and made a tiny humming sound in her throat, then lay still. I watched her a moment longer, then quietly left the room just as the nurses began their morning rounds.

My ridiculous undead heart was soaring. Against all my better judgment, I knew that I would keep my promise. Somehow, some way, I would see Bella Swan again.


	5. Encounter

_**Bella**_

"Bella, what are you doing? Put that down!"

Mike Newton came barreling toward me down the hiking gear aisle like his pants were on fire. I stared at him with a mixture of amusement and irritation as he angrily yanked a nylon backpack out of my hand.

"It's your first day back at work, are you nuts? You shouldn't be stocking the floor," he scowled, putting the backpack on its requisite hook and shoving me gently to the side as he bent down over the packing box and pulled out a couple more bags.

"Geez, Mike. These things weigh nothing. Exactly what AM I supposed to be doing that won't be too taxing for me?" I asked with exasperation.

"You go ahead and tag them with the price gun. I'll do the physical labor," he said with a tinge of smug machismo. I rolled my eyes at him and poised the gun so I could price the backpacks as he drew them one by one out of the box.

"Honestly, Mike, I can handle it. My arms and legs work just fine. In fact, everything works just fine. If it didn't, I wouldn't be here."

"Yeah, well, I remember how weak you were in the hospital, and that was only a couple of weeks ago. You can just take it easy. Just run the cash register and help the customers. Maybe face the shelves. But none of this lifting and carrying crap, okay?" he declared grumpily. Ugh, men. Always over-reactive and over-protective.

I finished tagging the backpacks and handed over the price gun to him. "Fine, I surrender," I sighed, then turned and began straightening the displays of camping equipment and hunting knives. Mike reminded me of Charlie, insisting on doing everything for me to the point where I wanted to scream "I'm fine!" even if I wasn't 100% back to normal yet. I was just so bored of sitting at home on the couch, catching up on missed schoolwork, that an afternoon at Newton's Sporting Goods Store was a welcome alternative. Mom had left for Florida a couple of days ago, and I'd made it through two days of school before the weekend came. I tired easily, but other than that, I was feeling pretty good. My neck throbbed dully on occasion, but now an over-the-counter pill took care of that. My bandages were reduced to a couple of large Band-Aids over the puckered black gashes that were still healing. I drew my hair over them and they weren't all that noticeable.

"Hey, Mike!" an excited voice called out. I looked up to see Lauren Mallory from school approaching, tossing her curtain of perfectly straightened, perfectly bleached blonde hair over one shoulder as she sashayed toward us. "Oh, hi, Bella," she added as a disinterested afterthought.

"Hey Lauren," I mumbled. For some reason she seemed to have taken an instant dislike to me when I first showed up at Forks High School, maybe because a lot of the boys seemed to have taken an interest in me early on. Jessica had likened the phenomenon to kids getting a shiny new toy for Christmas, and I had to agree. I was a curiosity, nothing more, I was sure. But Lauren seemed to resent me even after it was clear that I was no threat to her popularity.

"What's up, Lauren?" Mike asked. "You need stuff for that ski trip coming up?" He turned his back to me and began chatting with Lauren about her family's upcoming vacation to Lake Tahoe. Bored, and determined to make myself useful, I wandered back to the storage area to see what merchandise I could easily carry out to the showroom. I found a large cardboard box of thermal gloves that had just come in for winter, and it wasn't heavy, though it was unwieldy. I only had to make it halfway through the store and I thought I could handle it. I hoisted the box up and made my way back out into the showroom.

I would have done just fine if I could have seen my feet, but as I walked somewhat blindly, my sneaker caught on the base of a large wooden hat rack. The box began to hurtle from my arms as I fought to keep my balance. Seemingly out of nowhere, another pair of hands shot out to grab the other side of the box, keeping me from dropping it and embarrassing myself completely. I looked up sheepishly to thank the stranger who had helped me, and my face froze in wonder at the sight of him. Standing two feet away from me was quite possibly the handsomest boy I had ever seen.

"You okay?" he said softly, concern evident in his blue-green eyes. He looked almost fearful, as if I might have hurt myself or something. Or maybe he just felt bad for me because I was so clumsy.

I stared dumbly up at his beautiful face, trying to find my tongue. An agonizing moment of silence ensued while I gawked at him, my eyes cataloguing his exceptional features. Tall, lanky build… wild reddish-brown hair atop matching overgrown eyebrows… bone structure a model would kill for… smooth ivory complexion… lips so soft and pink, any girl would be jealous. And those eyes, framed by insanely long lashes… the type of orbs that pierced right through to your soul, stripping away all coherent thought and speech in the process. At least that's what it felt like as I hemmed and hawed painfully, locked in his spellbinding gaze.

"Here, let me help you with this," he said finally, in a voice that was the aural equivalent of silk. He handily took the box from me and set it gracefully on the floor as if it were filled with feathers. He looked up at me and grinned slightly, the corners of his mouth dimpling adorably. I started when he suddenly ripped the box open with his bare hands and then smiled even more broadly, evidently pleased with himself. It would have taken me five minutes and two bloody slip-ups with a box cutter before I had it open.

"Thanks," I mumbled, still trying to get my bearings. I searched for something else to add and came up empty, then blushed at my social ineptitude.

"The pleasure was all mine," he said in that swoon-inducing timbre. His sweetly crooked grin continued to render me helpless. _Stop being so charming_, I begged him inwardly. He ignored me. "I'm new around here and I need to pick up a few things before winter comes. Do you think you could help me?"

_Okay. Direct question requiring a response. A response that makes sense. _I literally closed my eyes for a moment to block him out, then finally managed, "You mean like a winter coat and gloves? Boots…?" I trailed off, having hit my verbal limit for that particular moment.

"Yes, exactly," he smiled. "I don't think this jacket is going to cut it for very much longer." He unzipped and removed his navy windbreaker, revealing an ordinary muted green plaid shirt and gray tee underneath. His long, nimble fingers mesmerized me for a moment, as I inanely thought, _he'll need size Large for those hands. _

He once again had to interrupt my reverie. "So, can you point me in the direction of the coats?" He looked at me expectantly, eyebrows raised, and I realized he was probably wondering if I was a special-needs person by now. I frowned and bit my lip, letting the pain inflicted by my teeth jolt me back to reality.

"Sure, they're right over here," I replied, motioning for him to come with me over to the outerwear section. I felt his eyes on my back as he followed, and I wondered if he was checking me out with even a fraction of the interest that I'd blatantly shown him. _God, don't be ridiculous_, I admonished my foolish self. A guy like that could have anyone. A model, a cheerleader, a human Barbie doll.

"Omigod, this is so hot on me, don't you think?" Lauren Mallory's squealing voice met my ears as we approached the outerwear. There she was, spinning and posing in front of the three-way mirror in a hot-pink ski jacket, while Mike nodded and grinned appreciatively. Lauren glanced over in our direction, then did a double-take when she saw the Adonis behind me. She gaped openly, her lip-glossed mouth forming a slack "O." I wondered if I had looked half as ridiculous as she did when my eyes first took in his handsome features.

"It looks great. You should get it," Mike assured her, then noticed our arrival. He frowned slightly at the boy next to me, who had nodded politely and then turned to look at the array of winter coats on a nearby rack. Mike's frown deepened when he realized that he had lost Lauren's attention entirely as she stared at the new Alpha male in the room. The latter's lovely face was fixed upon the coat rack as he flipped through the down-filled jackets.

"Those are really warm, and they wear like iron. We sell a lot of those to the hunters around here." I was stunned to find that the confident-sounding assertion had come from my own mouth. Maybe all it took was a little competition to bring me to my wits.

Adonis poured his molten gaze on me and replied, "That's great. I need something sturdy, since I'm outdoors a lot." I found that idea a bit odd. His build and coloring suggested musician or poet much more than hunter or hiker. He was quite tall and lean; lithe and sinewy more than rugged.

He pulled one of the black nylon parkas in question over his broad shoulders and looked down to check the fit. It was fine except for the sleeves, the wrists of his long arms poking out from the cuffs.

"Oh, that's hot," Lauren piped up, giving him a flirty look and flipping her hair back. Adonis gave her a perfunctory smile, while Mike's lip raised in a slight sneer.

"That looks good, but you'll need a Tall," I told Mr. Beautiful, turning to the rack of Talls and searching for the same coat in Large. He moved next to me and the hairs on my arm prickled at the nearness. "Here, I think these are all the same style. It comes in five different colors."

"The black looked great on you," Lauren interrupted none too subtly. Adonis again flashed her a short, cool smile, then turned the full weight of his stare on me. "What color do you like?" he asked me.

Wow. For real? He looked as if my preference was of great importance. Or maybe I just really, really wanted to believe that.

"They're all nice," I began lamely, until I envisioned him in the deep, vibrant blue. I pulled it out of the rack and handed it to him, my eyes leaving his only long enough to grab the right color. He smiled and took it from me, putting it on and zipping it up, then checking the sleeves. It fit perfectly. He looked ridiculously gorgeous, the intense royal navy bringing out the blue in his eyes.

"I'll take it," he said simply, shrugging it off and handing it out toward Mike. "Can you keep this up at the counter for me?" Adonis asked him politely. Mike gaped in mild outrage, then jerked the jacket out of the boy's hand, grumbling under his breath as he disappeared to the back of the store.

Mr. Beautiful gave me a conspiratorial grin. "Okay, maybe now you can help me find some gloves."

The next hour passed in a euphoric blur, with the handsome boy asking my opinion about every article of apparel he tried on: gloves, hats, shirts, shoes, even jeans. Every time he came out of the dressing room in a different pair of denims, demanding to know whether he should get the dark or light rinse, the zippers or button-flies, I nearly came out of my skin. He looked so good in everything that I was hard-pressed to choose what he should buy. I wouldn't have believed that his interest in my opinion was personal if it weren't for his clear dismissal of Lauren, who gave up trying to ply him with compliments and resorted to sulky stares behind his back instead. She would dislike me even more than before after this incident, I thought. And I didn't care one bit. I could barely tear my attention from the glorious guy in front of me long enough to acknowledge that anyone else existed.

Finally, after picking up a few camping items to add to all the new clothes, Adonis pulled out his wallet and announced, "I think you've about bled me dry here." Suddenly a look of alarm crossed his face, his eyes searching mine for something I couldn't name. Then he relaxed and gave a wry laugh, waving the wallet and adding, "I think I've done enough damage for one day."

"I'm sorry I took all your money," I apologized with a grin as we made our way to the cash register. "Hopefully it was all stuff you needed though. Didn't you say you just moved here?" I asked, trying to prolong the conversation.

"Yeah. I was vacationing here with my family awhile back and I liked it here, so I decided to hang around for awhile. I didn't bring a lot with me… I kind of wanted to start fresh," he explained.

"I can relate to that," I empathized. "I just moved here myself a couple of months ago, to live with my dad for awhile. It's been… an adjustment," I said with short laugh.

"Really?" he said, watching me as I rang up all his new clothes and gear. "Are you glad you came here?"

I regarded his inhuman beauty for a moment and said emphatically, "Yes."

He looked at me carefully and said, "I just wondered because…well, I couldn't help but notice the bandages on your neck. It looks like something bad happened to you recently."

I blushed self-consciously and put my hand over the Band-Aids. "Well, it was my own stupidity, really," I began. I told him the story of my unfortunate and unremembered run-in with a wild animal, which happened because I had ignored my father's warnings about traveling through the woods at night. His forehead tensed with concern as he listened. Good thing I didn't tell him about the crazy comment I overheard Alice tell my doctor, or he really would have looked worried. I still couldn't figure out if I'd actually heard her say she was sure my wounds weren't inflicted by an animal, or if the morphine had made me delirious. Because what else could have done that kind of damage?

"That's horrible," he finally said softly. His expression was so serious that it seemed as if he somehow felt personally responsible for my foolishness. "I'm so sorry. That never should have happened to you, Bella."

My heart began racing at the sound of my name escaping his lips. "How did you know my name?" I demanded breathlessly.

His eyes widened, and then he grinned and gestured to the area directly above my left breast. "Your name tag," he admitted.

My face colored and I let out a self-conscious laugh.

"I'm Edward, by the way," he said, giving me the heart-piercing look he was so good at. He reached into his wallet and handed me a large wad of cash to pay for his purchases. The cool skin of his hand brushed mine briefly, and a shockwave went through my whole body.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," I replied in vast understatement, handing him his change.

"The feeling's mutual." The quiet, velvety sound of his voice was beginning to feel like a drug to me, and I didn't want it, or him, to go away. Our eyes were locked in another strange dance, neither of us wanting to be the first to end it.

Mike Newton ended it for us.

"Bella, are you about done here? I need your help getting some of those skis off the top shelf for Lauren to look at," he said, approaching the cash register. I was surprised Lauren was still in the store. I hadn't even noticed. If any other customers had walked in, Mike must have taken care of them because I didn't hear or see them. It was like I had tunnel vision with Edward Whoever-he-was in the room.

"I'll get them," Edward told Mike before I had a chance to reply. "It sounds like Bella shouldn't be doing anything too strenuous for awhile." Holy crow, he was as bad as Charlie and Mike. But for some reason, I liked it when he seemed protective of me. I began to sense that this new boy might have a detrimental effect on my innate feminism. I could get used to someone like him watching out for me. _Too_ used to it.

"Don't be silly, I can do it," I told Edward, perhaps a little too defiantly. His eyebrows shot up, but a grin twisted his lips. "I mean, that's what I get paid for," I amended.

I followed an annoyed-looking Mike over to the ski equipment, and I could feel Edward right on my heels. Mike got up on the ladder and shuffled through the boxes of skis on the top shelf, looking for the right weight and size. He handed one of the boxes down to me, but Edward easily reached over my head and intercepted it. I began to protest feebly as Mike dug for a second style of skis, when suddenly I heard a commotion overhead. Somehow Mike had triggered a mini-avalanche as he pulled out the second box, sending at least a half-dozen pairs of skis tumbling down right over our heads. I heard Edward emit a short expletive as his hands shot up, lightning quick, and somehow caught every box before they hit me or the carpeted floor below. I stared at him in disbelief. By the laws of physics and probability, the boxes should have been scattered all around us, but instead, he had managed to capture them all and tuck them neatly under one arm in the time it took me to blink twice in amazement.

"How did you…." I began to ask, while Edward looked at me with a mixture of chagrin and anxiety.

"Shit, Bella, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Mike interjected, hurrying down the ladder and grabbing my shoulder worriedly. "I knew I shouldn't have let you do anything physical here at work today," he castigated himself.

"God, what happened?" Lauren exclaimed, running over to us from where she'd been preening in the mirror, a price-tagged knit hat still perched on her head.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I assured her, though I was certain her apparent concern was merely for Edward's benefit. "Mike dropped some boxes, but Edward caught them before they hit us." I again shot him a questioning look, which he deflected by turning and propping the ski boxes against the wall.

"Nice save, man, thanks," Mike said, nodding to Edward. Edward gave a quick nod in return. "I wouldn't let anything happen to Bella," he asserted, flashing me a brief but intense glance.

"Wow. Glad you're okay," Lauren said rather disingenuously. Then her face brightened at the picture on one of the boxes. "Cool, Mike, look at these! I've got to try them on. Dad said no rentals for me anymore, so I want a really good pair."

I was glad that Mike's attention was diverted, and I turned to Edward. "Would you care to explain how you did that? Were you a circus juggler in a past life or something?"

He quirked one eyebrow. "Possibly," he grinned slyly, then shrugged. "I just have a good eye. I saw them coming before you did, is all. I'm taller, you know."

I rolled my eyes slightly. I was about to grill him further when my peripheral vision caught a customer waving from the shoe section. A middle-aged man stood holding a couple of boots, calling me "miss" and asking if he could try them on.

"Sure, I'll be right with you," I replied. I turned back to Edward. "Saved by the bell."

He gave me that charming crooked grin, his eyes crinkling up into amused slits. "Some other time?" he suggested. _Please ask for my phone number, please ask for my phone number, _was all I could think. But he simply scooped up his bags of merchandise and said, "Maybe I'll see you around, Bella."

"Yeah, I hope so," I quickly replied, then bit my lip at my eagerness.

"It's a small town," Edward said with a smile, and what I perceived to be a meaningful look. And then, to my disappointment, he turned and left the store, my eyes following his long legs until he had disappeared from sight.

The afternoon passed quickly as I replayed the time with Edward over in my mind in between helping customers, and daydreamed about seeing him again as I stocked shelves. He was like no other boy I had ever met before. It wasn't just his good looks. There was something surreal about him; otherworldly, almost. There was no rational explanation I could think of for the effortless way he prevented all of those boxes from falling on me. And his singular interest in me was something no boy had ever shown before, unless he was trying to feel me up in a darkened movie theater or car. I could still scarcely believe Edward was real. Coming to live with Charlie was beginning to feel like the best decision I'd ever made.

I hurried home after work to cook up the cod Dad had brought back from his fishing trip that morning. He'd been worried about my first day back at work, but I assured him I got along just fine. I didn't tell him about meeting Edward, though. For one thing, I wasn't sure I'd ever see him again, though I certainly hoped I would. For another, I really couldn't conceive of having a discussion with Charlie about boys. He'd be as uncomfortable hearing about Edward as I would be talking about him. Besides, I was saving up to bend Alice's ear about Edward that night, since she had asked me to come to the Cullen house for my Halloween party costume fitting.

I was anxious to see where the Cullens lived, because I'd heard their spacious two-story house in the country was quite a spectacle. I found the dwelling at the end of a long, winding drive through a densely wooded area just north of town. Though night had already fallen by the time I got there, I could see that its classic style would be quite impressive in the daylight.

I was a bit apprehensive as I approached the side door near the drive, because I was afraid of what Alice was going to sic on me in the way of a Halloween costume. When I'd pressed her about it at school, she'd simply laughed excitedly and said, "Don't worry, you'll love it! It's going to be perfect for you." Then she'd clapped her hands and grinned devilishly. I was definitely worried.

Alice answered the door, grabbing me in a hug and exclaiming, "I'm so glad you're here! Come in, everyone's dying to meet you." She pulled me inside, and Dr. Cullen approached, asking how I was doing and taking my coat. I had just seen him for a check-up the other day, but he insisted on taking a peek at my wounds under the bandages.

"Those are healing nicely," he said with a satisfied smile. "I'm so glad that we got to you when we did that night. A few minutes more and we might have lost you."

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen. I'm really grateful you came to work at our hospital. I don't think I would have made it if you hadn't been there to do the emergency surgery." Or at least, that's what I'd been told by Charlie, Renee and the nurses. "I owe you my life."

"You owe me nothing other than a speedy recovery," he said. "And it looks like you're well on your way." He turned then and introduced the pretty auburn-haired woman next to him as his wife, Esme. She smiled warmly and said she was glad to meet me because she'd heard so much about me. She and Dr. Cullen were so attractive and young-looking, it was hard to believe they had grown children like Alice and her older brother Emmett.

"Emmett and Jasper are trying on their costumes," Alice explained before I could ask about her brother. "I don't know why, because they've worn them before. I know they still fit. But you, on the other hand…" she trailed off, grabbing my arm and pulling me upstairs. "Come with me!"

We ascended the open, modern staircase with its gorgeous pieces of art adorning the wall, and ended up in a long hallway that split off into several bedrooms. Alice pulled me down two doors into hers, a beautifully decorated room that was understatedly feminine in its shades of pale gray, lavender and yellow. In contrast, a bright red, sparkling piece of clingy fabric hung on a satin hanger from the open closet door. I gawped at it in horror. "Please tell me that's not mine," I said in a strained voice.

Alice looked at me sternly. "Keep an open mind," she told me. "You don't know what it will look like until you try it on."

"Alice, come on. You know me. You know I can't pull off something like that," I protested. I tried to imagine Mike or Tyler or Eric getting a load of me in a

skimpy red costume. My stomach lurched in response.

"Oh, you SO can. You don't realize what a cute figure you have. Models starve for a body like yours. Everything looks good on you, I'm sure of it." I groaned in submission as she started tugging at my pullover sweatshirt.

"Stop, Alice. Just give me the dress, I'll put it on." I started to disrobe, and Alice turned away, though she'd scene me in my underwear a dozen times before in the girls' locker room at school. She handed me the dress over her shoulder, ordering, "Tell me when you've got it on."

I pulled the offending piece of fabric over my head, and was surprised at the easy manner in which it fell and settled over my slight curves. It wasn't as bad as I had feared. It was short, but not embarrassingly so; somewhat low-cut, but not revealing. The skirt and sleeves were cut in flame-like strips and decorated in varying shades of red sparkling beads and sequins. As I looked at it, I realized that they were, indeed, supposed to be flames. I looked up to see Alice, smiling raptly, holding out a ridiculous pair of flashing red horns and a black pitchfork.

"Oh my God, Alice, are you serious?" I moaned. "A she-devil?"

"No, silly!" she laughed. "THE Devil! Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Dark Lord of the Underworld!"

I shook my head and let out a rueful laugh. "Nobody will believe me as the devil," I said. I had always been plain, ordinary. Blending in with the scenery was where I was comfortable. I simply couldn't imagine vamping it up in some racy red outfit, wearing an absurd battery-pack headband with glowing plastic horns atop my head.

"That's exactly the point, Bella!" Alice insisted. "My favorite thing to do on Halloween is to dress up against type. The fact that you are so sweet and unassuming is exactly why you should turn the tables and do something crazy for Halloween. It's liberating, Bella, trust me. Just try it this once, for me, pretty please?" She batted her huge doe eyes at me and pursed her dainty lips in supplication.

I sighed in defeat and turned to look in the full-length mirror. I was surprised to see that the dress was actually sort of…becoming. I couldn't quite bring myself to call it "sexy," but it did make me look and feel a way that I'd never felt before. Suddenly I wondered what Edward would think if he saw me in this dress. He would probably laugh his ass off, especially over the horns. But it might be kind of fun to poke him with my pitchfork in retaliation.

I blushed deeply at my crazy imagination, and astute Alice quickly picked up on my change in attitude. "You're thinking about it, right? You look hot! You have to see that. And when I get done with your hair and make-up, watch out! Every boy at the party will be dying to go to hell for you."

I laughed at her words, and then admitted, "Well, there's really only one boy I'm interested in."

Alice's eyes bugged wide. "Who? Dish, immediately! It's not Mike, is it? I mean, he's crushing on you so hard, but I just can't see you with him. You need someone more…mysterious." Her brows knitted in thought. "I really can't see you with any of the guys at school. They're such knuckle-draggers, most of them."

"Damn Alice, talking about me behind my back again?" a voice demanded from the hall. A handsome brunet head was peering around the doorway. "You girls decent?"

"Yes, which is more than I can say for you," Alice teased. "Bella, meet my brother Emmett. Emmett, this is Bella." A big bear of a guy, Emmett filled the doorway as he came through it. He wore a stiff white dress shirt with black slacks, and a black cape flowed out behind him as he barreled into the room. He whipped out a pair of plastic fanged teeth, stuck them in his mouth, and dramatically mimicked, "I vant to drink your blood!" as he dove for my neck.

I jumped back instinctively, a jolt of terror seizing my body. Suddenly, in my mind's eye, a glimmer of lightning shot through a dark, rainy sky as I felt something pierce my neck. Just as I realized that it must be a memory of my attack, it was gone.

"Damn it, Emmett, what are you thinking?" Alice yelled, punching him on the arm and giving him a threatening look. An expression of surprised guilt crossed his face as the meaning sunk in. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I wasn't thinking." He gestured toward my bandages. "I didn't mean to remind you. I was just getting into character and I got carried away."

Alice scowled and pushed him aside. "It wouldn't be the first time." She worked the marquee-style flashing headband into my hair and thrust the pitchfork into my hand. "Doesn't she look great?" she asked her brother, beaming at me as if I were a Thanksgiving turkey she'd just prepared.

"Yeah, she does," Emmett agreed. "The guys will be all over you. Don't worry though, I'll protect you," he winked, flexing a bicep. With guns like that, I was sure he could.

"Hey Alice," he continued, "the hem is coming out on this side of the cape. Do you think you can fix it? I gotta get going to work. I'm gonna see if I can switch the schedule around next week so Edward can come to the party. Billy has some nephews he can call in for reinforcements at the bar."

I felt a thrill race down my spine at the mention of "Edward." Could it be the same one I'd met this afternoon? How many guys had an old-fashioned name like Edward, anyway? Especially in a town the size of Forks.

"Good, I want to meet him," Alice said, a peculiar tone in her voice.

"Who's Edward?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Edward Masen, a new guy in town who just started working at Jake's with me a couple of weeks ago," Emmett explained. "I figure he could stand to meet more people his own age. I'm sure he's tired of all the middle-aged women hitting on him at the bar," he added with a laugh. "Those pretty boys have all the luck."

"Hmmm, I don't know…I think you're a pretty lucky guy yourself," a new voice purred from the hallway. A stunning blonde in designer jeans and a fitted cashmere sweater entered the room and snaked her arm through Emmett's, giving him a sexy grin.

"The luckiest, my beautiful Rose," he agreed, giving her a lingering kiss. I tried not to stare, but they looked like catalog models together, perfectly pale and gorgeous.

Alice interrupted their moment. "Geez, go to Emmett's room if you're going to start that," she groused. "Bella, meet Rosalie Hale, Emmett's significant other. She's also Jasper's sister. Rosalie, Bella Swan."

Rosalie finally tore her lips away from Emmett's and regarded me coolly with her clear blue eyes. "Nice to meet you, Bella. How are you doing? Alice told me about your unfortunate incident in the woods." She smiled, but her eyes remained indifferent.

"I'm fine, thanks," I mumbled. Rosalie was the type who always intimidated me. Beautiful, poised, graceful… my polar opposite. Charlie always kidded me that I'd trip over the flowers in the rug.

"My costume looks pretty good on you," Rosalie mused, eyeing me up and down. "A little big, maybe. A padded bra ought to take care of that." She grinned a bit smugly, clearly noting the difference between her luscious curves and my own slender build. I felt my face turn as scarlet as the dress.

"Oh, stop. She looks fantastic," Alice insisted, waving her hand toward Rosalie in dismissal. Then she whispered loudly to me, "She's just jealous of your killer legs." I smiled weakly, still feeling vastly inferior in what I now knew to be Rosalie's second-hand costume.

Alice turned back to Rosalie. "Did you decide what you're wearing? If you want something new, I need to know right now. I only have tomorrow free to do any sewing."

"Well, if Emmett's going as Dracula, then I'm going to be his Lucy, of course," she grinned, reaching up and giving Emmett a kiss on the cheek. "I already tried on that old-fashioned dress of Esme's. It fits perfectly, no need for alterations."

"Hey babe, I gotta get going. Walk me out, will you?" Emmett asked her, raising an eyebrow. I could tell by their expressions that that was probably code for making out for a few minutes outside Emmett's car before he left. "See you at the party Saturday, Bella," Emmett smiled before leaving hand-in-hand with Rosalie.

"So, um…." I began when Alice and I were alone, "what do you know about this Edward Masen guy?"

She looked at me curiously. "Not much. Just what Emmett said, that he's new around here and is bartending at Jake's Place. Why do you ask?"

"I think I met him this afternoon." Something in my eyes or voice must have given away my interest, because Alice's eyes widened in understanding.

"Bella…is that the guy you were talking about? The guy you like? Seriously?"

"Yeah. Why do you sound so shocked?" I wondered.

"I'm not. I mean, well, it's kind of a weird coincidence, isn't it? That he works with my brother, and he might be coming to our Halloween party?" She looked a little apprehensive, though I couldn't figure out why. She put on a bright smile and continued, "This is a good thing though, right? I mean, he must be a nice guy if you like him. So how did you meet, anyway? Did he come to the store or something?"

I nodded and told her about my afternoon. She listened intently while I described how different he was from the guys I was used to, and how he seemed so unusually interested in me instead of Lauren. She interjected that Lauren was as plastic as they come, and that Edward must be a smart guy to see through her fakeness and recognize a "real woman" (me, evidently) when he saw one. Her eyebrows shot up when I told her about Edward's baffling heroics concerning the falling ski boxes, but she said nothing.

"Well," Alice concluded, "I, for one, cannot wait to meet this extremely interesting-sounding guy. And I really want to see his face when you come out wearing these." She picked up a pair of frightening red stiletto platform shoes from the closet and waved them under my nose. I snorted at the sight of them. "I'd like to see that, too, but it's never going to happen. I'll fall right on my face in those things."

Alice made a dismissive noise and said, "You'll be fine. All women can wear heels. It's in our DNA."

Apparently Alice didn't know a thing about the Swan klutz gene. If I wore those, I'd end up taking a classic "Swan" dive into the punch bowl. I made a mental note to bring my red Converse sneakers to the party and hide them in my truck.

I was just about to unzip the devil costume when Jasper Hale came striding into the room wearing a Civil War get-up that was so authentic, it looked like he'd just walked out of a page in my American History book at school. He brandished a lethal-looking bayonet and declared, "Look, Alice, it still fits me like the day it was made!"

I stared at him, puzzled, and he jumped when he saw me. His eyes were black as they met mine, and for a second, they looked almost wild. Alice grabbed his arm in a protective stance and glanced worriedly back at me.

Jasper shook his blond curls a bit, then clarified, "I meant, since you did the alterations the last time I wore this costume." He smiled adoringly at Alice, who returned his grin. "Hi Bella," he said, turning back to me. "Like the uniform? It was my great-great grandfather's. He was a major in the Confederate army. Fought in Galveston, Texas in 1861. I think he would have moved up further in the ranks, had he lived." He smiled a bit wistfully.

"That's amazing," I told him. "That uniform is so well-preserved. You look great."

"Well, it's been well-taken care of over the years. Family heirloom," he said.

"Won't I look cute as his Scarlett O'Hara?" Alice grinned, batting her lashes at her boyfriend. "I can't wait-this party is going to be epic, I can feel it!"

I looked at my image in the mirror once again, trying to be objective about sultry Rosalie's cast-off costume draped over my slight frame. Maybe it would give me confidence. Maybe her sexiness would somehow rub off on me by osmosis. Maybe it was time for a new side of Bella Swan to emerge from the old ugly duckling.

Seeming to read my mind, Alice put her arm around my shoulders, met my reflection in the mirror with a wicked smile and whispered, "Trust me, Bella. When I'm done with you, I have the feeling we're going to get this Edward Masen guy exactly where we want him."

In the mirror, I saw Jasper give Alice a strange, almost foreboding look from under his eyebrows. She returned his gaze, and a shiver went through me. I didn't know what was going on, but I was sure as hell going to find out.

I took a deep breath and said dryly, "Let's party."


	6. Tricks and Treats

_**Edward**_

"All right, Edward Masen, you can do this."

I stared hard at my reflection in the mirror as if daring it to refute me. At least I _had_ a reflection, so another vampire myth was put to rest, I reminded myself. The human-looking face staring back at me could continue to fool people, couldn't it? I'd been doing just that at Jake's Place for the past two weeks, though admittedly the dim lighting and the generally inebriated state of the customers helped put me at ease on that score. The Cullen Halloween party tonight shouldn't be any different. But the knot in my stomach refused to untie, and I knew why. I would soon see Bella again.

I had already passed the test I'd feared most-meeting her face to face in the daylight. I had tried to stay away from her after she was released from the hospital, but failed miserably. As soon as I figured out where she lived, I lurked outside the house several times a day, listening for something, anything, to tell me how she was. At night I climbed the tree outside her window and watched her sleep, telling myself I was just checking on her. One day I caught her father using a key he'd hidden in the eaves to let himself in the house, and it was all I could do to stop myself from entering the dwelling at night to sit at Bella's bedside. I decided that if I crossed that line, there was really no going back. So I waited until the Saturday that she got in her rusted red truck and drove to the sporting goods store where she worked, then spent an hour outside the place working up the courage to face my victim and whatever consequences I had coming to me.

I arrived just in time to save her from a moment of clumsiness, and I was glad she hadn't hurt herself. I rushed to catch the packing box she nearly dropped, and when my eyes met hers, I was stunned senseless. I wasn't prepared to see her so close like this-healthy, vibrant, glowing. Images of her pale, drawn face in the rain and in her hospital bed as she slept were etched deeply in my mind. The sight of her, pink-cheeked and alive, in form-fitting jeans and a thermal shirt, took my breath away. I was sure I was staring at her relentlessly, but it seemed she did the same to me in return. I could feel her big green eyes piercing me the few times I could bear to look away from her. I kept waiting for that dreadful moment to arrive-the moment I sparked a memory, that moment when she looked at me in terrible recognition. But it never came. Instead, she appeared to be as infatuated with me as I was with her. At least, I desperately wanted to think so. She was nowhere near as obvious as the irritating blonde girl who kept ingratiating herself upon me. I'd had enough females flirt with me at the bar to realize that something in my vampire make-up lured them in, like a Venus flytrap drawing in its unsuspecting prey. And humans' tedious thoughts had become clearer to me with each passing day, their unspoken voices registering in my brain as easily as the words they said aloud.

But Bella was different. She wasn't transparent like most humans. I couldn't hear her thoughts; at times I couldn't read her eyes. She was sensible rather than silly. When I asked her opinion, she gave it honestly. I couldn't stop testing her once I'd started. I was perfectly capable of picking out my own clothes, but I wanted to know what she thought, what she liked, what she disliked. I shamelessly bought everything she approved of and discarded anything she didn't. I had no reason and no will to play games with her. I didn't care how obvious I was, which was ironic considering the disdain I'd shown the blonde girl, Lauren, for the same behavior. I couldn't bring myself to be anything but upfront with Bella, as if that brief bit of honesty could somehow balance the unbearable weight of the secrets I kept from her.

It certainly didn't help matters when that idiot blond boy, Mike, knocked all those skis off the shelf right over Bella's head. There was no way I'd ever let any harm come to this girl again if I could help it, and obviously I could. Bella was no dummy, and she knew something was suspect about my effortless snagging of a half-dozen oblong boxes before they hit the floor. I had deflected her questions, but I knew that the next time I saw her, I wouldn't be so lucky.

I couldn't, in good conscience, plan for a "next time." I couldn't ask for her phone number since I had no phone. I had no legitimate identity, address or social security number now that Edward Masen was "dead." And I certainly had no right to pursue a friendship with an innocent human girl, especially one whose life I had nearly ended, now that I was as inhuman as they come. But my weakness for Bella overtook me again when Emmett mentioned her name in passing; it turned out she was a friend of his sister Alice. Bella was helping Alice plan the annual Cullen Halloween party, and apparently no effort was being spared to turn the grounds into a spooky backdrop for all the local teenagers to haunt. I found that amusing, considering that I was pretty sure Emmett was a bloodsucker like me, or some other superhuman freak of nature. I still hadn't confronted him about it, though his thoughts often belied that he was waiting for me to do so. I was still wary of coming out in the open with what had happened to me, when I wasn't even sure how or why I had been turned. And I didn't know what Emmett wanted from me, either.

So it was with misgivings that I accepted his offer to change the bar schedule around so that I could attend his party. I had the feeling that he had some ulterior motive for wanting me there, but the knowledge that I would see Bella again outweighed any other consideration.

I ran my hands nervously through my hair, watching it spring up in frenetic cowlicks all over my head as I studied my reflection in the Forks High boys' locker room mirror. I had taken to sneaking into the school or the library in the evenings. I kept my new clothes in a couple of unused lockers at the far end of the locker room, swam in the pool to relax and used the showers to clean up. I filled most nights with books and music, since sleep never came. I loved listening to CD's in the library, and I discovered after tinkering around in the school's band room that I had a prodigious talent for playing the piano. I was never sure if the music that flowed out of my fingers came from my own imagination, or if they were songs learned from lessons long forgotten. All I knew was that it soothed my soul and passed the lonely nighttime hours until it was time to hunt again, usually before dawn.

Tonight I was wearing clothes that Bella had picked out for me, a red and black color-block plaid shirt, white tee-shirt and button-fly jeans. I couldn't bring myself to don a Halloween costume, since I could think of nothing scarier than what I had already become-a wolf in sheep's clothing. I took a deep breath and set out for the Cullen house, which, though several miles from town, would take me mere minutes to locate.

I heard the party before I ever came upon the massive two-story house in the forest. A huge sound system cranked rock music out to the unsuspecting woodland creatures, while string after string of orange lights bathed the grounds in an eerie, ambient glow. The Cullens, and Bella, had gone all out with this one. A make-shift tunnel shrouded in black fabric and lined with various stuffed or animated mummies, monsters and ghouls led guests from the long driveway to the back yard. The yard was partly taken up with a large orange and black tent, its canopy dripping cobwebs, spiders and bats, and a large disco ball at its center, spinning crazy patterns on the canvas floor below. More giant likenesses of Frankenstein and his brethren were strategically placed around the tent and the yard outside. A life-sized stuffed witch riding a broom hung from the massive bough of a catalpa tree near the edge of the adjacent woods, seeming to keep watch over her little haunted village below.

I caught Bella's scent before I ever saw her. Dozens of teenagers filled the Cullen yard, yet her unique essence seemed to waft above the rest to assault my senses. My eyes combed the crowd for her, to no avail. I wondered if hers was one of the many faces hidden behind a mask. If so, it would be a disgrace to her beauty, not to mention making it difficult, though not impossible, to find her.

As I began wandering through the sea of costumed kids, I suddenly caught sight of Emmett and my jaw dropped. He strode purposefully toward me wearing a classic Dracula costume, of all things, replete with fake fangs and blood dripping down his chin. What the hell was he thinking?

_This ought to shake him up_, his silent message answered my question. So he was trying to get me to tip my hand. Was this why he had invited me to the party? To bring the past few weeks of unspoken suspicions to a head?

I wasn't biting. "Interesting costume," I commented.

"Gooood eeeee-vening," he drawled in a campy Transylvanian accent. "You like? I've always had an affinity for vampires," he grinned. A gorgeous blonde in similar period dress sidled up to Emmett, and he put his arm possessively around her. "Meet my significant other, Rosalie Hale. Rosalie, this is Edward Masen, the guy from work I told you about."

"Charmed," she smiled somewhat haughtily, extending a gloved hand to me. Her pale, preternatural beauty gave her away instantly as being another of our kind. She cocked her head to one side and flipped her blonde curls back, revealing several large, fake gashes with red rivulets running down the side of her neck…in the exact spot where Bella Swan's scars now resided.

_Look at him squirm_, her thoughts taunted me. It was worse than I thought. Not only did they know what I was, they clearly suspected me as Bella's attacker. They had cooked up this little scenario to goad me into admitting what I had done. Fear prickled through my body. What, exactly, were they after? Did they think I was encroaching on their territory? I hadn't heard stories of any homicides around Forks, but maybe Emmett and his paramour traveled to larger surrounding cities to feed on the derelicts and crooks who wouldn't be missed. I had pondered doing that very thing myself-inflicting my own brand of vigilante justice on those who deserved it, since I could weed out a criminal mind from a normal one with little effort.

I took Rosalie's hand and shook it gently, not wanting to provoke Emmett's ire by planting a kiss on his girlfriend's gloved fingers. "Nice to meet you," I said evenly, careful not to give anything away.

"You _are_ good-looking," she said frankly after giving me a quick once-over. "Emmett's been complaining that you're stealing away all his tips. And poor Bella's blood rushes to her face every time your name is mentioned."

I ignored her deliberate choice of words and tried not to show any reaction to that bit of news, though I felt a thrill of elation inside. "Bella… the girl who works at the sporting goods place?" I feigned nonchalance. "She seems sweet."

"Oh, she's perfectly delicious," Rosalie smiled, her attempts to bait me now bordering on the ridiculous. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know you're here." _And vice-versa_, she added mentally.

I smiled politely. "Maybe I'll run into her."

"Well, she's surrounded by a swarm of hormonal boys over there," she said, gesturing over to the buffet. "That devil costume of mine does it every time."

Devil costume? I followed Rosalie's eyes to the group of kids, but I couldn't find her at first. I finally spotted a pair of flashing red horns between the backs of several werewolves, pirates and superheroes. There was my angel, playing dress-up as her alter-ego. Her pretty face was painted heavily with smoky eye shadow and ruby-red lipstick. Her hair fell in loose, lustrous curls below her shoulders, and her gaudy red dress and heels played up her slender curves and long legs to perfection. She was stunning. For the first time, my bloodlust was getting serious competition from plain old teenaged lust. I was actually a bit relieved to realize that certain body parts hadn't lost their functionality during my transformation from man to vampire.

I watched her, transfixed, for a moment. She looked a little flushed, a little giddy, probably from all the male attention. My eyes narrowed slightly in irritation. I felt the irrational desire to be the only one who made her react that way. I stared relentlessly until she felt my eyes on her and looked up at me. She appeared surprised, then the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile. I couldn't help but give her one in return. I excused myself from Emmett and Rosalie, who both raised an eyebrow and secretly wondered what my agenda was concerning Bella. If they only knew how infatuated I was with her, they would probably think I was either the craziest or most pathetic vampire who had ever walked. I didn't care.

Before I could close the 50-odd feet between us, I felt a warm hand grab the flannel of my shirt sleeve. "Hey, Edward!" a familiar voice gushed. I looked down into the vapid blue eyes of Lauren, the girl from the store last week. She was dressed as some sort of genie, her costume pushing her half-naked breasts up toward my face. "Remember me? Lauren Mallory, from Newton's store last weekend. That shirt you bought looks hot on you!"

I sighed wearily. "Yeah, I remember. Thanks. Bella has good taste," I told her, wondering if she would get the hint that easily. She didn't surprise me by continuing her prattle. "So, are you new around here? I never see you in school, but somebody said they thought they saw you at Jake's. I love to play pool-we should play some time!"

I looked at her blankly. "Yeah, I'm new to Forks. I graduated already," I lied. "I work at Jake's…I don't think Billy would appreciate me playing pool during work hours."

"Oh, that's cool. Maybe we could meet up sometime after school, before you go to work." She squeezed my arm and smiled up at me expectantly. I could tell she was used to getting her way with guys, and that few wouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth. I was one of the few. I did momentarily wonder what her blood might taste like, as her scent was far more appealing than her personality. I pushed the monstrous thought aside, then gently pushed her aside as well. "I'm sorry, I need to speak with someone, please excuse me."

_Un-fucking-believable! _Her brain could not register my rejection. I grinned in spite of myself, turning back to Bella again. She was still entertaining three boys, one of whom was the annoying Newton kid. Her eyes were locked on mine as I approached, and she no longer looked happy. Was she actually jealous of my brief attention to Lauren? I balked a bit at her expression, and instead of interrupting her and her friends, I strode past them to the large buffet table and pretended to check out the snacks. I could feel her eyes on me, and I hoped she would come speak to me. I wandered further down to a giant punch bowl and filled a glass, noticing the pungent aroma of rum mixed in with the fruit punch. I pretended to take a sip, and wondered if the Cullens were aware that someone had spiked the drinks. I couldn't imagine that the doctor had knowingly allowed alcohol at a party filled with minors.

Suddenly the air warmed next to me, and the familiar torment of Bella's scent filled my nostrils. I felt a sharp jab in my side, and looked down in surprise to find a plastic three-pronged pitchfork poking me. Bella brandished the fake weapon against me for a moment, grinning impishly. "I'd like a refill, please," she said, holding her empty glass out to me.

I turned and looked at her, the side of my mouth turning up in a grin. "Your wish is my command," I said, taking her glass and filling it. "Be careful, though, I think somebody spiked the punch."

"Oh, I know, Tyler did it," she affirmed, shrugging back to one of the pirates she'd left behind. "How else do you think I'd make it through the night in this get-up? Liquid courage!" She raised her glass and took a few big swallows, then giggled giddily. I realized that she was already tipsy.

"Well, it does seem a little out of character for you," I conceded.

"Oh, no! This is me all right… a horny little devil." Her eyes rolled up toward the blinking horns atop her head, and she began giggling again. Then her eyes met mine and she flushed deeply, biting her lip. I was seized with the overwhelming desire to kiss her.

"Hmmm, I don't know," I told her. "I think maybe a halo and angel wings would be more appropriate."

She scowled up at me. "What makes you say that?"

I brushed the knuckles of my hand along her pink cheekbone. "Your blush just gave you away."

Her face reddened again, and I heard her heartbeat quicken. I realized I was too close, and I took a step back. Never again did I want to lose myself in the beat of her heart, knowing where it had led me that terrible night.

"Where's your costume?" she asked, her voice cracking a little. Did I make her nervous? Why couldn't I read her like I could other humans?

"What do you mean? This is it. I'm a lumberjack," I said, popping the collar of my red flannel shirt. "I guess I forgot my axe, though."

"Aahh, so that's why you bought this outfit at the store," she played along. "You were about to go chop down trees with your bare hands."

"What, you don't think I could do it?" I joked. If she only knew the truth.

"Maybe," she said, the teasing tone leaving her voice. "I think you might be able to do whatever you set your mind to. Like, for instance, catching a bunch of randomly falling boxes of skis at the speed of light."

I inhaled pensively and looked away. I should have known she wouldn't forget about that. "It was a lucky break," I tried to convince her. "I used to work in a packing plant. I got used to thinking quick on my feet when things like that happened." Who knows? Some of that may have been true.

"Huh." She clearly didn't believe me. "And now you work in a bar. How do you like that?"

"I like it fine. The tips are good. I'm saving up to get a car, and a place of my own." The words surprised me as they came out of my mouth. I hadn't actually articulated that before, even to myself. But it sounded like I had a plan, at any rate, instead of just living moment to moment.

"So, you never wanted to go to college after high school?" she asked, taking another hefty swig of punch.

"Maybe. I…." I trailed off, looking deeply into her eyes. I wanted to trust her with the truth. At least more than I had so far. "The truth is, I don't remember," I said softly.

She looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"I don't really remember much of my life before I came here," I admitted. "I guess I have amnesia."

Her eyes grew round. "You're serious."

I nodded, giving her a wary sideways look. "I woke up in the woods around here a few weeks ago, not knowing what happened to me or what I was doing here."

She shook her head incredulously. "What happened?"

I looked around for a place to sit and talk, but the tent was filled with dancing, drinking kids. "Do you want to go find someplace to sit down for a minute?" I suggested.

"God, I thought you'd never ask," she groaned. "Do you have any idea what it's like to stand around on these stilts?" She pointed down at her killer heels.

I laughed and assured her, "They're pretty ridiculous. Very sexy though, I must admit."

"Alice insisted. I cannot, repeat, can_not_ wear high heels. It's a miracle I haven't killed myself in them yet." She took a few steps and, as if on cue, her ankle wobbled and she nearly went down. I caught her easily by the elbow and tried not to laugh as she cursed her shoes.

"Here, I have a solution," I grinned, setting down my untouched drink. I put one arm around her shoulders, bent down and placed the other behind her knees, then scooped her up in my arms. "Where to, my little devil?"

Her mouth gaped open in surprise, and her breath in my face made my mouth water. I took a hard look at the bandages still covering her neck and fought back the thirst.

"Can you take me to my truck? I have Plan B there," she said mysteriously.

I carried her back through the spooky tunnel, while she drunkenly described how she and the Cullens had constructed and decorated it. I assured her it was very cool and very scary. She punched me in the arm in reply, so apparently my sincerity was questionable.

Her vintage Chevy was parked close to the garage in front of the house, opposite the noise and lights of the back yard. She insisted I set her down outside the truck, and she unlocked the passenger door, giving me a tantalizing rear view as she bent over and fished around the floor of the vehicle. She spun around, chuckling and waving a pair of red Converse sneakers in her hand. "Plan B. I knew I'd need 'em."

I laughed at how cute she was as she plopped herself on the raised passenger seat, legs dangling out the side, facing me as I leaned against the open truck door. She set the sneakers on her lap and her face grew serious. "Now tell me what happened to you," she demanded.

"That's the thing…I don't know, exactly," I began slowly. I told her the story of my first day in the woods, leaving out the vampire part, of course. I also told her that I had tried to find information about my former life on the internet, and discovered that I had no family to go back to. "So I decided to start over here, since I can't recall any other place or any other life."

Her face was somber, thoughtful. "I'm so sorry about your family. Even if you don't remember them, that's awful," she said earnestly, then paused for a moment. "Why didn't you go to the police and try to recover your driver's license? My dad is the Police Chief here. He can help you. You might have inherited some money or something. I mean, surely you had a home in Iowa. Even if you didn't want to live there anymore, you could sell the property and have some cash in hand. Maybe you could even think about college then."

I stared at her lovely face, wracking my brain for some kind of plausible excuse for not going through the obvious channels to get my life back. I could think of none. "I don't know," I finally shrugged. "Part of me just wants to start over entirely. Make it on my own merits. I can't explain it… it just feels like something I need to do."

She still looked puzzled. "I guess I get that. It's kind of a guy thing, wanting to conquer the world. It just seems like you're going about it the hard way."

I let out a rueful laugh. "You're right, I am. I guess it's kind of like wearing these skyscrapers on your feet when you could just take them off-" I punctuated my words by lifting her feet, one at a time, and removing the shiny red sling-backs, "and put on something you can walk in instead."

She laughed a little, but I didn't miss her sharp intake of breath when my hand gripped her calves. I hoped my touch didn't repulse her, and that she'd assume being outdoors in the cool night had made my hands cold. I set the stiletto heels down next to her on the floor of the truck, and then took one of the sneakers and gently eased her foot inside. She watched me intently, biting her lip, making me think of kissing her again.

"I'm curious," I said, pulling the laces snug and tying them in a neat bow. "If this outfit was so uncomfortable for you, why did you wear it tonight?"

She gazed at me with big, glassy eyes, and I began to wonder how much she had really drunk before I got here. I could faintly smell the alcohol in her blood as it pumped through her. "It was Alice's idea. She said that on Halloween, you should try something different, be someone opposite of who you are. She said it was freeing, or something like that," she frowned as if trying to remember.

"So, was it?" I asked, placing the second shoe on her other foot. "Freeing? Do you feel free?"

Suddenly her face seemed closer to mine, and I realized we were both leaning toward one another. I finished tying her shoe while she replied, "A little. I do feel… different. I wanted to be sexy." The blush claimed her cheeks again, and the sight of that blood dancing under her skin cried out to me like a drug. I knew I should move away from her, but I felt tangled in her intoxicating web.

"You are sexy, " I assured her softly. "You look beautiful tonight. But you don't need any of this stuff." I removed the silly flashing devil horns from atop her head and set them next to her discarded shoes. I ran my fingers through the messy curls of her deep chestnut hair, then moved them gently down the side of her face. My thumb rubbed along the glossy red tint of her mouth, and her lips parted at my touch. "You looked just as sexy in your jeans last week as you do tonight. Maybe sexier."

Her green eyes glistened and the air escaped her lips in short, quick breaths against my thumb. She moved her hands up to the sides of my face, and I flinched slightly, afraid she would cringe at the feel of my cold, marble skin. Instead, she stroked my cheeks and jaw with her warm fingers, her face leaning dangerously close to mine.

"Why do you smell so good?" she whispered. My eyebrows raised in surprise. In all the time I had fought the madness her scent evoked, I had never dreamed that I smelled equally irresistible to her. "And why is your skin so cold?"

I inhaled sharply, my brows knitting, ready for her to comprehend my alien nature and recoil from me at any moment. I removed my hand from her face, but she wouldn't let me go. She held my face firmly in her hot little hands and murmured, "Why are you so beautiful?" before she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine.

I moaned involuntarily at the feel of her warm, wet mouth opening against mine. I had imagined this moment more times than I cared to admit, always rejecting the absurd idea before it went any further. But none of my fantasies prepared me for the sensation of her tongue tentatively licking my lips, searching for mine. The shock of her forwardness wore off quickly as instinct took over. I kissed her slowly at first, savoring the feel of her lips, the taste of her tongue. The hunger for more began to build and my lips pressed harder against hers, my tongue exploring every wet corner of her mouth. I couldn't stop the groans of pleasure that vibrated in my throat, and with each one she responded in kind, twisting her fingers through my hair, pressing her body closer and entwining her legs with mine. I pulled her tightly to me, one hand tangling in her thick hair, the other sliding down her body, grasping her hip and pulling her against the hard knot of the erection throbbing in my jeans. She let out a soft, low moan and wrapped her arms and legs around me, yielding to me. The sound of her racing heart hammered against my chest and throbbed in my head. My kisses wandered from her sweet mouth and down the soft skin of her jaw to her neck.

My lips froze at the feel of the plastic bandage tape they found there. I panted heavily, my mouth mere inches from the very spot where I had nearly taken this beautiful girl's life a few scant weeks ago. Panic stabbed through me as I realized how close I had just come to getting carried away again. What if I would never be able to separate sexual lust from the blood lust? It seemed they were far too dangerously linked.

Bella sensed my tension and leaned back, instinctively putting her hand up to the Band-Aids. "I'm sorry," she whispered in a mortified tone, pulling away from me.

"No, Bella, it's not what you think," I said desperately, even though it was exactly what she thought, only a hundred times worse. "I'm not turned off by this," I insisted, my fingers gently touching the bandages below her jaw. "I just don't think that the front seat of your truck in the Cullen driveway during a raging party is the best place for this."

She let out a small half-laugh and admitted, "You're right, I suppose. "It's just… I don't know when I'm going to see you again. I'm afraid you're going to disappear." Her hands wandered to my face again, and the hairs on my body prickled at her touch.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised her. "I couldn't even if I tried." She would never know how strongly I was bound to her, and to what lengths I'd go to protect her. I would spend the rest of my existence trying to earn penance for a crime I hoped she'd never remember I committed.

"Come on, let's go back. You can introduce me to your friends," I suggested, taking her hands and pulling on them gently as I stepped backward, so she'd scoot off the seat of the truck. She jumped down with a sigh and replied, "Okay. But I'd rather just stay here with you."

I almost wished she'd stop saying things like that…things that made me hope for some kind of future that I would never be able to share with her. But mostly I felt an irresistible warmth in my cold, dead heart, and a few other places as well. If I was going to eventually crash and burn, I might as well enjoy the ride before it happened.

The party was still going strong, the kids getting drunker, louder and less inhibited. Bella made a bee-line for the spiked punch again even though I advised her against it. I made her get some hors d'oeuvres to go along with it, which she inhaled quickly, pouting at me the entire time and asking me why I wasn't eating anything. I told her I had a late dinner, which wasn't exactly a lie. I'd fed on a large, angry mountain lion before I'd gotten ready for the party. I found I enjoyed the challenge and taste of predators more than prey, and I figured I'd better quench my thirst before I surrounded myself with the appetizing smells of humans all night.

"Bella, there you are! Where have you been?" I turned to see a short, curvaceous brunette in some sort of sexy nurse uniform and hat coming toward us. I recognized her as the girl who'd been with Mike Newton outside the hospital the first time I went to check on Bella. Another tall, slender girl in Princess Leia buns and a drapey robe was right behind her. They both stopped short at the sight of me, staring dumbly up at me with round eyes. Leia was enjoying what she considered to be my "gorgeous face," and wondering who I was. The nurse was doing the same, but with the caveat, _What's a hot guy like that doing with Bella? _My eyes narrowed at her snide, jealous thoughts.

"Jessica, Angela!" Bella slurred, hugging them both and accidentally dripping punch down the back of their white outfits. I was tempted to help Bella spill the entire glass on Jessica, but I refrained.

"Who's your friend?" Jessica gushed, smiling hugely up at me. I gave a perfunctory smile in return.

"This is Edward Masen," Bella said with what sounded like a smidge of pride. "Edward, this is Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber." They both grinned sweetly, but only one of the girls' thoughts matched. I nodded at both and said I was glad to meet them.

"Oh, you're the guy that Bella met at Newton's last week!" Jessica exclaimed. So Bella had told her friends about me. I grinned sideways at her, and she looked a bit embarrassed. Her chagrin increased exponentially as Jessica continued, "She wasn't lying, you are seriously, like, the best-looking guy I've ever seen in this Podunk town. So what are you doing here, anyway?"

I gave the abbreviated version of my "wanting to start over" story that I had originally told Bella. Unlike Bella, I knew it would be enough to satisfy Jessica's short attention span.

"Oh wow, that's cool! We'll have to come play darts at Jake's sometime, right Bella?" Jessica beamed. Bella looked up at me hesitantly.

"I'd like that," I said, glancing at Bella's friends, but my eyes settling on hers. A slow smile crept over her face and she said, "Name the time."

"I'll check my schedule and let you know," I replied with a grin. She looked a bit miffed. When her friends excused themselves to get more drinks, I leaned over and whispered, "I work most days from 3 p.m. to closing. You can come see me every day if you want."

"What, and just sit around watching you mix drinks for hours?" she snorted. I quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. She sighed and admitted, "I'd probably do it. You look good doing most anything. It's kind of annoying."

I laughed and told her, "You know, it may be a good thing that you probably won't remember much of this tomorrow. But if you don't, I might really enjoy reminding you at inopportune moments."

"What makes you think I won't remember tonight?" she demanded archly.

"Because you've had too much to drink, and if you don't stop, I think you may be sorry."

"I'm fine," she insisted, even though she was beginning to have trouble focusing her eyes on mine for long. "Trust me, I will never forget the things you said to me tonight. And the way you kissed me." She leaned closer and lifted her face up to me, and I wanted to cover her lips with mine again.

"_You_ kissed _me_," I reminded her. "I was perfectly innocent until you threatened me with a pitchfork and seduced me in your truck."

"You're such a liar!" she accused, punching me in the arm. "Ouch, geezus!" she cried out, shaking her hand in pain. Hitting me must have been like hitting a brick wall. I grabbed her hand and rubbed it gently, making sure all her fingers were still in working order.

"Please don't do that again," I begged her in a low whisper. She stared at me in disbelief.

"Who _are_ you?" she said slowly. I understood what she was asking, but I was unwilling to give the answer she sought.

I shook my head. "Let it go for tonight, okay?" I asked quietly. I kissed the top of her hand gently, my eyes pleading.

Before she could answer, I felt something sharp pierce my side, and I briefly wondered if Bella was wielding her pitchfork again. But a low male voice demanded, "Unhand her at once." Standing next to me was a tall blond guy in a very realistic Confederate uniform, brandishing what looked to be a real sword. Our eyes met, and his mind said, _Touch her again and I will end you myself._

I stared at him in shock. Even in the shifting light patterns thrown about by the disco ball, I could see that he was covered in white, cobwebby scars all over his neck and face. They were probably imperceptible to human eyes, I realized. But my vampire sight perceived them as bite marks, and his pallid, handsome face was eerily similar to my own.

"Oh, stop it, Jasper," Bella joked, giving the guy a shove. He was no more moved by her feeble gesture than I had been when she'd playfully punched me. _How many vampires are in this crazy town? _I wondered. In answer, an adorable, elfin counterpart to the soldier swirled up to us in massive Southern-belle hoop skirts. Her unnatural beauty matched Rosalie's, but her expression and thoughts were the opposite.

"Jasper, is that any way to treat our guests?" she said in exasperation. She pushed him away from me, and this time, it worked. She turned her sable eyes on me and gave me a huge grin. "YOU must be Edward. I'm so excited to meet you!" With that, she threw her arms around me in a bear hug that nearly knocked me backward. I was instantly reminded of Emmett's brute strength. "I'm Alice Cullen," she trilled. "I can't even tell you how thrilled I am to finally meet the guy who can give my flirty brother a run for his money."

I couldn't help but laugh and tell her I was glad to meet her in return. Her mind seemed to be filled with vague thoughts that I was already like a brother to her, and I felt nothing but warmth from her, even though her skin was the same temperature as mine. She introduced the Confederate as her boyfriend, Jasper Hale, and though he put on a courteous smile, he still secretly distrusted me completely.

"Bella!" Alice suddenly yelled, pointing at Bella's Converse sneakers. "WHAT happened to my platforms?"

Bella grinned sheepishly and told Alice they were in her truck. "I didn't want to kill myself in them, and it was only a matter of time."

Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes in exasperation. Then she leaned in and whispered, loud enough for my preternatural ears to hear, "And what happened to your lipstick?"

Bella looked alarmed. "What do you mean?" she asked guiltily.

"It's _gone_, that's what I mean." Alice gave me an arched eyebrow and a look out of the corner of her eye. I wiped my mouth involuntarily, wondering if I was still wearing any telltale signs of our little tryst in the truck.

"I'm sure it just came off all over my plastic cup, see?" Bella offered lamely, showing her the lipstick-stained glass.

"Mmm-hmmm," Alice answered skeptically.

"Well, Bella, looking a little worse for wear, I see," came a voice over my left shoulder. Rosalie Hale stood looking down her nose at my angel, and I was very tempted to strangle her with her own hair. "Edward doesn't seem to mind though," she added with a smirk.

"Some of us aren't impressed with superficial stuff like costumes and war paint," I told her quietly but firmly. I held my hand out to Bella. "Come on, you want to go for a walk? It feels a little crowded in here."

Bella bit her lip self-consciously, considering which of her vampire friends she wanted to displease the least. I felt almost angry at the ludicrous situation she'd unknowingly gotten herself into, trusting creatures who might snap at any moment and end her life. Somehow she didn't sense the danger staring her right in the face, me included. She took my hand and gave Alice an apologetic look as I pulled her away.

"Real nice, Rosalie," I heard Alice snipe as we walked out of the tent and onto the damp grass of the back yard. "I'm sorry about that, Bella," I told her, rubbing my thumb against the palm of her hand as we walked. I didn't want to let go of her hand, and she didn't seem to mind.

"It's not your fault!" she said. "Rosalie has never liked me, and I'm not sure why."

"She seems like the type who doesn't like anyone," I told her. "I wonder why Emmett puts up with her." We wandered toward the tree at the end of the lawn where the giant witch hung pendulously from one thick bough, and I found her likeness very similar to Rosalie's at that moment.

Bella thought otherwise. "Well, look at Rosalie, Edward. It's pretty obvious!"

"Exactly. 'Obvious' equals 'uninteresting' in my book. I like someone with a little more mystery. Someone more complex, who keeps me guessing," I said. I looked in her eyes as if willing her to reveal her thoughts to me, but per usual, I could discern nothing.

"That's funny…you'd think that having amnesia, you'd rather figure out who someone is. You know, have something or someone in your life that you're sure of," Bella said, stifling a yawn. I could see that the alcohol was starting to wear her down. "So why me, then?" she asked shyly. "There's nothing out of the ordinary about me." She stopped and looked down at her Converse sneakers. I gently lifted her chin with my hand until she looked into my eyes.

"You have integrity. You're not shallow. You make me think," I informed her. She regarded me for a long moment.

"That's so boring," she finally sighed. I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Okay, will it help if I tell you that you're the hottest girl at his party? In this town? That I've ever seen?" I said truthfully, though I was still amused.

"Well, considering you don't remember anyone before you came to Forks, that's not such a high compliment," she teased. Then her face grew serious. "No…really, everything you've said to me tonight is going to be imprinted on my brain forever, no matter what you think about my state of drunkerness…er, drunkenness." She scowled when I chuckled at her inebriated slip.

"That's it, no more punch for you," I commanded.

"Ugh, I don't want any more," she made a face. "Hey, you know what? I just realized we have something in common. We both have amnesia." She pointed to the telltale bandages. "I still don't remember a thing about what happened to me. I think those woods are cursed! First you, then me…we both got injured there."

"You're right," I said softly. "I guess fate was cruel to both of us. I'm just glad you don't remember the worst of it."

"I'm not sorry it turned out the way it did, though," she whispered. "I mean, I hate that you lost your family, and your life before. But I'm glad you're here now."

A wan smile flitted across my lips. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but being here with you right now is not one of them." Her green eyes and pink lips were beginning to blur in my vision as our faces drifted inexorably toward one another. I was about to give in and claim her lips in a kiss when I saw something flash by out of the corner of my eye, followed by a loud cracking noise overhead. I whipped my head up just in time to catch Emmett Cullen in the tree above us. Stunned, I watched him pull the huge, witch-festooned branch of the catalpa tree free from its massive trunk with his bare hands. The branch broke free easily with a sickening crunch and plummeted straight down over our heads, while Emmett jumped away and ran a few steps back to meet Jasper Hale, whose eyes burned with eagerness to see my reaction.

I had no time to do anything but push Bella roughly out of the way, then deflect the falling limb with my hands. I gave it a huge shove when it hit my arms, and it flew a good 50 feet away before crashing noisily to the ground. I was only sorry it hadn't hit the two grimacing vampires on its way down, and I glared at them in uncontained fury. Their mouths twisted in matching ugly, self-satisfied smiles, their minds triumphant that they'd finally made me reveal my true nature to them. I realized with surprise that they had thought I was going to attack Bella again, and they exulted in the idea that they had just saved her from me.

"You fucking idiots!" I exploded at them, incensed at their stupidity. "You could have killed her!" I rushed to Bella, who had fallen to the ground and was rubbing her head as she slowly sat up.

"What happened?" she asked woozily, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"The branch broke. I'm so sorry, Bella, I had to get you out of the way before it hit us. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" Her blood smelled especially pungent, and I looked her over for the telltale scrape. A twig or branch had apparently raked a scratch down her shin, and the blood beaded up in a horribly delectable trail on her pale skin. I ignored the burning in my mouth and pulled her to me, smoothing her hair and telling her everything would be all right.

I heard a noise behind me, and whirled to see Emmett and Jasper dragging the branch back under the tree at vampire speed, even as several of the human teens began to look to see what had made such a ruckus. Of course; it had to appear as if the branch had fallen of its own accord and landed directly underneath the majestic catalpa. I shot them a venomous glare. Emmett looked confused, and Jasper looked…ravenous.

I barely had time to think as he rushed me, his nostrils flaring, his eyes fixated on the thin stream of blood that oozed from Bella's scrape. I flung him away with my arm, a guttural growl rising from deep within me. I felt Bella's hand grip my arm tightly, and I turned to see her staring at me with fear in her eyes, a sight I'd hoped to never endure again after that first night.

I sensed Jasper lunging at me again, but this time Emmett grabbed him and held him back as he snarled and bucked against Emmett's superior strength. Rosalie and Alice were now running across the lawn toward us at a human pace, since the teenagers had begun to follow them.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice called as she rushed up to us, crouching down and checking on her human friend. Bella nodded and pointed to her leg, saying that she'd probably need some band-aids. "Story of my life," she winced, missing Alice's momentary bewitchment at the blood scent that fogged the air. Alice closed her eyes and stood up, facing her brother and boyfriend.

"You had to go and test him, didn't you?" she whispered angrily in a high, odd register. I quickly realized that she was speaking in a tone that humans likely couldn't decipher. "When are you going to trust my visions? I told you he's no threat!"

"I do trust you," Jasper insisted in the same timbre. "But you didn't see him. He was about to do it again!"

The four vampires turned and looked at me. I shook my head incredulously, not sure if I could speak in the tone that would escape human ears. "You're all crazy," I muttered, turning back to Bella. "I'm getting her out of here." I scooped her up easily in my arms and headed for the front of the house. Emmett blocked my way.

"Our dad will take a look at her," he insisted, giving me a dark look. Outnumbered, I nodded and conceded, "Fine. But I'm staying with her."

I was glad for Bella's alcohol-induced grogginess as her head fell against my chest, her eyes closing. I desperately hoped she wouldn't remember this part of the evening. If she did, I had no idea how I'd ever explain myself. I hated the fact that again I was forced to wish for the double-edged sword of amnesia to fall and obliterate my dark secrets.

A crowd of kids surrounded us as we made our way to the house, Mike Newton chief among them, trying to get to Bella and looking more concerned than the rest. The Cullens assured everyone that she was fine, and that unbeknownst to them, the catalpa tree had apparently been rotten. The weight of the witch figure hanging on it had made the bad branch snap like a twig, they guessed. I ground my teeth together to keep from interjecting. After all, the lie was as much mine as theirs. As much as I hated it, we were all in this together.

I followed the Cullens and Hales into the modern, spacious residence. Alice raced ahead to alert Dr. Cullen, who had apparently just arrived home from dinner with his wife, or so they told the humans who peered in the door after us. I set Bella down on the nearest couch, and she blinked at me sleepily.

"I'm so tired, Edward," she yawned, her head drooping toward mine as I kneeled next to her. Her hand was warm on my shoulder, and it seemed she didn't want to let go of me. I gently held the side of her face, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

"It's the alcohol, Bella," I whispered. "Don't worry, we'll get you plenty of water and some aspirin." I glanced over at the three pairs of vampire eyes staring at me in confusion. "You realize somebody spiked the punch, right?" I asked them, staring balefully at Emmett. "You've got a bunch of drunk teenagers on your hands here. Or was that part of your plan?" I gave them a knowing look. Their minds told me they comprehended me perfectly, and they seemed outraged.

"Is that true, Emmett?" a stern voice shot out from across the room. I looked up to see the approach of what had to be another vampire, with his perfectly pale and young-looking visage. He was carrying a small doctor's bag, which he opened on the coffee table as he kneeled on the other side of Bella. He glanced at me in surprise. Evidently these vampires at been at it a lot longer than I had, because he comprehended my true nature instantly.

"I don't know, Carlisle. I've been trying to keep an eye on the guests, but I'm sure one of those jackass guys out there might have dumped a bottle of booze in there when I wasn't looking," Emmett said a bit sheepishly.

"Hi Dr. Cullen," Bella slurred. "I managed to hurt myself again. I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly, it's not your fault," Dr. Cullen smiled warmly at Bella as he wiped the blood off her leg with a gauze pad. My mouth watered painfully, and I felt the same reaction from Emmett, Rosalie and especially Jasper, whose eyes were half-wild with thirst. Alice, who had followed Dr. Cullen back to the great room, put her arms around her boyfriend and gave him a meaningful look, her thoughts willing him to control himself. I realized with a start that not only had I stumbled upon an entire coven of vampires here in Forks, I had actually found others who had chosen not to live as

parasites. Each one of their minds belied their struggle to ignore the intoxicating scent of Bella's blood as Carlisle Cullen gently wiped it from Bella's pale shin. He applied some antiseptic and covered the wound with thick white gauze bandages.

"Thanks, Dr. Cullen. You're always coming to my rescue. You and Edward," Bella sighed. She gazed at me with beautiful but bleary eyes. I crooked the corner of my mouth in a smile for her, though I could scarcely accept such an erroneous compliment coming from her lips. She missed Emmett's snort of derision as he stood, cross-armed, a few feet away. He couldn't wait to get me alone to confront me. As it was, I was more than ready to have some words with him.

Dr. Cullen's wife Esme appeared at the bottom of the staircase across the room, announcing that she'd made a bed for Bella, and that she could stay the night with the Cullens. I eyed her warily, but her thoughts belied nothing but genuine concern for my angel. Bella squeezed my hand before getting up and limping after Esme.

"Will I see you soon?" she asked me before she left.

"Of course. I'll call you," I promised, cringing at how lame the words sounded. I squeezed her hand back, as firmly as I dared, and gave her a look that I hoped would tell her what I couldn't say in front of our vampire audience. She nodded and smiled a little, then disappeared with Esme to the second floor.

"All right, Eddie. It's way past time for some answers." Emmett stood in front me, hands on hips, shooting daggers through me with his eyes.

I glared back at him from under rigid brows. "What kind of answers do you want?"

"Come on, man," Jasper interjected. "We know you were the one who attacked Bella. What the hell are you doing trying to get close to her now? Did you think you'd play with your prey for awhile before you finish her off for good?"

I could barely contain my anger, my voice shaking with rage as I answered him. "I would never, ever hurt Bella. I'd let you all tear me to pieces before I would ever lay a hand on her."

"It's not your hands we're worried about," Emmett said.

Alice came closer, looking up at me with plaintive eyes. "We know you did it," she said softly. "I saw it. I just didn't see it in enough time to stop it from happening."

I gave her an incredulous stare. "What do you mean, you saw it?" I knew no one had been witness to what I had done. I would have seen Alice, felt her presence, heard her brain accusing me. But in her head, I saw a hazy picture of myself bent over Bella's body, inflicting the damage that nearly killed her. I flinched at the sight through her mind's eye.

"Alice sees things," Carlisle Cullen explained quietly, regarding me carefully with his sky-blue eyes. "She has visions. Premonitions, if you will. She's rarely wrong. When I saw Bella's wounds, I knew what kind of creature had made them. It was only a matter of time before we found you."

Unease filled me as I sifted through their thoughts. Emmett and Jasper were considering taking my suggestion and ripping me apart with their bare hands. Rosalie seemed mostly indifferent, and was wondering when she could be alone with Emmett so they could….I shut that thought off and turned to Alice, who was entertaining some strange vision of me playing the piano, with a smiling Bella sitting next to me. If that was a premonition, it was a welcome one. Carlisle was merely curious, wondering the who and why of my existence.

I sighed in defeat. "Okay. I admit it. I was the one who attacked Bella," I whispered hoarsely, my voice a mere crumb as I uttered the dreaded words. "It was the worst day of my life. I could barely stop myself before I killed her. I'm just glad that I managed to get a grip on myself in time. And I'm grateful to you, Dr. Cullen, for saving her."

The vampires all stared at me, dumbstruck. None of them could believe I had the will to stop. They wondered how on earth I did it.

"I don't know how I did it," I told them. "I just looked down at her, covered in blood, and when I realized what I had done, I was completely horrified. Then the cops came, and I ran."

Their eyes bugged even more now that I'd answered questions they had never spoken aloud. _How did you do that? _was their prevailing thought.

"What do you mean, how did I do that? Stop myself from killing her, or read your minds?" I asked them in exasperation.

They let out a collective gasp, eyes round as saucers. Then a huge smile broke over Alice's face. "Of course. Of course!" she said excitedly. "I knew there was something special about you, something unique that you would bring to us. I could never quite get a handle on it, or on you. You read minds? That's incredible! My God, you'll always be one step ahead of us. Well, everyone except me, of course," she grinned.

"Something I'd 'bring to you?'" I asked her. "What is this crazy idea you have that I'm going to become part of your weird little coven? Your brother here put Bella's life at risk just to prove a point," I growled. I turned to Emmett. "You could have just asked me, you know. I knew you wanted to."

"I never would have let anything happen to Bella. It was the perfect way to get you to show yourself. And if I'd been wrong, I would have caught the branch before it ever hit her. Shit, Edward, if you knew what I was thinking this whole time, why the hell didn't you just come out with the truth?" Emmett asked in frustration.

"Because I wasn't sure what you wanted from me," I told him warily. "I wasn't even absolutely sure that you were…the same as me. I just figured out what I am a few weeks ago. It's been a lot to process. I wasn't ready to just come out with this insanity, in case I was wrong about you."

The vampires all looked a bit baffled. Dr. Cullen turned to me and asked, "Are you saying you didn't know you were a vampire? Where was your maker?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I don't know who did this to me, or how, or even when." I went on to tell him, and the others, the full tale of my experiences, and how I had discovered my peculiar talents, and the weakness of my thirst, in that long and fateful day. "There's one thing you have to believe, and that's how sorry I am that Bella stumbled upon me at the worst possible time. I had no idea what I was about to do to her. I've never been so horrified with myself, before or since. Well, that I can remember," I conceded.

Carlisle gave me a sympathetic look. "It's a miracle that you stopped yourself from killing her. Few vampires can do such a thing, let alone a newborn. You have incredible strength of character, son," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. Though he wasn't old enough to be my father, this was the first time I'd felt something akin to a familial bond that I could remember, and I was surprised at how grateful I was for his empathy.

Alice drew close to me and grabbed my hand in hers. It felt comfortable instead of fiery hot, like human skin felt to me. "Oh, Edward," she sighed softly. "I don't remember how I got this way, either. Our makers were cowards. They left us to wander alone and confused, to become murderers. If I hadn't had a vision of meeting the Cullens, I would have become a savage, I'm sure of it."

I gave her a perplexed look. "You mean, you aren't really related to Carlisle?"

Carlisle smiled and gave my shoulder a pat before removing his hand. "None of us are blood relations. We're a family brought together by our beliefs, our purpose. We're all determined to live as normally as possible, and to spare human life. There aren't many vampires with consciences, you'll find," he told me.

I shook my head in bewilderment. "I didn't know there were any other vampires, period, until I came across Emmett in the bar," I said, looking at the big guy, whose malevolent thoughts toward me had done a 180. "And even then I wasn't absolutely sure. I feel like all my instincts are suspect. Like I'm still figuring out who and what I am. I had no idea there were others of our kind freely roaming among humans. I was shocked. I guess I was afraid to come out in the open with my questions," I admitted to him.

Emmett gave me an easy grin and chucked me on the shoulder. "It's okay, man. I liked you right away, but when Alice figured out that you had to be the one who nearly killed Bella, I wanted to find out more about you before we decided to confront you. You didn't seem like the usual nomad vamp who comes around here making trouble for us. But I couldn't figure out what your agenda was. I had to convince Jasper to wait before we ripped you to shreds."

I glanced at brooding Jasper and let out a small laugh. "I don't have an agenda. Just to survive, and not kill anyone. And I admit, I feel incredibly protective of Bella. I don't think I can ever do enough to make it up to her. But I feel like that's my job. It's the least I can do." I wondered if my true feelings for her were seeping out around the edges of my stoic statement.

A surprisingly easy smile spread across Jasper's face. "You spared her life…that's pretty amazing, given your true nature. _Our_ true nature. I'm the newest member of the Cullen clan," he went on. "It's still incredibly difficult for me to resist human blood. I feel like I have to work so hard at maintaining this lifestyle, but I'm determined to do it, because I've lived the other way, and it leads to nothing but paranoia and misery. I wasn't about to let some rogue vampire come along and mess up this new life I have," he explained.

"Well, no worries there," I assured him. "I've felt the same way from the moment I hurt Bella. I'm the last person to give away your secrets, or inflict any more damage than I already have. Like I said, I'm grateful to all you've done for Bella," I reiterated, turning to Dr. Cullen. "If she had died, I'm not sure what I would have done. I might have gone down a very dark path."

Alice squeezed my hand and smiled at me brightly. "No, you wouldn't," she said confidently. "You're going to be very happy. You and Bella. Trust me." I saw a faint image in her mind of Bella and I, hand in hand, looking blissful.

I couldn't help but smile back. "I don't see how that's possible, but I like the idea," I admitted.

"So Edward," Carlisle addressed me, "where have you been staying at night? Just wandering the town, or the forest?"

I shrugged and listed a few of the places I'd been sneaking into overnight.

"Well, if you get tired of looking for distractions, you're welcome to stay with us," Carlisle offered. "We have plenty of rooms here, and a library full of books and movies. We know how long the sleepless nights can be." He smiled at his "children," and they all returned his easy grin, though Rosalie secretly added that she'd give up her room to the new guy over her undead body.

Before I could answer, I looked up to see Esme Cullen descending the stairs, her face grim. "How is Bella?" I asked her anxiously.

"Well, she's a little better now that she threw up. Twice." She gave us all a warning look. " She's asleep now. I don't care how the alcohol got served at this party, but I expect you to make sure all those children get home safely to their parents." She gestured to the noisy throng outside. "It's late. I suggest you find out which ones have been drinking, and start taking them home in shifts." She turned to me. "Edward, would you stay a moment? I'd like to have a word with you."

The four younger vampires nodded silently and headed outside to dispatch their guests safely home. Esme asked Carlisle and I to fill her in on what had happened, and she smiled warmly at me when we were finished. "Sit down, would you?" she suggested, seating herself on the couch and motioning to me to do the same. I joined her and looked over at her cautiously.

"I'm relieved to hear that you're not the threat I thought you might be," she told me. "Not just for our sake, but for Bella's, too. She thinks very highly of you, do you realize that?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, Mrs. Cullen, I don't know if I would go that far. She doesn't really know me that well."

"I'm sure she doesn't," Esme agreed, cocking one eyebrow. "She's been singing your praises to me for the past fifteen minutes. She seems to think you're her hero, always coming to her rescue. Of course she doesn't know that you're the cause of most of her troubles in the first place."

I hung my head in shame. "I know that," I whispered. "But I can't tell her the truth. It would give me away…it would give all of us away. And wouldn't it be better to spare her such horrible memories?"

"Better for her, or for you?" she asked pointedly. Then she seemed to relent a little, sighing thoughtfully. "I agree that it's best for everyone if the past stays there. But I worry about what will happen if she does remember. It's not a good idea for you to become any closer to her, Edward. It can only lead to heartache for the both of you. I don't want to see you hurt her any more than you already have."

An ache throbbed in my chest at her words. "I know you're right," I admitted quietly. "I've tried to stay away. I do want what's best for her, you have to know that. But it's hard. She's the only thing that's mattered to me since that night. She's different from anyone else I've encountered. She's special. Her blood sings to me like no one else's, and it's torture to be near her…but it's worse NOT being near her. I can't explain it." I realized how pathetic that sounded, but I didn't know how to articulate what Bella meant to me.

Esme and Carlisle both looked a bit shocked. "She's your 'singer?'" Carlisle mused_. "La tua cantante. _No wonder you are drawn to her. It happens to every vampire at one time or another…the scent of a particular human is so irresistible that it's maddening. Bella is this for you, and yet you still managed to spare her life. You have no idea how extraordinary you are, Edward. And on top of it you can read our thoughts?" He shook his head in amazement. "You are a force to be reckoned with. I don't think you even realize it."

I didn't know what to say. My mind was spinning with all that had happened this evening. I had finally found other vampires, and not only did they have the same unlikely life-sparing philosophy I did, they were telling me that I had special gifts that they did not, save for Alice's clairvoyance.

Esme gently touched my arm. "I heard my husband offer to let you stay here for awhile, and I just want to extend the same invitation. It would be nice to have some new company to talk to. You're more than welcome."

The offer was tempting, especially considering that Bella was safely ensconced upstairs. "Thank you, I appreciate it," I told her. "But I'm kind of overwhelmed here. I think I'd like to be alone for awhile… to kind of digest everything, if that's okay." I felt like I was asking my parents for permission to go out for the evening. It was odd, considering I'd just met them.

"Of course," Esme smiled, giving me a brief hug. "Please think about what I said, Edward. And don't hesitate to come to us for help with anything. You must have a million questions about what's happened to you. We'll help you if we can."

I nodded and thanked her and Carlisle again. I glanced toward the upstairs bedrooms, and the Cullens silently assured me that Bella would be safe with them. I looked at their faces and knew that it was true.

I left the house and made my way through the sulking teenagers who were being herded into the numerous Cullen vehicles that were parked inside and outside the 3-car garage. It seemed they all had their own cars, each flashier than the last. I wondered where they got their money, which was clearly more than Dr. Cullen's small-town doctor's salary. I might have to take the Cullens up on their offer to answer some of my questions about how to live this new life.

But for now, I retreated to the tiny cabin in the woods. I lay on the rickety cot, staring up at the wooden slats in the ceiling for hours, replaying the events of the evening and considering Esme's admonitions. I knew she was right. I knew what I should do. But how on earth could I stay away from Bella Swan?


	7. Lessons

_Bella_

"_I don't want to go back to the party."_

_I looked pleadingly up into Edward Masen's dark blue eyes, grabbing the front of his red and black flannel shirt between fumbling fingers, trying to pull him closer. He was immovable as a statue. I scooted closer to him, pushing my leg between his, and pressing my groin against the bulge in his pants. He groaned softly and uttered my name. The sound of it hovered somewhere between a curse and a prayer. _

"_Please, Edward," I begged, reaching one hand up to touch the side of his face. His skin was cold, smooth marble under my hand. He wasn't human, and I didn't care. Whatever he was, I wanted him. Wanted him like I'd never wanted anything or anyone in my life. The smell and feel of him made me so high that I was sure the alcohol I'd drunk was innocuous by comparison._

_He relented with a sigh, his breath blowing over me like a cool autumn breeze. He leaned in the open door of my truck, bending over me and pulling me to him as his mouth closed over mine. The kiss was mind-blowing, spectacular, like a 4__th__ of July fireworks display going off in my head. My fingers lost all sense of direction in the thick clouds of his hair, and my legs gripped his stone form as if he were the only thing keeping me from floating out of my body and into the heavens._

_His hands roamed all over me, leaving delicious, icy tingles in their wake. I tugged impatiently at his shirt, sliding my hands underneath and exploring the taut muscles of his back. His breath was noisy on my neck as he rained kisses all over my face, down my jaw and over my collarbone. My roving fingers traveled up the gentle ripples of his abdomen and over the smooth planes of his chest, my thumbs rubbing his nipples in circles. His moan of pleasure in my ear reverberated down my spine and warmth gathered between my legs as I pressed myself against him._

"_Bella," he whispered, as his impossibly long fingers pushed their way under my dress and up my thigh. His thumb pressed into the hollow of my hip, near my groin, and I gasped sharply, my hips jerking up to meet the erection straining against his jeans. "I want you, Bella," he murmured, his hand continuing its ascent over my quivering abdomen and up to the thin fabric of my bra, stroking my nipple into a hard knot as I whimpered pitifully with desire. "You're mine, Bella, and I'm yours. No one can change that." He kissed me deeply, hungrily. My name continued to escape his lips, over and over, the sweetest music I'd ever heard. "Bella…my Bella…are you okay? Wake up, Bella…can you hear me?"_

_His voice changed, becoming more shrill and high-pitched. It hurt my ears, and I cringed. My head began to pound. "Edward?" I asked in confusion. "What's happening? My head…my head hurts so bad."_

"_Bella…it's the booze…Bella…_BELLA!"

My eyes snapped open to find Alice Cullen's concerned face mere inches away as she urgently hollered my name. I cringed again and my head fell back to the pillow with a thud. "Geezus, you scared me," I grunted, realizing with grave disappointment that my incredible make-out session with Edward Masen had only been a dream.

"_I_ scared _you_? Crap, Bella, you were moaning so loudly that I thought you were going to be sick again. I even brought the barf bucket with me, see?" she declared, shoving a yellow plastic pan in my face. I groaned and turned away, a wave of nausea overtaking me at the sight of it. I was pretty sure I'd used it a couple of times during the night, and had vague recollections of Alice holding my hair back while I vomited over the side of the bed.

"Please, Alice, put that thing away," I pleaded. "Just looking at it makes me ill."

"I've never seen anyone hurl so much in one evening," Alice informed me. "I didn't know it was possible. Esme went to get you some juice and some aspirin. And toast, too. You need to try to keep something down before we can send you back to Charlie."

"Oh God," I groaned. "I can't even think about food. And going home? Oh God, no…."

Alice let out a small giggle. "Honestly, Bella, you'll be fine. It's early. You can sleep some more. But please try to eat something first, okay? For my mom. She'll be very hurt if you don't."

I buried my head under the covers and moaned some more. I heard Esme's voice in the doorway not long after, and sure enough, I peeked out to see her carrying a tray of apparent hangover cures: my choice of water, soda or juice; some buttered toast, a bottle of vitamins and a bottle of aspirin. I thanked her as sincerely as I could, then choked down a few bites while she and Alice smiled expectantly at me.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you under our roof," Esme apologized to me. "I thought my kids were more responsible than to let drugs or alcohol run rampant at a Cullen party." She made it sound as if they had somehow besmirched the family name with their irresponsibility. Alice displayed a hang-dog expression as her mother assured me that it would never happen again.

"It's my own fault, Mrs. Cullen," I admitted, wanting to take the blame off of Alice. "I knew the punch was spiked and I kept on drinking it. A lot of it. I never really drank before last night." My stomach roiled slightly and I took a generous swig of the clear soda. I tried to muffle the belch that followed, but it did make me feel better. Alice giggled and then stopped abruptly at Esme's stern look.

"Well, the fact remains that my children weren't paying close enough attention to what was going on," Esme insisted. "Their father and I would have been responsible if anything had happened to any of you kids on our property. I'm still appalled that you were almost hit by a broken tree branch! We'll be lucky if your father lets you come visit Alice again." Alice frowned in response.

"Broken tree branch?" I asked, trying to recall what she was talking about. I had a vague memory of Edward bending over me, and scooping me up in his impossibly strong arms to carry me to the house. But not much else registered about the end of the evening.

"Yeah, that stuffed witch we had hanging from the catalpa tree snapped the branch right off," Alice said guiltily, as if it had somehow been her fault. "It nearly fell on you and Edward. You got a little scratch on your leg, but Carlisle cleaned it up for you."

I looked under the blankets to see the gauze taped to my shin. "Well, that's not surprising," I sighed. "Don't worry, my dad is used to me doing klutzy things. This won't be enough for him to forbid me from coming back here."

Esme smoothed my hair back and gave me a half-smile. "Well, I'm just sorry anything happened to you while you were here. I've already called your father, last night and again this morning, to assure him you're okay. I told him you wanted to stay late and help Alice clean up after the party last night, so he doesn't expect you back too early. You're welcome to stay here until you feel better."

So Esme told my dad a little white lie to save my behind. "That was above and beyond," I sheepishly told her. "Thanks. I'm sorry you had to lie for me. I'm the one who drank too much; I should have to own up to it."

"Well, I'll leave that between you and your dad, okay?" she said, patting my hair before rising and excusing herself from the room.

"Your mom is so cool," I sighed in relief to Alice. "I can't believe she did that for me."

"Yeah, she's pretty awesome," Alice smiled. "I think it's because she's so young. Best foster mom ever!" Then Alice's eyes widened with rabid curiosity. She leaned in and whispered excitedly, "So tell me what happened between you and Edward Masen!"

I looked at her in confusion. "Uh….what do you mean, exactly?"

"Oh, come on! You couldn't keep your eyes off each other all night! The two of you disappeared for awhile, and then you came back wearing different shoes, with your make-up half-eaten off your face! Spill, immediately!"

I gaped at her blankly as I processed her words. The dream I'd just had began playing in my head….Edward kissing me, pulling me closer…me, clinging to him, pushing my body against his…was it real? I tried hard to think. It certainly felt real in the dream. The images in my head were vivid, but I couldn't seem to separate the dream from reality. What, exactly, _had_ happened?

"Crap," I sighed dejectedly. "I'm not sure. The alcohol gave me brain fog. I think maybe he took me to my car…so I could change my shoes. Yeah, that's it!" I was relieved to remember him carrying me through the spooky tunnel. And then, the shocking sensation of his hand on the back of my legs as he removed my shoes. It _was_ real. Edward touching me…Edward putting my sneakers on me, one at a time. I suddenly remembered how mesmerized I was by his eyes, his voice, the curve of his lips as he asked me if I felt free. Oh, God…it had really happened. He had kissed me. Or, more to the point, I had kissed him. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I realized how forward I had been.

"What, _wha-a-at_?" Alice demanded, trying to read my expression. "Tell me what happened!"

"Oh, no. I think I threw myself at him," I wailed, slapping my hand to my forehead. "My memory is pretty blurry…but, I think…I kissed him."

Alice squealed and clapped her hands together. "That's classic! Don't be embarrassed, Bella. Trust me, he loved it. He loves _you_. I mean seriously. The boy has it bad. I watched you two from afar all night. The way he looks at you…so jealous, so protective. If you really did make the first move, he was probably in heaven. Guys love that stuff!"

"You think so?" I asked weakly, still feeling mortified. How would I face him again? I could picture the smug, self-satisfied look he might give me the next time we met. I pulled the bed sheet up over my head.

"I know so," Alice insisted, yanking the sheet out of my hands. "I have a good feeling about you two. I'm not sure how it's all going to work out…but I know it will," she beamed.

"Yeah, well, you're an optimist, Alice," I observed. "You always expect the best. I wish I could be more like you. I expect the worst, and then I'm pleasantly surprised when it doesn't happen."

"Oh, Bella," Alice laughed, grabbing me in a quick hug. "You've got to have more faith in fate. Things have a way of working themselves out. You'll see."

I shrugged dubiously and tried to swallow a few more bites of toast, washing them down with the soda and an aspirin chaser. I told Alice I needed to sleep a bit more, and she left me to burrow back under the covers awhile longer. I tried to remember the details of the night before, but the evening was still hazy. I nodded off and was disappointed that I had no more dreams about Edward. When I awoke later, I was feeling well enough to get dressed and head back home to Charlie's. I thanked the Cullens profusely for all they'd done for me, and then spent the drive home trying to figure out whether or not I would tell Charlie the truth about last night. I decided I would play it by ear.

It turned out I had worried for nothing. Charlie had decided to go fishing with Harry Clearwater, and left me a note saying he'd return later in the day. Relieved, I spent the afternoon trying to concentrate on homework in between daydreaming about Edward Masen. Bits and pieces of the evening kept coming back to me, but I wished I had a clearer picture of exactly what had happened. Ironically, I recalled Edward telling me about having no memory, and I was surprised that he seemed so okay with just picking up and starting over. I would have been trying to contact every living relative I had in order to piece my life back together. But maybe there were things he wasn't telling me---things about his life that were too painful to remember. Maybe his amnesia was a comfort, somehow, like mine was.

I still couldn't believe that out of all the girls at the party who flirted with him, he chose to spend the evening with me. Maybe Alice was right. Maybe he really did have a thing for me. She was exaggerating, Alice-style, when she claimed that he _loved_ me. I wasn't that deluded. But he was so attentive, and if my memory was true, not just confused with dreams, he had kissed me like no boy had ever kissed me before. I squirmed in my chair just thinking about how amazing he felt. The evening had been surprisingly comfortable for October in Washington, yet his skin was cold to the touch, like he'd spent the whole day outdoors in cold weather. His warm flannel shirt didn't keep his hands from giving me goose bumps with every touch. But they were the kind of delicious shivers that you got when someone whispered right into your ear, or grazed your arm lightly with their fingers and made all the hairs stand on end. I imagined Edward doing those things and goose flesh rose all over me at the mere thought.

My reverie was interrupted by the phone ringing. I thought it might be Charlie calling to check on me, but was shocked to hear none other than Edward Masen's silken baritone over the receiver.

"Bella, is that you?" he asked. My heart raced at the sound of his voice.

"Yes, it's me. Hi, Edward," I said. No one else sounded like him.

"So you're alive," he chuckled gently. "I was a little worried after the way you were hitting the punch bowl last night. How do you feel?"

I gave a small laugh. "I'm recovering. I slept all morning at the Cullens.' I lucked out that Dad is fishing today, so I'm just kind of chilling here. How about you?"

"I'm fine," he replied evenly. "I have to go to work in a few minutes. I just wanted to make sure you were okay today. How's your leg?"

"It's all right. It was just a scratch. It's so weird, I don't remember much about that whole tree branch falling. Did it really just miss us?" I asked him worriedly.

He let out what sounded like a sigh of relief. "Yeah, it did. We were pretty lucky. I'm sorry that branch caught you on the way down, though. So…exactly how much do you remember about last night?" he asked cautiously.

I was glad he wasn't in the room to see me blush. "Well, a lot of it is kind of fuzzy," I admitted. "I remember I had fun though. There was kind of a nice moment in my truck, as I recall." My face felt like it was on fire.

He laughed and it sounded husky and delicious, like warm buttered toast. "That was pretty much the highlight of my evening. I was hoping you'd remember it," he said, and a thrill radiated through my chest.

"I think it would be pretty impossible to forget," I whispered. _Let's do it again sometime_, my pathetic brain suggested.

"I feel the same way," Edward said quietly, then paused a moment. "I wish I could talk longer, but I really have to get going. I'm glad you're okay."

"Well, thanks for calling to check on me. I'm fine, really," I assured him.

"Good. So…I'll talk to you later," he said noncommittally. My heart sank.

"Sure," I said lamely. We said our good-byes, and I heard the crushing click of the receiver going dead.

_What was that about? _I wondered in confusion. He made the effort to call, told me in not so many words that kissing me was the highlight of his night, but then never asked when we could get together for a repeat performance. _I will never understand men as long as I live, _I thought in frustration. I attacked the rest of my homework with a vengeance and pushed all thoughts of Edward Masen's irresistible, if freakishly cold, pink lips out of my head.

Charlie returned home not long after Edward called, and he was a welcome distraction. He and Harry had caught some big sea bass, and I helped him clean the fish and get them ready for dinner while he regaled me with stories about the trip. I decided not to fill him in on my stupid behavior the night before, not because I was afraid to take the punishment I deserved, but because I didn't want to get the Cullens in trouble. Dad could easily arrest them for allowing minors to drink on their property, and for all I knew, the police station may have been fielding calls today from angry parents. I didn't want to add any fuel to the fire. It wasn't the Cullens' fault that Tyler had brought a bottle of rum to the party, and it certainly wasn't their fault that I had loaded up on the stuff because I was so self-conscious in Rosalie's form-fitting costume. I couldn't regret wearing it, though, because the reactions I got from boys were a first for me. Though I doubted I'd ever feel comfortable being the center of all that male attention, I definitely could get used to being the center of Edward Masen's attention. His penetrating gaze left me feeling stripped bare and vulnerable, and yet I felt inexplicably safe with him at the same time. The profound effect he had on me both unnerved and excited me. I didn't know what I would do if he never called me again.

Unfortunately, he gave me the chance to find out. The entire week passed without another word from Edward. School dragged painfully as I daydreamed fruitlessly about him in between dull lecture classes and mindless chit-chat with my friends. I didn't even have his phone number, though I wasn't the type to pursue a boy unless I was pretty sure he liked me. If I had ever been convinced of Edward's interest, that conviction had dwindled to a crumb by the end of the week. Even Alice didn't have any news for me, though she'd attempted to pick her brother's brain for information several times. She tried to assure me that the bar had been really busy lately, and reminded me that Edward went to work every day just when I was getting out of school. I was half-hoping that she'd suggest going to Jake's Place some time to hang out with Emmett, but it turned out her family was going on a camping trip and would be gone the entire weekend.

By Friday's lunch hour, I had resigned myself to a depressing weekend of homework, TV, or, worse yet, shopping with Jessica. She was hell-bent on finding a new dress for next weekend's Winter Formal even though she didn't technically have a date yet. She was sure that Mike had been about to ask her at least five times in the past two weeks, but she had yet to receive an invitation. I was afraid to tell her about the numerous hints he'd been dropping to me about the dance. I had no desire to go with Mike nor to make Jessica jealous. I tried to steer Mike in her direction, but he seemed oblivious to my maneuvers. I was truly amazed at how dense boys could be sometimes.

I took a bite out of the apple from my lunch tray, my mind straying from my friends' conversation and wandering to what it would be like if I could take Edward to the FHS Winter Formal. I couldn't picture his glorious, statuesque form in the dingy gym, although as part of the dance committee that Jess had signed me up for, it was my duty to try to beautify it for the occasion. Jess, Angela, Lauren and I already had plans to stay after school next Friday to disguise its dull interior under massive crepe paper snowballs, streamers, sparkling snowflakes and other winter-themed décor.

"So, Bella, are you in?" Mike Newton's voice interrupted my train of thought.

"In on what?" I asked, embarrassed.

"Earth to Bella," Jessica joked, nudging me. "Daydream much?"

Mike ignored her jabs and said, "We're all going to Jake's Place tonight for some darts and pool. You wanna come?" he asked expectantly.

I straightened in my chair at the mention of Jake's, then tried to look casual. "Sure," I agreed. "What time?"

"About 7 o'clock. I can give you a ride," Angela offered. I thanked her and told her I'd take her up on it.

I spent the afternoon on a euphoric but nervous cloud of anticipation. I hoped Edward would be working, and I hoped that he would be happy to see me. Maybe Alice was right, and a week without a phone call meant nothing in "boy time." Yet I couldn't help but feel like something had gone wrong. Maybe I had only imagined Edward kissing me so intensely last Saturday night, and my "beer goggles" were making me remember things the way I wanted to instead of the way they really happened. Maybe he had only called me Sunday because it was the polite thing to do, especially after I had clumsily scraped up my leg and nearly fallen down drunk in Alice's shoes. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a fool I must have made of myself. No wonder Edward hadn't called again.

I tried to keep my worries at bay as I dressed for the evening, changing my shirt three times before giving up and settling on a long, form-fitting ivory sweater and my ubiquitous jeans. No matter what I decided to wear, there were sure to be hotter girls than me vying for Edward's attention tonight. Either he liked me or he didn't. There wasn't much I could do about it, and I certainly wasn't going to borrow any more style cues from Alice and Rosalie to try to make an impression that I couldn't live up to anyway.

I left a contented Charlie with a six-pack of Reinier beer and a football game on the big-screen TV, promising him that Angela would have me back home before midnight. He seemed happy that I had made friends in Forks and waved me away with little concern, patting his cell phone in his pocket and advising me to give him a call if I needed a ride home.

"Guess what?" Angela asked me excitedly as soon as I settled in the passenger seat of her VW. "Eric asked me to Formal! I was beginning to think he'd never get up the nerve to do it. Just when I was trying to get the courage to call him and ask him myself, the phone rang and it was him. He said he didn't want to ask me in front of everyone tonight and embarrass me, or himself, in case I said 'no.' Isn't that cute? I'm so relieved!" she said with an exaggerated sigh.

I laughed at her run-on speech and told her, "That's great, Angela! I knew he liked you, I could tell. I told you he would have said 'yes' if you had asked him."

"I know, I know," she smiled, "but I just wasn't as sure as you were. Sometimes you can't see your own situation objectively, you know? I couldn't have taken the rejection if I had been wrong."

"Well, now you know what guys go through," I said. "No wonder they get so nervous and tongue-tied about asking us out." I tried to imagine Edward Masen nervous and tongue-tied. He seemed above the usual teenaged angst, but maybe it was just a cool façade. Maybe inside he was as insecure as the next guy.

I tried to remind myself of that as we met Mike, Eric, Tyler and Jessica in the parking lot of Jake's and headed for the front door. My stomach did flip-flops as I followed the boys inside, half-hiding between Angela and Jess in an effort to look less obvious than I felt. I glanced in the direction of the bar, and was gob-smacked by the vision of Edward filling a pitcher from one of the taps. Every time I saw him, I was stunned senseless by his poetic good looks. As if he could read my mind, he looked up and found me instantly, staring right through my circle of friends as if they weren't there. His intense gaze made every nerve in my body dance on the head of a needle, and I looked away self-consciously as the pin-pricks coursed through me head to toe.

The boys found a table near the arcade games and claimed their chairs, leaving us girls to sit squarely facing the bar across the room. I groaned inwardly as I sat down and removed my coat, while Angela asked us all if we wanted to share a pitcher of sodas. I glanced apprehensively at Edward and found his stormy eyes continuing to bore holes through me. His expression held no hint of a smile. In fact, he looked almost… perturbed. Was he unhappy that I'd shown up where he worked? Hadn't he told me that I was welcome to come see him any time? My cheeks stung in mild humiliation and I buried my face in my purse, happy to have the distraction of digging for some money to give Angela.

"Oh my God, that hot guy, Edward, is bartending!" Jessica exclaimed, her eyes brightening at the sight of him. "Did you know he worked here, Bella?"

"Yeah, I think Emmett Cullen got him the job," I replied quietly.

"Really? So, he's friends with the Cullens, huh? I guess that's why he was at the party last week then," Jess said. "I thought maybe it was because you had told him you would be there."

I looked at her in consternation. She was clearly pleased at the idea that Edward might not be as interested in me as she had originally thought.

"No, he didn't know I'd be there," I admitted.

"Huh. He seemed into you at the party. But then he never called after Sunday, right?" she pressed.

"I guess he's been busy," I said lamely.

"That sucks. Tell you what, I'll go get our drinks and put in a good word for you, okay?" She gathered up the dollars we'd each thrown on the table and practically ran to the bar before I could protest. I could just imagine the "good words" she'd come up with to tell Edward. I doubted they'd have anything to do with me.

I tried in vain to ignore Jessica's full-court-press flirtation with Edward, replete with hair-tossing and profuse giggling. To my dismay, he rewarded her phony efforts with one of his easy grins, joking with her and giving her the warm, crinkly-eyed looks I liked to imagine he reserved only for me. I was almost thankful when Mike began talking to me so that I was forced to look away from the depressing sight of my friend hitting on the guy I dreamed of calling my boyfriend. I tried to focus on what Mike was saying as he rambled on, but I was hopelessly distracted by the blurred image of the two traitors out of the corner of my eye.

"….so, anyway, I thought that maybe, since it seems like you aren't dating anyone, you'd like to go to Winter Formal with me."

My head jerked in Mike's direction and my eyes snapped to meet his. His expression fluctuated rapidly between attraction, nervousness, hope and fear. I knew that look all too well. It was the look that I probably had on my face every time I thought about Edward. I glanced quickly at the bar in time to see and hear him let out a short, loud laugh while Jessica waved her arms around animatedly, telling him some doubtlessly inane story.

Bristling, I turned my attention fully on Mike, looked him square in the eye and said, "Sure, I'll go to the dance with you."

His blue eyes widened in surprise for a moment before a huge grin broke over his face. "Okay, so…great! Great." He smiled and nodded a moment, looking briefly at a loss for words. Then he continued, "Do you want to go get dinner first? Tyler and Lauren have reservations at Biaggi's in Port Angeles, so I thought maybe we could join them and then come to the dance later."

"Uh…well, okay," I agreed unenthusiastically. I wasn't sure I wanted to drive nearly an hour and back to dinner beforehand, and I was even less thrilled about hanging out with Lauren. I really didn't even want to go to the dance. All I wanted right now was to march over to Edward and Jessica and punch them both in the face.

I listened with half an ear to Mike planning our date together, wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into. Finally Jessica arrived toting a pitcher of Cokes, followed by none other than Edward, who placed a tall glass of some clear carbonated beverage in front of me. Startled, I looked up at him and asked, "What's this?"

He regarded me with an almost accusatory look. I suddenly had a strange feeling that he had overheard me accept Mike's invitation to the formal, though that was physically impossible from across the room.

"Jessica told me you like Sierra Mist," he explained in his buttery voice. "It's on the house."

My brows knitted in confusion. "Thanks…?" I said, giving him a questioning look.

"Anything for you, Bella," he said without a trace of sarcasm. Before I could reply, he turned and walked back to the bar while I admired his backside in spite of myself and wondered what the hell had just happened.

I looked at Jessica, who had taken a seat next to me. "What was that about?" I demanded.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "He asked me what happened at the party Saturday night after you got hurt, and I told him how Tyler was so drunk that he tripped over the snack table and fell into the dance floor. It was like dominoes---half a dozen kids went flying!" she laughed, punching Tyler on the arm. Tyler began protesting that Mike had pushed him, which Mike vehemently denied.

"Wow, sounds like I missed all the fun," I said, then turned to Jessica. "So why did Edward bring me my own drink?" I asked her.

"Well, when I ordered the Cokes, he asked me if you liked anything special. I told him what you usually drank at school, and he started pouring you one just like that. He's, like, way into you, Bella. He kept sneaking looks over here and I think he was pissed that you were talking to Mike. You should go for it! He is ridiculously hot." She sounded mildly annoyed that she'd struck out with him, but two seconds later she seemed to forget about it and was laughing with everyone else about their drunken escapades last weekend.

I sat in stunned silence, mildly horrified. What had I just done? I looked over at Edward, who was frowning slightly and apparently concentrating very hard on polishing bar glasses into diamonds. My heart plummeted down to my toes. Had my stupid insecurities just ruined everything?

As if in answer to my silent fears, Mike chose that moment to make a public announcement. Loudly. "Guess what, everybody? Bella Swan has agreed to accompany me to Winter Formal. So we're finally going to see whether or not the girl can dance! She says no, but I beg to differ," he crowed, giving me a wink. I began praying for a trap door to open under my chair and swallow me in the basement below.

Everyone hooted and cheered us with their sodas. Everyone except Jessica Stanley, that is. She gave me a look of undisguised shock, with a little hurt and anger thrown in for good measure.

"Wow, that's really interesting, Bella," she said finally in a strained tone. "I thought you hated dancing."

"I do," I answered dismally. I tried to think of an excuse as to why I'd accepted Mike's date offer but came up empty. How could I tell her that I had overreacted in a spurt of irrational, and, it turned out, unwarranted jealousy? I sank in my chair and felt the heat of mortification flood my face.

"Well, you two ought to have a fucking fantastic time, then," Jess muttered bitterly. She jumped up, grabbed her purse and made a bee-line for the bathroom. Angela looked at me with an odd mixture of sympathy and disapproval, then followed after her friend. I grabbed my soda and took a hefty swig, half-wishing it had a couple shots of vodka thrown in. But then again, look where that had gotten me last weekend.

I looked over at Edward, but he was busy filling orders from the only waitress who was working the floor. A couple of pretty 20-something women entered the bar, and I watched their eyes widen in unmistakable attraction as soon as they caught sight of the gorgeous bartender. They seated themselves in front of him and began the familiar flirting game. I realized this might very well turn out to be the longest night of my life.

With a sigh, I decided I'd better find Jessica in the ladies' room and make things right with her before the evening got any worse. It was bad enough watching Edward get hit on by adult women; it would be even worse enduring Jess's glares and sardonic remarks all night.

I found her dabbing at her eyes with toilet paper while Angela assured her that the dance meant nothing; it was only one evening. I interrupted only long enough to agree, telling her that I didn't even want to go to the dance, let alone go with Mike.

"Then why did you say yes?" she yelled, blowing her nose for emphasis.

"Because… when I saw you and Edward talking and laughing like that, I thought… I don't know. I thought you were hitting on him. I was jealous," I admitted. "So when Mike asked me to Formal, I just accepted without thinking. I'm sorry, Jess," I said sincerely. Boy, was I sorry. I'd be even sorrier when I actually had to go through with the date next weekend.

Jessica snorted in response. "There's no point in hitting on Edward. All he does is talk about you. Lauren told me about how he blew her off, twice! I mean, that's crazy. I've never seen a guy ignore Lauren. But for whatever reason, Edward only sees you, Bella. And apparently so does Mike," she sniffed.

I would have felt more insulted if I didn't already know how absurd it was for Edward to be interested in me. He could have any girl he wanted. I still had no idea why he wanted me. Mike, however, was a little easier to figure out.

"Come on, Jess. Mike just likes me because I'm the new girl. I'm like a challenge or something. Now that I've actually agreed to go out with him, trust me, the mystery will be over and he won't be interested anymore. Especially after he sees me on the dance floor," I assured Jessica.

She let out a small laugh and said, "I've seen you in gym. Just don't break any of his toes, okay?"

"I won't even have the chance. You should bring a guy friend to the dance, and I'll set it up so that you end up with Mike by the end of the evening. I'll be the worst date ever. He'll be dying to get rid of me by the time it's all over," I promised.

Jessica looked slightly offended. "Don't do me any favors, Bella. Maybe I don't want your sloppy seconds, okay?"

I let that remark slide, since I knew there was very little I could say to make her feel any better about Mike's interest in me. The only thing I could do would be to make it clear to Mike that I considered him only a friend, and hope that eventually he'd come around to the fact that someone who really liked him was right under his nose.

"Come on, let's go back before the guys get suspicious," Angela suggested, giving Jessica a quick hug and squeeze. "Don't give Mike the satisfaction of knowing this bothers you."

"Exactly," I agreed. "Plus, I need your help to kick their asses at darts or pool, because I suck at both," I told Jess. She gave me a half-hearted smile, and I could tell that things would be strained between us until the entire Winter Formal fiasco was over.

We found the guys in the middle of playing some old-school video games, but they quickly accepted our challenge to a boys-against-girls round of darts. I didn't really understand the rules, and just tried to get my darts on the board, preferably somewhere in the vicinity of the bull's eye. Though Jessica and Angela held their own admirably, the boys trounced us easily and decided to move on to the pool tables. Ange and Jess went to refill their glasses while I absently practiced some more with the darts, determined to improve my aim.

"Will it help if you imagine my face up there on the dart board?" a warm voice suddenly murmured in my ear, stirring the hairs on my neck and making me jump in surprise. I looked up into Edward Masen's amused eyes and crooked smirk as he leaned over my shoulder, and my traitorous heart began to beat wildly at his nearness.

"Why would I do that?" I asked him, perplexed.

"You tell me. You've been ignoring me like I have the plague ever since you walked in here tonight," he said reproachfully.

My eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "I've done no such thing," I protested. "You've been busy entertaining all the female customers. I'd hate to eat into your tip money by distracting you," I said acidly. I nodded my head in the direction of the women at the bar, who were watching him like hawks as he stood over me.

His eyes narrowed and caught mine in a deep stare. "Too late. You're always a distraction to me, just by being in the same room."

I suddenly knew what it meant when women in olden days "swooned" over a man. If anybody could make a woman wish for smelling salts, it was Edward.

I was determined to keep my cool this time, unlike last Saturday night. "If I'm such a bad influence, then why did you invite me to come hang out here? I believe you said I was welcome any time."

A grin spread across his face. "Productivity is highly over-rated," he asserted. "Besides, I happen to be on my dinner break right now. The only person I want to entertain is you."

Tingles surged up and down my body as if he were running his fingers over my skin instead of just looking at me with those penetrating eyes. He was going to make keeping my composure, and my ability to speak in complete sentences, very difficult. I cleared my throat and managed, "How do you plan to do that?"

A soft laugh escaped his perfect lips. "I can think of a few things, but none of them are really appropriate for an all-ages establishment. So… how about a game of pool instead?"

Was he trying to kill me? Probably not, but if he kept up the innuendo-laden remarks, he might succeed.

I followed him to the very last pool table at the back of the room. Jake's wasn't full yet, and this part of the bar afforded us a modicum of privacy. We passed Mike, Tyler and Eric on our way, and the three of them gaped silently, Mike looking particularly taken aback. I felt a twinge of guilt. I never should have agreed to go out with him when I only wanted to be friends, especially when I knew Jessica liked him. I sighed heavily and picked out a pool cue, dusting the tip with chalk while Edward racked the balls on the pool table.

"Wow, you really think I'm going to beat you that badly?" Edward asked.

"What do you mean?"

"That heavy sigh. I'll be gentle, I promise," he grinned.

I let out a mirthless laugh. "It's not that, although I'm sure you will beat the pants off of me." He quirked one eyebrow and made me squirm. "Figuratively speaking, of course," I added, quirking an eyebrow in return. "No, I was thinking about something stupid I did earlier."

"Oh, you mean accepting a date with that Mike Newton guy?" Edward said nonchalantly, examining the pool cues for a straight stick in the right length.

"How did you know about that?" I demanded.

"The whole bar knows about it," he chuckled. "His voice carries."

I buried my face briefly in my hands before pushing them through my hair in agitation.

"So why did you do it, if you don't want to go?" he asked me, chalking his pool stick and leaning against the pool table in an unconsciously sensual way. My eyes traveled down the close-fitting black knit shirt he wore, over his button-flied crotch to the bare knee cap poking through the hole in his jeans.

"I don't know," I lied, concentrating on Edward's knee. I wanted to reach down and stroke the soft, light-brown wisps of hair that poked through the ragged denim hole.

"Oh, so you mean it wasn't to get back at me for talking to Jessica?" he teased. My eyes flew up to meet his at that remark.

"Of course not," I lied again. "Contrary to your beliefs, my world does not revolve around you." I could practically feel my nose growing with that one.

"That's too bad. I was hoping we were operating on a level playing field," he said softly, rising and turning toward the pool table. He removed the rack from the balls and said, "You want to break? Ladies first."

I stared at him, my heart still pounding at his words. Was he saying that his world _did _revolve around me? How could that be? And why? I shook my head a little and forced myself to focus on the game at hand.

"I can't break," I lamented. "I've tried before, but I don't have the strength. The balls hardly move."

"You just have to aim in the right place," he said with a smile. "Here, I'll show you." He set the cue ball in what he explained was the most strategic spot to effectively break apart the triangle of pool balls, then gently positioned me at the end of the table.

The next thing I knew, I was bent over, the pool stick in my right hand, its length resting on my left fingers. Edward leaned over me, the entire length of his body touching mine. He placed his cool left hand around mine on the table, showing me how to properly rest the cue on my fingers. His right hand covered mine on the butt of the stick, and he began pushing and pulling it back and forth slowly over the closed bridge of my left hand, setting up the correct aim on the cue ball. I tried to pay attention to his instructions as he breathed them directly in my ear, but the sensations of his legs behind mine, his groin pushing against my backside and his chest pressing on top of my shoulder blades obliterated all coherent thought. Tremors sped through me as I imagined how this would feel without the barriers of our clothing in the way. I'd had wild fantasies before, but always with some imaginary faceless lover, never a real person. I was shocked to realize that I would let Edward take me this way…that I would relish it. He could take me any way he wanted me, and I'd probably do nothing but groan in submission. I wanted him like I'd never wanted anyone in my life.

"…and when you have the angle in your sights, you need to really pull back on the stick. It's not about speed, it's about accuracy. You want to aim low on the cue ball, the sweet spot, so it will hit with as much impact as possible and then spin back to you," he ordered in a low, husky tone, his strong hands guiding mine to smack the pool cue firmly into the white ball with one quick, long thrust. It hit the triangle of balls in a loud succession of cracks, sending a blur of stripes and solids in all directions. I could barely pay attention to which balls made it into pockets, I was so turned on by the sexual overtones of Edward's instruction. I wanted him to do to me what he'd just done to the pool balls.

I had the feeling his mind must be wandering to the same wanton place mine was, because he hovered over me a moment longer, his spicy-sweet breath cooling my cheek in quick, uneven bursts. His lips grazed my ear as lightly as butterfly wings before he pulled away and stood up. My body instantly ached for him and I rose immediately, searching for the reassurance of his broad chest against my shoulders. He rested his chin on top of my head and said, "See? You did it. You're stripes."

I should have known his eyes would be quicker than mine. I let out a shaky laugh, and Edward asked me which move I was going to make next. A hundred lurid thoughts crossed my mind before I gathered my wits and pointed to the striped 12 ball that was teetering close to a corner pocket. Edward backed away and let me make the easy shot, then asked me again what I was going to do next.

The game went on that way, with Edward leading me through the possible plays, and giving me tips on how to improve my aim and follow-through. He never came that close to me again, which was a mixed blessing at best. Still, I could scarcely concentrate, my senses were so consumed with his nearness. I finally scratched during a tough shot, and Edward retrieved the cue ball for his turn. I watched him, mesmerized, as he skillfully sank nearly every solid ball there was, no matter how impossible the shot looked.

"Wow," I exclaimed as he cleaned up the table. "You should do this for a living. Do you hustle any of the guys who come in here?"

"Not too often," he said with a wicked smirk. "Sometimes I can't help myself though. Depends on how much of an arrogant prick the guy is."

I laughed and observed, "So your victims all have it coming to them. That seems fair."

His face grew suddenly grim and he said, "Most of the time. Sometimes I make mistakes." I got the feeling he wasn't talking about pool anymore, but I wasn't sure to what else he could be referring.

He was about to win the game, when he overshot and sent the 8-ball flying into the side pocket behind his last solid. He let out an exaggerated sigh and said, "See? I'm not all that. You win, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. "You let me win, Edward," I accused, giving his rock-hard chest a playful shove. He gave me my favorite crooked smile in return and said, "Would I do such a thing? You won, fair and square. But we forgot to call the stakes before we started the game. What do you want for your prize?"

Holy crow. He had to know I wanted him and nothing else, but I wasn't ready for such an admission. Suddenly, I had my answer.

"Your phone number."

His brow furrowed a bit. "I don't have a phone," he finally admitted wryly. "Not yet, anyway. The Cullens are helping me out with a few things…like getting some I.D., so I can take care of stuff like that. Trust me, if I had a phone number, I'd be programming it into your phone at the top of your favorites, just so you don't forget me."

"As if I could ever do that," I told him before I could stop myself. Being coy never seemed to work with this guy. He disarmed me completely. Then again, he rarely pulled any punches with me either. "Is that why you didn't call all week?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mostly. I had to use the phone here last Sunday when I called, and this place is not exactly conducive to a private conversation. Plus…I'm not sure that spending time with me is such a good idea for you, Bella," he said quietly, turning away and placing his pool cue back in the wooden rack on the wall.

"What do you mean?" I demanded, panicking slightly. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, it seems like something always happens to you whenever I'm around. I'm beginning to think I'm bad luck for you," he said, reaching over tentatively and taking a strand of my hair between his fingers.

"That's ridiculous. If anything, you're the one who keeps coming to my rescue. Trust me, Edward, I'm as graceless as they come. Ask Charlie. He'll tell you how many times I trip over things and run into countertops. I mean, I don't blame you if you don't want to hang out with such a klutz," I blurted, looking down at my Keds in embarrassment.

He laughed and threaded his hand through my hair, rubbing the back of my neck and pulling me closer. "Well, you're the cutest klutz I've ever seen, then. Maybe you're right…maybe I'd better stick around so I can save you from yourself." I felt his lips on the top of my head, and I drifted toward him, my hands grabbing the thin folds of his shirt at his waist. I itched to pull the fabric up and explore his bare skin with my fingers. I nearly forgot we were even in the bar, hidden in our dark corner together.

A loud cracking of pool balls across the room suddenly reminded me of our whereabouts. I looked sideways at the pool table several yards away, where Mike had begun a new game with an especially aggressive break. He glared at us with undisguised disgust. I quickly backed away from Edward, who dropped his hand from my hair as he comprehended my actions.

"Maybe you should get back to your friends," Edward advised. "My break is about over anyway." He looked over at the now-crowded bar area, where the only other bartender was quickly mixing drinks as the waitress filled pitchers.

"Thanks for the pool lessons," I said, my voice thick with longing. I knew I would have fantasies about Edward and pool tables for weeks.

"You're a natural. Keep practicing…you'll be as good as me in no time," he whispered. Were we still talking about pool? I didn't know and didn't care. "You could stop by after school and play… and keep me company while you're at it."

I was elated that he wanted me to come see him again, but reality quickly squashed my enthusiasm. "I work most nights after school at Newtons,'" I sighed dejectedly. "Plus, Charlie probably wouldn't be thrilled with me visiting a bar every night, even if Jake's makes it a point not to serve minors."

"Well, considering I haven't even met your dad yet, it might not be in my best interest to start off with a bad impression," he agreed. _Yet? _My brain registered this tiny word with a thrill of hope. Edward's lips twisted in bemusement as he said, "So you work with Mike most nights, eh? That will give you two plenty of time to plan your big date next weekend." He laughed, but looked a little annoyed.

"Please don't remind me," I moaned. "I have to live with Jess for the next week, too. I don't know what I was thinking."

"So you really don't like this Mike guy?" he queried.

"No. I mean, yeah, I like him fine, he's a good buddy. But that's all he is," I insisted.

"Hmmm. Well, I'm not so sure he understands that," Edward frowned, giving Mike an irritated glance. "You may have to make it a little clearer for him."

And with that, Edward tilted my chin up with his hand and covered my mouth in a kiss. I gasped when his cool lips met mine, and he took the opportunity to glide his tongue in between my open lips. My mouth responded instantly, my tongue twirling with his in an erotic dance. Every nerve in my body sprang to life, as if Edward's kiss were the source of an electrical charge. When he broke away, I slumped toward him, the current broken. His blue-gray eyes seared mine as he stroked my jaw with his thumb. "I promise you I'll see you again soon, Bella," he murmured. Then he turned and walked back to the bar, leaving me staring after him, stunned and immobile.

I came back slowly to earth, realizing with dread that three pairs of shocked eyes were glued upon me from two pool tables away. Eric and Tyler stared, then nudged each other and began talking in low voices. Mike's expression was unreadable, there were so many emotions crossing his face. My feet felt like lead as they carried me toward him, trudging as if I were facing an executioner. I stopped a couple of feet away from him and waited for the verbal onslaught.

Mike took a deep breath, then finally spoke. "What the hell was that about?" he demanded. "Are you dating that guy or what? Didn't you just meet him a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yeah, I did. And no, we're not dating, really. I mean, I don't know. We're just getting to know each other," I said weakly. He shook his head in disbelief. "Look, Mike, I totally understand if you don't want to take me to the dance," I continued. "I never meant to give you the wrong impression about us. I really do like you…just not…like _that_." I cringed at my piss-poor explanation.

He seethed for a moment longer, and then announced, "I don't take back invitations. I told you I'd show you a good time at Winter Formal, and I meant it. That Edward dude isn't the only guy with a trick or two up his sleeve," he added with a grim smirk.

I gave him an incredulous stare. He couldn't be serious. Was he really viewing this as a challenge? Like he'd somehow figure out a way to lure me away from Edward? Holy crow. This was going to be worse than I thought.

I was trying to formulate a reply when Angela and Jessica thankfully interrupted, deciding that they wanted to join in this round of pool. We tried another game of boys-against-girls, and this time the females fared better. I tried to ignore Mike's obvious attempts to impress me with ridiculous one-armed and behind-the-back shots. I wished he would focus his attentions on Jessica, who laughed and encouraged his goofiness while he stole meaningful looks at me on the side. In the meantime, I couldn't stop staring at Edward, who was charming all the women gathered around him at the bar and watching his tip jar fill with cash.

I didn't think I could take a minute more of the insanity when Angela announced that she had to get home because she had to work early in the morning. I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed my coat, saying good-night to the guys and whispering more apologies to Jessica, which she ignored. Mike made a big show of hugging me good-bye when he noticed Edward looking in our direction. I made a silent plea for help with my eyes as I looked at him over Mike's shoulder. Edward's lip raised in an amused grin at my self-imposed plight. I felt his gaze follow me across the room and out the door, and I wanted nothing more than to drag him out of the bar and take him home with me. I realized with a start that I didn't even know where Edward was living. There was so much I didn't know about him, and yet I felt connected to him on such a visceral level that the details of our everyday lives didn't seem to matter.

I tried to explain myself to Angela on the way home, though I'm sure I didn't make any sense. None of the evening made sense to me, except for the time I spent with Edward. Everything else just disappeared when I was with him. But now I would probably have to face the rest of the week, and the dance, without him. And I'd have to start by spending the whole next day working with Mike at the sporting goods store. I groaned inwardly at the thought as I thanked Angela for the ride and trudged up to the house.

I wasn't sure how I felt about God and the order of the universe. But if I believed at all in a higher power, this seemed like a good time to start praying.


	8. The Deep End

_**Edward**_

"Edward Anthony _Cullen_?"

I read the name on the Washington state driver's license that Emmett Cullen had just handed me, and looked up at him in complete confusion.

He cocked his head a bit sheepishly to one side. "I guess I forgot to tell our guy that you weren't a part of the family," he explained. "He's gotten us I.D.'s for a long time…I think he just assumed you were a Cullen, too. Sorry I didn't clarify that with him. It's just an I.D., though, man. So you can get a phone, an apartment, whatever conveniences you want, right?"

_Our guy? _Apparently the Cullens had kept some master forger on their payroll for awhile if he routinely cranked out bogus Cullen identification documents. I had to admit, the driver's license looked legit. "Our guy" was good at his job.

"It's fine," I told Emmett at last. "I'm sure I've been called worse."

Emmett laughed and agreed, then began wiping down the bar. It was almost 3 o'clock, and soon the first-shift mill workers would be piling in for a couple of beers before heading home.

"Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Tell me what I owe you," I said, pulling my wallet out of my back pocket and inserting the new I.D. its plastic sleeve.

"You owe me nothing, forget about it," Emmett scoffed with a dismissive wave. Then his face lit up with an idea, which I heard in his head before he articulated it. "If you want to do something in return, you could come visit Esme and Carlisle some time. Esme really has a soft spot for you. She thinks you would fit right in with us, and she'd love to have somebody new to talk to. She never had kids when she was alive, you know. I think she's trying to make up for it now by taking us all under her wing."

I considered his offer, and thought that maybe I'd take him up on it. It might be nice to be around people with whom I could be myself, and not hide who I was.

"Well, maybe I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon before work," I suggested, looking to Emmett for approval. He grinned and said that would be great, and maybe we could even get in a couple of games of RockBand before we were due at the bar. "Let me guess, you play drums, right?" I asked him with a laugh. I couldn't imagine him on any other instrument, even the fake ones that came with the music video game.

"Hey, I happen to play a mean guitar too," he protested with an easy grin. "I'm gonna smoke your ass either way."

"Doubtful," I shot back, then headed to the freezer to stock the cooler behind the bar. I didn't remember whether or not I'd played RockBand before, but if my aptitude for the instruments I'd found in the high school band room was any indication, I'd give him a run for his money. My friendship with Emmett had become a lot more relaxed since the truth had come out in the open, and we entertained ourselves at work with plenty of inside jokes and rounds of pool during the slow times. Emmett tended to pick on me like a big brother would, and I found I kind of liked it. I'd been an only child before, so this would have been a new experience for me even if I hadn't lost my memory.

Jake's was pretty busy for a Monday, now that the weather was getting cooler and the days were short. There wasn't much to do in a small town, so a place like Jake's did good business most nights. I was glad to have the distraction, because I'd had Sunday off, and it nearly drove me mad trying to stay away from Bella. I thought about calling her at least a hundred times. I walked by her house about once every hour, wondering if she would come out, or if she were doing homework, or talking on the phone with her ridiculous friends. If she only knew the things going through their minds, she'd disown the lot of them, save for Angela Weber. Jessica thought nothing of stabbing her in the back, and Mike thought of nothing but romancing her and getting her in bed. I had to block his thoughts continuously because I couldn't stand to see what he wanted to do with Bella. Of course, a big part of my problem was that I basically wanted the same things he did. But I was positive he didn't have a fraction of the emotional connection or the concern for her that I did. I hoped Bella wasn't too mad at me for kissing her in front of him, but I couldn't take another minute of his mind screaming what he planned for the night of the FHS Winter Formal, when he could get her far away from me. Little did he know that he would never get her alone-I would be lurking nearby. If he had even the tiniest inkling that he would force her to do something she didn't want to, I would end him, then and there, without compunction.

I was growing tired of trying to stay away from Bella already, and it had only been a week since the disastrous Halloween party. When she came in Jake's by chance Friday night, I was practically giddy with relief. Her scent blew in the door and it was the most exquisitely welcome torture I'd ever felt. I was unhappily surprised when she averted her eyes from mine almost immediately upon entering the room, and hid among her friends. Was she avoiding me? I couldn't believe it. Maybe she was just embarrassed about being drunk at the party, and kissing me. But she hadn't sounded that way over the phone. She was the one who'd brought it up. I frowned and studied her, then sifted through the thoughts of her friends. That's when I discovered that Mike was planning on asking her out and felt pretty confident that she'd say yes. He had to be wrong about that, I thought. I was sure she had feelings for me. There was no way she'd give this idiot the time of day.

And yet she continued to turn away from me and pay attention to him while he stumbled and tripped over his words, trying to gather his courage. It was all I could do to feign interest in Jessica's overly dramatic reenactment of her friend's drunken stupidity the weekend before, when all I wanted to do was study Bella's reaction through Mike Newton's agitated brain. I was shocked when she said yes, she'd go out with him.

I needed to look her in the eyes-make her look into mine. I took her favorite brand of soda to the table and attempted to read her expression as she looked up at me, to no avail. I tried to convey my own vexation to her, but wasn't sure if she comprehended my stare. Did she really prefer her friends' company to mine? Would she really rather spend time with Mike Newton than come talk to me?

Thankfully, I got some clarification soon after, when Mike noisily bragged about his date with Bella to the entire bar. She looked embarrassed, and when she followed an upset Jessica to the ladies' room, I finally got my answers. I hated having to use the filter of Jessica's feeble mind to see and hear the truth from Bella, but it worked well enough. I was relieved when Bella assured her friend that she had accepted Mike's invitation out of a fit of jealousy over Jessica's attentions to me. Still, I wondered why she would feel so insecure about me. I thought my feelings for her were obvious.

I decided I'd make my intentions perfectly clear to her the minute I got the chance. I could hear Esme's voice in the back of my head telling me it would only lead to trouble, but the need to be near Bella was too strong. My siren was calling to me. As soon as I saw her practicing darts alone, I took my break and went to speak to her.

The conversation went better than I expected. It was so easy being with her, talking to her, teasing her, flirting with her. She gave back as good as she got, which just made me want to push our boundaries a little further. Showing her how to break at pool just about did me in. The heat of her body pressed against mine seemed like it should sear right through our clothes, and in my imagination, it did. I wanted to wrap her warmth around me like a blanket and lose myself inside her. I would never stop wanting the closeness, the oneness, I'd felt with her in that brief moment when her life hung in the balance…the horrible moment her impending death had brought me back to life. There had to be a way to find that unity with her again, but without the violence. I knew what the answer was, if I were strong enough to keep the monster within me at bay.

Could I do it? Could I make love to Bella without my passion for her turning into something ugly and uncontrollable? I fought with the question over and over in my mind, and it was the only thing that kept me away from her. I couldn't live with myself if I ever succeeded in ending her life. I would have to beg the Cullens to kill me, if there was, indeed, a way for our kind to die.

I had other questions for the vampire coven as well. How did we all become immortal? Apparently a non-lethal bite from a vampire wasn't enough, or Bella would have become one of us by now. And I couldn't fathom condemning her to our fate: to roam the earth for eternity, a soulless, walking corpse. When I considered what I truly was, I didn't want Bella to come anywhere near me. She should run from all of us as fast as she could. And yet she seemed to gravitate toward us instead, befriending Alice and becoming infatuated with me. Her self-preservation instincts seemed to be missing altogether. I often wondered what other calamities I might have to save her from in the future, other than the ones I might be responsible for myself.

After Jake's closed that night, I knew my feet would carry me to the Swan residence before I could give it any conscious thought. I took my usual post in the large maple tree outside Bella's window. She slept peacefully, and occasionally smiled. I saw her lips move, and I knew she was talking in her sleep again. What was she saying? The unanswered question gnawed at me. I hopped down from the tree and flew to the front door, stole the key from its hiding place under the eaves, and let myself into the house at last, berating myself the entire time. I took in the simply furnished bungalow with my nocturnal sight, and breathed the sweet perfume that permeated the air. I crept up the stairs and let my sense of smell lead me right to Bella's beside.

This was the first time I'd watched her sleep like this, up close, since she'd been in the hospital weeks ago. The sight of her now was blessedly different-healthy, whole, peaceful. I knelt next to her and stroked her hair. I wondered if she would wake if I spoke or sang to her, now that she was free of pain medication. I kept my silence, content to listen to the steady rhythm of her breathing. Every time she stirred or rolled over, I tensed in readiness to dart out of the room, but she never awoke. And then, finally, she spoke.

"Edward," she said, and my eyes grew round. Fire spread through my body at the knowledge that she was dreaming about me. Should I answer? I held my tongue.

She murmured softly and her brow crinkled slightly. "Don't stop," she whispered.

My heart thudded in my chest. What, exactly, was her dream version of me doing? I could imagine numerous things, but I doubted that her mind was traveling down quite the same path as mine had been lately. And yet she made a low sound in her throat again, a tiny moan, that stirred everything south of my waist.

"Yes," she said breathlessly. I never knew one simple word could arouse me so much. Her sighs and moans became more frequent, and I couldn't believe that she was dreaming about the same things I'd been imagining, but she had to be. No other thoughts would produce those sounds of pleasure that vibrated her throat. My erection throbbed painfully, but touching myself while eavesdropping on her erotic dream would make me about the biggest pervert who ever walked. I had probably already achieved that dubious distinction just by breaking in here.

"Please, Edward," Bella implored, and I nearly groaned out loud myself. Every cell in my body was screaming to touch her, to crawl in bed with her and take her in my arms and make every single part of her dream come true. I couldn't believe she really wanted me the same way I wanted her. Her breathing became quick and shallow, and she writhed under the covers, her hands twisting the sheets. Her eyebrows knitted together as a succession of soft cries escaped her lips, and I was torn between euphoria and shame as I watched her climax, her body shuddering repeatedly before finally relaxing with a long sigh.

I sat still as a stone, staring at her, trying to absorb what had just happened. I had fantasized about this moment, watching her face as she lost all control and let her senses take over. But I had always been an active participant in that fantasy, touching her, kissing her, moving inside her, feeling her body tighten around me as she came. Seeing her achieve that high with only dreams of me was both intoxicating and frustrating as hell. There was no way I could walk away from her now. Not when she wanted this as much as I did.

I remained a fixture at her bedside until the first glimmer of dawn began to seep through Bella's bedroom window. She murmured my name twice more during the night, sending the same surge of desire through me each time. I didn't know how any of this would work between us, but I had to try. I had no more will to fight it.

I noiselessly left the house just as I heard the first stirrings of Bella's father in the room down the hall. I escaped into the woods near the Swan property, running until I found a secluded spot to sink down on a boulder and think about what had happened. I couldn't stop replaying Bella's moment of release over and over in my mind…relishing that fact that it was me who had been the cause of her wet dream, that it was me she wanted, me she came for. My rigid cock was begging for release, and I unzipped my jeans and began stroking myself, imagining her hands and mouth on me…imagining what it would feel like to push myself into the tight, wet heat between her legs and pump in and out of her until she made that ecstatic face, those reckless sounds that I'd already witnessed firsthand. I came quickly, and as the orgasm rocked my body, I gripped the tree behind me to steady myself. Instantly a huge chunk of its trunk broke away in my fist. I stared at the wood pulp in my hand and my high wore off quickly, fear taking its place. Even if I could keep myself from biting Bella in the throes of passion, there were clearly other ways I could fatally harm her in an instant.

I tossed the wood chips to the ground, growling in frustration. There had to be a way around this. There had to be a way to be with Bella without hurting her. And if anyone could help me find some answers, it would be the Cullens.

I headed over to the high school, glad that the janitors showed up early so I could sneak in and clean myself up. I had come to know their schedule fairly well, since I was staying in the school most nights now. One night I had entertained myself by slowly following the endless rows of lockers that lined the school's hallways until I caught the faint remnant of Bella's scent emanating from locker number 237. I paused to inhale my own personal version of catnip while I studied the built-in combination lock and thought about trying to jimmy it. Then I realized what a sick bastard I was and walked away in disgust. I didn't have far to walk, since her locker was conveniently located close to the band room where I spent a good chunk of my time, tinkering on the piano and lately on a well-used guitar, which I found I quite liked as well. Of course, the escape was only temporary, because most of the time I found that whatever songs I played or lyrics I improvised, I created them with Bella in mind. I knew I should find some reason to exist other than for her. But as a soulless blood-sucker, I couldn't fathom what that reason might be.

I set off for the Cullens' early, even though I had told Emmett I'd stop by in the afternoon. I had nothing else to fill my time, and I suspected they fought the same battles against a purposeless existence. Carlisle had obviously attended med school just like a human and was fighting his true nature daily by saving lives instead of ending them. I could see the appeal in that. It was probably the easiest way to assuage his guilt over what he had become.

Emmett answered the door of the Cullen home before I had a chance to ring the bell. I looked at him quizzically, and he quickly explained with a grin, "I saw you coming up the drive. Alice knew you were going to stop by early. Her skills come in pretty handy sometimes."

I shook my head in wonder. "So, how often does she see the future? I mean, how does that work, exactly?" I asked as Emmett ushered me into the living room. I remembered her disturbing vision of me attacking Bella, and her admission that she hadn't seen it in time to stop it.

"It's pretty random," Emmett admitted. "She's trying to channel it more; sort of tune in to the visions and make more sense of them. Sometimes she sees things that are far in the future, and other times she sees things that are about to happen in a few minutes. And sometimes, things don't quite happen like her visions predict they will. The future can always change because people have free will. It's not an exact science, that's for sure."

I suddenly heard Esme's voice in my head, welcoming me warmly. She appeared moments later from the next room and gave me a hug in greeting. "I'm so glad you decided to come visit, Edward," she smiled. "Carlisle is at work, and Jasper and Alice are in school. Emmett gets bored because Rosalie and I aren't very much competition playing cards or video games." She winked at Emmett, who grinned broadly.

"I already told him I'm gonna hand his ass to him," Emmett said as he gave me a rough slap on the back. Esme gave him a look. She didn't care for curse words. "Sorry, Esme," Emmett muttered. "But I SO am," he hissed over at me.

"You probably will," I conceded. "I don't even know if I can play. I don't really remember, you know."

"Then let's find out what you're made of," Emmett replied, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. He led me into a cavernous den equipped with a massive plasma TV, home theater sound system and the latest Nintendo Wii and X-Box 360 game systems. Emmett suggested a simple Wii Sports game first, though he promised to eventually "pulverize" me at Halo 3. I picked up handling the gaming controllers pretty quickly, and I sensed I had used one before. As I learned the rules of the different games we tried, I found that being able to read Emmett's mind was a definite advantage. I anticipated each move he made seconds before he made it, and was able to maneuver accordingly. He won the first couple of rounds, but was disgruntled when I took the third. He apparently hadn't figured out that I was using my clairvoyant abilities to his detriment. He had just suggested we go for best of seven when I heard Rosalie's unmistakable voice from behind us.

"He's reading your mind so he can beat you, you know," she informed her boyfriend. She gave me a withering smile. My lip curled in response.

Emmett looked at me with a start. "Damn, Edward! I wasn't even thinking about that. I was wondering how you picked up this shit so fast." He turned to Rosalie. "I still think he had to be a gamer before," he told her. Then, shifting his attention back to me, he asked, "Have you had any memories come back to you at all? Your parents? Anything?"

I shook my head. "Not a thing."

"The same thing happened to Alice," Rosalie told me. "She'd been left to rot in an insane asylum when people got wind of her visions. That was back in the 1920s, when a gift like hers was seen as a sign of insanity. She doesn't know how she became a vampire, either, and she can't remember much of her human life before. In her case, that was a blessing." Rosalie scrutinized my troubled expression for a moment. "Maybe you were a nut job, too," she concluded, barely containing her snarky grin.

"Come on, Rose, give the guy a break," Emmett sighed, rising and putting his arm around his other half. "At least you and I knew what had happened to us when we were turned. Imagine wandering around like Edward did, completely lost and clueless. It's a miracle he didn't kill Bella instantly, without a thought. I killed my 'Bella,' and I knew better," he said somberly.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. "'Your Bella?'"

"My 'singer,' as Carlisle calls it," Emmett explained. "The human whose blood is so appealing, you can't stop yourself, no matter how hard you try to resist. I came across a woman hanging her laundry out to dry one day. So innocent… so unsuspecting," he said softly, his eyes far away. "I tried to leave, and not come any closer to her. But it was like she had a noose around my neck, pulling me in. I walked up to her, and she smiled at me. Looked right at me, with no fear. I didn't want to kill her… but her scent was too much. It took control of me. I couldn't stop it." His eyes were dark with regret.

Rosalie reached up and stroked the side of Emmett's face. "It couldn't be helped," she whispered to him. "Sometimes you can't fight against our vampire nature. It's too hard."

"You've managed to do it all these years," Emmett told her, his eyes full of love and admiration. "You're a stronger person than I am. Always have been. You saved me, and not just that first time when you found me dying in the woods." It was odd hearing those words come from Emmett's seemingly invincible, hulking frame.

Rosalie smiled lovingly up at him and said, "I knew the minute I saw you that you were worth saving." For the first time, I got an inkling of what Emmett saw in this girl beyond a beautiful exterior. He quickly explained to me that he'd been mauled in the woods by a bear years ago, and that vampire Rosalie had carried his bleeding body all the way to the Cullen house in the hopes that Carlisle could help him. Death was clearly inevitable, and Carlisle had turned him into a vampire in order to save him. "We've been together ever since," Rosalie ended softly.

"So how did he do it?" I questioned them. "How do you turn someone into a vampire?"

"The exchange of blood," Emmett answered simply. "You drain the human to the point of death, and then make the person drink your vampire blood in return. It sounds easier than it is, though. Few vampires can stop at the crucial moment, right before the person dies. None of us has ever tried to do it. I know I don't trust myself. Carlisle is over 400 years old, though-he's had several lifetimes to build his resistance to human blood, and his self-control."

The "crucial moment"… I knew it well. Had Carlisle felt that exquisite connection to human life when he had created his little vampire family? I was anxious to talk to him and pick his brain. I had to know if my connection to Bella was the exception or the norm. Carlisle, with his wisdom and experience, could surely help me make sense of my feelings.

My thoughts were pleasantly interrupted by the sound of piano music in a distant room. In my mind's eye I saw a pair of feminine hands stroking the keys, and it piqued my curiosity.

"Is that Esme?" I asked. Emmett's mind answered my question before he could point to the north end of the house. "She likes to play," he answered. "She's got an antique baby grand that she restored herself. That's a hobby of hers, Rose's too. They do renovations and interior design, sort of free-lance. We've got to have hobbies, you know…otherwise we'd go crazy." He gave Rose's waist a squeeze, and she grinned back. I quickly steered clear of where their minds began wandering.

"I've been kind of struggling with the time-management thing myself," I admitted. "It's been tough getting through all the sleepless nights." I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him about my excursions to Bella's house, especially last evening's, when I'd crossed the line of decency to an obscene degree. I certainly didn't want to reveal anything to Rosalie, who seemed to judge me harshly no matter what I did.

"You're welcome to come over here any time," Emmett said. "We have tons of books, music, movies…whatever you need to pass the time. Sometimes it helps just to have other people around who understand, even if you don't say a word to each other."

I nodded and thanked him, then excused myself to search for Esme and her baby grand. I found her in a conservatory of sorts: an expansive, airy room with glass walls to the north, beautiful hardwood floors corner to corner, and one wall lined entirely with wooden cubby holes filled with sheet music, instruments and other musical accoutrements. The piano was the main attraction of the room, its lovely tones reverberating through the natural wood and echoing in the air for seconds after the notes were played. Esme was interpreting a beautiful Rachmaninoff piece that I had tried to learn at the high school. I listened undiscovered for several minutes before Esme caught sight of me out of the corner of her eye and halted abruptly.

"No, don't stop," I blurted. "I didn't mean to interrupt. It was beautiful, please continue."

"Thank you, Edward," she smiled warmly. "Do you like music?"

"I love it. I play all the time. It's the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes, I think," I told her truthfully.

She cocked her head to one side in sympathy and asked, "Where do you play?"

"I sneak into the high school and stay there overnight a lot. I play the instruments there. Whatever I can find, anyway. The piano is my favorite though."

Her eyes brightened. "Will you play something for me?" she asked.

"Well…I can try. Mostly I just improvise. I never know what's going to come out when I sit down at the piano," I told her.

Her eyebrows raised in wonder. "You mean you play by ear? Off the top of your head?" I nodded in reply. She shook her head and said, "That's a rare gift. I wish I could do it. Any skill I have comes from many years of practice. And I do mean many," she laughed. She got up from the burgundy leather-upholstered bench and motioned for me to take a seat in her place.

I scooted the bench back to accommodate my long legs and gazed at the gorgeous ivory keys before me. The rich Steinway & Sons logo embossed in the wood stared back at me, daring me to touch this incredible instrument. I would do more than touch it, I decided. I would make it sing.

I began to play a pretty, melancholy tune that I had been toying with over the past couple of weeks. It was a melody that kept popping up in my head over and over, and I kept working with it, stretching it, adding to it until I had what felt like a complete piece, or at least close to it. The song felt like it might always be a work in progress. And that seemed fitting, since, like most other things in this new existence of mine, it belonged to Bella. Everything I had, everything I was, was hers.

After I finished, I sat staring at the keyboard for a moment. I could definitely get used to playing this gorgeous piano, if the Cullens didn't mind. I looked over at Esme, who sat still as a statue, face rapt, eyes closed. When she finally opened them, she gave me a long, intense gaze.

"You wrote that?" she asked at last. "Edward… that was so beautiful. Incredibly moving. You have such a gift. Have you written any more?"

"Nothing official, really. I just noodle and let my fingers take me where they want to go."

"Then take me with you," Esme smiled. She gestured for me to continue playing, and the invitation was irresistible. I attacked the Steinway, fingers flying, the music spinning out of control on this Cadillac of pianos. I didn't know how I would ever go back to the clunky upright in the FHS band room after this. Maybe I wouldn't have to. In the back of my mind, I considered taking the Cullens up on last week's offer to let me stay here in this house with them. It had to be better than wandering the school or library, and maybe it would keep me from stalking Bella like some freak or criminal.

When I finally finished the wild piece I'd improvised, I was surprised to find I had a bigger audience. Apparently when I was lost in the music, I was oblivious to the thoughts or presence of other people in the room. Emmett and Rosalie gaped at me openly, and for the first time, Rosalie seemed to approve of something I'd done. Emmett began clapping and whistling, and exclaiming that he didn't know I had it in me. Rosalie offered a simple, "You're very talented, Edward," but her thoughts admitted that she had loved my music. I grinned at her and said, "Thanks."

Esme rose from the velvet-covered Queen Anne chair she'd been sitting in and announced, "It's almost time for my appointment with Dr. Freeberg's wife. She's been wanting me to consult on her house remodel. Rosalie, do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah, I do," she replied. "But I want to have a word with Edward first." She raised an eyebrow at me, and I squirmed a bit uncomfortably on the piano bench.

"Edward, you're welcome to entertain us any time you like," Esme smiled at me. "I hope you'll consider it."

"I definitely will," I replied. She and Emmett left the room, the latter giving his girlfriend a warning look. She ignored him and sat down on the velvet chair across from me, appraising me coolly.

"I know I've been hard on you, Edward," she began. "I'd like to explain why."

Suddenly I saw ugly, violent images in her head… apparent memories of acts committed against her. I shuddered at the disturbing pictures that cluttered Rosalie's mind as she frowned and seemed to struggle to collect her thoughts. I waited for her to speak.

"I see how you look at Bella, and I see how she responds to you. It worries me," she said. "You realize that nothing good can come of a relationship with her. One or both of you will end up hurt. It's inevitable."

I let out a long sigh. "I know that, Rosalie. Believe me, I've tried to stop this. I know I'm no good for her. But the selfish part of me keeps winning," I admitted in frustration. "The fact that I know she has feelings for me isn't helping matters."

"Try harder," she said roughly. Then, suddenly, she looked almost apologetic. "Look, I know this is none of my business. But I look at someone like Bella, and I see the promise of normal human life in danger of being ruined. A husband…children…a family. A purpose. Those are all things that I wanted desperately, and they were taken away from me."

In her mind, I could see Rosalie struggle futilely against several male attackers. The things they did to her made my skin crawl. I was afraid to ask what had happened to her…I wasn't sure I wanted to know any more. Her eyes pierced mine, and I could see that she was painting the picture for me so that she didn't have to say it out loud. Carlisle had found her inches from death. He saved her the only way he knew how.

"Don't misunderstand me," she continued. "I love Emmett with all my heart, whatever's left of it. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He's the person who makes what I am bearable. But I wouldn't have chosen this for myself. The more Bella falls for you, the more willing she'll be to give up things that are so precious, so irreplaceable…." she trailed off and frowned. "Right now, she has choices. So many paths she can follow. Do you really want to lead her down the road we travel?" The question in her eyes was an honest one. I lowered my head, unable to answer. I knew what my reply should be, but the thought created such a gnawing emptiness in my gut that I couldn't acknowledge it.

Rosalie stood up and took a step toward me. I looked up into her sad, pale blue eyes. "Don't take away Bella's choice, Edward," she said softly. And with that she turned and left the room.

The weight of her words crushed me. She had only reiterated what Carlisle and Esme had already told me, and what I knew was the truth. If Bella remained human, she would grow older and leave me behind for a real life, as she should. If I selfishly turned her into a vampire, she would never have a normal life or a family of her own, other than a make-shift version like the Cullens had fashioned for themselves. And she would have to separate herself from her parents when her eternally youthful appearance became impossible to explain away.

I couldn't even allow myself to think of the worst-case scenario: that I would make a horrible mistake, and end her life in an instant with so much as an errant flick of my wrist.

These thoughts weighed heavily on me for the rest of the day, and I sleep-walked through my shifts at the bar. Emmett demanded to know what Rosalie had said to me to make me so depressed. I assured him it wasn't her fault, and that she had only pointed out the obvious to me in a way that hit home. Emmett didn't question me any further, but his mind revealed that he had a notion of what my internal struggles were. He didn't condone me spending any more time with Bella, either, and I couldn't blame him.

I dedicated the rest of the week to immersing myself in anything that would take my mind off of her. I spent most of my free time at the Cullen house, losing myself in the immense literary collection in Carlisle's library, listening to the family's eclectic music collection, playing Esme's gorgeous piano, and battling for supremacy over Emmett and Jasper in dozens of video game wars. I learned their individual stories: how Jasper had been turned into a vampire while serving in the Confederate army in the 1860s, feeding on humans and warring with other vampires during nearly 100 years of skirmishes in the south until he found Alice and changed his way of life; how Carlisle had helped his father persecute supposed witches, werewolves and vampires in 17th century London until the fateful day he discovered a real coven of vampires and was attacked; how he found Esme after a suicide attempt in the 1920s and created his first vampire and mate, after two centuries of feeding only on animals and helping humans with his medical training.

I was astounded to find out how long these seemingly young, beautiful creatures had already roamed the earth. They traveled from place to place, never able to spend more than a decade in any one location without arousing suspicion. They had lived in Forks once before, in the 1930s. They had chosen its rainy clime as home again three years ago. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice had attended high school and college numerous times, and had a display case full of graduation caps to prove it. And I was surprised to discover that Emmett and Rosalie were actually husband and wife, as were Jasper and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie were fond of renewing their vows every decade or so, often leaving the others for extended periods of honeymooning.

They had found a way to make lives for themselves that were as close to a human existence as possible, and the more I learned about them, the more grateful I was that I had stumbled upon them so soon after my transformation. I wasn't sure what would have happened to me if I had been forced to live the life of a nomad, never finding a place where I could truly be accepted. I was beginning to feel that the Cullen household was that place. Even Rosalie was starting to warm up to me since I had stopped mentioning Bella and had stayed away from her all week.

I felt horrible for not calling Bella, especially when I had promised her last weekend that I would see her again soon. No wonder she doubted my feelings for her when it probably looked like I could turn them on and off like a light switch. I knew it was better to nip our relationship in the bud before it went any further, but it pained me more than I ever dreamed it would. Every time I thought about her going out with that lame-brained Mike Newton, the bile rose in my throat. I would give anything to be the one to take her out that evening, to see her come to the front door in a beautiful dress, to hold her in my arms during a slow dance. Then, when I realized that I couldn't even take the girl to dinner without revealing another abnormality about myself, I was reminded why I should let her go and find happiness with the Mike Newtons of the world.

By Friday it had become pretty obvious that I was now an honorary Cullen, of sorts. Esme showed me a long, narrow guest room on the second floor that no one was using, and she asked me once again to make it my own. I studied the daybed situated against a bank of windows overlooking the woods below; the antique desk and beside table that Esme had restored; and a wall of wooden shelving units not unlike those in the conservatory downstairs, waiting for me to fill them with CDs and books of my choosing. I didn't hesitate this time. I wanted a place to call "home." I told Esme I'd gather my meager belongings from the gym lockers I'd been using at FHS and bring them back to the house that night.

Her bear hug and huge smile were more than enough reward for my decision. "I know I'm not old enough to be your mother, Edward… that's true of all of you," she admitted. "But I consider you family already. Wherever we make our home, you will always be welcome."

"Thanks, Esme," I said a bit bashfully. "That means more to me than you know."

She smiled and hugged me again, and I set off for the high school with a bit of peace in my soulless body that I thought I'd never find.

School had ended about an hour earlier, so I expected to have to sneak past a few students who might have after-school activities. It was a Friday afternoon, so I imagined that most of them would have high-tailed it out of the place as soon as they could. As I approached the gym, I was hit with the double whammy of Bella's smooth alto voice and the ubiquitous floral bouquet that accompanied her.

"No, too cheesy," she was saying loudly. "I mean, I know we want lots of sparkly stuff, but there is such a thing as overkill."

I was overwhelmed by my reaction to simply knowing she was in the building. God help me, I would never get over this girl as long as I stayed in this town, I thought miserably. I sneaked into the side door that opened behind the folded bleachers, and I lurked there, catching sight of her between the wooden bench slats. She was wearing her usual thermal shirt, this one pale green with a tiny, washed-out floral pattern throughout. Her jeans were, as always, tight from hips to ankles, making it easy for me to imagine her long, ivory legs hidden beneath them. She stood with one Converse-covered foot propped on the other, arms crossed, studying a canopy of fake glitter-covered decorations that hung at varying lengths from the rafters above. Jessica Stanley stood perched near the top of a tall step-ladder, balancing a giant glitter ball on the seat of the ladder and glaring down at Bella. Angela Weber held the ladder steady below while Jessica launched into a small tirade.

"Fucking hell, Bella, it's a dance! I know disco balls are cheesy, but they make cool patterns on the floor when the lights hit them. I told the DJ we'd have it all set up and he's bringing this killer light show. It'll be awesome. You've got to trust me on this. I mean, shit, it's not like we have some Prom-sized budget to make this crap-hole look like a winter wonderland," she scowled, and went back to hoisting the decoration up over the rafter with a hooked instrument. It swung perilously for a moment, and I wondered if I would bother to rush to her aid if it accidentally hit her in the head.

Jessica managed to steady the mirror ball and checked to make sure it was secure. At that moment, I heard the irritating sound of Mike Newton's voice boom through the silence.

"Dammit Jessica, I told you to wait until I got here!" he exclaimed, rushing in the room from the front entrance and helping her as she descended from the ladder. "I told you girls to wait to do the heavy-duty stuff so I could help you. You could have hurt yourselves," he scolded.

"Geezus, Mike, we're not helpless, you know," Jessica growled at him. It seemed she was still harboring a grudge against both Mike and Bella over their impending date. I wasn't too happy about it myself, and unfortunately that thought made me realize this might be the first and last time I'd ever agree with Jessica Stanley about anything. "If you wanted to help, then you should have chewed Lauren's ass for being 'sick' today and leaving us in the lurch." She made quotation marks with her fingers as she said the word "sick," adding an eye roll for emphasis. "Please. I know that wench is just getting her nails done and her dress fitted," she muttered.

Bella sighed heavily and trudged over to her friends, while they continued to argue over who should have done what on the decorating committee. She looked like she'd rather be anywhere else than in this gym with them. I couldn't believe she'd gotten herself into this unwanted date just because she thought I was interested in Jessica. How she ever could have imagined such a thing was beyond me. I would rather have stuck pins in my eyes (if that were physically possible anymore) than listen to that girl for another minute.

I managed to tear my eyes away from Bella and head back to the boys' locker room, where I filled a large duffel bag with the clothes and shoes I'd hidden in a couple of remote corner lockers. I deliberated for a moment, wondering what to do. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving this building as long as Bella was in it, and yet I was tired of eavesdropping on her like a criminal. She didn't deserve that. And if I were truly going to let her go, I would need to break myself of this habit.

I heard their faint voices still bickering as I exited from the side door again, and I wandered by Bella's locker, inhaling deeply like some sad, starving addict as I passed. I kept walking down to the band room, which was blessedly empty. I sat down at the piano that had been my only friend for so many nights, and ran my fingers over the keys absently until a melody began to take shape. I lost track of time as I played, and the melancholy tune morphed into Bella's song, as it often did. Though this piano was a mere shadow of the masterful instrument in the Cullen house, it struck a sentimental chord for me, and I enjoyed making it sing as much as I did the Steinway. Lost in my own thoughts, I barely registered the lilac and freesia scent that began to permeate the room, burning my throat as it always did. The smell, sight and sound of Bella was so much a part of my subconscious that I didn't realize she was actually in the room until the crash of a high-hat hitting the tiled floor behind me jolted me out of my dream world. I whipped my head toward the sound and found her clumsily picking up the cymbals she'd accidentally knocked to the floor, her face flooded pink with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled in a humiliated voice. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. That was so…." she trailed off, shaking her head and wringing her hands together. I wanted to rush to her, but I forced myself to sit still, letting her finish. "I didn't know you played. I didn't know you could… you're… really talented," she finished haltingly, looking down at the floor, blushing furiously.

_I love you. _It was the first, the only, thought that popped into my head. I wanted to blurt it out loud, make her understand, make her believe it. I didn't care about anything else in this world except her, standing there, feeling uncomfortable when she should feel nothing but confident that she was loved and adored.

I took a deep breath and instead simply said, "Thank you." I stared at her until her eyes lifted up to mine. "Come here," I ordered softly. She gazed at me uncertainly, then walked toward me and stopped a couple of feet from the piano bench. "Sit down," I told her, scooting to the side and patting the seat next to me. She bit her lip and obeyed, and when I turned my face to hers, we were mere inches away. My mouth watered and I held my breath, her scent momentarily assaulting me to the point of insanity. I closed my eyes briefly and turned my head away, then from the corner of my eye I saw her slump and look down. How could my slightest movement away from her affect her like that? Unless she felt as deeply for me as I did for her, God help her.

I tried to lighten the mood. "It's late. What are you still doing in school? Did you get detention or something?" I teased.

"Of course not!" she protested. "I had to help decorate for Winter Formal. Jessica signed me up weeks ago when she was still speaking to me."

I let out a short laugh. "You mean she's not speaking to you now?"

"Well, yeah, she is, but I'll be glad when tomorrow night is over with and we can all forget I ever agreed to go out with Mike," she said with an irritated sigh.

"I wouldn't worry too much about her," I said. "I'm not sure how good of a friend she is to you anyway. What if the situation were reversed? Do you think she'd be as worried about your feelings as you are about hers?"

She gave me a look that indicated she understood what I was getting at.

"I'm pretty sure that if I had given Jessica the time of day last weekend, she wouldn't have thought twice about your reaction," I told her.

Her eyebrow raised playfully. "You think pretty highly of yourself," she accused.

"No. I just read people pretty well," I smiled. "Except for you. You usually keep me guessing."

She looked surprised. "I always feel like I'm an open book. My mom always told me I could never hide anything; that it was always written all over my face."

"Maybe," I said dubiously, though I didn't see how that was true. "I don't know. You always seem to surprise me."

"How so?" she asked, her face curious.

"Well, just when I think you're pretty shy and quiet, you'll do or say something really bold that I didn't expect. Keeps me off balance." I grinned at her sideways and started noodling on the piano keys to keep my nervous hands busy. "I like it, though," I assured her.

She bit her lip, and as always, I wanted to kiss her. I concentrated on the piano instead. Her eyes watched my fingers for a moment, and then she asked, "How did you learn to play?"

"I don't know. I think it just comes naturally, like I was born knowing how to do it," I mused, my fingers moving up the scale in a minor chord pattern, my arm brushing against the warm fabric of her shirtsleeve. "I remember my mom used to sit with me and show me how to hold my hands correctly over the keyboard, like this." I demonstrated the proper form, and glanced at Bella. Her eyes were enormous with shock, her mouth hanging open.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. "Do you realize what you just said?"

I thought for a moment, and then realized that I had spoken about my mother. A memory from my childhood had come to the surface, as naturally as I would remember what I'd had for breakfast this morning, if I could still eat. My shocked face mimicked hers, and a thrill of excitement ran through me. "I remembered her," I whispered in wonder. "It's vague…but I can feel her, sitting there next to me, with her arms around me."

Bella's eyes shone with happiness for me. "You had a memory. A real memory of your family, Edward! Maybe this is just the beginning… maybe you'll have more!" She squeezed my bicep between her warm fingers and gave me a smile that would melt an iceberg. It certainly worked wonders on my cold heart, which thudded in response.

"That would be nice," I said, afraid to hope for anything more. "Maybe if I don't push it, things will come back to me naturally, in time." I wasn't sure how I felt about that, since my parents were dead. With memories would come emotions…and those emotions would include grief. Maybe I was better off as I was.

"I'm so happy for you," Bella sighed, and she put her arm around my waist, her hand burning through my cotton shirt, as she rested her head for a moment on my shoulder. I laid the side of my face against the thick brown hair on top of her head, and felt the heat from her scalp warming my skin. If I could press every inch of her body against mine, would I absorb her warmth through osmosis? Or would my clammy skin chill her to the bone? I pulled my head away, and Bella did the same, but her high had not worn off.

"So what are you doing here, anyway? You didn't come here looking for me, did you?" Bella asked, looking a smidge hopeful that maybe I had. If she only knew the lengths I had already gone to in order to see her, she'd sic her dad and his police buddies on me.

"I like to sneak in here after hours and use the music room, and sometimes the library," I admitted to her with a laugh. "Lame, huh?"

"Well, not when you can play like that. Seriously, Edward… that was the most beautiful song I've ever heard. What is it? Did you write it?"

I looked at her and debated telling her the truth. I opted for half of it. "Yeah, I did. It's just a melody I've been playing with for awhile. I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. You're amazing. It's kind of annoying, actually," she sniffed, and I chuckled at her pout. "I mean, is there anything you _can't_ do, Edward?"

_I can't tell you what I am. I can't tell you what I did to you. I can't be human for you. _

"Sure," I answered, ignoring those painful truths. "I can't read your mind. I can't remember most of my past. And I can't take you to the dance tomorrow night, but I would, if I could," I grinned, playing a grandiose little riff on the piano.

She sighed dramatically. "You have no idea how badly I wish you could do that last one," she said. "But it's too late for me to back out now. Mike already rented a suit."

"And what are you wearing?" I asked her, knowing that I'd be eating my heart out when I heard the answer.

"Oh, just some dress I had to wear to my cousin's wedding last summer," she said nonchalantly. "It's too bare to wear here this time of year, but I'll just throw some kind of sweater over it. I don't really care." She made a dismissive face.

"'Too bare?'" I prodded. "You know you can't say something like that to a guy without a little more explanation."

She laughed and a tinge of red painted her cheeks. "Sorry, it's not revealing or anything like that. It's got this sort of halter neck, with a bare back. It's periwinkle blue. It's simple, but it's pretty."

I wondered if my eyes revealed how turned on I felt, imagining the milky expanse of flesh this dress would reveal… to Mike Newton, of all people. My eyes narrowed and I fought off the urge to say something petty. "It sounds nice. I wish I could see it."

"Well, maybe I'll wear it for you sometime," she said, cocking one eyebrow at me suggestively.

"There!" I said emphatically. "What you just said…there's an example of how you surprise me. You seem kind of innocent…and then this little devil pops out, every now and then, just to make me wonder."

Her cheeks reddened again, but she didn't miss a beat. "I told you at the Halloween party that that was the real me," she said. "I can't help it if you don't believe me."

"I guess I should know by now that I can usually take what you tell me at face value," I said. "Still, you are a complex woman, Bella Swan."

She laughed and gave me a playful shove. "So what else do you do for fun, Edward Masen? Besides hang out in a school you don't even attend."

"Hey, don't knock it! This place is like the YMCA. It even has a pool. I like to go swimming. Oh, and by the way, I've had a slight change of identity," I added, pulling my wallet out and showing her my new driver's license. She stared at it in surprise.

"Edward Cullen?" she queried, studying it with knitted brows. "Did the Cullens adopt you or something?"

"Well, not officially," I said. "But they did ask me to move in with them, and I decided to do it," I told her. "I mean, I was staying in this little abandoned cabin in the woods, so it was kind of a no-brainer when Esme offered me a room."

"Wow, that's great!" Bella said sincerely. "I always wondered where you were living, since you mentioned wanting to get a place of your own. But that house is gorgeous, and huge. I wouldn't say no, either, if they offered to take me in. Alice didn't even tell me that you were moving in with them!" she added with a pout, as if we were keeping a secret from her. If she only knew how many.

"I've been hanging out at the Cullens' a lot this week, but Alice is always at school when I'm there, and I'm at work when she's home. Esme just asked me to move in today," I explained. "It's been nice being there; having other people around. They kind of feel like family already, in a weird way." I could never explain to her just how weird.

"Well, obviously they do, since you already changed your name on your driver's license," Bella said, still looking a little perplexed.

"It wasn't really my idea," I admitted. "Emmett got the I.D. for me. It's a forgery. He forgot to tell the guy that I wasn't a Cullen-it was just an honest mistake." I shrugged and looked at the license briefly before shoving the wallet back in my jeans pocket.

"Well, maybe it happened for a reason," Bella suggested. "Maybe you're meant to be a Cullen. It does have a nice ring to it. 'Edward Cullen.'" She smiled up at me, then looked puzzled again. "I still don't know why you didn't just report your missing license though, even if you don't remember who you were. You're still Edward Masen, after all. Nothing has really changed."

I sighed and wondered how to explain it to her. "But it feels like things _have _changed, to me. I don't know who Edward Masen is anymore. I don't know if I can be that guy, or if I want to be. Maybe you're right. Maybe the name on the license wasn't a mistake. Maybe Edward Cullen is who I am now, who I'm meant to be." And as I said the words, I felt their impact, felt their truth.

"Well, then, it's nice to meet you, Edward Cullen," Bella said, sticking out her hand in greeting. I stared at it uneasily, not wanting to place my cold hand in hers. I'd touched her before, but we were outdoors, and the temperature of my skin could be explained away. There were no excuses to hide behind now.

But maybe I was tired of hiding, and too weak to resist Bella any longer. If I couldn't push her away, maybe I could scare her away. Perhaps the truth could accomplish what lies could not.

I grasped her hand firmly in mine and held it there. "The pleasure is all mine, Isabella Swan." I was sure that truer words were never spoken, as the flames from her skin licked up my fingers and burned into my palm. She let out a tiny gasp, but her eyes never left mine. She didn't let go of my hand; she didn't pull away. We sat locked in the grip of a handshake that felt more like a tug of war, staring at one another, each daring the other to give up.

Agonizing seconds ticked away. Neither of us spoke. Her eyes seemed to tell me that she knew there was something different about me, something wrong with me. But her lips said nothing. I wondered if it were just stubbornness holding her here, sheer bravado keeping her from following what common sense would dictate. I relented finally and released her hand, then rose from the piano bench.

"It's late," I said shakily, running my still-warm hand through my hair. "Your dad is probably wondering where you are."

Bella sat still for a moment, staring in the vicinity of my shoes. "Charlie knows I was staying late with the girls to decorate the gym. I told him we were all going out for pizza. He's not expecting me for awhile." She looked up at me with steely green eyes. "So, do you really go swimming in here at night when no one's around?"

A charge crackled through my body. Was she really suggesting what I thought she was? Surely not. That couldn't be where her thoughts were headed. "Yeah, I do, after the janitors leave," I answered cautiously. "It's nice, swimming at night. It's relaxing." My body felt anything but relaxed as I contemplated Bella joining me for a moonlight swim.

"I've never been in the pool here after dark," she said quietly. Was she waiting for an invitation? My eyes searched hers for the answer, since her mind would reveal nothing to me.

"Do you want to go check it out?" I asked, my voice raspy. I cleared my throat nervously, and for some reason, my moment of insecurity seemed to spur her to action. She jumped up and headed for the door, grabbing her backpack off the floor where she'd dropped it earlier. She turned to me and said, "Let's go."

I picked up my duffel bag of clothes, thankful that Bella didn't ask what was in it. I wasn't sure I wanted to admit I'd actually been staying here in the school, since she thought just hanging out after hours was weird enough. I followed her through the hallway to the other side of the building, where an indoor/outdoor pool had been added some years before. I led her down a narrow hallway to a side door that opened directly to the pool, which I had always found unlocked, for some odd reason. Normally kids had to enter through two separate locker rooms before entering the pool area.

We stood for a moment in silence, listening to the softly lapping water. The full-sized swimming pool was entirely indoors, but the far wall led to an outdoor patio area for sunbathing when the weather permitted. An accordion-like folding door separated the pool from the patio, and moonlight streamed through its giant glass panels, creating rectangles of glistening reflections down the length of the pool.

"It's beautiful," Bella breathed, her green eyes reflecting the patterns on the water.

"Yes, it is," I agreed softly, though I spoke only of her exquisite face in the moonlight.

She turned to look at me, and our eyes locked, a delicious tension hanging in the damp air between us. I wanted to touch her and kiss her so badly that I could barely think. Thankfully, her brain seemed to be in slightly better working order.

"Do you have swim trunks?" she asked. "Or do you usually go skinny dipping?"

God, she was really going there, wasn't she? "I don't have a swim suit," I answered, a grin twisting my lips before I could stop it. "Sometimes I wear my underwear, though."

"I don't have a bathing suit here, either," she said. "I don't have swimming this semester."

I studied her face, desperate for some clue as to what she was really planning to do here. I didn't want to blow it by assuming too much, or too little, for that matter.

"…but I could swim in my underwear, too, I suppose," she offered, never taking her eyes from mine. I couldn't drown in the water, but I wasn't so sure about the depths of those sea-green orbs of hers.

I let out a ragged breath. "You really want to do this?" I asked her, giving her one last out.

She nodded slowly. "The pool is still heated at night, right?" she asked, her face showing the first sign of trepidation.

"Yeah, the water's really warm," I assured her, although I was certainly no accurate judge.

"Okay, then. I'm in," she said firmly, almost a little defiantly. Maybe she was getting a kick out of sneaking in here after hours. Or maybe she was going to prove that she wasn't afraid of me, even though she clearly knew that there was something odd about my makeup.

She kicked off her shoes, and I did the same. She hesitated, looking a little uncomfortable.

"I'll go first," I said, beginning to unbutton my shirt. Her eyes were glued to my fingers as I undid the buttons, one after the other, her gaze alone making the hairs on my arms stand up. I felt almost embarrassed myself as I peeled the garment off and tossed it to the bleachers on my left. Her eyes raked over my chest and down my stomach, and I felt my cock stiffen under her intense appraisal. God, this _was_ going to get embarrassing. But she couldn't be surprised at how much I wanted her, could she? Not after that moment in her truck, not after I kissed her in the bar.

She started to pull at the hem of her shirt, and her flushed face gave away her anxiety.

"I won't peek, I promise," I offered, turning my back to her so she could undress. I heard her exhale, then saw her discarded shirt land next to mine on the bench. I unbuttoned the fly on my jeans and eased them down my legs, glad that she couldn't see the raging hard-on struggling against the knit fabric of my gray boxer-briefs. We hadn't even had a real date, so disrobing and revealing my cock pointing straight at her as if marking its next conquest seemed like way too much, too soon.

When I caught sight of her jeans joining mine on the bleachers, I spoke over my shoulder. "On the count of three, we both jump in, okay?" I suggested.

"Okay," she agreed. In unison we counted, and at three, I turned and cannon-balled into the deep end. I saw her flying in a few feet away out of the corner of my eye, and heard her scream of laughter before the water closed over me. I plummeted quickly to the bottom of the 12 feet of water, once again forgetting my superhuman strength. I was sure I'd sent quite a tidal wave in all directions, and hoped I hadn't cracked the cement at the bottom of the pool.

When I resurfaced, I looked around for Bella. I finally saw her a few yards away, sputtering and pushing her wet hair out of her eyes. "Geezus, Edward!" she yelled. "I think they felt that out in Puget Sound."

I laughed and swam toward the 5-foot mark, where she bobbed up and down in the water, probably touching the bottom intermittently with her feet.

"I'm not a very good swimmer," she admitted, confirming my suspicions. "The deep end makes me kind of nervous."

I reached out my hand. "Hang on to me," I told her. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I believe you," she replied softly. She looked up at me from beneath wet eyelashes, and I watched the water make crystalline patterns on her creamy skin as it rolled down her face. I had never seen her look more beautiful than she did right now, her hair in messy wet waves on her neck, her cheeks shining in the moonlight.

She took my hand, and I wondered briefly if my skin felt any warmer now that I was immersed in the heated pool. Maybe that had even occurred to her-that I might be more touchable this way. Assuming, of course, that she had the desire to touch me.

I swam backward toward the deep end, pulling Bella with me. She floated forward, her face tilted up, trying to keep from sinking as the bottom of the pool fell away. I pulled her closer and wrapped her arm around my neck while I began to tread water, moving in slow, small circles. She clung to me, her face inches from mine, her eyes staring at me with complete trust.

"So, you're a great swimmer, too. It figures," she finally said, breaking the spell and making me laugh.

"It's not that hard," I insisted. "If you can't tread water, you can just float, on your back or your stomach. Try it."

"No way," she said with a small laugh, her arm tightening around my neck. "I'd probably float right into the side of the pool and knock myself unconscious in the dark."

I did laugh out loud then, realizing that I could see much better in the dim room than she could. This probably was a little scary for her, even with the moon cutting swaths of light across the water.

"I told you I'd never let anything happen to you, and I meant it," I reminded her.

She looked at me and her face became serious. "I know that. And I know you probably could stop me from getting hurt, before it even happened. You've done it before." She paused and looked at me expectantly. I wondered if she had remembered what really happened with the falling tree branch, and was waiting for me to make some sort of confession or explanation.

We bobbed gently up and down in the water, circling slowly, my preternatural limbs easily keeping us afloat. I touched the side of her face, my thumb rubbing her cheek. Her eyes closed and her lips parted, and the urge to kiss her was too strong to resist.

"Maybe I only have those instincts when it comes to you," I whispered before I pressed my lips against hers. She responded instantly, her arm pulling us closer, her other hand stroking my jaw, her fingers sinking into the wet curls behind my ear. Like the first time we kissed, it quickly became hungry, searching, passionate. We broke away only long enough for me to tread water and keep us afloat. It became a strange water ballet, fingers caressing each other, tongues teasing and tasting each other and then breaking away briefly, only to find one another again.

"Oh God, Edward," she finally sighed, and I moaned at the sound of my name escaping her lips. I kissed her deeply, my hand tangling in her wet hair, massaging the back of her head. My lips traveled across her face and down her ivory neck, grazing the faded scars I'd caused so many weeks ago. I kissed them gently, reverently, knowing in that moment that there was no possible way I'd ever inflict this type of harm upon her again.

Suddenly Bella gasped loudly and stiffened in my arms. I lifted my head quickly to find her staring at me in confusion. She ran her hand down the side of my face, over my lips and down my neck, studying me as if she'd never seen me before. Terror seized me before she could utter the words.

"I just had the weirdest déjà vu…" she said, brows furrowed, eyes still traveling all over my features. "…as if I've been with you like this before… like I've seen your face, your hair, all wet, in the moonlight." Her fingers slowly traced my hairline. "You're like a work of art," she whispered.

My heart slammed against my ribs, and it was all I could do to keep the panic from welling up in my chest. I shook my head slightly, unable to find a reply, praying like mad that the moment would pass and her memories would go no further.

Her hands continued to play in my hair. "Of course, that's crazy. I've never been swimming with you before," she said with laugh. "Deja vus are so weird, aren't they?" She leaned in and gave me several small, wet kisses all over my mouth and jaw. "I must have just been wishing that I'd been with you like this before," she sighed.

I smiled feebly in response, trying like hell to hide my inner turmoil. What if the day came when she realized this had been no déjà vu? I knew I should tell her the truth before she figured it out on her own, but the thought made me so sick inside that I could scarcely consider it.

I maneuvered us away from the deep end and into shallower waters so that we could both stand on our feet again. "Are you tired?" she asked me, her arms still around my neck, her feet not touching the bottom. I would have laughed out loud at that notion if I weren't so shaken up inside.

"No, I'm fine," I assured her. "I just thought maybe you'd had enough of hanging onto me for dear life in the dark," I tried to joke.

"No way," she protested. "That was the best part. I like hanging onto you in the dark," she said, her voice husky. She began kissing me again, and I couldn't help but respond. It was like I was programmed to abandon all logic when I was with her, and just live in that perfect moment, breathing her in, savoring the sweet torture of her essence. She circled her arms tighter around my neck and hoisted herself up in the water, wrapping her legs around my waist. My hands instinctually grabbed her thighs to catch her and hold her in place, and a groan ripped from my throat at the sensation of her body pressed against mine, straddling me.

"God, Bella, what are you trying to do to me?" I begged her in between kisses.

"I'm trying to make you want me as much as I want you," she murmured, arching her hips, pressing her bare stomach against mine. She tried to kiss me again, but I pulled my head back, gaping at her in disbelief. How could she have just said that? How could she still doubt my desire, my need for her?

"Wait a minute," I said, shaking my head. I let go of her and let her drift away from me. Her face morphed from confusion to humiliation, and frustration fueled me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her gently. "Follow me," I ordered, swimming toward the shallowest end of the pool, pulling her with me. When we stood at last, the water lapped a few inches below the waistband of my briefs, and hit Bella right at her waist. A series of ledges descended from the poolside into the shallow water, and I pushed her back toward the top ledge, ignoring her surprised gasp as I lifted her up to sit on it, exposing her nearly naked body in all its moonlit glory. My hungry eyes explored every part of her, watching the glistening rivulets of water run down her heaving chest, her flat stomach, the gentle curve of her hips, and over her creamy thighs. I stared shamelessly at the outline of her taut nipples, clearly visible through the thin, pale-blue wet cotton of her unpadded bra. I studied the small indentation of her hips, disappearing under a flimsy matching string bikini that barely covered the mound between her legs.

After caressing every inch of her body thoroughly with my eyes, I looked up into her anxious face and tried to convey every ounce of desire I had for her with one intense, unguarded gaze. I placed my hand gently but firmly under her chin, not letting her look away.

"Isabella Swan," I began, my voice thick with emotion. "How can you possibly doubt how much I want you? How much I need you?" I let my fingers fall slowly down her neck, tracing the hollow of her throat and collarbone, and drifting down the valley between her perfect, pert breasts. "You are the most beautiful thing in the world to me," I whispered, trailing my hand down her flat stomach, over the recess of her belly button and down the soft skin of her abdomen, stopping just shy of her panties. Goose bumps rose on her stomach, spreading quickly over her body-angry welts that reminded me how uncomfortable my touch must feel to her now that she was out of the warm water, the air cooling her skin.

I frowned and whispered, "I'm sorry," backing away from her and despairing of ever being able to love her the way she deserved.

She instantly grabbed my arm to stop me from retreating any further. It was her turn to grasp my face, willing me to look up into her flashing green eyes. "Edward Cullen," she said, my name sounding like the Hallelujah chorus falling from her lips. She spoke slowly, softly, deliberately. "Don't you ever apologize for touching me again."

And with those words, I was lost. I crushed her mouth in a kiss, but she didn't crumble or break. She only kissed me back fiercely, her hands twisting in my hair and grasping my shoulders to draw me nearer. I grabbed her thighs and pulled her flush against me, the heat between her legs searing my throbbing cock through the thin wet layers of cotton. I moaned and gasped like an animal into her mouth as her warm hands wandered down my back and then my front, rubbing my nipples with her fingers, stroking the thickening trail of hair down to the waistband of my briefs and pausing there, coaxing a whimper of submission out of me as I buried my lips in her neck to stifle it. My right hand grasped the perfect round cheek of her ass while my left stroked the nipple of her breast into a hard pink knot under my fingers. It was her turn to gasp and moan, her groin pushing hard against mine, legs wrapping around me, hands clutching my back.

"Bella, God help me, I can't stay away from you anymore," I said between ragged breaths and hungry kisses.

"Good," was the reply from her pink and swollen lips. "I can't take any more of you disappearing on me, Edward," she said in an almost desperate tone. "I can't take it. You have to let me in." She held my face still for a moment and looked deeply into my eyes. "Please," she pleaded quietly.

I tried to slow my frantic breathing, and my forehead fell against hers. I didn't know how I could ever reveal my dark secrets and not lose her. But it was becoming clear that if I didn't try, losing her would become a certainty.

I nodded slowly and pressed my closed lips firmly on hers.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, her hands gently stroking the sides of my face.

I nodded again and replied, "Yes," my voice a mere crumb as I yielded to her.

"That's good," she said, sounding relieved. "You know I won't let anything bad happen to you," she echoed my promises back to me with a small smile. "If I can help it."

I mustered a weak grin before my forehead creased in anguish. "You've already saved me ten times over, Bella. You don't even know…." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Then tell me," she said softly.

I sighed and entwined my fingers in her long hair, playing with the thick locks. I finally looked into her eyes and said, "I will someday. I promise."

She looked ready to protest when the sound of electronic music suddenly pierced the muggy air. "My phone," she sighed, looking back at the bleachers where our clothes and bags lay.

"It's probably your dad," I said, glancing up at the clock on the wall. It was already close to 7 o'clock, and I was supposed to be at Jake's any minute. "You'd better get it," I said, reluctantly letting her go. I felt the shock of cold emptiness the minute her warm body left mine. I watched her run to find her phone, admiring every slender curve and wondering if I was doomed to walk around with a perpetual hard-on whenever I was with her.

I ascertained that it was Charlie who had called, and I excused myself to the boys' shower room to grab some towels for the both of us. When I returned, she was just hanging up, assuring her father that she'd be home soon, her face registering disappointment as I approached. As she clicked off the phone, I wrapped a large towel around her shivering body and held her in my arms for a moment. She buried her face in my chest, and my hands lost themselves in her hair yet again. I lifted her face to mine and kissed her gently, then asked if there were hair dryers in the girls' locker room. I didn't want her to get sick by going out into the cold with wet hair.

She laughed and told me I was a worrywart, but added that she liked it. My eyes followed her until she disappeared into the shower room, toting her dry clothes with her. I rinsed off in the boys' room, towel-dried my hair and dressed, then waited for Bella to emerge from the girls' showers. She didn't take too long. I fell for her all over again when I saw her, fresh-scrubbed and pink-cheeked, her hair spilling in slightly damp waves down her back. Her unique perfume cut through the chlorine-scented air and burned my mouth as if it had been days, not minutes, since I'd endured the torturous smell of her blood. I would never cease to be amazed at how many ways this girl continued to be my undoing.

"Do you have to work tonight?" she asked as I walked her to her car.

I nodded in reply. "Yeah, I told Emmett I'd cover his shift so he and Rosalie can go to Port Angeles this evening. There's some chick flick she's dying to see. I've worked every night this week, so he owes me," I laughed.

"Well, maybe he can do the same for you and me some night," Bella suggested, her expression cautiously hopeful.

"That sounds like a plan," I said emphatically, an idea suddenly popping into my head. As soon as I thought of it, I knew I would have to follow it through. "In fact, I know exactly how he can repay me."

"You do?" Bella asked, her eyes brightening. "What do you have in mind?"

"Hmmm…" I mused, grinning at her mischievously. "No, I can't tell you, that would ruin the surprise."

She huffed in frustration. "I don't like surprises," she said warily, unlocking her truck and throwing her book bag onto the passenger seat. She turned and looked up at me imploringly. "Can you give me a hint?"

"Nope," I answered firmly. "But I will tell you, I'm pretty sure you'll like this surprise. I hope so, anyway."

"Argh!" she growled. "So cryptic."

I laughed and pulled her to me, kissing her repeatedly until she sighed and said, "Good diversion tactic, Cullen."

"Mmm, it worked then," I chuckled, giving her several more pecks until she pushed me away in mock irritation.

"When are you going to get a phone?" she complained.

"Soon. Next week, I promise."

"When am I going to see you again?"…more plaintive this time.

"Very soon. Sooner than you think."

She still looked a bit skeptical as she climbed in the cab of her truck. She leaned toward me and said somewhat bashfully, "Thanks for tonight."

"Don't thank me," I told her. "It's the best night I've ever had. Until the next one I spend with you, that is."

She let out a laugh and shook her head. "You're a hopeless romantic, you know that?" she teased. But the blush that crept over her face told me she liked it.

"You have no idea," I replied, raising one eye brow suggestively and giving her a slight smirk. _But you're about to find out_.

I gave her a tender kiss before closing the truck door and watching her drive off in the direction of Charlie's house. I ran at vampire speed to relieve Emmett from his shift at the bar, but not before I made sure he could work for me tomorrow night. I decided that it was about time Bella Swan changed her mind about surprises.


	9. The Dance

_A quick note..._

Thanks to everyone who has checked out my story, favorited it or left comments...I am a complete "noob" to the world of fanfic, so I truly appreciate your feedback and support! I am currently working on Chapter 12, and will have the next few chapters up in the next week or two.

**_Bella_**

"Bella, your hair is a masterpiece, if I do say so myself."

Alice Cullen stepped back to admire her handiwork, clapping her hands together like a child who'd just discovered her favorite toy under the tree on Christmas morning.

"I hope you didn't do anything too crazy," I grumbled. "I'm really not interested in making Mike Newton any more infatuated with me than he already is."

"Forget Mike," Alice pooh-poohed as she rolled me, seated in my desk chair, around to face my dresser mirror. "This is all about you looking gorgeous and putting all those mean girls to shame when you walk into the dance tonight."

"'Mean Girls?'" I laughed. "Been watching bad cable movie re-runs, Alice? Jessica and Lauren aren't that bad." I looked up questioningly at Alice in the mirror. Her expression reeked of skepticism.

"Whatever you say, my deluded friend," she replied, her eyes rolling toward the ceiling.

I studied my hair in the mirror and I had to admit that it looked pretty good. Alice had somehow managed to weave tiny blue flowers into the barrettes that gently pulled my hair back from my face on either side. She left the back spilling in a cascade of curling-ironed tendrils down my back. It was subtle, but pretty.

Alice's face screamed impatience as I sat silently for a moment. "Well, what do you think?" she finally demanded excitedly.

"It looks very nice," I told her.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed with an exasperated sigh. "Now, was that so hard? You act like you're going to a funeral instead of a dance."

"You never know. If Jessica gets ticked off enough, it might turn into one---mine," I joked, only half-kidding.

"She got that Ben Chaney guy to be her date, right?" Alice recapped. "I heard he wanted to take Angela Weber, but Eric Yorkie beat him to the punch. So this will be perfect! You can push Mike off on Jessica, and Ben and Eric can duke it out over Angela."

"Great. Sounds like a recipe for disaster," I groaned.

"It'll be fine," Alice assured me in her usual laissez-faire manner. "Jasper and I will be there, so you can always come hang with us. Emmett and Rosalie even talked about crashing the party, just for kicks. They're feeling all sentimental about their high school days or something," she said with a look of incomprehension.

That left only one person out of the equation---the only person I really wanted to see.

Alice seemed to tune in to my brain waves. "I know we're not Edward," she grinned, putting emphasis on his name, "but we'll do in a pinch, right?"

I mustered a half-hearted smile. Alice had already informed me that Edward was working tonight, squelching any wild ideas I might have had about him striding into the gym like Prince Charming to rescue me from the certain humiliation of my impending date with Mike. If it weren't for Winter Formal looming, I would still be on Cloud Nine from the time I had spent with Edward the night before. I'd barely slept last night, unable to stop replaying the evening over and over in my mind, each time feeling the same electric thrill when I remembered the way he looked at me, touched me, kissed me. The things he said to me blew my mind. I could barely comprehend the idea that he really, truly seemed to be as attracted to me as I was to him. It didn't seem humanly possible.

And that, right there, was the crux of the problem. Maybe it wasn't humanly possible because Edward wasn't, strictly speaking, _human_ at all. Although I briefly entertained the notion that he might be an alien life form sent to Earth to make women crazy with desire and render all other males inferior by comparison, I realized that not only was that completely ridiculous, but also that I might be a bit biased concerning Edward's charms.

Edward Masen Cullen might not be an alien, but something far more life-altering than amnesia had happened to him in the woods last month. As bits of alcohol-soaked memories from the Cullen party came back to me, I realized that a foot-thick tree branch hadn't simply missed us by accident---he had literally tossed it out of the way like it was a toothpick. This boy had somehow, impossibly, acquired superhuman strength, speed and coordination. His skin was always cool to the touch, even in the steamy water of a heated pool; and it shone like luminescent pearl in the moonlight. His delicious smell of spice and woods and bread baking cut through even chlorinated water. I hadn't been able to keep my eyes, my hands, my lips, or my body off of him last night. He was a drug, and I was already a hopeless addict. Whatever had altered him felt like it had altered me, too, by extension. I was powerless to resist him, no matter what he was, human or otherwise.

"Earth to Bella," Alice interrupted my train of thought. "Wow, he really did a number on you last night, didn't he?" she grinned. I had told her the abbreviated version of what had happened. Most of it was too personal, too deep, for me to verbalize properly. But Alice could tell by the look on my face that I was a goner over the latest addition to her foster family.

"If it helps any, Edward was bouncing off the walls this morning," Alice continued. I gave her what I hoped wasn't too desperate a look, rabid for any bit of insider information she could give me about what Edward said and did when I wasn't around. "He couldn't stop smiling, and when I asked if it was because of you, he got all embarrassed and just grinned more. He's so shy…I don't know if you realize how shy he is! He comes across all cool, but it's just an act. He's just as insecure as the next guy."

"Edward?" I scoffed. "I find that hard to believe. I mean, look at him. He's gorgeous. Girls throw themselves at him. I watched grown women at the bar drool over him like he's a piece of meat. He can have anyone he wants…he has to know that."

"Yeah, well, he only wants you, and I think he still doesn't completely believe that you feel the same way about him," she said, fluffing my hair in the mirror and spritzing it with some unscented hair spray. "He has issues."

"Issues?" I repeated. "What kinds of issues?"

Alice pursed her lips. "I think he feels like he doesn't have anything to offer you. He's kind of lost, you know. Not knowing what the future holds." She grabbed my make-up bag off of the dresser and shook it at me in the mirror. "Can I do your make-up next? Please? Please-please-please-please-pretty-please, with sugar on top?"

I laughed in spite of myself at Alice's infectious enthusiasm for all things girly. "Just as long as you promise to do the exact opposite of my Elvira look for Halloween, okay?"

"Of course!" she laughed. "Subtle, irresistible beauty is what we're after this evening." She whirled me around in the chair again and began dusting my face with light powder foundation while I tried not to sneeze.

"I do NOT want to be irresistible to Mike Newton," I reminded her sternly before switching back to my favorite topic. "So, why is Edward worried about not having anything to offer me? He's only eighteen," I protested. "I don't have anything to offer him, either. We're still kids. He can still go to college if he wants to. His whole life is ahead of him." _Unless he knows he can't have a normal life, and he's just not telling me why,_ my mind persisted with its suspicions.

"Well, I think it has to do with the amnesia thing. Identity issues and stuff. He wants to create a new life, but I don't think he's sure how to do it yet. You know, it's the usual teenaged guy angst thing. Edward is kind of emo, now that I think about it," Alice giggled, brushing blush gently over my cheeks. "I keep telling him that everything is going to work out, but he doesn't believe me. He'll learn." A self-satisfied smile spread across her face.

"What are you, some kind of swami?" I asked with a laugh.

"You'd be surprised at my wisdom, Bella," Alice replied. "Now close your eyes so I can do your lids."

Alice finished my eye make-up in silence, and I thought about what she'd said. I simply couldn't picture Edward as the unsure figure she painted, but when I thought about it, there was uncertainty, maybe even pain, behind his beautiful blue eyes that belied his internal struggles. I became even more convinced that Edward was hiding something from me, something important. Something was holding him back, and it had kept him away from me even while he claimed that he cared for me. It seemed like one of those barriers had fallen last night, but I was beginning to think that the struggle was far from over.

"There! Bella Swan, you are a vision," Alice declared, again turning me to inspect my reflection in the mirror. She had worked her magic again. She had helped me feel sexy a couple of weeks ago, and now she had made me feel pretty, maybe even beautiful. The faintly smoky shadow and black eyelashes made the green in my eyes pop against my pale skin, and she had played up my full lips with a natural, rosy shade of lipstick and a dab of gloss over the top. I suddenly ached for Edward to see me like this; for Edward to be the one who would pick me up at the door and whisk me off to dinner in an hour.

"Wow, Alice," I said with a self-conscious smile. "You've missed your true calling---you're a miracle-worker."

"Oh, shut up, Bella!" Alice shook my shoulders slightly. "None of that poor, plain little ol' me crap. You're a knockout. Deal with it." She walked over to my closet and pulled the blue dress off its hanger, holding it out to me. "Put it on, I want to see the total look!" she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," I agreed grumpily, grabbing the dress. I stripped off my sweats and pulled the dress over my head, then held my hair out of the way while Alice tied the halter behind my neck. She pushed me in front of the mirror again, proclaimed me "gorgeous," and then began ransacking the floor of my closet.

"You said this was a bridesmaid dress, right? So where are the matching shoes?" she demanded.

"O-o-oh, no," I shook my head. "I am not killing myself in those things."

"Oh, yes you are," she insisted. "It's only a few hours. Rise to the occasion! Be a woman." She dug in the back corner of the closet and hit pay dirt.

"Ah ha! Buried, but not dead yet," she grinned evilly, procuring the strappy periwinkle blue heels from their pristine box. "Look, they even have rosettes on them, like your barrettes! I AM clairvoyant!" She laughed deliriously at her own joke.

"You're insane, is what you are," I mumbled, grabbing the shoes out of her hand and plopping on the bed so that I could cram my unwilling feet into their blue leather prisons for the evening. "There, are you happy?"

"Almost. Those toenails need some polish." I groaned loudly while she rifled through her purse until she found a bottle of pale, frosty polish. She fell at my feet and sat cross-legged, shaking the bottle of polish, apparently ready to give me a mini-pedicure.

"You're painting my toenails while they're in the shoes?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course. Desperate times call for desperate measures." She opened the bottle, placed my left foot on her knee, and began meticulously painting my pinky toenail.

"These might be desperate times, but not because I'm desperate for Mike to fall in love with my painted toenails. In fact, I think it would be a great idea to keep them bare so that he can be turned off by their grossness."

"Oh my God, Bella," Alice sighed, finishing my big toe with a flourish. "You are effed in the head. Your toenails are not gross. They just look prettier painted, that's all."

"My toenails _are_ gross. Feet are gross, in general," I insisted. "Strictly utilitarian. They hold you up, nothing more."

"Spoken like a girl who has never had a truly fabulous foot massage," Alice said, shaking her head as if I were missing out on the most orgasmic experience known to humankind. I supposed that if Edward were doing the massaging, she might be right. I still couldn't get over the dream that I'd had about him earlier in the week. I'd had the most vivid sex dream about him imaginable, which was all the more amazing considering that I was still a virgin. My sexual experiences thus far were limited to some minor experimentation at summer camp a few years ago with a slightly older camp counselor, and a few aborted fumblings in the back seats of cars with boys I simply didn't want to sleep with when it came right down to the crucial moment. No one had ever made me feel the way Edward made me feel. My dream about him had been so realistic that I swore I could feel him thrusting inside me, and the pleasure was so intense that I wondered if I had actually orgasmed in my sleep. When I found him a few days later in the FHS band room, playing the piano so beautifully, my face turned ten shades of pink at the memories of the things that Dream Edward had done to me. I stared at him for several minutes, wondering how one person could be so gifted, so graceful, so attractive, when I felt like none of those things. But if anyone could change how I felt about myself, it was Edward. He treated me as if I were the most special thing he'd ever laid his gorgeous eyes upon.

I stood and looked at my reflection in the full-length closet mirror, and I had to admit that the heels did add grace to my ensemble, at least until I would have to walk in the things. Alice stood behind me, beaming at my reflection.

"You look amazing! Every guy at this shindig tonight is going to be eating his heart out wanting you," she insisted.

"Great. As if I don't have enough problems with just Mike," I reminded her. I picked my vintage sweater up from the bed and pulled it over my bare shoulders. It, too, had blue flowers trimming its cream knit background. My outfit was matching to the point of inducing mild nausea. I was tempted to take a fuchsia handbag with me just to mess with the perfection a little. If I actually owned a fuchsia handbag, that is.

"Well, that sweater is definitely killing the look a little, if that's what you're going for," Alice sighed. "But you are nothing if not practical, Bella."

"Hey, I'm not going to freeze to death just so Mike can get a gander at my body, that's for sure," I told her. She rolled her eyes in reply, then announced that she needed to go prepare for the dance herself. I thanked her for helping me get ready, and she insisted it was her pleasure, which was probably true. I was pretty positive it was a lot more fun for her than for me. Now all I had to do was wait for Mike, Tyler and Lauren to show up. Apparently Tyler was taking us all to Port Angeles in his ancient blue van. I hoped Mike didn't have any funny ideas about sitting with me in the back seat. Too bad he hadn't asked Jessica. She probably would have been shoving him into the back of the van and giving him all sorts of thrills before the dance even started.

I decided catty thoughts were getting me nowhere, so I went downstairs to wait with Charlie for Mike to arrive. I wasn't interested in making a grand entrance down the stairs like I would have if Edward were waiting in the entryway for me. Again my thoughts wandered to how handsome he would look in a suit…and would he have brought some kind of corsage for me? Winter Formal was somewhat inappropriately named, because it was actually semi-formal, with the girls wearing short party dresses and the guys in suits and ties. Tuxes and gowns were reserved for Prom in the spring.

"Wow," Charlie said as I carefully picked my way down the staircase in my blue stilts. "You look beautiful, Bells," he said with a wistful, "my-baby's-all-grown-up" smile.

"Thanks, Dad," I answered, embarrassed.

"So, the Newton boy seems like a nice kid," he said. I nodded in reply. "You like him?"

Seriously? Was Charlie asking me about boys? The apocalypse was surely upon us.

"Sure, he's a nice guy," I said uncomfortably.

"Mmm-hmmm," Charlie mumbled skeptically. "You don't seem very excited."

"Well…there's kind of…someone else I'm interested in," I admitted. It popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Really," he stated rather than asked, a fleeting look of alarm crossing his face. "So where is he tonight, then?"

"He's working. He's out of school already. He works at Jake's Place," I told him, biting my lip. Charlie would probably not be impressed by that tidbit.

"He's a bartender?" he replied, in a tone of voice that did not disappoint.

"Yeah. But it's not like that's his life's goal or anything. He's thinking about going to college when he saves enough money." That might not be a lie, I told myself.

"Huh. So when do I get to meet his kid? Does he have a name?" Charlie said brusquely.

"Edward. Edward Cullen, actually. The Cullens have sort of taken him under their wing. He doesn't have any family and he's new in town," I explained, hoping that the Cullen name would soften Charlie's attitude toward a boy whom I actually liked. It worked, a little.

"Well, that's good. Doctor Cullen will be a good influence. I'm still grateful he chose to work in such a small town. I don't want to think about what could have happened to you if we hadn't had such a skilled surgeon right here in Forks," Charlie said darkly.

Thankfully, the front doorbell sounded before Charlie could grill me any further about Edward. Charlie opened the door, revealing a grinning Mike Newton in a charcoal gray suit, holding a box with a wrist corsage in one hand. Charlie gave Mike one of his patented Cop Stares in greeting.

Mike adjusted his collar nervously and said, "Hello, Chief Swan. How are you this evening?" He looked at me in a silent plea for help. I tried not to laugh. My father could be a bit intimidating when he wanted to be.

I got up and walked to the door as Charlie ushered him in. "Don't worry about how I am, kid," he told him. "Worry about yourself if you don't have my daughter safely back in this house before 1 a.m. tonight."

Mike's blue eyes grew rounder and I nudged Charlie out of the way, getting my coat out of the closet. "Take it easy, Dad. I'm sure we won't be out too late, right, Mike?"

"No sir, of course not, sir," Mike replied shakily, never taking his eyes off of Dad's eagle eyes and grimly set, mustachioed mouth.

"Come on, let's go," I said with a grin to Mike. I gave Charlie a warning look, and he told me to make sure I had my cell phone on me at all times. "Honestly, Dad," I sighed, following an eagerly retreating Mike out the door. "I'll see you later."

Tyler waved from the van at the end of the drive, calling out to Charlie that he'd drive safely and everything would be fine. Charlie gave him a curt wave and the same menacing look he'd given Mike. Tyler's grin faded and he jumped quickly into the van, leaving Mike to fiddle with the doors and help me up into the back seat. The van was filled with the overpoweringly sticky-sweet smell of Lauren Mallory's perfume, and I knew it was going to be a long ride to Port Angeles and back.

"Hey Bella, how's it going?" Lauren asked in a bored tone from the front passenger seat.

"Good," I lied. "How about you?"

"Okay," she answered, still bored. Then she abruptly swung around to face me, her face suddenly animated. A long strand of bangs fell out of her up-do and into her eyes, and she shoved it behind one ear in irritation. "Hey, is it true that you were making out with that hot Edward guy at Jake's Place last weekend?" she asked, her eyes incredulous.

Mike shot her an outraged look, while I stared at her in open shock.

"Well, no, not exactly," I balked, looking down and fumbling furiously to fasten my seatbelt, avoiding the stares that were fixed upon me.

"That's not what I heard. Everybody said you were totally giving him tongue in the middle of the bar!" she exclaimed, while I flinched at her vulgar but admittedly accurate choice of words. "I mean, not that I blame you," she went on. "That guy is so fucking hot you could fry an egg on his ass."

I felt like telling her that, no, actually he was so cold that you could probably freeze an ice cube there, but I kept that bit of knowledge to myself. "Well, we played some pool. He did kiss me afterward," I answered weakly, then looked helplessly out the window, knowing how humiliated and angry Mike must be feeling right about now. I could practically feel him seething from the next seat.

"Damn, Bella! You are so lucky. I can't even believe it," Lauren said enviously, clearly wondering what on earth I'd done to lure someone like Edward. She turned and gave me a scrutinizing once-over, staring at me through her misbehaving shank of bangs, as if trying to figure out the attraction. Knowing her, she'd probably come to the conclusion that I must be easy.

"Yeah, well, I don't get the appeal of that guy at all," Mike grumbled. "He looks like an axe murderer or something."

Lauren let out a loud guffaw while I gave Mike a questioning look. "You're just jealous," Lauren accused him. "You wish you had all the girls drooling over you they way they do him."

"No, I'm serious!" Mike insisted. "There's something weird about that guy. He looks like he'd be capable of anything. Seriously, Bella, I think you should be careful around him." He gave me a concerned look, and he wasn't kidding.

"I totally feel you, bro," Tyler chimed in as he steered us toward the edge of town and the Highway 101 exit. "He's got a creepy-ass Hannibal Lecter stare, like he'd slice you in two and eat you for breakfast," he said with a dramatic shudder.

"Exactly!" Mike agreed, sounding vindicated. "Axe murderer." He and Tyler high-fived over the car seat, while Lauren told them they were crazy. I stared out the window, desperately hoping for the topic of conversation to change. Lauren inadvertently helped me out by dismissing the boys' claims of Edward's murderous bent and quickly moving on to the subject of her designer Azzedine Alaia dress, which she'd managed to snag via her dad's hoity-toity connections. For once I was grateful for her superficial chatter.

After a stony silence, I heard Mike shift and cough, and then saw the plastic corsage box appear out of the corner of my eye.

"Here, I got you this," he said, and I glanced over to see him holding the flowers out to me, looking apologetic.

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Mike. That was really nice of you." I took the flowers out of the box, small cream-white roses attached to a plastic bracelet. I hooked them over my right wrist. "They're really pretty," I said truthfully.

"Well, I remembered you said they were your favorites in the hospital that day, when Alice Cullen brought them to you," he said. He tried to make it sound nonchalant, but his eyes didn't match the sentiment. I realized that regardless of what he thought of Edward, it still didn't excuse the fact that I had basically used him to make Edward jealous, and had probably hurt his feelings in the process. I wasn't proud of my actions.

"That's very thoughtful," I told him guiltily. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you like them," he said, sounding relieved. He quickly changed the subject and began telling me about some oddball out-of-town customers that had come in the store that day, since I'd had the day off. I was glad for the distraction, and we talked work until we reached Port Angeles.

Dinner at Biaggi's went fairly smoothly, the conversation centering mostly on school. Tyler relived last weekend's victorious FHS season-ending football game in which he'd kicked the winning field goal, Mike told his usual goofball stories about the class-clown antics he'd pulled the past week, and Lauren talked incessantly about cheerleading tryouts for the upcoming basketball season. I tried to laugh in the right places and throw in a comment here and there, while I wondered if I was missing some sort of Normal Teenager gene. I just couldn't seem to get interested in the things that most kids my age were into. Most evenings I was just as happy to curl up with a good book, or write in my journal, as I was to go to a school function.

The ride back to Forks was unremarkable, save for Mike resting his arm across the back of the bench seat and trying to scoot closer to me. I warded off his advances with a polite smile and conversation about what a good job I thought Jessica did as the head of the dance committee. I was determined to steer Mike toward Jessica's willing and waiting arms by the end of the evening, rather than have to avoid any of his attempts to kiss me good night outside Charlie's doorstep.

When we got to the gym, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my praises of Jessica's talents were actually right on the money. The swaths of sparkle-covered white batting that we'd hung hid the ugly walls of the gym, and the cheap decorations and endless strings of icicle lights took on a life of their own when bathed in the DJ's swirling multi-colored light show. She had been right. The gym had been transformed, as much as was physically possible, into a little winter wonderland.

"Jess, it looks great," I told her truthfully when she came rushing up to us, her eyes sparkling as much as the giant disco ball she'd insisted on hanging. Jessica Stanley loved nothing more than a reason to dress up and be a social butterfly, and she was in her element, flitting from one person to the next as they entered the gym.

"Thanks, Bella. I couldn't have done it without your help," she insisted, giving me a hug. Apparently all was forgiven now that she was on her party high. She turned to Mike and added, "Yours too, Mike," grabbing him in a bear hug that was decidedly longer than the one she'd given me. I gave her a thumbs-up behind Mike's back, and she laughed and rolled her eyes at me, but I could tell that she was as determined as I was to make sure she ended up with him by the end of the evening.

Mike and Tyler took our jackets and headed for the coat check, while Jess and Lauren began ooh-ing and aah-ing over each other's beaded dresses.

"You look so pretty, too," Jessica added to me, trying to include me in the girl talk. "That color is awesome on you."

"Thanks," I said, feeling awkward as usual. It just wasn't my style to wear something glittery and loud like she and Lauren had on. "You look great, too, Jess," I assured her as she adjusted her considerable cleavage in her lavender dress.

"I know, right?" she giggled. "I should. I paid my hair stylist three weeks' worth of babysitting money to get this crazy up-do and makeup done. Now if Mike just notices, it'll be worth it." She looked longingly off toward the coat check as Mike and Tyler made their way back across the gym.

"Where's Ben?" I asked. "You know, your date," I reminded her.

"Oh, Lord. He's been doing nothing but talking about Angela all night," she sighed, gesturing over to the bleachers, where he sat on one side of Angela Weber and Eric Yorkie sat on the other. "I don't know what Angela's going to do. She was crushing so long on Ben, but he just never manned up, you know? So she got interested in Eric, and now all of a sudden Ben's jealous. Men!" Jess shook her head in exasperation.

I laughed as I caught Angela's eye. She waved at me and looked a bit as if she were in need of rescue. I told Jessica I was going to go say "hi," and asked her to keep Mike entertained for me. She grinned and assured me that would be no problem.

"Hey, Ange, how's it going?" I asked after I teetered over to her. Eric noticed my unease in my heels and offered me a seat next to him. I thanked him and sat down, relieved to be off the dance floor.

"Good, Bella," Angela answered, pushing her glasses up her nose and giving me a tiny plea for help with her eyes. "How about you? How was dinner?"

"It was good, we had a nice time," I said. "I got to hear all about Lauren's designer dress so I could admire it with the proper reverence it deserves."

Angela giggled and remarked, "You are bad, Bella! And very astute," she admitted.

I stayed and chatted with her, Eric and Ben for a bit, hoping to diffuse the awkward situation she seemed to have gotten herself into. I could definitely sympathize with her on that score, as I watched Jessica prattle on to Mike and drag him around the gym, introducing him to the DJ and letting him pick out some of the play list. I was glad to see her taking the bull by the horns, so to speak. I could see that Mike loved having a say in the song choice, and the music of several of his favorite bands began permeating the gym. It looked like things were going well on that score, and I began to relax a little. Our little bleacher-sitting group didn't appear to want to dance too badly, and instead the four of us sat and people-watched, making an erstwhile comment here and there. Just when I was beginning to think my Mike worries were over, he appeared suddenly in front of me, thrusting his hand in my face.

"This is one of my favorite songs. You wanna dance, Bella?" he asked, his eyes shining expectantly.

_Oh, God. Here we go. _I paused as long as feasible, and then replied helplessly, "Sure."

I took his hand and he led me into the middle of the group of shimmying teenagers. Dancing was a strange thing for me. It wasn't that I didn't like music, or that I couldn't feel the rhythm or move my body accordingly. It's just that I felt like a jackass doing it. I couldn't seem to let go of my inhibitions and self-consciousness long enough to actually enjoy it, and I ended up moving awkwardly back and forth like I had a stick up my backside.

Mike wasn't such a great dancer himself, and like a lot of guys, he pogoed around in a sort of mock punk-rocker mode. He at least made me laugh a little as he grabbed my arms and swung me around, trying to get me to loosen up a bit. I actually liked Mike, when it came down to it. He was a nice guy. But I simply couldn't get my feelings for him to run any deeper than friendship.

While I was out on the dance floor, I literally almost ran into Alice and Jasper, who seemed to have materialized from nowhere. Alice looked stunning in an asymmetrically cut jade green gown, and Jasper looked smart in his gray suit and black tie.

"Bellaaaaa!" she squealed, grabbing me and whirling me around like she hadn't seen me in months instead of mere hours. "You look gorgeous. You still need to lose the sweater, though," she chastised.

I rolled my eyes and told her to drop it. "You look incredible," I told her. "You too, Jasper," I added with a smile. He grinned and pointed to Alice, who probably dressed him every day like some Raggedy Andy doll, poor guy.

"How are things going with Mike?" Alice whispered.

"Fine. Not too bad yet. Jessica has managed to get some quality time in with him, so I think things will turn out okay," I told her.

She winked and said, "Oh, I know they will."

Mike grabbed my arm in a somewhat possessive gesture and steered me back toward him, and I gave a quick wave to Alice and Jasper as he whirled me away. Then, to my horror, a slow song came on. Mike took the opportunity to pull me closer, wrapping his arm around my waist and holding my right hand in his left, as if in a formal dance pose, only closer than what was appropriate. He began swaying back and forth, pulling me with him, and I could only think about how badly I wanted him to be Edward right now. I didn't think the moment could get any more uncomfortable…and then Mike spoke.

"I'm really glad you came here with me tonight, Bella," he whispered in my ear.

"Well, sure, Mike. I'm having a nice time. Thanks for asking me." What else was I supposed to say?

"I was thinking that maybe we could get together again sometime this week. You know, dinner and a movie or something. Do you have plans for next weekend?"

_Sweet baby Jesus. _"Um….well, I don't know. I don't know if it's such a good idea for us to go out again, Mike," I said slowly.

He pulled his head back to look at me, frowning. "Why do you say that?"

"I just think that we want different things," I sighed, really not wanting to have this conversation now, on the dance floor, surrounded by our classmates. "I don't have those kinds of feelings for you." His frown deepened, as if he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. "You know, romantic feelings," I continued desperately. "I don't want to string you along."

"Then why did you even agree to come to the dance with me?" His eyes were more disappointed than angry, which made me feel worse.

"I shouldn't have. It was a mistake," I admitted. "I wish you had asked Jessica. She really likes you, you know. She would have been thrilled to be your date tonight."

"Then why…?" his question hung unfinished in the air as his eyes drifted off to the side, thinking. Thinking of that night at Jake's, most likely. And then, understanding washed over his face, followed by outrage. "So all of this was just to make them jealous? When Jessica was talking to that creepy bartender you're so hot for…you just did it to get back at the both of them, huh? Is that it?"

He dropped his arms from me abruptly and stared accusingly at me as we came to a standstill in the middle of all the swaying couples. My face crumpled in defeat and I nodded slowly in confirmation.

"I'm really sorry, Mike," I whispered, my stomach feeling like a lead balloon. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He shook his head and backed away from me, his face a mask of false bravado. "Don't worry about it. No harm done. It's fine. You and that freak deserve each other." And with that, he turned and marched off the dance floor.

I stood for a moment, feeling humiliated and guilty, until I found my feet and began to weave around the couples to escape the crowded dance floor. Just as I pushed past Tyler and Lauren at the edge of the throng, he swung her around in some sort of crazy dip, her foot coming up right in front of my disaster-prone shins. I rushed headlong into her stiletto heel, losing my balance and crashing to the floor in a very undainty heap of blue tiered fabric.

"Oh wow, sorry, are you okay?" Lauren asked with her characteristic lack of concern. Tyler looked a bit more worried as he reiterated her question.

"I'm fine," I sighed, just glad that my skirt hadn't flown up around my waist and exposed my underwear to the entire gym. I shifted my weight to my left arm as I tried to get some leverage from my high-heeled feet to lift myself up. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a helping hand extended in front of me. As I looked at the familiar long fingers stretched out to mine, I let out a thrilled gasp. My eyes followed that gorgeous hand up a long, suit-jacketed arm, over a white-shirt-and-black-tie-covered neck, to the concerned face of the handsomest boy in Forks, in the state of Washington, on the entire planet Earth.

I could barely contain my shock and excitement as I stared into Edward Cullen's beautiful blue eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my heart beating so fast I thought it might break right through my ribs.

"I thought you might need these," he replied with a slow grin, drawing his other arm from behind his back. There, clutched in his left hand, were a very familiar pair of navy-blue low-top Chuck Taylors. Namely, mine.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. How did he always know exactly what to do, and when to do it, to save me from the worst moments of my life? I gazed helplessly at him, unable to speak or move.

"Is your ankle okay? Can you walk?" he asked worriedly, probably wondering if I'd knocked a few brain cells loose during my fall.

"I don't know," I answered. _I can't feel my body. I think I died and went to heaven._

"Here, let me help you," he said in his velvety voice, and once again lifted me up as if I were nothing more than a rag doll. He carried me to the bleachers and set me down gently, kneeling in front of me and beginning a re-enactment of our first night together in my truck.

"Let me guess. These were Alice's idea, right?" Edward smiled, lifting one strappy sandal-covered foot and examining it. Telltale goose bumps traveled up my leg, all the way to my panties. I watched his nimble fingers easily undo the tiny buckle and remove the sandal from my foot. He smiled up at me as he set the shoe on the bleacher and began massaging my foot and ankle, causing incredible sensations to shoot straight up to my groin. Alice had been right.

"I don't think anything's broken," he said. "How does it feel?"

"Amazing," I blurted without thinking, then felt heat seep through my cheeks.

He quirked one eyebrow and laughed. "Catalogued for future reference," he said, turning his attention to my other foot. His face grew serious in concentration as he unhooked the small buckle. As I gazed at his curly eyelashes casting long shadows on his sculpted cheeks, I knew, in that instant, that I was hopelessly, eternally in love with Edward Cullen.

He gingerly examined my left foot, his cool hands silken on my skin. He looked up at me with the same mild smirk, knowing what his touch was doing to me. I completely forgot I was even in the high school gym with dozens of kids staring at the handsome new stranger in the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful creature in front of me, slipping my tomboyish Converse sneakers on my feet and tightening the laces one at a time. My comfy shoes looked like the ugly step-sisters of Cinderella's pristine glass slippers, but they felt so good on my feet that I didn't care. The shoes might be inferior, but the Prince Charming kneeling before me was beyond any fairytale creation I could imagine.

"Is that better?" he asked after tying my left shoe in a neat bow.

"Much," I answered, my voice barely audible. I couldn't believe how emotional my reaction was to his gallant rescue, even if it was just to save me from complete humiliation at a silly high school dance. I fought back tears as I gazed at his sweet smile. He seemed to read my emotions and his face grew more serious. He ran his hand, whisper-light, up the back of my calf and rested it on my knee, sending tremors through me. He leaned in, took my chin in his other hand, and gently pulled my face down to his.

"You look beautiful, Bella," he said softly, his eyes liquid pools before he closed them and leaned in to give me a gentle kiss on the lips. My hands instinctively found his face, stroking his cheekbones on their way to the thick mane of his light-brown hair. A moan rumbled in his throat and I responded instantly, my lips pressing harder against his, my tongue eagerly sliding into his wet mouth, searching for his. Before our kiss could deepen, a familiar voice rang out like a bell, interrupting our moment.

"Get a room!" Alice Cullen teased, plopping herself next to me on the bleachers and nudging me playfully with her elbow. Jasper was right behind her, giving Edward a light shove on the shoulder. Edward waved Jasper's arm away like he was swatting a fly, looking mildly annoyed. I could see that Edward fit right in with the Cullens. They already seemed to have the vibe of a good-natured sibling rivalry between them.

"So, you had to do it, didn't you, Alice?" Edward said, dangling one of my high heels under her nose. "You tried to kill Bella again. I'm glad you didn't succeed."

"Oh, please! Those were her shoes, not mine. She needs to learn to walk in them. She's a woman now. No more excuses." She scowled at me, but then laughed.

"How did you get my sneakers, anyway?" I asked Edward, suddenly smelling a conspiracy. I looked accusingly at Alice. "You stole them from my closet! So you two had this planned all along?"

Edward and Alice exchanged guilty glances. "Not planned, exactly," Edward backpedaled. "I just wanted to be your Plan B, is all," he smiled sheepishly up at me.

My heart swelled at the memory of the Halloween party. I couldn't even be mad at him, because this was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me.

"Are you kidding? You're my Plan A, B, C…all of them," I told him, and then wanted to shoot myself at my own sappiness.

"Oh, Lord," Alice groaned. "Stop, you're making me ill. And that's difficult, 'cause I'm a romantic at heart, you know!"

Edward stood up and held his hand out to me. "Shall we show these romance-challenged idiots how it's done?"

"Not more dancing," was my instant response. Edward laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

"Humor me," he cajoled, linking his fingers through mine as he guided me out to the dance floor. "You'll be fine, you've got the Chucks on now," he grinned down into my ear as he maneuvered us into the crowd of kids and pulled me close. Everyone had been staring at us as we walked out to the floor, and they continued to stare as he gracefully moved me around in rhythm to the slow, moody song that was playing. He was one of the tallest boys there, his broad shoulders and lithe form cutting a singularly dashing figure amongst all the average teenaged kids who gaped at him. In my flat tennis shoes, I felt dwarfed in comparison, and I found myself standing on my tiptoes just to raise my eyes to the level of his necktie.

"I think I should have kept the heels on," I told him, my neck craned up to reach his face. He leaned over me and whispered in my ear, "You're perfect exactly as you are."

I shook my head in mild disbelief at my good fortune, and he pressed his lips to my forehead as we swayed in time to the music. Part of me wanted to grab the DJ's microphone and announce to the whole school that I was so in love with Edward Cullen that I couldn't see straight, but most of me wanted the entire room to disappear and leave only the two of us, close together, the romantic music pulsing through our bodies as we held each other.

The song was over too soon, and a techno dance beat began to vibrate the floor. Edward grinned at me and suggested, "Why don't I go get you something to drink?" I nodded in relief as he escorted me back to Alice and Jasper, who were clapping and whistling like morons.

"That was beautiful," Jasper said in mock solemnity. "I took notes. I'm going to try out your smooth moves on Alice, next slow dance," he razzed Edward, brown eyes twinkling with mischief.

"You should," Edward shot back. "I saw you out there earlier. I thought you might accidentally take someone out with your elbows."

Jasper took a half-hearted swing in Edward's direction, which he ducked as he excused himself to go to the refreshment table. I sat next to Alice, who was absently twirling one of my shoes around her index finger.

"You knew all along that he was going to show up here, didn't you," I alleged. "All that fussing and trying to make me beautiful…that wasn't for Mike."

She grinned and quirked an evil eyebrow. "I kept trying to tell you that everything was going to work out, but you never listen to me, do you?" she reprimanded me. "Edward told me he was going to make you rethink your attitude about surprises. Did it work?"

I thought back to his words outside my truck the night before. A smile spread over my face as I realized that he had been planning this whole thing for the past 24 hours, and that Alice had been his co-conspirator. No one had ever gone to that much trouble to make an impression on me before. Well, he had certainly succeeded.

"Yes," I admitted to Alice. "It worked. I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life, especially after my confrontation with Mike."

"Uh-oh. What happened?" Alice demanded. I told her the sad story of my hurtful actions catching up to me. She listened sympathetically and gave me a quick squeeze around my shoulders.

"Well, I guess you had it coming, but at least it's out in the open now, right? No more misunderstandings." She perused the room and spotted Mike and Jessica, their heads bowed together in conversation as they sat on the other end of the bleachers. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Looks like Mike found a shoulder to cry on, eh?"

"True," I conceded. I was glad to see them together, though I got a sinking feeling that I wouldn't want to hear what they were saying right about now.

"All this drama!" Alice said with an exaggerated sigh. "I'll be so glad to graduate this year."

"Me too," I agreed, although I was still a bit unsure as to what I planned to do after high school was over. I'd been researching colleges, and Charlie was on my case to fill out more applications. But when I looked at the big picture of my life, I couldn't get a clear vision of who or what I wanted to be.

"What do you say we get out of here and go back to the house in a bit?" Jasper suggested, looking at me.

"You mean to the Cullens?'" I asked. I realized that I wasn't sure where Jasper lived. Alice had never told me, and I had never spoken to him much, since he was even quieter than I was.

"Sure, but only after you prove yourself on the dance floor one more time, buddy," Alice grinned, bouncing up and pulling Jasper by the tie back out to the group of grinding bodies. He rolled his eyes as if annoyed, but I could tell that he was completely infatuated with her and would do pretty much whatever she asked. I could relate to that feeling, I thought, as I watched Edward approach with a can of Sierra Mist in his hand.

"Where's yours?" I asked as he handed me the soda.

"I stole a few sips out of yours…hope that's okay," he said as he sat next to me, his thigh pressed against mine, his arm around me on the bleacher behind us. "So…how did your date go with Mike? Up until the blow-up on the dance floor, that is," he added with a small smirk.

"You caught that, huh?" I sighed. "It wasn't too bad, really, until he put two and two together. I had to confess to him how I really felt, and he didn't want to hear it."

"And how do you really feel, exactly?" Edward questioned, his eyes searching my face. He was so close that I could feel his cool breath on my cheeks.

"I feel like my real date just began," I answered, smiling up at him. "I can't believe you're here. Where did you get that suit on such short notice?"

"It's Carlisle's," Edward admitted with his patented crooked grin. "Strictly on loan for the evening. You like it?"

"I love it. You look ridiculously handsome. Every girl in here is wondering where you came from, and what you're doing with me," I said, looking around the room and observing the numerous surreptitious glances we were still receiving.

Edward frowned and shook his head. "I wish I could show you what I see when I look at you," he said softly. "I'm the lucky one, by far."

He reached up and ran his fingers down the side of my face, pushing an errant curl behind my ear. The expression in his eyes was so deep and soulful that I began to wonder if I was right about my original assessment of Edward as "alien from another planet." He was simply too good to be true.

"Are you positive you came from Iowa?" I asked, half-kidding. "Are you sure you didn't come from Mars or somewhere?"

He let out a laugh and said, "Aren't all men from Mars? According to that book, anyway." He stopped and a frown flitted across his face. "I can never figure out why I remember stupid things like the titles of books I never read, when I can't even remember who my best friends were, or the sound of my parents' voices."

I grabbed his cold, pale hand and held it firmly in mine, determined to warm him. "Are you sure you don't want to do some research to find out more about your past? Maybe you could make a trip back to your hometown; visit your old house. It might jog your memory if you could see your old room, or photos of your family, don't you think?"

Edward smiled wanly and shook his head. "I don't see what the use is. I can't bring my parents back. If I remember them, I'll just remember how much I miss them, and feel how much it hurts to have lost my old life. Sometimes you can't go back. You just have to push forward. I want to make a new life for myself here, with the Cullens," he said in a determined voice. "And with you, if you'll have me," he added, quirking a questioning eyebrow at me.

"As if you even have to ask," I said, rubbing the palm of his hand with my thumb. He returned the gesture, and it felt as good as the foot rub he'd given me earlier. "I just wish I could help you somehow, with all of it."

"You do help me. You have no idea how much," he said quietly, again looking at me so intensely that I wondered, why me? He seemed to have zeroed in on me that day at the sporting goods store, and every time I'd seen him since then, he treated me as if I were the only person in the room. I supposed I did the same with him, but I wasn't alone in noticing Edward. He was hard to miss. But I had blended in with the crowd my entire life. It didn't make any sense for Edward to be as infatuated with me as I was him.

Before I could ask him how it was that I helped him, Alice and Jasper returned, asking if we wanted to go back to the Cullens' and hang out awhile. It was only about 11 p.m., so we still had some time before I had to be home. Edward left the decision up to me, and since I wasn't keen on dancing or deflecting any more dirty looks from Mike, I told them I'd love to go.

Mike and Jessica had joined Angela and her two dates, so I dragged myself over to them to say good-night and to apologize to Mike once more. He just gave me a sullen look and a shrug, but Jessica was apparently feeling much better about things now that I'd confessed my sins and relinquished Mike. She gave me a hug and thanked me again for helping decorate, while Angela whispered in my ear, "Way to go, Bella! Have fun with Mr. Handsome."

"I will," I said, fighting to keep my smile from overtaking my face while Mike looked on. Edward offered me the crook of his arm and I accepted, my smile now impossible to hide as I looked up at his perfect face. I felt like I was walking on air as we made our way through the gym, Edward's arm in one hand and my discarded shoes in the other. Everyone stared, and for once I didn't mind the attention.

Out in the parking lot, Edward made a big show of escorting me to a shiny red BMW convertible, its top up to ward off the chilly night air.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as he held the passenger door open for me. "Nice wheels. Is this on loan from Carlisle, too?"

Edward laughed and answered, "No, from Rosalie, actually." I gave him a surprised look as I got in the car. He shrugged and shook his head. "I think she might be more of a romantic that we gave her credit for," he smiled, closing the door behind me.

After getting in and revving the engine a couple of times, Edward peeled out of the lot and drove like a demon all the way to the Cullen house. I held my breath and gripped the door handle the whole time, while Edward seemed oblivious, clearly enjoying the sensation of the sports car keening around the bends of the winding country road.

"Damn, this thing can fly, can't it?" he marveled as we came to a stop in the Cullen driveway. "I've got to get one of these. Or maybe a Porsche," he enthused.

He looked over to find me still gripping the arm rest, trying to slow my breathing. He reached over and touched my face, rubbing his thumb along my jaw. "You weren't scared, were you?" he teased. "I'm a good driver, Bella. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'd never let anything happen to you before you'll believe me."

"I believe you, Edward," I said, letting out a long pent-up breath. "But the car may have other ideas."

Edward only laughed again. "I'm driving the car, Bella. Not the other way around." He got out and walked quickly, too quickly, to my side of the car.

"I don't know whether your confidence is reassuring or alarming, "I muttered as he opened the car door for me. He seemed to have zoomed around to the passenger side in record time. I mentally added "faster than a speeding bullet" to Edward's growing list of cartoon-character skills.

He ignored my comment, his self-satisfied grin too cute for reproach. Alice and Jasper pulled up beside us in Alice's more-sedate Volvo, making nearly as good time as we did. Apparently driving like a maniac was a Cullen family trait, even if they were all adopted.

We all piled into the house, where Carlisle and Esme were watching a movie. They asked us the usual questions about how the dance was, and was Edward coming to meet me a welcome surprise? I replied that it was probably the best one I'd ever had, then blushed, while Edward's little grin looked almost as shy as mine probably did. Carlisle and Esme gave each other a look that seemed oddly apprehensive before quickly covering it with a mask of smooth smiles. I got the feeling that they didn't approve of Edward and I being together, though I couldn't imagine why. The Cullens had always seemed to like me, and they clearly adored Edward.

Carlisle and Esme announced that they were going to bed and that we could use the den to play video games or watch TV. Jasper and Edward wasted no time in ditching their suit jackets, loosening their ties and setting the room up for a couple of rounds of Rock Band, which turned out to be highly entertaining. Edward trounced us completely with his musical ability and freakish hand-eye coordination, but Jasper and Alice were surprisingly nimble. Per usual, I was the one with average-at-best abilities on every "instrument" I tried and I was the first one to beg out of the game with low scores. Alice insisted on singing the whole time, and was actually pretty good. She and Edward ended up battling until the bitter end after Jasper threw his drumsticks in the air and joined me on the couch to watch. Finally Alice was forced to concede defeat after Edward nailed a scorching guitar solo, and he let out a loud "Ye-e-e-e-esss!" as he threw his "guitar" on the couch and thrust both fists in the air in victory.

Japser booed and consoled his pouting girlfriend, while I cheered and whistled loudly as if I were Edward's biggest groupie, which I supposed I actually was. I'd never seen him so happy and so…normal. He usually seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Now he just looked like a regular teenaged kid having fun. Well, except for being ethereally handsome in the process.

"So," Edward said breathlessly, putting his arm lightly around my shoulder. "Have you ever had a full tour of this place?"

"Well, I've seen some of it," I told him, "but mostly when I'm here I hang out with Alice in her room. You want to show me around?"

"I'd love to," he said, his voice low in my ear as he steered me out of the den, through the great room and into a music conservatory. A gorgeous piano stood center stage there, and I gasped at its shiny dark wood gleaming in the moonlight.

"No wonder you wanted to live here," I breathed, running my hand along the edge of the propped-up lid. "Will you play for me again sometime?"

"Of course," Edward answered quietly, his eyes appraising the instrument almost reverently. "I think that's how I won Esme over…she likes listening to music."

"She likes listening to _you_. You're really good, Edward. Great, actually. And its clear that you love it," I said, looking up at his blissful face as he gently stroked a key or two with his nimble fingers. "I'd ask you to play something for me now, but I don't want you to wake Carlisle and Esme."

Edward let out an abrupt laugh, then bit his lip as if to stifle it. "If all of us playing RockBand didn't keep them awake, I don't think this would do it," he said with a smile. "You're probably right, though, it is late." He paused and looked at me, his eyes dark and glistening in the moonlight slanting through the windows. "Do you want to see my room before I take you home?"

My heart picked up its pace at the thought of being alone with Edward in his bedroom. "Sure," I answered in a whisper, even though there was no one but Edward to hear me.

He took my hand and led me back to the great room and up the stairs to the second floor. We passed the familiar doors of Alice and Emmett's rooms and took a right to the end of the hallway. Edward opened the door into a long, narrow corner room with glass walls to the east and north. It was sparsely furnished with a couple of antiques that Esme had probably restored, and a divan on one side. An entire wall of shelving was, thus far, almost entirely empty, save for a few CD's and books stacked close to the couch.

"Is that what you're sleeping on?" I asked, confused.

"Well, for now it is," Edward answered awkwardly. "It's fine, really. You should have seen the rickety old cot I was using in that cabin," he said with a derisive laugh.

"I'd like to, actually," I told him. "I'd love to see where you were staying. Did you just crash in somebody's place off-season or something?"

"Yeah, sort of," he hedged. "It wasn't really even a cabin…more like a deer stand, for hunters," he admitted.

I looked at him blankly. "What did you do for heat?"

He shook his head dismissively. "It hasn't been that cold. It didn't bother me, honestly." He looked uncomfortable, like he wished I would change the subject. He reached over to turn on the beside lamp.

"No, don't," I blurted, then felt the familiar flush of embarrassment wash over my cheeks as he turned his questioning eyes upon me. "I mean, with all these windows, the moon is almost as bright as day," I added quickly. The side of his mouth raised in his irresistible crooked grin as he considered and then rejected my lame explanation.

"It's romantic, isn't it?" he said softly, walking slowly toward me. With each step, my heart beat a little faster. By the time he reached out and brushed my hair back over my shoulder, I was sure my heart's rhythmic thumping was the loudest thing in the room.

"You said you'd wear this dress for me someday," he reminded me. "I'll bet you didn't know it would be so soon." He ran his fingers down the fabric of the halter, pushing my sweater to the side and brushing his cool skin over my shoulder.

"No, I didn't," I agreed, my voice shaking slightly at his touch. "You'll be glad to know that you succeeded. You changed my mind about surprises."

He smiled and his eyes twinkled in the muted light. "Happy surprises are the best kind," he said, sliding his hand along my neck and down my shoulder underneath my cardigan. "I want to see this dress now," he insisted quietly, pushing the fabric down over my shoulder. I inhaled sharply as the sweater fell away, sliding off of my left arm entirely. He deftly caught it in his right hand, then slowly walked behind me, pulling the cardigan with him. He slid it off of my right shoulder and tossed it gently on the divan beside us. I felt his hands in my hair, threading through it, sending tingles over my scalp and down my spine as he twisted the curls briefly around his fingers before pushing them over my right shoulder, leaving my back bare. He ran both hands, slowly as molasses, across my shoulders and down my shoulder blades, then to the edge of the scooped back of the dress, tracing its seams across my back.

"Did Mike Newton get to see you like this?" he demanded in a low voice, his face suddenly very close over my left shoulder, his breath in my ear sending tremors through my body.

"No," I whispered hoarsely. Edward had seen me next to naked the very night before, his eyes burning so hotly over every inch of me that it felt like a brand, making me his. How could he possibly be worried about Mike Newton getting a glimpse of my bare shoulder blade?

"Good," he murmured, his lips brushing my earlobe, then my neck. He planted tiny kisses there, his hands slowly descending my arms, soft as silk brushing against my skin. My breath came in short gasps and I could think of nothing but the sensations that were rippling through my body. My head fell back against his chest and he buried his face in my neck, his arms snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. I stroked his bare forearms, pushing his rolled shirt sleeves higher, loving the feel of his furry, masculine arms under my fingers. He moaned softly into my neck, kissing me over and over, his tongue and teeth gently tasting the flesh there and coaxing a small cry of pleasure out of my throat.

Suddenly he pulled away and stood up straight, his breathing labored. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were wild. For a split second, I felt something akin to fear. And yet I was more afraid for him than I was for myself.

"What is it?" I asked, reaching up to touch his face, smoothing my hands over the twitching muscles of his clenched jaw. He always seemed to calm down when I touched him this way, stroking him, reassuring him. His eyes closed for a moment, and when they opened, they were haunted. He shook his head ever so slightly, and though his hands were still on my waist, they were keeping me at bay more than pulling me close.

"Edward," I began, desperate for him to let go of whatever burden he was carrying. "Please tell me what happened to you. And I'm not talking about the amnesia. I'm talking about everything else. You're not…"---I searched for any other word than "normal"---"the _same_ anymore. You're not like other teenaged guys. Something happened to you in that forest. Something changed you…altered you. Please tell me the truth," I finished vainly, my voice trailing off as I watched his features harden into an unreadable mask.

"I told you, I don't remember what happened to me," he reiterated for what must have been the tenth time. "I woke up and my whole world was turned upside down. Nothing made sense. It still doesn't," he conceded, letting go of me and slumping down onto the couch, elbows on his knees, head falling into his hands.

I sat next to him and put my arm on his back, rubbing his broad shoulders. I began to list the first of several possibilities that had crossed my mind when I tried to put the puzzle pieces together. "Did you eat something strange in the woods when you were hungry, before you found your way out of the forest? Maybe some berries or mushrooms that were poisonous? You may have ingested some crazy substance that turned you into Superman or something," I suggested.

He jerked his head up quickly to look at me. "Is that what you think I am?" he snorted, his voice bitter. I threw my hands up in the air in frustration.

"I don't know, Edward. Let's see: faster than a speeding bullet? Check. More powerful than a locomotive? Yeah, probably. Um, what else…able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Let's go outside so we can find out," I challenged him. He ran his hands through his hair in agitation, grimacing in silence. "Maybe you're not Superman," I conceded softly, "but you are superhuman. Don't you want to know why?"

He sighed heavily. "I know I sound like a broken record, but it won't change anything. I'm pretty sure it's nothing I ate. If I reveal my abilities to anyone, they'll stick me in a laboratory and study me like some freak of nature…like I'm not even human." His voice dwindled to a hoarse whisper. "Maybe I'm not anymore. Maybe I'm nothing more than a piece of cold, dead, animated marble." He reached out and trailed the backs of his pale fingers down my arm, his face contorted with self-loathing as he watched goose bumps rise on my skin in response.

"I don't care what you are," I insisted, grabbing his hand firmly in mine. "This…" I rubbed his hand between mine, "…this is just a shell. It's a great-looking shell, believe me," I said with a wry grin as I stared into his beautiful, troubled eyes. "But that's all it is. The most beautiful part of you is right here," I told him, pressing my hand over his heart. Its beat was slow and steady; faint, but reassuring. "Anybody who would do what you did tonight has a very warm, very human heart. Forget superheroes. You were my prince tonight."

His eyes seemed to drink in reassurance from mine, and he finally allowed a smile to creep over his features. "I was going to try to get a horse-drawn carriage, but Rosalie's convertible was just way too tempting," he joked. "Besides, I wouldn't want it to turn into a pumpkin before I got you home."

A wave of panic hit me at his words, and I looked around frantically for a clock in the room. "Oh my God, Edward, what time is it?"

He reached back to the nightstand and turned the alarm clock to face us. It read 12:45 a.m.

"Oh shit, shit, SHIT," I groaned, grabbing my sweater and pulling it over my arms. "My curfew is one o'clock. You may be superhuman, but trust me, Charlie will still find a way to kill you if I'm late."

Edward seemed unperturbed. "Don't worry, I'll get you home on time," he assured me blithely as he took my hand and walked me quickly down the stairs.

"And hopefully I'll live to tell about it, the way you drive," I muttered, which amused Edward greatly. He grabbed his suit jacket out of the den before following me to the garage and letting me into the red BMW. True to form, he flew down the dark, twisting road as confidently as if it were daylight, causing me to again grip the arm rest in hopes that it would keep me from flying out the window and hitting a tree. We pulled up to Charlie's house with exactly 4 minutes to spare.

"You are a madman," I declared, clutching my hand to my chest like an old woman. "I am never getting in a car with you ever again."

"Oh, yes, you are," he grinned, unbuckling his seatbelt. Then he leaned over and unbuckled mine. "Thursday is the next night I have off. I'm taking you somewhere. I don't care where. Maybe you can just come over and hang out. Or I can come watch football with your dad," he laughed, leaning in and giving me a kiss before I could protest. He knew I was powerless against those lips of his, and once again I found myself drowning in the taste, smell and feel of him. There was no way I could wait until Thursday to see him again. That was almost a whole week away.

"What about tomorrow?" I managed to gasp in between kisses. He stopped and looked me in the eye, his cocky smirk very nearly causing me to rescind my invitation.

"What _about_ tomorrow?" he teased, peppering my face with tiny butterfly kisses. I let out a growl of frustration. "Do you want to see me tomorrow?" he asked in mock innocence.

"Yes," I snapped. "Though now I'm not sure why."

"What do you want to do?" he asked me, one eyebrow raising provocatively.

"I don't know. I don't care," I sighed in submission. Then, inspiration hit. "Take me to the cabin tomorrow."

His smile faded. "You don't really want to go there, Bella," he frowned. "There's nothing much to see, anyway. And it's pretty far from town."

"But I'll bet you could get us there in a flash, couldn't you," I said, a statement more than a question. His lip twitched uncomfortably and he nodded slightly.

"I'll call you in the morning, okay?" he said in resignation. Then he kissed me gently, got out of the car, and appeared outside my door an instant later. He opened it and gave me his hand, helping me out though I didn't need it. I couldn't help but smile at his old-fashioned manners. I wished I could have met his parents. They seemed to have instilled a lot of chivalry into their young son before they died.

Edward walked me up to the front door and stood there expectantly. I gave him a blank look. "Charlie will be waiting up," I warned him.

Edward smiled. "I figured as much. I want to meet him."

I looked at him in shock. "Now? You want me to explain how I came home with a different guy than my date?"

"Don't worry. I'll do the talking," he said with assurance. I stared at him as if he'd lost all sense. He tapped his watch and admonished, "You'd better go inside."

My heart sank as I opened the door. This was not going to be pretty, I thought. But relief flooded me as I caught sight of Charlie snoozing in the recliner, several empty beer cans on the end table next to him, the TV still tuned to ESPN.

"Good, he's asleep," I whispered to Edward. "You can meet him tomorrow when you pick me up to take me hiking." I grinned at the frustrated look on his face.

"All right," he conceded in his low, velvet voice. "I'll call you tomorrow." He kissed me gently, which turned into several more kisses before we reluctantly pulled apart, Edward shooting a nervous glance at Charlie as he reached for the door. He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze before he disappeared into the night.

I slumped, exhausted, against the door, closing my eyes and thinking back on the crazy events of my evening. When I opened my eyes, Charlie was staring right at me.

"Geez, Dad, you scared me!" I exclaimed. "I thought you were asleep."

"Obviously," he replied, glowering at me slightly. "Who was that boy, Bella? 'Cause he sure as hell didn't look like the boy who picked you up eight hours ago."

"That was Edward, Dad," I said, biting my lip. "He really wanted to meet you. Honestly."

He let out a kind of "harrumphing" noise. "What happened to the Newton kid? He didn't dump you in the middle of the dance or anything, did he?" He looked as if his hackles were starting to rise.

"Well…sort of. But I kind of deserved it," I admitted sheepishly. "Okay, I totally deserved it. But Edward showed up and made everything better. The way it should have been," I said, trying to stifle a tiny grin.

Charlie studied me for a moment. "So you really like this Edward, then."

I nodded uncomfortably. I really wished Mom were here sometimes. Talking with Charlie about boys was seven kinds of awkward.

"All right, then," he said gruffly. "Apparently you two have some kind of date tomorrow?"

"You know, you really shouldn't have pretended to be asleep," I complained. "That was dirty pool." He gave me a stern look and I sighed apologetically. "We're going to go on a nature walk."

Charlie's face twisted in concern. "I don't want you going out into those woods, Bella. We never found the wolf that attacked you. If you get too deep into the forest you'll run into bears, too. I don't like it."

"Edward's a really good hiker, Dad," I told him. I wished I could explain just how safe I really was with Edward, but there was no way to do that without exposing his secrets. And I didn't even know exactly what they were yet. "We won't go far. We'll stick to the trails. It'll be fine. I'll take my cell."

Charlie got up from the recliner and pulled me into a hug. "It's late. We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?"

I nodded and we both walked slowly up the stairs to get ready for bed. I lay staring at the ceiling for awhile, exhausted but unable to sleep, once again replaying my time with Edward in my mind. I still couldn't believe he'd actually made my fantasy come true: he had made a grand entrance to the dance like Prince Charming and rescued me from my unwanted date. I should have been on Cloud Nine. But a gnawing feeling continued to tear at the fabric of my perfect dream. Something was tormenting my prince… something so dark that he'd been doing everything in his power to hide it from me. I decided that it was about time to bring that secret into the light. And tomorrow was the perfect time to start.


	10. Revelation

_Things are about to get veeeeddddy interesting in this chapter! I don't want to give too much away though....happy reading!_

**_Edward_**

"Edward, you can't tell Bella you're a vampire."

Emmett Cullen stared me down from his imposing stature, arms crossed, eyes piercing. I was ever so slightly taller than he was, and I didn't back down.

"Trust me, I don't want to, but I'm afraid she's going to figure it out anyway. She's already halfway there," I sighed, wondering how I was going to handle our hike in the woods today. I knew I shouldn't take her there, but part of me wanted her to see what really happened, and to see me for what I really was, in broad daylight. I was tired of hiding. She deserved better. She deserved at least as much truth as I could give her.

"Fine. If she figures it out, we'll deal with it. But you can't tell her outright. It's against the rules," Emmett said matter-of-factly.

"Rules?" I laughed at the notion. Who would make them, or enforce them? Weren't we all pretty much invincible? "What are you talking about?"

"There are others with greater powers than ours, my friend," he replied. "Older, more powerful vampires in Europe. Friends of Carlisle's. You don't want to make them upset, trust me."

I was intrigued. "So what are these rules, then?"

Emmett shrugged. "Mainly, just to keep our existence a secret. Always fly under the radar. Never make a spectacle of killing; never draw attention to ourselves. The minute you flaunt being a vampire, the Volturi will be on you like white on rice. And they can kill. I've heard about them ripping wayward vamps to shreds and burning the pieces."

"'The Volturi,' huh? Sounds like some made-up comic book coven," I said with a laugh.

"I assure you, they're not," Carlisle's voice sounded in my head before the words came out of his mouth. He descended the stairs and into the living room where Emmett and I faced off, giving me a concerned look. "You don't want to provoke them. And I'm not sure telling Bella the truth is a good idea, even if you think she can be trusted. There are too many things that could go wrong. Her memories could return, or she might just put two and two together and figure out that you were her attacker, even if she never remembers it. Think long and hard about what you're doing, Edward."

I ran one hand through my hair in exasperation. "I feel like I've been doing nothing else for weeks now," I complained. "I tried to stay away from her---I couldn't do it. I've even tried to scare her off. I think it's too late for that. She won't back down." I paused and added softly, "I don't want her to."

Carlisle frowned slightly and motioned to the couch. "Have a seat, Edward," he instructed. I did as he requested, and he sat in the chair next to the couch. Emmett gave me a "good luck" look, excused himself and went up to his room.

"I can see that you and Bella have very strong feelings for each other," Carlisle began. "What I'm wondering is, where do you see this going? What do you really want from her?"

"I…I'm not sure," I said haltingly. "I guess I haven't thought that far ahead. All I know is that no one else makes me the feel the way I feel when I'm with her. I can't imagine existing without her. I wouldn't want to live," I said hollowly. "I know that sounds so melodramatic, but I can't help it. Ever since that night when I--" I swallowed hard--"drank her blood, I've felt like she's a part of me, and always will be. Deep inside. Like I'll never be satisfied until she's mine, in every way." Carlisle regarded me quietly, and I dropped my gaze, embarrassed. "I'm terrified of hurting her. But I'm even more terrified of losing her."

Carlisle sighed, shaking his head slightly. "I wish I had better advice for you, Edward, but there's not much precedent for this kind of thing in the vampire world. Of course, vampires have been smitten with humans before, and vice versa. I'm sure you've observed how we very nearly cast a spell over humans. They find us very beautiful, very irresistible. But any attempts at a relationship never last for long. The vampire ends up either killing or turning the human. It's too difficult to sustain such a partnership long term. For one thing, she'll outgrow you as she ages."

I nodded. "I've thought of that," I admitted. "I don't think it would bother me. I would still love her. She'd still be my Bella." I looked into his empathetic eyes and knew that I could ask him anything and he'd be honest with me. "Carlisle, when you created your family…when you were drinking their blood…did you ever have a moment when you thought you wouldn't be able to stop?"

Carlisle gave a small smile. "Yes. It's always a risk. It's a rush, feeding into the human life force. You feel at one with your victim when you're claiming their blood as your own. Is that what you're talking about?"

"Yes," I admitted with relief. "I've never been able to forget that moment when it felt like Bella and I were joined together; like we had one heartbeat, one soul. It haunts me. I want to feel that with her again. But not in that way--not hurting her. I could never do that again, of that I'm sure," I said emphatically. "I can't help but wonder…is there a way to…show her I love her, without hurting her?" I asked Carlisle, hoping he would get my meaning. I felt like a ridiculous pre-pubescent boy asking his dad about the birds and the bees. "Do you think it's possible?"

Carlisle drew in a long breath. "Well, I don't know, Edward. If you're talking about sex, then yes, I think there's a risk that you may lose control of your bloodlust or your strength and inadvertently hurt her," he said gravely. He must have seen the look of desperation in my eyes because he smiled ruefully and added, "But if you love her like you say you do, I think that could override everything else. I'm a great believer in the power of the mind and the heart over the body. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to heal humans every day instead of hurting them," he smiled.

I nodded, slightly relieved, but still worried. I could tell that Carlisle still didn't approve of what I had in mind. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. I loved and desired Bella so much that it was becoming difficult to be around her without constantly wanting to be closer and show her how I felt. I had to believe that I was capable of the same kind of willpower that Carlisle possessed. He was proof that if you wanted something badly enough, you could achieve it.

"Just be cautious with Bella, son," Carlisle advised me, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Be careful what you reveal, and what you do. That's all. I know you won't allow anything to happen like it did before."

"You're right, I won't," I said grimly. "Thanks, Carlisle. I appreciate everything you've done for me. I mean that."

He smiled and told me to go get ready for my date with Bella, which took all of ten minutes. I waited another twenty because it seemed too early to call, and then I nervously picked up the phone. I was hoping that she had changed her mind about hiking in the woods. Of course, she hadn't. She sounded more eager than ever to visit the tiny hovel where I'd discovered my freakish traits, probably hoping that either I would confess every awful truth to her, or that she would finally be able to put the puzzle pieces together herself. I couldn't decide whether I was fearful or hopeful that she would figure out what I was. It would certainly save me the agony of confessing that not only was I monster, but worse yet, I was the monster who had nearly ended her precious life. But it wouldn't save me the agony of her horror and rejection once she knew the truth. I lived in perpetual fear of her memories, and could only hope and pray that they never returned.

Alice let me borrow the Volvo for the day, since we both agreed that the most sedate of the Cullen vehicles would make the most favorable impression on Chief Swan. I parked in the drive behind Bella's beater truck, walked at a leisurely human pace to the door and waited apprehensively after ringing the bell. Bella's beaming face appeared at the door seconds later, and her smile put me at ease instantly. She invited me in and called to Charlie, who was apparently at the back of the house. I caught a vague feeling of animosity coming from the kitchen, and Bella's stern-faced father appeared soon after. His thoughts weren't as clear to me as other humans' were, but I could feel his general dislike of any male trying to insinuate himself into his daughter's life. I smiled as warmly as I could muster and stuck out my gloved hand in greeting.

"Good morning, Chief Swan," I said as smoothly as I could manage. "I've been looking forward to meeting you. I'm Edward Cullen."

The police chief shook my hand a bit reluctantly and answered, "Good to meet you, Edward. Bella tells me that you're the latest foster kid to be taken in by the doc. Carlisle Cullen is a good man."

"Yes, sir, the best," I agreed, giving Charlie's hand a firm squeeze before dropping it. "I'm very lucky that the Cullens were generous enough to offer me a place to stay after I lost my parents."

Charlie nodded appreciatively. "That's a tough break, Edward. I guess we're all lucky to have the Cullens in Forks. If it weren't for Dr. Cullen, Bella wouldn't be standing here with us right now." I cringed at the image that popped into Chief Swan's head: his blood-soaked police uniform pressed against her neck, trying to stop the flow caused by the vicious wounds I had inflicted. I could feel his panic, his desperation. My stomach churned violently.

"Edward, are you all right?" Bella asked, touching my arm. I looked down into her concerned face, and I fought to smooth my features into a calm facade. "I'm fine, Bella," I assured her with a small smile. "I just hate the thought of what could have happened to you. I'm grateful that Carlisle was here to help you."

"So, Bella tells me that you want to take her hiking," Charlie said disapprovingly. "I don't want her going too deep in the woods, especially since we never caught the animal that attacked her. I'd appreciate it if you'd stick to the marked trails, and don't be gone too long."

I nodded and assured him, "I don't intend to take her anywhere dangerous, sir, you have my word. I'll have her back this afternoon. I have to be at work by three o'clock."

Charlie grunted a bit and told Bella to make sure her cell phone was fully charged and in her pocket. When he thought I couldn't hear, he slipped her a Swiss army knife and a can of pepper spray, which she accepted unwillingly and stuck in her jacket. I had to grin at his attempts to protect her. I knew I would have done the same if I'd been in his shoes.

"Sorry about that," Bella apologized for her father's actions as we left the house and headed for the Volvo. "Typical over-protective male."

I grinned as I held the passenger door open for her. "Your dad's not so bad," I disagreed. "He's just looking out for you. He doesn't trust you with any other man than himself, which isn't such a bad thing, actually. You'd do well to be a little more suspicious of people."

"Should I be suspicious of you?" she asked me as I got in the car and revved the engine. "Maybe there' something you're not telling me."

I kept my eyes on the road as we backed out and headed east, glad for the excuse to avoid looking at her. I decided to try to deflect her question with a little levity. "If I tell you everything, it'll ruin the mystery. Where's the fun in that?"

"That would be fine if this were a game we're playing," Bella answered soberly. "I hope there's more going on here that that."

My smile faded, and I was forced to admit that we had long passed the point of no return. "It's not a game," I agreed quietly. "And I'm deadly serious when I tell you there might be some things you're better off not knowing."

I glanced at her and caught the frown that creased her forehead. She said nothing as we drove toward the outskirts of town, pulling up near the entrance of a trail I'd later discovered that would take us in the general direction of the cabin. I cut the engine and was opening her car door before she'd unbuckled her seatbelt. She still jumped in surprise even though she knew how fast I could move.

"I wish you would trust me," she said as she took my hand and exited the car. "You know your secrets are safe with me, no matter what they are."

I gave her a tight, quick smile. "I do trust you," I assured her. "It's myself I don't trust."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, but she let it go for the moment. We started down the beaten dirt path that snaked eastward into the Olympia Forest, our heavy silence interrupted only by the occasional sound of animals and birds scurrying out of our path. Most of the trees were stripped bare of their leaves, allowing the wind to whistle through them and sting our cheeks as we walked. I hoped Bella was dressed warmly enough, and I said as much.

"I'm fine," she insisted dismissively. "How far is it to the cabin?"

"A few more miles," I replied a bit apologetically.

"Wow. You got quite a workout going back and forth to Forks from here every day," she commented.

"Well, I was actually spending a lot more nights at the high school the past few weeks," I admitted.

She didn't look surprised. "I thought that might be why you had that big duffle bag with you in the band room that day."

"You don't miss much, do you?" I said with a short laugh.

"Not about you, I don't," she answered with her characteristic candor. "I didn't think you'd stay out here when it's been getting so cold at night."

I made no reply as I kept my focus on the path ahead.

"Of course, maybe the weather doesn't bother you," she continued. "Being so cold-blooded yourself."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I wondered how to respond. "No, it doesn't bother me much," I finally admitted cautiously.

"And you could probably run from here all the way back to the car in about a minute, right? If you wanted to," she pressed, feigning nonchalance.

I sighed and came to a halt, already tired of the subterfuge. "Less than a minute," I corrected her. "Do you want to see for yourself?"

Her eyes widened in surprise that I'd given in so quickly. "Sure!" she agreed enthusiastically. "Show me what you've got."

"Oh, I'll do more than that," I grinned. "Hop on." I knelt down so that she could climb on my back. She folded her arms around my neck as I grasped the backs of her knees and hoisted her up, piggyback style. "Hang on tight," I warned her simply, veering off the path and into the thicket, racing deeper into the forest to the spot where the dilapidated deer stand was located. I stopped and waited for her to dismount, but she clung tightly to me, panting frantically as if she were the one who'd been running.

"We're here, Bella," I announced, mildly amused. "You can let go now." I dropped her knees from my hands, then gently pulled her tightly clasped hands from around my neck. I turned to find her shaking, her eyes round as saucers. "Did I scare you?" I asked, stroking her pale cheek with my thumb. "Just think of it as an amusement park ride. Scary, but fun."

She blinked at me in disbelief. "I knew you were fast, but feeling it myself…." She shook her head. "That was like a runaway train or something. I was scared to hang on, but even more scared to let go."

I smiled wryly at the analogy. "That's how I feel about 99% of the time," I said. "I don't have any choice though. This is one ride I can't get off of no matter what I do."

Bella gave me a sympathetic smile, then began to look around. Her eyes stopped at the tiny cabin, her face filled with curiosity.

"So this is it, huh?" she asked, walking toward the worn oak door. "This is where you figured out that something weird had happened to you?"

I nodded and followed her as she swung the door open, letting the muted sunlight slant across the earthen floor. She looked around slowly, her face slightly awed, as if she were viewing a religious relic instead of a ramshackle hunting cabin. Her gaze stopped at the ruined countertop of the small storage cabinet. "Did you do this?" she asked me, running her fingers gingerly down the splintered crack in the wood.

"Yeah," I answered somewhat guiltily. "I was trying to open a can of beans and sent it straight through the countertop. I drove my thumb right into the can, too. That's when I realized what I was capable of." _Though it wasn't even close to what I discovered when I met you, _I added silently.

Bella gave me a sympathetic look. "You must have been so scared," she said. "I get why you've been afraid to tell anyone what happened."

I said nothing as she opened the doors of the cabinet and took in its meager contents. "At least you found some food and water here," she observed. "No wonder you kept coming back here until you started making some money at Jake's."

I nodded slightly, in no hurry to correct her inferences. If she ever figured out that I couldn't ingest human food or water, she'd put two and two together faster than I could carry her out of here and back to the car.

"So, how strong are you, exactly?" she queried, her expression warily curious.

"Strong enough," I answered vaguely. Her look of frustration tickled me. "Do you want me to perform some circus tricks for you?" I joked.

Her face fell. "I didn't mean it like that," she apologized. "I know all of this bothers you. But, I mean, it's sort of… _cool_, don't you think?" she asked hesitantly.

"I guess so," I admitted, opening the cabin door for her in a silent request for her to go outside. I followed her out the door, then led her over to where I'd smashed the boulder to bits weeks ago. "See these rocks?" I asked, kicking at the pile with my foot. "They used to look like this." I hoisted a huge stone up from nearby with little effort, watching Bella's face register surprise. Her surprise turned to shock as I drove my hands straight through the craggy surface of the rock, sending tiny shards raining down all around me and pulverizing what remained into sand between my clenched fists. Bella stared in awe as I opened my hands in front of her and let the wind blow the rock dust in billowing clouds through my fingers.

I rubbed my hands together to free them of the last remnants of powdered rock, then stepped closer to her. "Now, do you understand how fragile you are to me?" I whispered, gently tracing the outline of her face with the tips of my fingers. "Why I worry so much about what's happening between us? Why I tried to stay away from you?"

She slowly shook her head, her green eyes defiant. "You would never hurt me," she stated.

I let out a bitter laugh. "Not intentionally," I agreed.

"No, not ever, period. Intentionally or otherwise. You don't have it in you," she insisted.

I shook my head at her obstinacy. "You don't know what I'm capable of," I muttered darkly, turning and walking toward the clearing in the trees up ahead, Bella close on my heels. "I'm afraid of us both finding out the hard way."

I stopped when I reached a patch of sunlight filtering through the opening in the tree branches above us. I turned to face Bella, knowing how the sun's rays would dance off of my skin. A knot formed in my stomach as I let her see this last, most freakish aspect of my transformation. Her expression was as stunned as I expected.

"Do you see?" I whispered, my vocal chords feeling pulled as tight as piano wires. "How can you know what I'm capable of, when you don't even know what I am?"

She remained stock-still with shock, staring at me mutely for a long, agonizing minute. Then she slowly approached, raising her hand to touch my face. Her eyes were filled with wonder as her fingers slowly examined every inch of my sparkling skin. As much as I lived for her touch, I began to feel a bit like a circus sideshow act as she studied me intently.

I inhaled sharply as Bella's small fingers unzipped my jacket and deftly undid several buttons on my shirt, pushing it open so that she could watch the light reflect off of my marble chest. She touched me again, her hands achingly hot in contrast to the cold wind against my naked skin.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered at last, raising her eyes to mine. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

My lip curled in derision. "_Thing_ is the operative word here, Bella," I told her, taking a step back from her exploring fingers. She drifted toward me as if she were attached to me by an invisible string. I pulled the flannel fabric of my shirt together and buttoned it up again, shaking my head.

"You deserve better than this," I said miserably. "I can't even walk around in the daylight like a normal person. You deserve to be with someone who can give you all the things a normal guy can give you. You shouldn't have to hide in the darkness with a monster who can't even show himself in the sunlight."

Her eyebrows furrowed and she grabbed for my hand. "Why do you call yourself a monster? You're anything but. I don't understand what happened to you any better than you do, but you've proven again and again that you have a heart of gold…even if the outside is made up of diamonds," she finished with a small smile in spite of herself.

"I don't deserve you," I sighed, giving in and squeezing her bare hand in my gloved one. "But I'm grateful to have you. You don't even know how much."

She frowned and replied, "Seeing who you really are just makes me more confused than ever, though."

"About what?" I asked cautiously, readying myself for the answer.

"Why you chose me. For every extraordinary trait you possess, I have only the most mundane things to offer you in return," she said, looking down at the ground. "The fact that you're so good at everything just points out more glaringly how completely average I am in every way."

I sighed in a mixture of relief and annoyance. "I wish you'd stop putting yourself down," I reprimanded. "I'm the freak here, and you're worried that you can't measure up?"

"Well, it's true!" she exclaimed. "I do get decent enough grades in school, but I don't have any idea what I want to do with my life after I graduate. And of course there's the fact that I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. I'm hopeless," she sighed.

I laughed and pulled her close, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You are smarter than you know. You're the only one who even looked at me long enough to figure out that there was something strange about me. You could be a private investigator, or a scientist. You could study me and figure out what makes me tick. I wouldn't even mind being your lab rat," I grinned.

She laughed a little and admitted, "Well, I do like science class pretty well. And English. I love to read. I keep a journal too sometimes…just writing down my thoughts, and sometimes a poem or two," she shrugged.

"You have a lot of gifts," I assured her. "You just need to tap into them. I have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to." She had already proven it by getting much closer to me and to my secrets than was safe, and I had no doubt that eventually I would give into her completely, regardless of the consequences.

"Thanks," she replied with a shy smile. I could tell that compliments made her uncomfortable. I vowed to keep giving them to her until she believed them and accepted them with grace.

"You look kind of cold," I said, noting her ruddy cheeks. "Do you want to head back to your house?"

"I don't know. I like being alone with you," she said, drawing closer to me again. I thought of what Carlisle had said: that humans found us irresistible. Maybe her interest in me was merely biological; another way for me to snare my prey, as if I needed any help in that department.

"But I can't warm you up," I pointed out, feeling a pang of regret as I said it. "I don't want you to get sick because of me."

"You are worse than Charlie," she said in an exasperated tone. "Fine, let's go back and hang out with my dad. That'll be a barrel of laughs, I'm sure."

I grinned and took her hand as I led her away from the clearing and the deer stand, back in the direction of the trail. "I think your dad likes me. He's warming up to me, I can tell."

Bella laughed whole-heartedly then. "You do not know my father well at all, then," she giggled.

"You'd be surprised. I read people pretty well, except for you. You're the only one whose mind is a closed book to me," I told her, subtly alluding to one of the last secrets between us.

She looked baffled. "What do you mean? You probably know me better than anyone else in my life, except my mom."

I sighed and wondered how to explain. "No, when I say I can read people like a book, I mean that. Literally. I can see and hear their thoughts in my head as if they had said them out loud. Well, everyone's thoughts except yours."

Her face looked as shocked as it had when the sunlight first hit my skin. "You're telling me you can read people's minds?" she finally asked incredulously.

I nodded slowly in reply, watching her face carefully as she began to comprehend this last of my supernatural abilities. Finally understanding dawned, and she said, "Well, that explains why you're so interested in me, then." She actually looked a bit sad.

"What do you mean?" I demanded.

"Men love a mystery," she said simply. "I'm the only one you can't figure out…that's why you keep coming back."

"That's not true," I denied, though I realized that she might be partly correct. "Well, maybe a little. But I promise you, that's only a fraction of the whole equation. I mean, I never even considered that before."

She arched one eyebrow skeptically, then shrugged and admitted, "Well, I can't really point the finger at you. I mean, I've been trying to discover all your secrets since the day we met."

"So, once again, we seem to be on the same page," I smiled. "I told you that solving all the mysteries spoils the fun."

"I guess so," she begrudgingly agreed. "I wonder why you can't read my mind?" she mused, perplexed.

"I don't know. I told you, you have a lot of gifts, more than you know."

"I'm not sure being able to keep you out is a gift," she argued. After a bit more thought, she said, "Then again, I think I might be completely freaked out if you could read every thought that goes through my head. In fact, I know I would." She began to look relieved, and I suddenly realized that I would love nothing more than to see myself through her eyes, to understand what she really thought and how she really felt.

We pressed on through uneven terrain, still nowhere near the trail. She looked a little tired, but I didn't want to suggest giving her another piggyback ride after seeing how shaken up she was after the first one. "So how far is it back to the trail?" she asked wearily.

"Probably another mile," I answered evenly, suppressing a grin.

She sighed heavily. "Okay, I give in. You wanna give me a ride back to the car?"

I laughed out loud at that. "I thought you were scared of going too fast," I teased her.

"I am," she said. "But I think I'm ready to get on that ride with you anyway."

I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, but the words seemed to get stuck in my throat. I gave her a tender kiss instead, then hoisted her up easily on my back and took off in the direction of the car. We arrived near the road moments later, Bella again more breathless than I was, and wobbly on her feet when I set her down. I put my arm around her to steady her as we walked to the car, suggesting that maybe she should close her eyes the next time.

"I _did_," she complained with a rueful laugh.

"Tell you what, I'll drive like Grandma Moses on the way home. You won't even feel the car moving," I promised. She gave me a playful shove, but gently, having learned her lesson concerning my impervious exterior.

When we pulled up to the Swan residence, we were surprised to find Charlie's police cruiser absent from the driveway. Inside, Bella found a note on the kitchen table explaining that her father had been called in to the station and would be back soon.

"That's weird, Dad having to go in on a Sunday," Bella frowned. "I hope it's not an emergency or anything."

"He would have called your cell if it was anything for you to be concerned about, wouldn't he?" I suggested, not wanting her to worry.

"I guess so," she agreed. She got a glass of juice from the refrigerator and asked me if I wanted anything, but I told her I was fine. "Wow, you'd think you'd be thirsty after all that marathon sprinting," she commented. I faked taking a sip of her juice to ward off any further speculation on her part.

"Hey," she said, rinsing out her glass and putting it in the sink, "Now is a good time for you to see my room, since Charlie's not here to have a conniption."

"Sure," I agreed, happy that Bella would be willing to share her private space with me. I followed her up the stairs to her room and pretended as if I'd never seen it before. It was nice to see its muted greens and purples in the daylight, and to peruse the photos tucked around her dresser mirror, of herself as a child with her mother.

"Look how cute you were," I smiled at a photo of Bella in a pink leotard and tutu, posing like a little ballerina.

"I was the most uncoordinated ballet dancer ever," she moaned. "But I had fun anyway. I finally dropped out when it became vividly clear that I would never make it in the world of dance."

"You danced just fine last night," I reminded her, pulling her close in a similar stance even though there was no music playing.

"I had you to lead me," she answered, swaying with me in time to the imaginary beat.

I twirled her around and pulled her even closer, wrapping my arms around her tightly.

"You were by far the prettiest girl there last night," I told her, reaching one hand up to comb through the tangled waves of her hair.

"Not nearly as pretty as you," she laughed, reaching up to touch my face. "You are insanely handsome, you know. Everyone was staring."

"They were staring at you as much as me," I insisted, getting lost in her sea-green eyes as they devoured me in an unflinching gaze.

"They were just amazed that I had on a pair of high heels for almost an hour," she whispered, pressing her body closer, standing on her toes and craning her neck up so that I could kiss her.

"They were amazed because you were so much prettier than they were, with so little effort," I corrected her, giving in and pressing my lips to hers. Every time I kissed her I was amazed at the sensations that shot through my body, almost as if I had never kissed her before. I wondered if there would ever come a time when I didn't feel that electric charge between us, connecting us, taking over and stripping me of every logical thought I'd ever had. My only impulse now was to push her gently back on the bed behind us and wrap her body around me. Before I could stop to think, that was exactly what I did.

Her eyes flew open briefly in surprise as her head hit the pillows, but they closed again and her neck arched as I planted soft kisses all along her jaw. My hand ran down the side of her body, over her hip and down her blue-jean covered thigh, pulling it up and around me. She raised her hips and rubbed her other thigh between my legs, moving rhythmically against me until my dick was hard, which took all of ten seconds at best. I pressed my body against hers, loving the feel of her beneath me, careful not to put my full weight on her and crush her. Her hands were all over me, leaving trails of warmth through the fabric of my clothes as she explored every bit of me she could reach. Our kisses grew frantic, hungrier, as Bella pulled impatiently at my flannel shirt, running her hands up my back. Just as I began to raise her thermal shirt up to expose the bare flesh of her torso, I was suddenly distracted by the faint rumblings of Charlie Swan's thoughts, noting my Volvo parked outside and wondering what was going on between his daughter and that eerily pale kid inside his house.

"Your father's here," I whispered, giving Bella one last kiss before sitting up and straightening my clothes.

"What? I didn't hear anything," Bella began, when the sound of the front door opening met my preternatural ears.

"I'll be in the kitchen," I told her quickly. "I'll take care of it."

And with that, I raced down the stairs and was in the kitchen before Charlie had taken off his coat.

"Hello, Chief Swan," I said smoothly, emerging from the back of the house to the living room. "We saw your note. I hope everything's okay. Bella was a little worried."

Charlie looked slightly startled to see me, then replied, "They called me in to look at some pictures. There was a similar case to Bella's on the east side of the Olympia Forest, over in the Buckhorn area, near Quilcene. They wanted me to look at the pictures of the victim to compare them to what had happened to Bella," he said grimly.

My heart thudded unevenly in my chest. Could there be other vampires in the area that the Cullens weren't aware of? Wouldn't Alice have seen them?

"So, what did you think?" I asked worriedly.

"Looked pretty damned similar," the chief said soberly. "Most of the damage was right in the throat area. Only this kid wasn't as lucky as Bella," he sighed. "Only twenty years old. Was camping with his family. He disappeared from the trails and it took two days for the search teams to find him, he'd been dragged so deep in the woods. It was far too late by then."

"Do they think it was a wolf attack again?" I asked, hoping that the case would be dismissed as such once more.

"Looks like it, but there's so much blood loss; and yet the body wasn't completely mangled like a pack of wolves would do. Makes me think there's one rogue wolf, maybe rabid or something…I don't know. It's so far from here that I doubt it would be the same animal, but we haven't ruled out anything."

I nodded and said nothing, wondering what was going on. What if it were the same vampire who had attacked me? And if it were, why had it changed me but drained the other victim to death?

Bella came rushing down the stairs to join us, her hair freshly combed and some school books in her hand.

"Oh, hey dad, I didn't hear you come in," she said casually. "Edward was going to try to help me with my biology homework," she said, holding up the textbook. I hid my grin at the irony of her cover story.

"I'm glad you're back, Bella," her father said. He looked at us both sternly and added, "I don't want either of you hiking in that forest again, especially after what just happened." He went on to tell Bella what he had just told me, and she commented sympathetically about what had happened to the unknown boy whose life had just been lost.

"Don't worry, Dad, I was completely safe with Edward," Bella assured him, and I wish she didn't sound so completely trusting of me. The weight of the truth that I kept from her seemed to grow more oppressive every day. "I won't go back in the forest, though, I promise," she told her father.

"Bella, I think I'll have to help you with your homework another time," I announced. She frowned slightly as I continued, "I forgot, I need to stop home and take care of a couple of things before I go to work."

"Oh, okay," she agreed glumly as she walked me to the door. "When will I see you again?" she whispered, looking up at me imploringly.

"Why don't you come over to the house Thursday night?" I offered. "I think I might have a couple of surprises for you."

Her face brightened considerably. "I think I'm starting to like your kind of surprises," she admitted. I laughed a little and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"I wouldn't mind if you came to see me at the bar before then, either," I suggested with a grin.

"Hmmm, I might be able to manage that," she smiled.

"Good. I'll see you soon," I promised, rubbing her cheek with my thumb before heading out to retrieve Alice's car. I raced back to the Cullen house, eager to pick Alice's brain. If she had seen anything coming, she certainly hadn't warned me about it. I found her in her room, making sketches of a dress she was going to make for home ec.

"What's up, brother?" she asked with a grin. "Did you have a nice time with Bella?"

I stared at her a moment and her thoughts became clear. She had already seen a vision of Bella touching my alabaster skin in the sunlight.

"Obviously," I replied in mild irritation. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

I picked her brain, but only saw visions of the dress she was creating, and the morning she'd spent in bed with Jasper, which I quickly ignored.

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she asked, growing concerned.

"It happened again," I told her. "On the other side of the Olympia Forest. A young guy was killed, supposedly by an animal, but Chief Swan saw the photos and they matched what I did to Bella," I said somberly. "What if the vamp who made me is back? What if he or she never left? Wouldn't you have seen another vampire lurking around here?"

Alice looked shaken. "I don't know, Edward. Usually I see things that pertain to all of us as a family…threats to our security. I don't always get a sense of other vampires until they invade our territory, or draw attention to themselves. I'm sorry, Edward," she said with a frown. "I wish it were more predictable. Believe me, I would have loved to see what happened with Bella in time to stop you. But it was so random, so sudden--- you had no premeditation. Sudden decisions are almost impossible for me to pick up on."

I sighed and sank onto Alice's bed. "I've been wondering lately, what if I wasn't abandoned by whatever vampire made me? What if he or she planned to come back for me, and I was gone?"

"Well, I suppose it would be nice for you to know what happened. To figure out why you can't remember your human life, and why your maker left you behind. Maybe it would be a good thing if that vamp came back to find you. You could get the answers that have been eluding you until now."

"But what if my maker has… plans for me? Plans that I don't want any part of?" I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that came over me when I thought of it. Something told me that if my maker ever found me, I wouldn't like whatever I found out about him or her.

"Well, even if he or she does want something from you, it's too late now," Alice asserted. "You have free will and newborn vampire strength, which is unsurpassed, you know. It's not like any other vamp can coerce you into doing anything you don't want to. You're a Cullen now," she smiled. "I'm not giving up my new brother that easily. They'll have to fight me for ya," she laughed, putting up her dukes and throwing a play punch at my jaw. I pretended to fall back, wounded.

"You're right, I know," I smiled. "I just worry about anything happening to Bella. I'm so over-protective of her, it's bordering on the ridiculous."

"That's just some well-placed guilt," Alice sighed. "Which you need to get over, by the way. You've been Bella's champion and protector enough times to even the score, I think."

I let out a bitter laugh. "If only that were possible," I wished aloud, getting off the bed. "Too bad you have to go to school tomorrow. I need to do some shopping and make my room look inhabitable. You know I'm hopeless when it comes to that stuff."

Alice's eyes began dancing, and her body followed suit. "Shopping? Oooh, I am your woman! I feel a very much needed skip day from school coming on," she squealed, clapping her hands together. "Oh, we are sooo going to turn your bedroom into a Bella-seducing paradise!"

My jaw dropped in surprise. "That is not what I'm planning," I lied, running my hand through my hair uncomfortably. "I just need some things…a cell phone, for one. I'd like to get a TV, and a sound system."

"Yeah yeah, guy stuff," she said with a wave of her hand. "You are fooling no one. I know exactly what you're after---the same thing all 18-year-old boys are after. Lucky for you, I'm pretty sure Bella wants the same things you do. This is going to be so much fun! I will hook you up, Edward. You are so lucky to have me as a sister," she grinned, giving me a hug.

"That much might be true," I admitted. I was secretly glad that she was on to me. I had no idea how to make my room more inviting, but I was pretty sure that Alice would do a more than adequate job of that.

We headed for Port Angeles early the next day, and Alice proved to be a master of whirlwind, no-nonsense shopping, which was fine with me. In a few scant hours, we had managed to procure all the latest electronic gadgets that I was sorely in need of, as well as all sorts of seemingly pointless decorations, pillows, throws and scented candles. "Nothing too girly," Alice had argued, "but female-friendly. That's key." By the time I went to work on Tuesday, I had a fully operational flat-screen HDTV affixed to the wall at the foot of the divan, which was now strewn with silk pillows and a satin quilt in shades of brown and muted turquoise. A couple of nice art pieces adorned the walls, and I had borrowed more of my favorite books from Carlisle's library to fill the empty shelves.

The next two days passed blissfully, as Bella surprised me by showing up at Jake's both nights. She brought Angela Weber with her each time, though on Tuesday Angela's date was Ben Chaney, and on Wednesday she was escorted by Eric Yorkie. Bella explained in a low whisper that Angela was still "trying them both on for size." When I asked Bella if that's what she was doing with me and Mike Newton, she was not amused. But she got the last laugh when Lauren Mallory showed up later on and forced me to spend the better part of the night avoiding her blatant come-ons, thankfully escaping with Bella on my breaks for rounds of pool and darts. Bella was getting better at both games with practice, and a few pointers from me. I loved having her in the bar, and missed her terribly when she had to leave early each night to meet Charlie's school night curfew. I asked her if she could get an extension for our Thursday night date, and she told me she'd try, though she wasn't sure her father would go for it. I felt like a bit of a pervert hoping that she could stay out late. If I had to have her home by 10 p.m., it would put a serious damper on my hopes that something more intimate might happen between us.

After Bella left Jake's, Emmett razzed me mercilessly about my "master plan to get laid" on Thursday night. Though I bristled at his choice of words, I couldn't deny them. The truth was that I wanted Bella badly. I already felt closer to her emotionally than anyone else in my small circle of friends, and I wanted to be closer to her in every other sense as well. All of the younger Cullens had figured out what was going on, and though they were all supportive on the surface, I saw that inwardly they were all worried about things going terribly wrong. Emmett was working and Rosalie was going to the movies with Carlisle and Esme, but Jasper and Alice planned to do homework and watch TV in the den. I knew they were afraid to leave me alone with Bella. And in some ways, I was relieved that someone would be close by, just in case the unthinkable happened. I just kept reminding myself what Carlisle had said. I had to believe that my love for Bella would prevent me from doing anything that could ever harm her.

I couldn't seem to burn off enough nervous energy on Thursday. I traveled deep into the wilderness to hunt, tracking a mountain lion through miles of rocky terrain before attacking it with a vengeance. I let it fight back for awhile before feeding on its sleek, muscular form. When I got back to the Cullens,' I cleaned the house, partly because Bella was coming over, and partly because I needed something else to keep me occupied. I played several video games with Jasper, who was kind enough to refrain from giving me grief about Bella, as Emmett no doubt would have done.

Finally the clock neared 7 p.m., and the blessed sound of the doorbell rang through the house. I ran to answer it, and the sight of Bella standing there instantly put me at ease. I couldn't figure out why my nervousness faded when she was near, but it was as if all was right with the world when I was with her. A flash of lightning split the sky behind her, followed by a low rumble of thunder.

"I think it's going to rain," she said, her voice a little shaky. Could it be she was as nervous as I had been? Maybe she had the same thoughts about tonight that I did. I wished to God that I could get just one glimpse into her brain, but I was forced to wonder, as all humans were, what was going through the mind of their loved ones.

"It's a good night to stay in, then," I said, taking her coat and hanging in the entryway closet. My eyes traveled up and down her body, enjoying the view of her tight navy sweater and jeans that clung tenaciously to every curve. "You look nice," I told her lamely.

"Thanks," she replied, her cheeks coloring for no reason. The sexual tension between us was so thick I could practically see it, stretching between us like guitar strings.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice's voice rang from the den, blessedly cutting through the awkwardness. "You wanna come watch TV with us?"

I steered Bella into the next room so she could say hello to Alice and Jasper, who were sitting with school books, watching an episode of "Bones."

"I thought maybe Bella might like to watch in my room, since I have my own TV now," I reminded Alice with a meaningful look.

"Oh, yeah, of course! Go check it out, Bella! It's awesome. I helped him pick out the home theater system," she said.

"She's such a liar," I sighed as I guided Bella up the stairs and down the hall. She laughed and I continued, "I picked out all the electronics with very little input from her. The froufrou stuff is another story, though," I admitted, opening the door to my room and letting Bella enter ahead of me.

"Wow," Bella exclaimed as her eyes took in all the additions to my humble room. "This is nice. I can't believe you did all this in the past few days. That TV is huge!"

I laughed a little. "Well, sometimes bigger is better," I said, not really intending the innuendo, but not minding that it had slipped out, either. I loved seeing the delicate pink blush spread across her cheeks and chest, and I fought the desire to toss her onto the pillow-covered divan and kiss her. "Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I asked, since she was still eying the huge flat panel screen affixed to the wall.

"Sure, if you want to," she answered unconvincingly. Did I dare ask her what she _did_ want to do? I tried to gauge her thoughts but was denied access as always.

"Let me find the remote," I stalled, making a show of looking for it. I knew it was in the nightstand at the head of the divan.

"These are nice," Bella said, leaning over and inhaling the scent of a group of pillar candles I had set on the chest of drawers. Alice had picked them out, of course, and arranged them artfully on a rustic tray. "The perfect mood-setters," she had dubbed them, insisting that candlelight was quite possibly the most important part of a romantic evening.

I opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a box of matches, as well as the TV remote. I handed Bella the remote and then lit the candles. She tapped the device idly in her hands while she watched me light each wick, then she breathed deeply as the fragrance wafted up from the warm wax. I walked over to the doorway and closed it, then turned off the ceiling light. The flames cast flickering patterns of shadows and light across the room, bathing her in a sensuous, deep amber glow. Apparently, Alice had been right. I walked slowly toward Bella, my eyes fixed upon hers. She stared, unblinking, back at me.

When I stood in front of her, close enough to feel her breath tickle my neck, I asked, "Do you really want to watch TV?" My voice came out low and thick with desire.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered. Her eyes were dark and watery in the candlelight, and seemed filled with longing. I hoped so. If she wanted me even half as much as I wanted her, I would be the luckiest creature on earth.

"Me neither," I replied, taking the TV remote out of her hand and setting it next to the candles. I reached down and took her face in my hands, running my thumbs over her pink lips, studying them as a blind man would. I leaned in and kissed her slowly, savoring the feel of her soft, wet mouth against mine. I licked and tugged at her lips gently, playing with them before I teased her tongue with my own. She whimpered softly, a frustrated sound, which sent a small thrill straight down to my belly. I was going to savor every moment of being with her like this, and I wanted her to crave me as much as I did her at this moment.

Her hands roamed from my jaw down my neck to my chest, and she pushed my plaid shirt open, running her hands over the thin cotton of my t-shirt underneath. My fingers wound through her hair and gently tugged her head back as I deepened our kiss, caressing her mouth with my tongue, relishing the taste of her. Her hands slid down my stomach to the waistband of my jeans, and my cock stiffened at the nearness of her warm skin. I pulled her closer, my hands drifting down to the perfect round cheeks of her ass, squeezing them through her jeans, which drew another muffled moan from Bella. Her arms circled my neck as she pressed herself against me and kissed me passionately. I took the opportunity to gently push her back onto the sofa just as I had imagined doing moments ago, and she pulled me with her, her legs tangling with mine.

"Do you have any idea how much I want you?" I whispered gruffly, covering her face and neck with tiny kisses as my hand roamed down her sweater, exploring each curve along the way.

"I think so," she replied, pushing my shirt impatiently off my shoulders. I propped myself up long enough to remove it entirely and toss it to the floor before falling on her again, pressing into her as much as I dared. Her hands slid under my t-shirt and up my back, leaving torturous firebrands everywhere they touched. I raised myself enough for her hands to repeat their journey up my front, pushing my shirt as they went. I helped her remove the tee and threw it aside, then lay on my side next to her, silently begging her hands to return and burn my flesh some more. She didn't disappoint. I watched as her fingers began a slow descent down my chest, examining every muscle along the way, her eyes following them hungrily. When she traced the deep indentation of my hip down to the fly of my jeans, my breathing quickened and my cock twitched at the prospect of her touch. She hesitated, and I didn't want to force her into anything she wasn't ready for.

I leaned in to kiss her gently on the cheek, and a flash of lightning illuminated her in its brilliance for a moment. Raindrops began splattering the windows, and the candlelight made the water dance in glistening patterns on the pane outside. Bella looked so beautiful against this backdrop that I stopped to gaze at her, letting my eyes and fingers slowly explore the soft curves of her face before they drifted down her neck to her chest. I undid the only two buttons of her v-necked pullover, pressing my lips against the pale skin between her breasts in slow, deliberate kisses. I reached down and worked my hand underneath the hem of her long sweater, slowly pushing it up over her jeans. When the soft flesh of her stomach appeared, I covered it with kisses as well, my lips leaving a trail up her belly as I pushed the sweater up over her bra. She reached down and pulled the v-neck over her head, dropping it on the floor next to my clothes, staring at me the entire time. She bit her lip anxiously, but her eyes were still dark with desire. I reached up and kissed her lips tenderly, letting my mouth lazily explore hers while my hand caressed the fabric of her pale polka-dotted bra, back and forth and around in circles, until her nipples hardened underneath. The front clasp of the bra taunted me, begged me to unsnap it. Had Bella worn it on purpose? Did girls really think like that? I held her gaze while my fingers unhooked the clasp and let the bra fall away from her small but perfect breasts. Her eyes were trusting, though her breathing was shallow and ragged with uncertainty. I continued to gently explore her breasts with my fingers, feeling the perfect roundness of them, rolling the taut pink nipples gently between my fingers. She moaned softly, and I leaned down to taste them, my tongue tickling the quivering knots of flesh until a louder cry of pleasure escaped her lips.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" I asked her softly, returning my mouth to hers, smothering her in kisses as I pressed my naked torso against hers.

"You make me feel beautiful," she answered in between kisses, wrapping her arms around me. Her flesh seared me from my neck to my groin, and I wondered if I felt as cold to her as she felt hot to me. She didn't seem to mind, wrapping her arms and legs around me and pulling me tighter, the rolling thunder outdoors a crescendo spurring me on. I kissed and caressed every inch of her: her shoulders and arms, her breasts, her stomach. Her scent was beginning to make me half-mad with desire, and it was no longer just her blood that tantalized my nose. I could smell her sex faintly through her jeans, and it made my mouth water and my cock stiffen. I unbuttoned and unzipped her pants swiftly, pulling them open and pressing my mouth to the soft skin above the edge of her panties. Her hands tugged at my hair and massaged my scalp, and I took it as a sign to continue. I pulled impatiently at her jeans, but they fit tightly and barely budged from her hips. I was afraid of tearing the fabric, or worse.

Once again, Bella Swan shocked me. She wriggled out from under me and stood up, pushing her pants down and letting them fall around her ankles. She stepped out of them and kicked them away, then stood looking at me, dressed in only her skimpy panties. We gazed at each other in silence, punctuated only by the staccato rhythm of the rain against the windowpanes and the low rumble of thunder in the distance. My eyes swept over her gorgeous form, admiring the way the flickering candlelight danced across her flawless skin.

I grasped her hips gently and pulled her to me, kissing her abdomen. I slowly ran my hands up and down the gentle curve of her hips, her thighs and her firm, round ass. Every inch of her was divine, and I sighed loudly into her stomach before kissing it once more. My mouth traveled up to taste her nipples again, while I worked one hand slowly between her thighs. Her hands gripped my shoulders and her breath came in short, shallow bursts. My eyes sought hers and held them in my gaze, silently asking permission as my hands slowly pushed her panties down her legs. She licked her lip, then bit it, as her underwear fell to the floor. My eyes still riveted to hers, I worked my fingers through the neatly trimmed curls of dark hair between her thighs, and she parted them slightly, letting me in. I stroked the soft folds of flesh there, back and forth, and her body quivered in response, a soft moan vibrating through her. I pressed my fingers back further and was pleasantly surprised to find her dripping wet with desire for me. She dug her short nails harmlessly into my shoulders as my fingers slid easily into her slick opening, my index finger working its way inside her. She groaned in response, her chest heaving, eyes closed as the sensations shook her. She felt so amazing that I thought I would come out of my skin just touching her.

I pushed my finger further inside her. She was incredibly tight, obviously a virgin; but so creamy wet that I had no trouble sliding my finger in as deep as it would go. She gripped my shoulders harder as I began to slowly pump my finger in and out of her, rubbing her swollen clit with the base of my thumb as I worked. Experimentally, I tried sliding a second finger into her, and she let out a low moan as I slowly pushed them deeper, my thumb continuing to stimulate the tender flesh outside.

"Oh, God, Edward," she gasped; and to my amazement, she raised her leg and rested her foot beside my hip on the couch, opening herself up to me. The pungent, delicious smell of her sex assaulted me again, and before I could stop to think, my mouth was on her. I tickled her clit with my tongue, plunging both fingers in and out of her, stroking the sweet spot inside her and making her moan so loudly that my cock throbbed painfully at the glorious sight, taste and sound of her ecstasy. I removed my fingers and began using my tongue instead, flicking it back and forth quickly on her clit and then plunging it deep inside her, over and over, until she was gasping and shaking, clinging to me to keep herself standing upright.

"I want you inside me, Edward," Bella pleaded, pulling herself away from my hungry mouth. "Now."

I was sure sweeter words had never been uttered. I pulled her down next to me on the couch and she began working at the button and zipper of my jeans. As soon as they were undone, she slid her hand down my belly and under my boxer briefs until her fingers met the base of my rigid cock. She grasped it firmly in her scorching hand, and the intense pleasure obliterated the burning heat of her skin as she began stroking me, making me whimper like an animal. I yanked my jeans and underwear down, letting my erection spring free and into her waiting hand. She worked my shaft up and down, slowly at first and then faster, swirling her palm around my swollen head and lubricating me with the fluid she'd milked out of the tip, then plunging down to massage my balls with her fingers at the base. If she didn't stop, I was going to explode all over her hand instead of inside her delicious, wet pussy.

"Wait," I gasped, pushing her back and shoving my hips firmly between her thighs. "I want to come inside you." I stroked her hair out of her flushed face with my hand before leaning in for a punishing kiss, wanting to take her breath away and make her feel as out of control with love and lust as I did right now. I rubbed my cock back and forth between her legs, teasing her hot, wet opening with the head. I felt her hips begin to move in rhythm with mine, her legs wrapping around me. "I've never wanted anyone or anything as much as I want you right now, Bella," I told her desperately.

"Neither have I," she whispered, her hands grasping at me, her swollen red lips raining kisses along my jaw. "I'm yours, Edward."

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning slashed through the night sky outside, striking Bella's ethereal ivory skin in a burst of white-hot light. I stared down at her in wonder, stunned at the exquisite sight of her dark hair spilled over the pillows; her intoxicating green eyes gazing up at me with desire; and her slender, naked body beneath me, open to me, ready to let me inside and become a part of her.

"Beautiful," I murmured as the thunder rolled ominously outside in accompaniment. I leaned down and brushed my lips against the scars on her neck, a silent covenant to her that I would never harm her again; that I would now replace the hurt with only love.

And with that reverent kiss, I sealed my fate.

A shrieking gasp flew abruptly from Bella's lips and her body stiffened beneath me, suddenly ramrod straight. Confused, my eyes searched for hers in the flickering candlelight. And there I found the expression I'd dreaded since the first night that fate had brought us together in a thunderstorm just like this one, its lightning casting the glare of ugly truth over us both.

Recognition.

I was gutted. The bottom fell out of my world as I watched the gamut of emotions sweep over her face in rapid succession. Confusion. Disbelief. Shock. Hurt. And, finally, Fear.

"It was you," she whispered hoarsely at last, her eyes enormous, terrified, accusing. "You did this to me." Her hand instinctively raised to protect her throat.

I nodded imperceptibly, barely able to move. I was frozen in horror, hovering above her, waiting for the full force of her reaction. She cowered away from me, futilely pushing at the iron cage of my encircling arms and chest. I watched helplessly as she clawed at the quilt next to us and pulled it over her naked body, recoiling from me as I slowly released her and sat upright, my heart pounding like a wrecking ball against my ribs. I stared at Bella in mute terror, bracing myself.

"You lied to me this entire time," she said quietly, her voice raspy, her eyes welling with tears. "You knew what you were…what you did…and yet you let me go on like a fool…." her voice trailed to a mere whisper and one tear rolled down her cheek.

"Please don't cry, Bella," I begged, reaching out to wipe the tear away.

"Don't touch me!" she gasped, her words a dagger that plunged straight through my agonized heart. In my head I immediately heard the echo of her voice from less than a week ago: _Don't ever apologize for touching me. _There was certainly no apology I could offer now to undo the damage I'd inflicted, but I couldn't stop the urge to try. I cringed in anguish as a torrent of frantic explanations poured out of me.

"I didn't know what I was when you ran into me in the rain that night," I said in desperation. "I had no idea what was about to happen. I was wracked with hunger and thirst, but I didn't know what my body was craving. I couldn't eat any of that food in the cabin…couldn't keep it down no matter how hard I tried. When I smelled your blood, I lost all control. I couldn't think; I couldn't stop. When I realized what I had done, I was horrified---disgusted with myself. I couldn't rest until I knew you were okay. You have no idea how it's haunted me…how much I wish I could take it all back; make it as if it never happened," I finished miserably, searching her face for any hint of understanding or absolution, even though I deserved neither.

She stared vacantly in the vicinity of my chest for what felt like minutes. Finally she spoke.

"At least it makes sense now," she said slowly, as if in a trance. "I could never figure out why, out of all the girls you could have had, you picked me. First there was the mind-reading thing…that explained it, a little. But now, I get it." She lifted her tear-filled eyes to mine. "Guilt."

I stared at her in stunned amazement for a moment. "No," I protested loudly, wanting to reach out to her but afraid to move. "Maybe it was guilt at first," I amended, trying to explain. "I couldn't stand the possibility that I had ended your life. I had to make sure that you were okay. But after those nights I spent with you in the hospital, it felt like so much more. And then when we met in the store, I knew that what I felt for you was way beyond just easing my guilty conscience."

Her eyes grew round in renewed outrage. "You were at the hospital?" she exclaimed. "You watched me while I slept?" She looked as if this were the most vile thing she had ever heard. Each new horrified reaction from Bella felt as if I were being stabbed; each wave of her disgust creating a fresh wound inside me. She shrank into the corner of the couch, clearly desperate to be as far away from me as she could get.

"I had to see for myself that you were okay," I repeated, my voice ghostly quiet. "You were the only thing that mattered to me. You still are."

She shook violently, pulling the quilt tightly around her, unable to look me in the eye. "You already knew who I was when you came to Newton's," she said, half to herself, as if she were working it all out in her mind. "You pretended you'd never met me before. And then at the party…you never paid attention to anyone but me…now I know why." She lifted her eyes to mine, and her silent accusations chilled me to the bone more than any vampire's bite ever could. "Of course it was guilt. Or maybe some twisted obsession with your first victim?" she guessed, her voice tinged with growing hysteria.

"That's not it," I denied futilely. "It has nothing to do with that. You're special to me in a way that I can never explain, in a way I don't think you can ever understand. Your blood is like a drug to me… it sings to me like no other. There will never be another victim, because I will never let myself lose control like I did with you that night. I will never take a human life the way I almost took yours. And I will never desire another human the way I do you. You are everything to me, Bella. You're my whole world."

My words once again had the opposite of their intended effect and she recoiled further, her eyes wild with disbelief. "So my blood is like caviar, or something? Like some delicacy you get a craving for?" she snorted with a crazy-sounding laugh, reminiscent of the wild cackles I'd emitted at the beginning of my unbelievable journey. "Well, this is some seduction scene you had going here. It was really working. I was going to let you fuck me before you finish me off for good. You even had me begging for it!" Tears streamed down her face, and her words sickened me so much that I thought I might actually vomit.

"You know that I would never, ever harm you again," I rasped, my voice quaking. "And you know I would never just 'fuck' you as if you meant nothing to me." I grabbed her chin gently though she tried to shy away. "Look at me, Bella," I demanded. She shifted her eyes angrily to mine. "I love you. I am in love with you. I wanted to make love to you tonight because I wanted to show you how much you mean to me instead of just telling you." Her eyes softened momentarily, and a ray of hope lit my darkness. "I made a mistake by not telling you the truth, I know that," I admitted. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I've struggled with this for so long, not knowing what would be best for you."

"Best for _me_?" she spat, jerking her chin out of my hand. "This had nothing to do with me. You were trying to save your sorry self from having to tell me that you're a--- _vampire_." She uttered the word like the curse it was. "And not just any vampire…the vampire who nearly bled me dry and left me to rot on the side of the road."

"No," I pleaded, feeling tears well in my eyes. I wasn't even sure vampires could cry, but my eyes felt strange and full. "I never would have left you there. Your father arrived in the police car and I knew help was coming. I wanted you to live, Bella. I've never wanted anything so much in my life. I thank God every day for sparing you."

"And alleviating your guilt in the process," she added bitterly. "You don't know what love is, Edward. If you did, you wouldn't have lied to me all these weeks. You wouldn't have let me act like some lovesick fool, ready to just blindly accept you with open arms, completely clueless about what you did to me. If you loved me, you would have told me what I was getting myself into. You would have trusted me with the truth."

My face fell. I could argue with her no longer, because I knew she was right. I had failed her once again. And this time, I needed to accept it and let her go.

"Will you please leave now so I can get dressed?" Bella asked in a low, hollow voice.

I nodded slowly and rose from the couch, zipping my jeans and grabbling my clothes off of the floor. I picked hers up as well and laid them gently on the couch at her feet. I left the bedroom and closed the door behind me, staggering down the hall to the bathroom. When I caught sight of my face in the mirror, I was dumbstruck to see that the whites of my eyes were red, two scarlet streaks running from the corners of them down my stone cheeks. Blood tears. No wonder she had been nothing but repulsed at my attempts to explain myself and to apologize for my terrible lie. One look at me was proof enough that I was a monster that should be driven away at all costs.

I fell to my knees and vomited into the toilet, choked sobs racking my body. I wanted to die. I would make the Cullens tear me to pieces and burn me into cinders, and it would still be nothing to the torture that Bella's devastated expression inflicted upon me.

I heard my bedroom door open and shut. I splashed water on my face, quickly pulled my t-shirt over my head and raced into the hall, nearly knocking Bella down as she hurried past me.

"Let me take you home," I insisted, following her down the stairs. "You shouldn't be driving like this."

"I'm fine," she lied, avoiding my concerned gaze. When she got to the landing, she stopped short and looked at Jasper and Alice, who were sitting on the couch talking. They looked up at us guiltily, and their thoughts belied that they already knew what had happened.

Suddenly Bella gasped, and I realized she was staring at the two vampires with comprehension for the first time. "Oh my God," she sobbed. "All of you…you're all…." She shook her head violently and ran to the front closet, quickly retrieving her coat and yanking the front door open. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Bella, wait," I called desperately after her.

_Let her go_, Alice admonished me silently. I turned and unleashed my fury upon her. "You knew this was going to happen. You knew, and you didn't warn me! How the hell did you manage to keep it from me, anyway?"

Her face remained placid. "It needed to happen," Alice said softly. "It was time."

I blanched in disbelief, feeling completely betrayed. "Time for her to be blind-sided? When is it ever time for that?"

"It's going to be all right, Edward," Alice said calmly. "All of this will pass."

I shook my head and let out a deranged laugh. "You and your visions are seriously fucked up. I'm going to make sure Bella gets home okay. I'll deal with you later," I threatened. She and Jasper looked singularly unimpressed.

Disgusted, I grabbed my winter coat, left the house and slammed the door behind me, knocking its hinges askew. I ran after Big Red as it trundled down the gravel road, hiding in the trees so that Bella wouldn't see me trailing after her. I watched as she ran into the house, clutching her coat tightly around her, her face down. Climbing the tree outside her window, I observed her getting ready for bed, feeling guilty for being her voyeur once again, but desperate to see her and make sure she would be all right. I watched in agony as she curled up in bed, hugging her pillow to her, her face contorted in pain as tears streamed down her cheeks. I forced myself to watch, to feel just how badly I had hurt her, to know just how much impact my mistakes had made. Surely she must love me, or she wouldn't have been so crushed. But that knowledge only made me more self-loathing than I had ever dreamed possible. I watched until her sobs subsided and a troubled sleep overtook her, and then I leaped down from my perch and was sick again, heaving nothing but thin, putrid bile from my empty stomach.

I wandered mindlessly through the woods near her house, wondering what on earth I could do to prevent myself from going mad. I finally decided to head to Jake's, hoping that Emmett could somehow talk me down off the ledge. If not, he could probably kill me and save me from my self-made purgatory.

The crowd was thinning by the time I got to the bar, as it was near closing time. I wished like hell that I could get drunk and obliterate the last couple of hours from my mind. I couldn't believe that I had gone from the most incredible experience of my existence to my worst nightmare realized in the space of a minute. I sat on an abandoned bar stool and buried my face in my hands, wishing I could erase Bella's betrayed face from the backs of my eyelids.

"You look like hell," Emmett's voice met my ears as he leaned over the bar in front of me. "Do I have to ask what happened?"

I shook my head and managed to utter, "She remembered."

Emmett sighed and said, "I wish I could give you a beer and make it better. But I guess you knew it was bound to happen, right?"

"I was hoping it never would," I sighed. "I guess I was an idiot to think her amnesia was permanent. Unlike mine," I added absently.

Emmett gave my forearm a quick squeeze in empathy. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but maybe it's for the best. You would have gone on for who knows how long, living in fear that this day would come? Well, it came. It's done. Now you can deal with it."

"There's nothing to deal with," I said, my voice sounding as dead as my body was. "It's over. She hates me. And she should."

Emmett shook his head. "You don't know that," he told me quietly. "After she's had time to think about everything, she might be able to forgive you. I mean, you explained to her that you didn't even know you were a vampire, right? You had no idea what you were doing. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was the worst possible circumstances all coming together at the same time."

"She doesn't care," I contradicted him. "I think it was the lie that bothered her more than anything. She doesn't trust me anymore. And she never should have," I added darkly.

"Don't do this to yourself, man," Emmett advised. "There's no use in beating yourself up over it. You've done everything you could. You have to try to give it some time. You might be surprised at how everything turns out. How many times has Alice told you that she's seen the two of you together? You gotta put some faith in that."

"Alice is full of shit," I retorted. "She knew this was coming and she did nothing to warn me. And she never saw that vampire attack east of here. I'm beginning to think her so-called visions are worthless."

"I've known her a lot longer than you have," Emmett reminded me. "Long enough to believe her when she tells me something. You gotta hang onto that, or you're going to drive yourself crazy. Don't go down that road. Keep it together, man. Tomorrow's another day, and all that."

I laughed at his trite adage and slammed my hand on the bar as I got up from the stool. "Thanks for the advice, Emmett, but I think I'll just deal with this my own way," I announced, heading for the door.

"Ohmigod, Edward!" a familiar high-pitched squeal met my ears as I grabbed for the door handle. "Wait up!" I looked to find Lauren Mallory grabbing her coat off of a nearby chair and running after me. Just what I needed, her annoying yap assaulting me with her usual pointless chatter.

"Hey, Lauren," I greeted her unenthusiastically. "What are you doing here so late on a school night?"

She pointed back to a table of some college kids playing drinking games. "My brother came back early for Thanksgiving break. He's been sneaking me beers all night. Ssshhhh, don't tell Emmett! I don't wanna get kicked out for good!" she giggled, her beer breath an affront to my nostrils.

"Your secret is safe with me," I told her, then laughed at how inconsequential her secret was compared to the one I had kept from Bella for so long.

"Are you really leaving already?" she whined, batting her mascara-laden eyelashes at me. "Can I come with you?"

"You can't come where I'm going," I told her bluntly. The truth was, I didn't have a clue where I was going or how I planned to get through the night. "I'll give you a ride home, though. You shouldn't be driving if you've been drinking."

"Would you? My car is here; you can drive it. Oh, but then how will you get home?" she babbled. Before I could answer, she turned and yelled over to her brother's table, "Edward is giving me a ride home! See you tomorrow!" She waved and turned her excited face to mine. I tried to give her a brief smile in return, though being near her only turned my stomach. The smell of her thick perfume and the alcohol in her system fought with the pure, sweet scent of her blood, and my nose wrinkled in distaste.

She handed me the keys to her Honda Civic and gave me directions to her house, which was on the outskirts of town, not far from the forest where I'd spent a perfect morning with Bella mere days ago. I ignored Lauren's inane prattle about how no one at school would believe how lucky she was to get a ride home from Edward Cullen tonight, and did I realize how hot I was? And how every girl was dying to date me?

"_Dying_ to date me, huh?" I repeated as I pulled up into the Mallory drive. "Truer words were never spoken," I told her, laughing like a loon at my own sick joke.

"Come on, Edward," Lauren cooed, pulling closer to me as I put the vehicle in park and turned off the engine. "You can have anyone you want. You can do so much better than Bella Swan." She said the name as if Bella were inconsequential, unworthy. I felt prickles of indignation rise all over my skin.

"You think so, huh?" I asked her, not responding as she wrapped her fingers around the thick down of my coat sleeve. "So, I assume when you're talking about someone 'better' than Bella, you're talking about yourself?"

"Of course," she grinned, pulling closer, her face inches from mine. "That uptight little virgin can never give you what you want."

"But you can?" I countered, picking up the beat of her heart thumping rhythmically in her neck.

"You have no idea," she purred, pulling at the collar of my jacket and beginning to kiss my jaw. "I can do things to you that will make your head spin."

"I'll bet you can," I replied, fighting the urge to tell her what a sad, pathetic piece of work she was. She kept trying to turn my head to hers so that she could kiss me, but I was too repulsed to even consider it. Still, the beat of her heart thudded dully but insistently in my head, and the smell of her blood began to rise above the fake perfume and hairspray in which Lauren had doused herself.

"I have no idea what you ever saw in that mousey little dishrag," Lauren continued in my ear, licking my earlobe and making me squirm uncomfortably. "She's so plain, and she has no figure whatsoever."

"Shut up," I told Lauren quietly, her barbs directed at Bella pricking me instead.

"Oooh, are we gonna play like that, then?" She laughed and scooted closer to me, throwing her leg over mine as she pulled herself around to face me, apparently determined to kiss me on the mouth. "I can't believe you'd ever get upset over that little _nothing_ of a girl," she went on, running her hands down my face and rubbing her thumb over my bottom lip. I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to look at her painted face, which only made the scent of her blood sting my nostrils more potently.

Suddenly Lauren pressed her mouth to mine, and I grimaced at the feel of her sticky lip gloss coating my lips. Her heartbeat began to pound more loudly in my head, and I could feel the blood thirst rising, making me ignore the disgust I felt for the girl who was throwing herself at me so shamelessly.

Lauren tore her lips from mine and emitted one of her annoying giggles. "Loosen up, Edward! Honestly, I won't bite," she grinned, making me break out into a short hyena laugh of my own.

"But I will, if you don't shut up, " I warned her, giving her what she wanted, kissing her back. Her lips and tongue were alien, and I felt nothing but distaste as I plumbed her mouth with my tongue, kissing her hard, not stopping until she pulled away, gasping.

"God, I knew you'd be an animal!" she exclaimed, clearly turned on by my roughness. "No way could Bella Swan handle you. Not like I can," she said smugly, and my hackles rose again at Lauren's insults. She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, "When I'm through with you, you will see her for exactly the nobody she is."

Lauren's voice began to sound very far away as she went on with her little tirade, promising to be everything to me that Bella was not. How dare this nasty little shrew talk about my beautiful Bella as if she were dirt under Lauren's shoe? My head pounded with fury as Lauren stuck her tongue in my ear, sending waves of revulsion down my spine. Her aorta was mere inches from my mouth, pulsing, throbbing, begging me to sink my teeth into it and end this worthless harpy's life. She opened up her mouth to speak again, and I couldn't stand the thought of listening to one more slanderous word about Bella fall from her lips.

"Shut up!" I screamed. The madness overtook me, and I dove straight for the pulse of her neck.


	11. Homecoming

_Thanks again, everyone, for the reviews, favorites, alerts and so on for Amnesia...I appreciate them all! _

_This is the last chapter I have "in the can"---I'm in the middle of writing Chapter 12 right now and hope to finish it this weekend or early next week. _

_So without further ado, bring on the angst and lemons...._

_**Bella**_

"Lauren Mallory is dead."

I gaped at Jessica Stanley as if she'd just told me the world was flat.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, putting my coat and books in my school locker. I was still so shell-shocked from last evening with Edward that I could barely register Jessica's words. At first I had wanted to lie in bed all day and wallow in my misery, but then I realized that I might go completely mad if I had only my memories of last night to distract me. At least school would force me to concentrate on something other than the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that mercilessly battered me from the inside out.

"They found her body in the woods by her house this morning," she said tensely, her face a strange mixture of shock and excitement. "Her neck was all torn up like yours was. I can't believe your dad didn't tell you!"

I rubbed my forehead, the dull headache I'd awakened with now beginning to throb insistently. "Charlie had already left for work when I got up this morning," I told her. Had he been called in early because of Lauren's death? Was it really possible? And if so, who or what would have attacked her like that? It couldn't have been…I shook my head as if to knock the notion out of my brain. "Are you sure it's true?" I asked Jessica with a growing feeling of dread. "Are you sure it's not just a rumor?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Tyler went to pick her up for school this morning and saw the ambulance and police cars." Jessica grabbed my arm and leaned in to whisper, "Bella, you are not going to like what he heard them saying." She bit her lip pensively.

"Why, what is it?" My stomach dropped as I realized there was only one thing she could possibly be talking about, considering the way Lauren had been killed.

"The last person Lauren was seen with was Edward Cullen. They left Jake's together," she said dramatically, practically salivating at being the bearer of this crushing piece of news.

I shook my head slowly. "That's not possible," I insisted, knowing damned well that it was. "He had last night off."

"Well, for whatever reason, he showed up at the bar last night. He gave Lauren a ride home, or at least that's what her brother told the cops. Tyler heard it himself!"

My stomach rolled violently and I thought I might be sick. I had already thrown up this morning after a half-hearted attempt at eating some breakfast, so there was nothing left to come up.

"Do they suspect Edward or something?" I asked weakly as I took out my English books and began walking with Jess to first period.

"Well, I doubt it, since it looks like she was attacked by a wild animal like you were. But he was the last person to see her alive, so you know they're going to want to question him."

I nodded silently, a wave of unwelcome panic washing over me. He couldn't have done it, could he? Fool that I was, I still wanted to believe that he wasn't capable of such violence, even after I had been the victim of it myself. Once the shock and hurt of Edward's admissions last night had finally dulled, I realized that I believed him when he said he never meant to hurt me, and would never turn on another human being again. I must be an idiot to trust him, for what kind of vampire would show remorse for his actions? And yet his shocking tears of blood drove the truth home to me as nothing else could have. Edward Cullen couldn't bear the thought of being a murderer. There was no way he could have done this.

I could scarcely concentrate in any of my classes all morning, my stomach knotted tensely as each teacher paid respects to Lauren and encouraged us all to visit the school clinic for grief counseling if we needed it. Most of the kids looked stunned, so my barely-concealed turmoil went unnoticed. So much for school being a welcome diversion to my troubled thoughts. I couldn't even continue to be angry with Edward, because my fear for him overshadowed every other emotion.

The bell finally rang for lunch. I trudged slowly toward the cafeteria, wondering vaguely if I might be able to keep down a sandwich . The nonstop talk all around me of Lauren's untimely demise felt like the final death knell on my already failing appetite.

"Bella, I need to talk to you." Alice Cullen's wind chime voice ringing suddenly in my ear nearly made me jump out of my skin. Once again, she had seemed to materialize next to me out of thin air. At least now I knew why.

"I don't think you have anything to say to me that I want to hear," I rebuffed her coldly, picking up my pace as I hurried down the hall. She matched my stride effortlessly, and with much more grace.

"Edward is missing," she said a bit ominously.

"I don't care where Edward is," I retorted, but my traitorous heart began pounding uneasily.

"I don't believe that," Alice argued. "I think I know where he is, but I need your help."

I stopped and whirled to face her. "Why on earth would I want to help you? Any of you?" I asked angrily. I tried to calm myself before the tears began to well up in my eyes again. I'd be damned if I'd let her see me cry over her and her brother's deceit.

Alice entreated me with her best doe-eyed, imploring gaze and said, "Because I know you love Edward, despite everything that's happened."

I tried to make my mouth form words of denial, but they wouldn't come. I shook my head uselessly as Alice gently grabbed my arm. "Come on, have lunch with me. We need to talk this out."

"But you don't eat," I grumbled as I followed her to a secluded corner of the cafeteria. The room was eerily hushed, the somber mood seeming to encourage everyone to only whisper about what had happened to Lauren Mallory. No one paid any attention to Alice and me as we sat, lunchless, our heads bent close over the table.

"I'm worried about Edward," she began. "He was furious with me last night, because I saw how things would end between you two, but I didn't tell him. He followed after you to make sure you got home safely, and then went to talk to Emmett at the bar. He left with Lauren and we haven't seen him since. And of course, now that he finally has a cell phone, he's not answering it."

"Wait a minute, back up," I stopped her, having a déjà vu of my conversation with Edward. "What do you mean, you _saw_ what was going to happen between us?"

"I see the future sometimes. It's my thing," Alice shrugged, as if clairvoyance were some hobby she had an aptitude for, like drawing or playing the trombone. I must have been staring at her like a half-wit because she clarified, "You know, like Edward can read minds. I see things before they occur, and if I'm lucky, I'm able to stop the bad ones from happening. If not, this is the result." She gestured toward the fading scars on my neck.

I stared incredulously a moment before replying, "So you knew I would remember everything, and you didn't warn Edward?" I wasn't sure how I felt about that. On the one hand, I was glad she didn't interfere and keep me in the dark any longer. On the other, it meant that Edward left feeling angry and betrayed by his new family. Even though he deserved it, my stupid heart ached for him all the same.

Alice nodded. "I'm sorry, Bella, but it needed to happen. We could all see it coming, and we knew it would hurt you both; but the lies were eating him up inside, and it wasn't fair to you either. He loves you so much, Bella. He was so afraid of losing you that he just kept hanging onto the hope that you'd never remember, and the past could stay where it belongs."

"But I trusted him, Alice," I replied, my voice cracking. I could feel the hurt and anger stirring my blood and pricking my tear ducts. "I loved him unconditionally. I was ready to give him everything, and he ruined it with the biggest possible secret he could have kept from me. He should have trusted me with the truth, but he didn't. And now…what if he was so upset that he actually…." I couldn't bring myself to voice my worst fears.

"I don't think he killed Lauren," Alice whispered, so softly I could barely hear her. "It was just like the night he attacked you---it was so unexpected, I didn't see it coming. All of a sudden I had a vision of a figure hovering over her, draining her, and then running; but I couldn't make out his face. I just keep seeing the back of a dark jacket and jeans…it could have been anyone. I've tried to focus on the killer's identity, but I can't place him. If it had been Edward, I would have seen, I would have known. I'm almost sure of it."

"'Almost' sure isn't sure enough," I said worriedly.

"Bella, do you honestly think Edward is capable of killing someone? Even someone as irritating as Lauren was? Sorry, I shouldn't speak ill of the dead," she added guiltily.

"I don't know, Alice. I hope he's not capable of that." Every fiber of my being desperately wanted to believe every word Edward uttered last evening. His words haunted me all night long, as did the fresh memories of what had happened all those weeks ago when he attacked me. When my initial horror subsided, I remembered that when his teeth were sunk into my flesh, a strange calm had come over me. I had been lulled into a trance by the sound of my blood pumping in Edward's heart and rushing through his veins. I couldn't conceive of how I'd been able to hear such a thing, but the steady pulse of it seemed to have permeated every cell in my body, as if we had somehow merged into one being. It was so surreal a memory that it seemed like only a vivid dream--except for the fact that I very nearly felt the same connection again with Edward last night. The way he touched me, the amazing things he did to me….he provoked such an intense response in me that I quivered at the mere memory. I felt totally out of control of my body's responses, and it was strangely exhilarating. I wanted to give myself over to him completely and let him consume me, much like he had that night on the side of the road in the rain. The intensity of my desire for him shook me to the core, and I couldn't let go of the yearning, no matter what mistakes he had made.

Alice interrupted my reverie. "Bella, you need to decide: do you believe in Edward or not?" She gently squeezed my forearm on the table, her eyes pleading.

I looked at her and gave her a resigned nod.

"Then help me find him," she begged. Her eyes drifted up and away, as if she saw something fascinating on the cafeteria wall. "He's thinking of leaving Forks, but he hasn't decided where to go. I keep seeing him in some kind of little room…it looks like a cabin of some sort. Jasper knows where some of them are in the woods around here from our hunting expeditions, but we're afraid that Edward will hear us coming and run."

"Wait, 'hunting expeditions?'" I asked blankly, until understanding dawned. "So you all live off of the blood of animals?"

Alice nodded impatiently. "Didn't Edward tell you that? None of us is willing to take human life. None of us wanted this…we were all made into vampires against our will."

I nodded and replied, "I've been so caught up in the craziness of the past 24 hours that I guess I hadn't really worked out how you all were existing," I admitted, feeling a bit foolish.

Alice squeezed my arm again sympathetically. "Of course. I'm sure you never even dreamed we existed at all until last night. It's a lot to process, I know. But we don't have much time. We need to find Edward before he runs. You're the only one whose thoughts he can't read---he won't know you're near until he picks up your scent. Besides, he won't be able to run from you anyway, Bella." She looked at me hopefully, the unspoken question in her eyes.

"I know where he is," I admitted, picturing Edward in the deer stand that had been his only safe haven for the past few weeks. "If you point me in the right direction, I think I can find it."

Alice sighed in relief. "Thank you. I don't want to lose my new brother…I've grown pretty fond of him," she said with a wink. "If anybody can talk him out of disappearing and give him a reason to stay, it's you."

I nodded silently. The thought of never seeing Edward again filled me with such dread that his past mistakes seemed insignificant, or at least forgivable. And I couldn't entertain the thought that he might be guilty of killing Lauren. It simply couldn't be true. If it were, I would have to ask some hard questions of myself that I wasn't sure I wanted to answer.

"Meet me and Jasper after school, okay? We'll take you out in the woods as far as we can," Alice said.

"I'll skip 8th period study hall so we can go sooner," I suggested.

"Great. Meet us in the parking lot," she replied as the bell signaled the end of lunch.

The next two periods dragged interminably as I worried about getting to Edward in time. What if he decided to disappear for good? Would he really leave Forks without so much as a good-bye to any of us? _He would if he's guilty. _I silenced the unwelcome voice in my head and instead tried to think of what I would say to make him stay. Running would only make him look guilty, regardless of his innocence. I was sure there couldn't be any real evidence tying him to the crime. And if it looked like another animal attack, there wouldn't be any reason to keep him after questioning. I shuddered slightly at the idea that Charlie might be the one grilling Edward. If Dad had had any misgivings about Edward before, this was sure to push him over the edge and make him forbid me from ever seeing Edward again. Not to mention the niggling detail that the boy I loved was, in fact, a vampire. I wasn't entirely sure how I intended to get past that one myself.

I practically ran to the parking lot after 7th period ended, heading straight for the shiny silver Volvo parked near the entrance of the school drive. Jasper already had the engine going, and I hopped in the back with barely a "hello" to either him or Alice.

"How are you holding up, Bella?" Jasper asked worriedly from the driver's seat as we peeled out of the parking lot and headed for the outskirts of town.

"Okay, I guess," I replied unconvincingly as I watched the trees outside zoom by at warp speed. Was it a vampire thing or just a guy thing to drive like a maniac?

"I'm really sorry we kept the truth from you for so long," Jasper lamented, giving me a sympathetic glance over the back seat. "We try to keep our existence on the ultra D.L., if you know what I mean," he said with a mirthless grin. "You could say our kind frowns upon being exposed to humans."

"I know you were just trying to be loyal to Edward," I told him. "That's kind of nice, actually. He doesn't have anyone else, other than your family."

"And you," Alice chimed in, giving me a meaningful look over the headrest.

I gave Alice a weak smile in reply, then gave Jasper directions to the trail that Edward and I had taken into the forest last weekend. Could it have been just a few days ago that I had been so happy? Edward had finally revealed his true self to me, or so I thought. What would I have done if he had admitted the entire truth, then and there? Would I have run away screaming? Could I have remained calm even if I'd wanted to? I begrudgingly had to admit to myself that there was no way Edward could have made this any easier on either of us. We met under the most absurdly horrifying circumstances possible. There was no way to sugarcoat the brutal truth.

Jasper pulled up next to the entrance of the trail and asked how far we needed to hike. I told him that it seemed like we had walked a half-hour before we took a detour off to the southeast.

"We don't have that kind of time," Alice warned.

"Hop on, Bella," Jasper encouraged as soon as we got out of the car. I jumped up, piggyback style, across Jasper's wiry back and squeezed my eyes shut as he grabbed hold of me and began to run. The whirr of the brush speeding by, and Alice's impossibly rapid footsteps right behind us, were all I could hear as Jasper sped deep into the woods. He slowed after a bit and asked me if we were close. I looked around, disoriented for a moment, and then recognized a large rocky outcrop ahead that had been the point where Edward had veered off the trail.

"Good guess," Jasper chuckled, letting me down on solid ground again. "After awhile we get pretty good at the whole human-to-vampire speed conversion. A half-hour at your pace takes us about a minute."

I shook my head, trying to get my bearings. I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to "vampire speed."

"Are you guys going to wait here?" I asked nervously, suddenly apprehensive about setting off into the forest alone.

"Of course! Check your cell, do you have service?" Alice said.

I looked at my phone and noticed with relief that I did. "I'll call you if I get lost, okay?"

Jasper and Alice nodded. "Don't worry, we'll find you in a flash if you need us," Jasper assured me.

"But you won't," Alice grinned. I suddenly got the feeling that she had just seen a glimpse of the future. If she had, she wasn't spilling. Still, I felt a little more confident as I set out in the direction that seemed most familiar, trying to remember how long it had taken us to find the cabin. I realized with a sinking feeling that Edward had carried me most of the way there, and half the way back. I had no idea how long it would take at my clumsy, all-too-mortal pace. Worse yet, I wasn't sure if I was even headed in precisely the right direction. I pushed eastward, looking for familiar landmarks and trying not to trip over the gnarled roots of the thickening trees in my path.

"Edward?" I called out uncertainly, hoping his hearing was as supernatural as the rest of his vampire skills. I wondered how far it was to the clearing, and if I was anywhere in the vicinity. I began to daydream about how shockingly beautiful Edward had been in the sunlight last Sunday, sparkling and chiseled like a masterfully sculpted Greek statue. As I'd stood there, timidly touching his shimmering skin, the texture of it suddenly made sense: smooth, cold and impervious as stone, yet incongruently pliant and supple, as normal skin would be. I longed to see him now, right in front of me, glimmering in the dim sun splashes that seeped through the latticework of evergreens and bare branches above.

I called his name again, my voice quickly carried away on the breeze. Only silence answered, along with the lilting song of a bird here and there, and the crunch of my boots trudging through the dead leaves and brush underfoot. My eyes were glued to the ground as I climbed carefully around the overgrown roots of the massive trees in my path, and that's why I didn't see it at first. Only when the menacing growl met my ears did I look up---into the beady black eyes of a large bear, crouching mere yards away.

A muffled scream caught in my throat, reduced to a tiny, ineffectual squeak. I was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. My heart pounded in panic as the black bear stared me down, apparently sizing up the potential threat. Surely it would comprehend that I was harmless, and hopefully far too big for an afternoon snack. Apparently the creature saw things differently. Suddenly it raised up on its haunches and roared its displeasure, sending a wave of terror from my scalp to my toes. I stood frozen, knowing that I would lose the race if I ran. My stomach dropped as the bear fell back on all fours and began to charge toward me.

"Edward," I cried helplessly, my voice sounding small and pathetic to my own ears as I closed my eyes and waited for impending death.

The bear's roar assaulted my ears again, terrifyingly close; but then it stopped abruptly, ending in a strange gurgling sound. My eyes flew open to see a blur of limbs and fur a dozen feet from me. A loud, sickening crack of bones breaking ripped through the air and the bear suddenly slumped lifelessly to the earth. Standing over its body, chest heaving, eyes blazing at me like burning coals, was Edward Cullen.

I gaped at him in grateful disbelief, still shaking with fear. It was one thing to know what Edward was capable of, but quite another to see it in action with my own two eyes. I wanted to throw my arms around him and thank him for saving me, but something in his expression stopped me. His eyes, seemingly frantic with concern at first, quickly darkened and he took a step back.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" he demanded. He sounded almost angry that I had found him. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"You…how did you…." my voice faltered as I searched for the words, staring in shock at the massive animal that Edward had easily, impossibly decimated in the literal blink of an eye.

He laughed bitterly. "What do you think I've been living off of for the past couple of months?"

"I…I don't know," I answered, shaking my head. "Thank you for saving me," I added in a small voice.

Edward scowled in reply. "Why are you here?" he asked again in a low voice.

"The Cullens are worried about you," I answered feebly, suddenly nervous as I stared at Edward's sullen face.

"The Cullens?" he said with a skeptical laugh. "Why would they send you to do their dirty work?"

"Because they were afraid you'd run," I told him quietly, stung by his gruffness. I hesitated, then added, "The police found Lauren Mallory's body this morning. She's dead."

Edward didn't look surprised, and my heart sank. "Do they know what killed her?" he asked warily.

"It looks like an animal attack again," I answered cautiously, trying to gauge his reaction. His face remained impassive, so I pressed on. "Everyone's saying that you were the last person seen with her last night." The words almost got stuck in my throat, they were so painful to say out loud.

"I suppose I was," he answered, his voice bereft of emotion. Silence fell heavily between us as we stared at one another. I kept searching his face for some clue as to what had happened; some guilt or remorse behind his gray eyes; but found only the same dull, flat stare. Was this the same Edward who had been so tender and emotional less than 24 hours ago? How could he have turned so cold and lifeless?

Finally he spoke. "Do you think I killed her?" His voice cracked slightly, and I thought I saw a hint of something in his eyes.

"I don't know what to think anymore," I answered truthfully. He winced slightly, and I finally saw the flicker of feeling that I'd been looking for. He still cared what I thought, even if nothing else touched him.

His face hardened again and he replied, "Why wouldn't you think I was capable of murder? And lying afterward to cover it up." His lips twitched slightly.

"I don't want to believe it," I whispered. "I want to believe everything you said to me last night."

He looked stricken. "But you can't?" he asked. The storm clouds began to form in his eyes, and I could see the Edward I fell in love with under the façade. I could feel his need, palpable and raw, seething under his stone surface.

I took a deep breath and said firmly, "If you tell me you didn't kill Lauren, I'll believe you."

Edward's stoic mask crumpled, his face collapsing in a contradictory mixture of worry and relief. "I didn't kill her," he insisted. "I did give her a ride home from Jake's, which was more than I should have done, as it turned out." He took a couple of tentative steps toward me, his eyes searching mine. "I wanted to kill her. You have no idea how close I came to going through with it. I thought I'd lost everything, so what did it matter if I gave in?"

"So what stopped you?"

He inched closer to me as if he were afraid I might run away. "You." His eyes bored into mine, and I could see the desperation there. I suddenly realized just how frustrating it must be for my mind to be closed to him, when others were an open book. "I promised you I would never hurt you or any other human being again." He said it as if it were fact, not wishful thinking, that he would keep his word.

I looked into his pleading eyes and felt nothing but trust, even though the rational part of my brain insisted it was madness to do so. "I believe you," I told him, and I meant it.

Edward closed his eyes briefly and let out a long breath. "I don't expect you to forgive me," he said brokenly. "I don't deserve it. I wish I had done things differently. I would give anything to never have hurt you." His velvet voice was so heavy with sadness that the last vestiges of my anger seemed to crumble under the weight of it. "At least I won't have the opportunity to make any more mistakes with you," he added quietly, his eyes drifting to the ground between us.

"What do you mean?" I asked, anxiety seizing me.

His gaze rose to meet mine. "I'm leaving Forks."

Panic swept over me and I shook my head in denial. "No. You can't."

"I have to, Bella. Can you imagine what would happen if the police--if your father--decided to hold me for questioning? Or fingerprint and book me? It can't happen. I can't live in the human world that way anymore."

"They would only do that if they suspected you of killing Lauren," I argued. "And they won't find any evidence of that, will they?"

Edward stared at the earth for a moment. "They could find one of my hairs on her clothing, I suppose. Or my DNA in her saliva," he added hollowly.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head at his last admission. "What are you saying? Did you…sleep with her?" I could barely choke out the words.

"No, of course not," he denied. "But I let her kiss me. And I kissed her back." His voice was barely audible, his face a perfect portrait of guilt. "I thought you'd never speak to me again. I didn't care what I did, or what happened to me. Not until that final moment, when her blood was screaming out to me. I wanted it so badly I could taste it. But I couldn't betray you any further, even if you wanted nothing more to do with me." He let out a wry laugh. "A vampire with a conscience…I must be the biggest freak of nature who ever walked."

I was still trying to wrap my mind around the idea that Edward had finally given in to Lauren's come-ons. Had our intimacy meant nothing to him? Or had he been that convinced that there was no future for us?

"Bella, I'm so sorry, for all of it," Edward continued in a defeated tone. "I've done nothing but hurt you from the moment we met. That's why I have to leave, before this goes any further; before I ruin your life any more."

I shook my head vehemently, the panic rising up in my chest again. "No. You can't leave. If you run away, you'll only look more guilty."

"It doesn't matter either way. Don't you see that? I can't live in your world, Bella. And I sure as hell don't want to drag you into mine."

"What about the Cullens?" I asked desperately. "You have a home here with them--a chance to be part of a family. They don't want to lose you."

The ghost of a smile passed over Edward's lips. "They'll be fine, I'm sure. They've got a good thing going here in Forks, at least for a few more years. Maybe in time I can meet up with them again. I've got loads of it, you know…time. It will probably pass in the blink of an eye."

I fought back tears as I looked into his resolute face. I couldn't find any more excuses. Pride and self-righteousness would be no comfort to me in a world without Edward. I swallowed them both and let my heart speak for me.

"_I _don't want to lose you," I whispered, my eyes beseeching his. "Don't leave me."

I finally saw the reaction I'd been hoping for. Edward's expression was tortured. "Please don't make this any harder, Bella. I'm no good for you."

"I don't care. I want to be with you."

He shook his head. "How can you say that, now that you know the truth about me? I was fooling myself, thinking that it wouldn't matter. Of course it matters. There's nowhere for this to go. Nowhere good, anyway," he added, clearly resigned.

I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and managed to croak, "Where will you go?"

"I don't know," he sighed, his gaze wandering to the east. "I'm thinking about going to my hometown, just to see what I can find. Maybe visit my old house, if it hasn't been cleaned out already. See if I can discover a little more about who I was…who my family was." He shrugged casually, but his countenance was troubled. I knew that wanting to find out more about his human past was a turning point for him.

"Take me with you," I blurted impulsively. His head jerked back toward mine in surprise. "You shouldn't have to go through this alone," I went on. "Let me be there for you."

Edward seemed baffled. "Why do you want to help me, after everything I've done? I was sure you'd hate me."

"I could never hate you," I said softly. "You made a mistake. A really, really big one," I added with a small laugh. I paused and looked deeply into his disbelieving eyes. "I forgive you."

Edward's eyes glistened, tinged with red, as he reached a tentative hand out to cradle the side of my face. His touch thrilled me to the marrow, as always. He drifted closer to me, and I reached out to grab the collar of his jacket, looking hopefully up into his haunted face. He sighed and leaned down to kiss me, his lips tenderly grazing mine before he buried his face in my hair and pulled me into his arms.

"I don't deserve you," he murmured the words he'd spoken several times before. "But I can't fight you, either. I don't want to."

"Good," I answered, wrapping my arms tightly around the thick blue coat I'd helped him pick out mere weeks ago. It seemed like much more time had passed. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I won't let you." As if I could do anything to stop him.

He laughed and said as much. Then he grew serious. "There is one thing that worries me. I didn't kill Lauren, but that begs the question, who did? It obviously wasn't one of the Cullens. That means there's another vampire prowling around here. Someone Alice hasn't seen."

"She has seen him, sort of," I informed him. "She saw what happened last night, but she couldn't make out his face. She was sure it wasn't you, though. She believes in you completely."

Edward gave a wan smile, but it quickly disappeared. "I think you should stay with her this weekend, Bella. The Cullens can protect you from whatever is out there. I have a sneaking suspicion that this vampire might be the one who made me, and I don't know why it spared me and killed the others. Whoever he is, he hasn't gotten close enough for me to read his thoughts, or even sense that he's near. And yet he managed to rush in and kill Lauren in the minute or two it should have taken her to get into the house after I left. If only I'd stayed and made sure she got inside okay…."

"Edward, do you think he was trying to frame you? Make you look guilty?" I asked incredulously. Why would some unknown vampire have it in for Edward?

"I have no idea. I don't know why he would, but it's starting to look that way. If he's trying to get to me, Bella, that's just one more reason for you to stay as far away from me as possible. Maybe if I leave Forks, he'll leave too."

"None of this makes any sense," I said. "Why would he wait until now to make his presence known? Maybe this has nothing to do with you. I mean, it's been almost two months since you were turned, and there were no other fatalities until last week. It could just be some random vampire that wandered into this area, don't you think?"

"I hope that's all it is," Edward said grimly. "Either way, I'll feel safer if you spend this weekend with the Cullens. Will you do that for me?"

"No. No way. I'm coming with you. You can protect me just as well as they can," I insisted, pouting like a small child. I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me behind. I was terrified that if I let him out of my sight, I would lose him forever.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Bella," he disagreed. "You can't leave school right now. What would you tell Charlie?"

"I don't know," I said, thinking furiously. "I'll tell him I'm upset about Lauren's death and I'm staying with Alice for a few days, like you suggested. We can be on a plane tonight and get there tomorrow morning, right? I don't think you should be alone when you do this. You never know, your memory could come back---it could be traumatic. Or it could be wonderful." I looked up plaintively into his pensive eyes. "Either way, I want to share it with you."

He looked torn. "Maybe," he conceded at last. I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling like I might actually win this battle.

"Come back with me," I implored, grabbing his cold hands in mine. "Alice and Jasper are waiting back on the trail for us. I wasn't kidding when I said they sent me. Of course, I would have come on my own, but Alice was the one who saw where you were. We make a pretty good team, your family and I," I smiled.

A furtive grin stole across his face as he squeezed my hands in his. "I can't fight the lot of you," he sighed. "You ready to fly?" he asked, easily hoisting me up on his back. I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut, happy this time to feel the wind stinging my cheeks as Edward's legs pumped effortlessly beneath me, carrying me back to the trail. When we arrived, Jasper and Alice were grinning expectantly, and the latter threw her arms around Edward the moment he relinquished me from his grip.

"We know you're innocent," she declared as she squeezed him in the kind of crushing hug that I could only dream of giving him. "We're going to figure out what's going on, don't you worry." She let go of Edward and continued breathlessly, "I've already called the airlines and got you both tickets on the red-eye tonight out of Seattle. You'll have a layover in Denver, but it's really short. And you'll have to take a puddle-jumper from Des Moines to Burlington, but you should still be there before dawn, so even if it's sunny in Iowa, no worries."

Edward and I both laughed nervously at Alice's rush of words. I still couldn't get used to the fact that she could see things before they happened, even with proof like this staring me in the face.

"Emmett and I are going to canvas these woods for signs of whatever nomad vamp has been running amuck," Jasper assured us. "We can't afford to have him causing trouble for you, or for us." He gave Edward a reassuring slap on the back. Edward looked bashfully pleased that his new siblings were looking out for him.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "That means a lot to me. I don't want any more innocent people to die." His arm reached out to me, his hand touching my back. It seemed he did it unconsciously, and the protective gesture sent a surge of warmth through me.

"They won't on our watch," Jasper replied confidently.

"Let's get going to pack some of Bella's things," Alice said excitedly. "Then we'll head to the police station so we can explain to Charlie how much better you'll feel about everything that's happened if you can spend the weekend with a good friend." She hooked her arm through mine and gave it a squeeze, grinning at me conspiratorially.

I couldn't help but laugh a little, sensing as I looked in her eyes that the coming weekend with Edward would end up being a good one. Edward scooped me up and the four of us were off, seeming to ride the wind to the Volvo. No wonder my vampire friends all drove like race car drivers---next to their natural speed, man-made vehicles seemed hopelessly sluggish and clunky.

Our first stop was to the house, where Alice helped me pack a duffel bag with essentials for the weekend. I needled her about what she saw in store for my time with Edward, but she wouldn't confess anything she'd envisioned. Her self-satisfied grin and assurances of "you'll just have to wait and see" were exasperating, only heightening my anticipation.

We journeyed to the Forks Police Department next, where Charlie met me with haggard, sleep-deprived eyes and a bear hug. They'd spent the day combing the grounds around the Mallory house, cataloguing footprints and other clues to what had happened. Apparently there was no sign of struggle anywhere near the vehicle; only her lifeless body lying just inside the perimeter of the forest that backed the Mallory property.

"Have you seen Edward today?" Charlie asked me expectantly. "We could really use his help, since he was apparently the last one who was with Lauren."

My stomach quivered nervously. "Why, Dad? Obviously she got attacked by a wolf or something like I did, right?"

"Well, it appears that way. But why would she have wandered into the woods? That's what we want to know. There was no sign that she was dragged, so she must have gone out there willingly. Maybe your friend Edward can give us some clues." He looked a bit sheepish as he said it. He saw how upset I had been when I came home last night; he knew Edward and I had had a fight, though I obviously didn't elaborate. He probably thought Edward was a jerk who had gone out and hit on another girl as soon as I was out of the picture.

For the first time in my life, I told an outright lie to my father. "I haven't seen him."

"Hmmm." His voice was hard. "Seems he's been scarce since last night. No one seems to know his whereabouts." He was already talking about Edward as if he were a suspect.

"Listen, Dad…this whole Lauren thing has kind of shaken me up," I said truthfully, changing the subject. "Alice asked me to spend the weekend with her…maybe we can help keep each other's minds off of what happened. Is that okay?" I looked at Charlie with trepidation as I awaited his reply.

"Well…sure, I suppose," he finally agreed, looking a bit hurt that I hadn't turned to him for comfort. "I have the feeling I'll be working overtime this weekend anyway. It's probably for the best that you're surrounded with friends who can keep you company. This hits too close to home for you. For both of us," he sighed.

"I know. Thanks, Dad," I said gratefully, giving him a hug. "Don't worry, I'll check in often." I waved my cell phone for emphasis, feeling a little guilty at pulling the wool over Charlie's worried eyes. He nodded and assured me, "We're going to find the animal responsible for this and make sure it doesn't happen again, Bells."

"I know you will, Dad. I'm not worried," I lied. I was very worried. There was no escaping a vampire who wanted you dead. I was pretty sure that vampires with a conscience were few and far between. "Be careful, okay?" I warned him, suddenly afraid for him.

"Always am," he replied, patting his gun. It didn't make me feel any better. When I got back to the car, I begged Jasper to watch out for Charlie while I was gone. He promised to take turns with his siblings making sure that whoever this rogue vampire was, he would stay far away from my father's house.

We stopped at the Cullens' place next so that Edward could pack a few things, and then we began the long trek east to Seattle in the trusty Volvo. Exhausted from the past 24 hours and my fitful sleep the night before, I dozed off, slumped against Edward's shoulder. When I awoke, my stomach growled insistently, and I realized I hadn't eaten anything yet today.

Edward chuckled and said, "Pull up to the next fast food place you see, will you, Jasper? Bella needs something to eat."

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I protested.

"I can't. But I could hear that stomach rumbling from a mile away," he grinned.

We procured a few things from In-n-Out Burger on the outskirts of Seattle, and I inhaled them hungrily before we arrived at the airport. Edward studied me the entire time, a tiny grin on his face, clearly entertained by the sight of me devouring a whole bag of junk food in one sitting.

"What are you staring it?" I demanded crankily as I popped another French fry in my mouth.

He laughed and replied, "You're cute when you forget all your manners." He mocked my resulting sneer, then added wistfully, "I miss cheeseburgers."

It was nightfall by the time we reached the airport, and my sleepiness persisted. As soon as our first flight had taken off, I fell asleep against Edward again, the feel of his shoulder beneath my head more comforting than any pillow could be. He had to gently shake me awake when we landed in Denver, and in my groggy state, an unanswered question popped into my barely conscious mind.

"Edward, if you didn't kill Lauren, then how did you already know she was dead when I found you yesterday?" I asked him, perplexed.

He replied without missing a beat. "After I left her---very much alive---I went to the school. I spent the night there. When I left in the morning, I heard the janitors talking about what had happened. Bad news travels fast in a town the size of Forks."

"_Any_ news travels fast in Forks," I agreed with a yawn.

"I went to the woods by her house, to look for clues; but the cops were swarming the place, so I couldn't investigate it myself. I caught a strange vampire scent there, but it was so faint by that time that it wasn't much to go on. I went back to the cabin and tried to work out what I was going to do. That's when I decided it would be better if I just left Forks before things got any crazier."

"My father wants to question you," I sighed, grabbing his hand in mine.

"I'm sure he does," Edward answered apprehensively.

I wanted to tell him he should come back to Forks with me because he didn't have anything to hide, but I remained silent for the moment. After the flight attendant gave the okay, Edward grabbed our bags from the overhead bin and we descended the plane. It felt good to stretch my legs and walk around a bit. When I used the ladies' room, he waited patiently outside the door for me. I smiled at his over-protectiveness, and wondered if I should be worried at how much I enjoyed it.

When we settled in for our next flight, I asked Edward if he knew where his old house was. He replied that he had looked up information about himself and his family on the internet awhile ago, and we would take a cab to the last known address he had found. Whether or not the house would still have any of the Masens' belongings was another story. Edward suspected that family members may have already cleaned the place out and put it up for sale, depending on what his parents' wills had stipulated. I hoped for Edward's sake that we would find the house intact, so that he could get a glimpse into the human world he had been forced to forget and leave behind.

My exhaustion seemed to know no bounds, and I slept again on the plane ride. I wished that Edward could find the kind of peace that unconsciousness provided, instead of living perpetually with his troubled thoughts. When I awoke, I could see Edward's growing apprehension, revealed in his tense posture. The muscles of his forearms and hands were stretched taut under his skin as he sat with his hands clasped tightly together. I gave his rock-hard bicep a gentle squeeze and a half-grin caught the corner of his mouth in acknowledgment.

Our third and last flight was short, but I was unable to sleep through it. Our plane was so small that it held less than two dozen passengers, and we could see the pilot clearly from our seats near the front cabin. Edward's arm was planted firmly around me the entire flight, and he never seemed to tire of sitting still as a statue, moving only to occasionally rub my shoulder in reassurance.

"You realize that if this plane crashes, I'll jump free of it at the last minute with you in my arms, right? You're perfectly safe," he whispered as the aircraft bobbled precariously through a patch of turbulent air.

I nodded uneasily, knowing that he was probably right, but nervous all the same. I was actually relieved when my stomach began to drop, signaling our impending landing. Once again Edward gathered our things, and I wearily followed him out of the plane and into the dusky dawn. A glint of light shone over the horizon, but was muted by a thick bank of clouds overhead.

"You ready to go do a little investigating?" he asked, one eyebrow quirked, as we made our way through the small terminal in Edward's Iowa hometown.

"I'm ready if you are," I answered, reaching out to place my hand reassuringly in his. He linked his fingers through mine, his palm unusually cold and clammy. I held his hand as firmly as I could, hoping my warmth would somehow seep into him.

Edward found a public phone and phonebook and called the only cab service in the small town. Burlington was nearly ten times the size of Forks, but was still not a large city by any stretch of the imagination.

"How are you going to get into your house?" I asked him as we sat on a stone bench out front, waiting for our taxi to arrive.

He gave me a teasing laugh. "Do you really think there's any door or window that I can't break into?"

"No….it just seems wrong to break into your own house, though," I protested, then laughed a little at how absurd it sounded.

Edward grinned at me and then suddenly leaned over and kissed my temple. "I love you," he whispered. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Where else would I be?" I replied, feeling the heat of a blush burn through my cheeks.

The taxi arrived and took us several miles to the north side of town. Edward's family had lived in a new housing development off of Irish Ridge Road, not far from the Burlington Country Club. He explained that his father had been a CPA, and his mother a piano teacher. These were things he knew from scouring the internet, not because he remembered them. He still sounded detached when he talked about his parents, as if he were speaking politely about casual acquaintances.

Even in the pale light of the rising sun, the Masen house was impressive. I stared at it in awe as we exited the taxi, Edward handing the driver a wad of bills and pulling our bags out of the back seat. We approached the sprawling Tudor slowly, and I couldn't help but stare at Edward as he scrutinized his former home, clearly searching for a memory to come back to him. I could tell by his frustrated expression that the house had not struck any particular chord of recognition within him.

He walked up to the front door and gently tried to turn the knob, but it resisted. Unsurprisingly, the house was locked. Suddenly Edward turned and bent down into the nearby landscaping, pawing through a few loose stones under an evergreen shrub. He came up with a black rock in his hand, grinning in satisfaction. He turned the stone over, and sure enough, it was a key holder disguised as a common garden rock. He pulled the house key out and it fit easily into the keyhole.

My excited eyes met Edward's, and his smile was exultant. Instinct had taken over, and Edward had had his first memory. His face was suddenly more hopeful and expectant than I had ever seen it as we stepped into the foyer of the grand house.

Our eyes swept the dimly lit house in unison, taking in a formal dining room to the left, a large sunken family area with a loft ceiling to the right, and a staircase splitting them in two, presumably leading up to the bedrooms. The door to the kitchen was visible through the dining room, and seemed to connect to the living area behind the staircase. Some furniture and knickknacks remained, but large cardboard boxes were scattered everywhere in varying degrees of fullness. Someone was apparently in the middle of packing up the Masens' belongings and readying the house for sale.

I studied Edward's face, and found mostly frustration as his eyes searched the rooms. They finally fixed upon a large upright piano at the far end of the family room, and he began to walk toward it, drawn to it as if pulled by an invisible magnet. I followed him silently and watched as he pulled the bench out, sat down, and skimmed his fingers over the ivory keys. I stopped a few feet away and waited with bated breath as he stared at the instrument.

"My mother taught me to play here," he whispered at last. "She had a terrible time trying to get me to read music, because I played by ear, from the time I was a child." His eyes closed and his face was possessed for a moment, evidently reliving a memory. Then his fingers touched the keys gently, playing a melancholy chord. I listened, enraptured, as he began to pick out a haunting melody. The beauty of it brought tears to my eyes, as did the sight of him playing, his elegant hands drawing the most beautiful chords and melodies out of the instrument, his foot pumping the pedals and creating soft echoes that reverberated throughout the spacious room.

When Edward finished, I was afraid to speak and break the spell. He finally turned to me and gave me a sad smile. "I don't remember anything else," he said. "I just know this is where I spent a lot of my time. And my mother…she was my champion."

"That was beautiful," I said softly. "If she taught you to play like that, she was an amazing woman."

He smiled and rose reluctantly from the bench, once again silently caressing the keys with his long fingers before he walked toward me. "I think she must have been," he agreed with a small shrug of his shoulder. I could see that he was desperate for more than the hint of memory he'd just had.

"Let's look around a little," I suggested. "Maybe there are some photos here." I grabbed the nearest box and began rifling through the contents, and sure enough, there were a few photos in frames, wrapped in newspaper that I quickly discarded. I recognized a young Edward in many of them, as well as two smiling adults who were obviously his parents, judging by their features. Other Masen look-alikes were in the pictures, evidently taken at family reunions and holidays. Edward's eyes raked over each one with steely determination, and I could see his exasperation grow as the images failed to trigger any recognition.

He shook his head and his brows knitted angrily. "This was a waste of time. I never should have brought you here. I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Don't give up yet," I told him, running my hand up and down his arm to calm him. "We've barely begun. Let's go look at your room, okay?" I nodded toward the staircase and grabbed his elbow, steering him in that direction. Edward followed me up the steps, and we paused at the top to look around. The upper level appeared to have three bedrooms and a bathroom. A quick glance revealed a master bedroom to the left, and a guest bedroom to the right. Behind it was a second bedroom. Edward turned and headed for the door as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I followed, and stopped short in the doorway, observing him as he took in the room. I tried the light switch, and to my surprise, it worked. I would have thought the electricity had been shut off by now.

Startled, Edward glanced at me as the room was bathed in soft white overhead light, and then his attention was captured by his surroundings. Edward Masen's room was decorated in deep shades of blue and gray with dark wood accents, masculine in its simplicity. There were no sports or girly posters on the walls. Instead, there were paintings: a river scene; an abandoned barn; a fruit basket still life. Two were oil, one was watercolor. Drawn to the river painting, I walked slowly toward it, captured by its meticulous brush strokes and vibrant colors. In the lower right-hand corner was the signature, "E.A. Masen."

"Edward!" I exclaimed, quickly moving to the next piece of art to confirm its identical signature. "You did these paintings. You're an artist!" I actually wasn't surprised. Was there anything Edward couldn't do, and do well?

A smile stole across his face as he regarded them one by one. "These were for art class," he said, his face becoming animated. "I took a photo of the Mississippi and painted from that." He moved down to the watercolor. "This still life was actually our final. We had forty-five minutes to complete it." He let out a laugh and added, "That was the first and last time I ever mastered watercolor, because I didn't have time to over-think it. I always overanalyzed everything. I guess I still do."

"Edward, this is amazing," I marveled, thrilled that memories were coming back to him. "If you hadn't come here, you never would have remembered that you had artistic talent. Now you can pick up where you left off…sort of." I studied his rendering of the dilapidated barn in its bucolic setting, amazed at the detail. "These are beautiful."

"Thanks," he said a bit bashfully. His gaze fell on the tall chest of drawers, the top of which was adorned with trophies. I stood alongside him and read the inscriptions. They were all track and field awards, the largest of which proclaimed him third place in the Hundred Meter Dash at a statewide tournament.

"Well, that explains why you're so freakishly fast now," I commented. An artist _and_ a jock? Edward Masen, in human form, never would have given me the time of day. I didn't know why he did now, for that matter. It was no surprise to see what kind of human he'd been…the impossibly good-looking, athletic and talented kind.

I wandered across the room to the dresser, whose mirror sported numerous photos stuck around its beveled edge. Edward looked younger in these pictures, somehow; his cheeks flushed pink, his smile carefree. A bevy of cute girls and handsome boys surrounded him in every photo. A pretty blonde showed up frequently, and a framed Junior Prom photo of her and Edward, posing hand-in-hand, sat atop the dresser.

"Edward, you had a girlfriend," I said quietly. I felt a ridiculous stab of jealousy as I looked at her pert, perfect appearance. She reminded me of Lauren Mallory, but without the sour disposition. Edward looked dashing in his tuxedo, his unruly auburn hair groomed into submission for the occasion.

He suddenly appeared behind me in the mirror, dispelling the myth that vampires had no reflection. He leaned past me and picked up the prom photo, poring over it carefully, but without recognition. He frowned and set the frame back down, then peered over my shoulder at the photos around the mirror. Suddenly a huge grin broke over his face and he grabbed a picture out of the collage for a closer look.

"Oh, wow. This is my best friend. Best friend since second grade when he moved here from Indiana. Tim," he smiled, showing me the grinning likenesses of himself and a blue-eyed brunet in a mutual headlock. "Tim Belden. We used to hang out all the time, playing videos, teaching ourselves the guitar." His eyes danced for a moment, then grew sad. He said nothing for a long minute, then put the photo back in its former place.

"Don't you want to keep that?" I asked him. "As a remembrance?"

Edward's shoulders slumped. "What's the use?" he said. "I'm dead to him. The friend he knew is dead."

"You're not dead," I protested shakily. The truth was, I didn't know what to call Edward. He was blessedly alive as far as I was concerned, but I knew what he was trying to say. He would have to stay "dead" to someone he once cared deeply about, and the pain of it was evident in Edward's eyes. "You're immortal," I corrected him, knowing it was cold comfort when every human he loved was not. "You're just…altered. Not good or bad. Just different."

Edward turned to look at me, his head shaking in denial. "Why do you make excuses for what I've become? For what I've done?"

"I'm not making excuses. I know exactly who you are." I met his defeated look with an emphatic one.

Edward's lip raised in a bitter laugh. "And who is that?"

I took his chin in my hand, willing him to look into my eyes. "The boy I fell in love with."

As I looked up into his beautiful face, I realized I had never said the words out loud. I had never told him how I really felt. And it had never felt more important than right now to be completely honest. "I love you, Edward. And when I say that, I mean I love _you_, standing here right now, exactly as you are. I'm in love with Edward Cullen. And that won't change no matter how much you remember or don't remember about the guy who lived in this room. I don't know him. But I know you. And I love you."

His face seemed filled with so many emotions that I couldn't begin to name them; but I could feel them pulsing through me as his eyes searched mine. He stroked my hair and pulled me close, his lips parting as if to speak. Then he stopped short and his gaze shifted to the doorway.

"Someone's coming," he whispered. He was at the door in a flash, flicking off the ceiling light. "Come on," he urged, making a beeline for the steps. I followed him quickly down the staircase and marveled at the blur he made as he grabbed our bags from where we'd left them by the front door. He dashed into the kitchen with me close on his heels, then pulled me down next to him on the floor behind a large granite-topped island. Sure enough, seconds later, a key turned in the front door and the sounds of footsteps in the foyer followed. Edward grabbed my hand tightly and whispered, "Be read to run out the back door." He nodded toward the back of the room, where sliding glass doors led out to what looked like a large deck in the gray morning light.

"Check upstairs for me, will you, Max?" a woman's voice wafted through the house. "I could have sworn I saw a light on up there when we pulled up. Probably just my mind playing tricks on me," she ended with a mutter. The sound of boxes being moved, and packing papers being rustled, met our ears. Max's quick footsteps pounded up the stairs and returned momentarily.

"Nobody's up there, Mom," a young man's baritone said. "No lights on or anything. We need to get going on the upstairs today. Edward's room hasn't even been touched yet." The boy's voice was melancholy.

"I know, honey," the woman sighed. "It was hard enough losing my sister and her husband so young…but Edward…." her voice trailed off in a sigh. "What a waste. So much potential."

"Jazz band's not the same without him," Max said. "Nobody can improvise like he could. You should hear the girl we have on piano now---she sucks."

"I'm sure she's doing the best she can," Max's mother reprimanded gently. "Prodigies like Edward don't come along every day." The conversation paused while the sound of knickknacks being packed continued. "It's such a shame he never got to perform in that Seattle competition," the woman finally went on. "That would have been such a great opportunity for him to compete with musicians from all over the world. I still can't believe the paper didn't even mention it when they reported the accident."

"Yeah, well, you know Edward," Max opined. "He never talked about his music or art much. He just didn't want to hear about it from the guys, you know? They liked to give him shit about it. He didn't even tell anyone he was going to that piano competition---he just said the family was going on vacation."

"Watch your language," the woman chastised. "What's wrong with kids these days, anyway? Edward should have been nothing but proud of his talent. It's ridiculous that it was okay for him to be a track star but not a music star," she grumbled.

"That's 'band geek' to the rest of the world, Mom," Max said with a laugh. "I'm fine with it, but not everybody is. Edward's friends were jocks. They can be real assholes…er, sorry," the boy finished guiltily. "But it's true. I think Edward started learning guitar just because it looked cooler to everybody."

"Well, I guess it's all moot now," the woman said quietly. "The world lost a very bright light when God took him home." She sighed heavily. "Beth thought the sun rose and set in that boy. Ed did, too, for that matter. If we had to lose them, at least it's a blessing that they're all together, under God's care."

I looked at Edward in the shadows where we hid; his face was tormented. I reached out to touch his cheek, but he jerked away from my fingers. Without looking at me, he rose silently, peering over the kitchen island to make sure the coast was clear. He quietly headed for the door and stealthily undid the latch. With a quick slide of the glass, he was outside, with me right behind him. As soon as we were on the deck, he softly closed the door behind us and leapt effortlessly off the deck to the gently sloping lawn below. I had to tiptoe to the stairs and quietly sneak down them; by then, Edward had stuffed our bags under the deck and was halfway across the lawn, headed for the distant woods. I ran clumsily after him, calling out his name as softly as I could so that no one would hear.

"Edward, wait, damn it!" I finally yelled angrily. He halted, but didn't turn to face me.

"I'm sorry," I said breathlessly when I caught up to him. He refused to look at me. "Were those people family?" I asked tentatively. "Did you remember them?"

He stared off into the distance, unseeing. "That was my mother's sister and her son," he eventually replied. "Lydia and Max Hart. We used to spend a lot of time at their house when I was a kid." His voice was raspy, like the rusty edge of a dull blade; and his eyes were just as lackluster. Then suddenly he laughed, a slightly unhinged sound that made my skin prickle uncomfortably. "Well, we both know the truth now, don't we, Bella?"

"What truth?" I asked uneasily.

"That Edward Masen was a class-A jackass. A coward who was afraid to stand up for what was important to him." He laughed some more, a mirthless, almost delirious sound. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you should be glad that I'm not him anymore. If I were, I probably would have taken someone like Lauren Mallory to Winter Formal and never even realized what a shallow, vain little twit she was. Or maybe I just wouldn't have cared, as long as I was going to get laid at the end of the evening."

"Edward, stop it," I commanded, though it sounded more like a plea.

He let out a sudden loud guffaw. "I was Mike Newton!" he exclaimed, clawing his hands through his hair as he bent over with laughter. "I was fucking Mike Newton. No, wait, at least he had the good sense to want to date you. I was Tyler Crowley, dumbshit jock. Isn't that great? Fan-fucking-tastic," he gasped, his laughter finally subsiding. He gave me a grin brimming with bitterness. "The truth will set you free, isn't that what they say? Well, there you have it. Somewhere inside me, an idiot still lurks, I'm sure." His lip curled in self-loathing. "Look at all the mistakes I made with you."

"You're not an idiot. I'm sure you never were. What you were was _human_," I reminded him tersely. "You gave into a little bit of peer pressure, like tons of other teenagers. So what? Didn't you hear all the good things your family said about you just now? Didn't you see those beautiful paintings? Or hear the incredible music you make every time you sit down at a keyboard? You were a pretty amazing human. And you're even more amazing now." I stood closer to him, pushing my face toward his. "You realize that when you put yourself down like this, you insult my taste and my intelligence."

Edward blinked at me in surprise, slack-jawed for a moment. Then his signature crooked grin greeted me and he said, "I would never dream of insulting you."

"Good," I replied. "I'm glad I made myself clear." I tried to keep my stern glare intact, but it was no match for the crinkles of amusement etched around Edward's eyes. "Come on, don't be so hard on yourself," I implored. "This has to be so difficult for you, trying to remember your past, and only having random bits and pieces come back to you. I mean, that's what's happening, isn't it?"

He nodded slowly, then took my hands in his. "My head feels like a Swiss cheese right now. Mostly holes, at this point. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm glad you're here," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Me too," I agreed, squeezing his cold white hands in assurance.

Edward sighed and looked back toward the house. "They'll probably be there all day packing up our old things. You want to check out the town? Maybe I'll remember some of my old stomping grounds as I go. The river is that way. I think," he grinned, nodding toward the east.

"Sounds good," I agreed. I was glad that a thick blanket of clouds was pulled tight over the sky, allowing Edward to walk freely beneath it. He said he thought it was several miles to the downtown, so I hopped on his back and allowed him to fly along the outskirts of town while I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from getting dizzy.

I had never seen the Mississippi River, and was amazed at how big it was, with islands scattered throughout its length north of the city. We spent some time at the marina, watching seagulls scavenge the muddy water that lapped up around the dock. Few boats were out on the water on this cool, gray November day; but we observed the slow progress of a barge as it made its way downstream. When I began to get chilly, we walked to a nearby restaurant and bar called Big Muddy's, where Edward was again unduly entertained by the sight of me ingesting a large spinach salad with garlic breadsticks. Edward was clearly unfazed by the garlic. When I commented that another vampire myth had just been squelched, he replied with a grin that as long as I didn't breathe on him, he should be fine.

We spent part of the afternoon in the newly built public library, while Edward looked up information about the Seattle International Piano Festival and Competition. Sure enough, it had begun on October 9th. There were three student categories, plus amateur, collegiate and professional competitions as well. Edward didn't remember anything about his trip to Washington state, even after reading through the details for entering the piano contest. He could only surmise that his family had decided to take in some of the scenery with a side trip to Olympia National Park, where they had met their cruel and untimely end. A vampire must have found and carried Edward far from the scene of the car accident, because he awoke dozens of miles from the crash site, deep in the forest. There were no further clues to tell us how or why he was turned and then abandoned.

Frustrated, he suggested we do some more sight-seeing. Some brochures near the library entrance sparked another memory for Edward, of a park where he played as a child. It was situated overlooking the river, a couple of miles south of the downtown. We set out on foot and walked the distance at a human gait, Edward teasing me about my relative snail's pace. I countered that I needed the exercise, and that I couldn't let him carry me everywhere like a sack of potatoes across his back.

After a lengthy trek through a residential area, we were forced to cross a rather precarious-looking steel bridge that stood at least thirty feet above the gulley below. I tried to ignore the sight of the earth so far below me through the metal grate beneath my feet. Edward sensed my nervousness and placed his arm protectively on the small of my back as we walked. He informed me in another sudden recollection that there were trails throughout the area, snaking through two side-by-side parks, part of which we were now passing over.

Further up the hill was a municipal band shell on a bluff overlooking the river, where Edward remembered having performed with the high school band. He was excited to come upon a display of two disarmed World War II canons, covered over many times in layers of slate-gray paint so that none of their moving parts were operational. That didn't stop children from climbing all over them and pretending to shoot canon balls across the mighty Mississippi into Illinois, Edward explained with a laugh.

Crapo Park itself was an arboretum of dozens of species of trees, with meticulously landscaped flowerbeds scattered throughout its gently sloping grounds. A small manmade lake hosted a large flock of geese, most resting on a treed island at the lake's center; but many boldly approached walkers and joggers in hopes of being tossed a few bread crumbs. They honked indignantly at me when I showed them my empty hands; but they flapped quickly away from Edward, no doubt sensing the imminent danger.

We wandered through the playground, pausing so that Edward could push me on the swings for awhile. I could see that on a warm, sunny spring day, this park would be a beautiful place to relax and have a picnic. But today's gloomy cold kept most humans away. Edward offered to call a cab when the wind picked up, worried that I would get a chill. It was late in the day, and he hoped that his family had finished their packing and left the Masen home.

Our timing turned out to be impeccable. Our taxi passed the Harts' SUV on the street as we entered the subdivision, Edward quickly ducking so that he would not be spotted. When we entered the house, it was much emptier than we had arrived. Lydia and Max had removed numerous boxes of belongings from the downstairs, leaving a sparse few pieces of furniture that would presumably be auctioned off. Edward looked a little melancholy as his eyes took in the nearly empty rooms. After he went out back to retrieve our duffel bags from under the deck, I ran upstairs to check his bedroom. I was relieved to see that not everything had been removed. Half-full boxes of trinkets still remained, including his track trophies. His photos were removed from the mirror and stacked neatly on the dresser, along with a small photo album. I flipped through its pages, and a small pang of regret hit me as I saw the progression of Edward Masen's life: from adorable tow-headed toddler to gawky adolescent to handsome young man. And at this last phase of life he would stay forever, frozen in time, as a teenager. There would be no photos of handsome adult Edward; loving father Edward; distinguished, gray-templed grandpa Edward.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I jumped when his voice sounded in my ear. "So they haven't carted away all the mementoes yet, I see," he commented, looking over my shoulder at a picture of himself and his father on a fishing boat, Edward proudly holding up a hideously ugly catfish in his hands. "I guess my dad used to take me fishing, huh?" he mused. He let out a caustic breath. "You'd think I'd remember that. Or the vapid-looking blonde I probably used to bone. Or at least the piano contest that was so important that I sacrificed my entire family to go compete in it."

"You can't force any of this," I reminded him. "You've had so many breakthroughs today. Please don't beat yourself up over what you can't remember. Try to appreciate all the things you _do_ remember."

"I do," he sighed dejectedly. "Honestly, I do, Bella. But in some ways, the few memories that have come back only make me more frustrated about all the ones that haven't. It's like they're behind some locked door in my mind, and if I could only find the right key, they'd all be _right_ _here_." He touched his fingertips to his temples in emphasis. I rubbed his arm sympathetically, and he sighed in resignation. "Maybe it's just as well. It hurts less this way. And it lets me concentrate on what's important." He gave me a half-smile and ran his hand gently down my cheek, his thumb grazing my lips. "I don't know why you're wasting your time with me. But I'm glad you are."

"It's not a waste, and I don't ever want to hear you say that again. I'm with you because I love you," I reminded him, touching his face in return.

"Part of me wishes you didn't," he replied. "But the selfish part keeps winning."

"It's so funny you say that, because your selfish part and my selfish part seem to want the same things," I smiled. I continued to smooth my fingers over the sharp angle of his jaw, and suddenly it began to shimmer under my touch. The setting sun had finally broken through its prison of clouds, sending shards of golden light through the slats of the window shades. Edward's already-poetic face now seemed positively ethereal in the sun's glow. A god among men, he was benevolently and foolishly offering himself up to the mere mortal before him. And this mortal wanted nothing more than to please him, to adore him the way he deserved to be adored.

"Will you do something for me?" I whispered, leaning toward him and entreating him with my eyes.

"Anything," he replied.

"Just…sit down. Don't move," I ordered softly, pushing him in the direction of the bed. He sat down and looked at me quizzically. I quickly worked at the zipper on his coat, and he helped me remove it. I threw my own jacket on the floor next to his. I sat down on the bed beside him, leaning in and softly saying, "Let me show you how much I love you. The way you did for me the other night." My lips grazed the cold, white skin of his earlobe as I spoke, my breath stirring the soft bronze tendrils of hair behind it.

A heavy breath escaped his lips as I kissed one side of his prominent jawbone while running my fingers lightly along the other. I let my lips travel down the side of his neck, then to the front, where I licked the swell of his Adam's apple gently. His breathing was heavy as I began unbuttoning his soft flannel shirt, my mouth following my hands down his marble chest and taut stomach. After the last button fell open, I pushed the shirt over his shoulders and down his arms until it fell on the bed behind him. I marveled a moment at his skin's sheen in the golden late-day sun that slanted through the window shades. Edward shook his arms free of the shirt and reached for my face, but I pulled back and shook my head.

"No, you don't get to touch me yet," I told him. He quirked one eyebrow in surprise. "It's my turn right now." I remembered the way he had stroked every inch of my body with his long, nimble fingers until my nerves were raw with desire, and I wanted to make him feel the same way. I scooted behind him on the bed and began to massage the tight muscles of his back, loosening them under my fingers as I worked my way slowly from his shoulder blades to his waist. My lips followed my fingers with sloppy wet kisses, delighting in the unusually sweet taste of his skin, my tongue tickling the somehow sexy moles and freckles that peppered his porcelain flesh.

"You'd better stop before I get used to this," he joked, ending with something between a sigh and a moan. I ran my fingers slowly up the backs of his hands, through the soft brown hair of his forearms, and over the hard round muscles of his biceps and shoulders. He let out a soft noise of pleasure, and I got up from the bed and stood in front of him. I looked down into eyes that shone darkly, hungrily into mine. I averted my gaze back to his beautiful torso as I worked my hands slowly over the light curls of hair on his chest, down the rippling muscles of his stomach, and through the thickening trail of fur that disappeared into the waistband of his button-fly jeans. I dropped to my knees between his legs, pushing them open. His breathing was quick and heavy, his eyes intense as he watched me. I undid the top button of his jeans, punctuating it with a kiss squarely on his belly button, my tongue probing the tiny hole suggestively. He moaned again and his hips moved involuntarily beneath my hands as I languidly undid each button, again moving my lips down his belly in tandem.

His breath caught as I brushed my fingers over the bulge in his jeans, then rubbed my hands firmly up and down his blue-jean-covered thighs. He leaned back slightly on his hands, his pelvis rocking gently upward. I took his cue and grasped the denim waistband in both hands, feeling grateful that it was impossible to hurt him as I roughly yanked the material down his hips. He raised his body off the bed so that I could finish the job, pulling the jeans down his legs and to the floor. His black boxer briefs came with them, and after a couple of swift pulls, they lay on the floor at his feet. I made quick work of his shoes and socks, and he helped me kick them aside.

My eyes drank in his glorious naked form, lean and graceful, pale and sparkling, as if hewn by Michelangelo's hand. I looked up into his dark blue eyes, staring down at me heavily through thick lashes, and told him, "You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen."

He shook his head slightly as if he couldn't believe it, couldn't accept such words. Before he could reply, my unquenchable fingers stroked the soft hair on his shins, squeezed the firm muscles of his calves, and journeyed up the thick, sinewy muscles of his thighs to their final destination. I paused as I drank in the sight of Edward's perfect, pink erection; thick, long and pulsing slightly as it pointed straight at me. I remembered how amazing it had felt in my hand…how close it had been to plunging deep inside me, where it belonged. Edward's breathing was ragged as I gently stroked the flesh all around his groin, massaging everywhere but directly where it would please him most. I wound my fingers in the tight curls of hair above his twitching cock, and he began to make frustrated, whimpering noises. "God, Bella, what are you trying to do to me?" he whispered hoarsely, pleading, as I let my hands roam everywhere but on his now fully rigid member. I remembered when he had said those words to me in the pool those weeks ago. It made me feel exactly as sexy and powerful now as it had made me feel that night.

"Make you crazy," I admitted with a wicked grin as I looked up into his desperate eyes. Before he could growl in protest, I took my tongue and pressed it at the base of his cock, licked it firmly up the stiff shaft, wrapped my lips around the tip, and took the length of him as deep in my mouth as I could.

A sharp cry of pleasure exploded from Edward's throat, and I might have laughed if my mouth weren't otherwise engaged. I thought of nothing but making him feel the ecstasy he'd given me when he'd gone down on me so thoroughly less than 48 hours ago. I licked his dick up and down as if it were the last lollipop in the candy store, only frankly, it was better than that. The smell of his sex mixed with the smell of his skin was an aphrodisiac like no other, and he tasted even better than he smelled, which was simply too good to be true. The sounds of pleasure erupting from him only spurred me on as I pumped his cock with my hands and mouth in turn, swirling the thick, tender head in between my lips and tongue, and massaging his balls in between, until he begged me to stop.

"Bella, wait, please," he gasped, grabbing my hair and pulling my head away. I looked up with confusion into his glassy eyes. "If you're going to continue with this, will you do something else for me?"

"Of course," I answered immediately, without thinking.

He looked at me hard. "Take off your clothes," he ordered in his butterscotch voice.

His words shot an arrow of lust straight to my already-wet groin. I rose to my feet, my eyes locked with his. His penetrating look had already stripped me bare before my trembling fingers could undo the buttons and zippers that stood between my naked flesh and his. His clear desire for me made me brave, made me wanton. As my bra fell to the floor, I stroked my breasts with my fingertips until my nipples stood erect for him. I slid my hands suggestively down my body and into my panties, massaging myself, and then sliding down the front between my legs.

Edward's lips parted, his breathing short and fast, while he watched me with eagle eyes. As I pushed my panties to the floor and stepped out of them, Edward began stroking himself. I watched, fascinated, as he pumped his cock slowly, then faster with his hand, his eyes never leaving my body and what I was doing to myself. Without even realizing it at first, I had slid my fingers into my wet opening as I watched him. I rubbed my clit in time with his strokes as he masturbated in front of me, then began plunging my fingers deeper inside my pussy, imagining his thick cock filling me instead.

A loud groan of frustrated desire ripped from Edward's throat, and he suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand from between my thighs. He immediately took my fingers in his mouth and licked the fluid off, moaning as if it were the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted. Before I could even comprehend his swift movements, he had pulled me down on the bed, ripped back the covers and pushed me back onto the pillows. His mouth covered mine in a ravenous kiss as he pressed his body on top of me, moving in a thrusting rhythm that my body matched instantly.

He said my name over and over, an angel's chorus, as his lips and hands caressed me, moving so fast over my skin that I felt only icy-cold yet fiery-hot tingles from head to toe. His tongue tickled and teased my nipples mercilessly as he began rapidly rubbing my clit, making the pressure build inside me. By the time he plunged his finger inside, I was thrusting my hips toward him eagerly, begging for the intrusion. He slid a second finger into me and I moaned like an animal in heat, my hips pumping against him, pulling him in deeper.

"Edward…please," I begged him, my voice sounding shallow and desperate. He lowered himself down so that his shoulders were between my thighs, pushing them apart. He began tickling my clit with his tongue and I nearly screamed, the pleasure was so intense. His tongue and lips worked their wet magic on every surface between my thighs as he continued to fuck me with his fingers. I could feel the pressure building inside me as he worked, his fingers plumbing my g-spot over and over until the fire in my belly began to spread.

"Edward!" The sound that exploded from my mouth was his name as I came, the muscles contracting so hard and fast around Edward's fingers that my hips bucked uncontrollably in response. My hands grasped his thick bronze hair for dear life as I rode the wave of my orgasm, panting and moaning madly, until it finally ebbed. I had never felt such an unbridled, unselfconscious moment of release in my life. Ecstasy… Edward.

I felt empty and cold when he removed his fingers from inside me, licking them clean once again. "You are incredible," he said softly, stealing the words I wanted to say to him. He kissed my stomach tenderly, small, baby kisses; then worked his way up to my breasts, where he tasted each one as if he'd never had them in his mouth before. My belly still ached with the feel of him, and his straining erection branded my thigh as he pressed his body against mine.

"No one has ever made me feel like you do," I whispered, wondering how it was that all the most clichéd phrases I'd ever heard suddenly seemed appropriate and heart-felt in this moment. I ran my fingers through his thick hair and stared into his glorious face, glinting in the amber sunlight, his eyes focused only on me. He stroked my face and my hair and kissed me tenderly, his tongue probing gently, then hungrily, as our kiss became deeper, consuming. I wrapped my limbs around him and pulled him closer, his skin deliciously cold against my sweating body. We began moving together in a slow, sensuous rhythm, and I rubbed my thigh against his erection, making him moan into my mouth as he kissed me.

"Bella, I want you," he said softly, a desperate tinge to his lilting voice.

"I'm yours. Take me," I told him, tilting my hips upward, loving the feel of his hard shaft pressing against the soft folds between my legs. He moved sensuously against me, his swollen head rubbing up and down my clit, then pressing against my opening, feeling impossibly huge as I contemplated taking him in. I knew it was going to hurt when he finally pushed his thick length into me, but I was ready. I wanted it. I wanted him, like I'd never wanted anyone in my life. I needed to feel him inside me; I needed to make him a part of me. This last, physical connection was the only thing left unfulfilled between us, and I wanted to remedy the deficiency now.

"Are you ready?" he whispered hoarsely, pushing his cock harder against me. His face was torn between passion and anxiety. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," I assured him. "You couldn't. It's not possible." I grabbed his shoulders and pushed my groin upward, ready for him. He gave me a gentle kiss, locked his eyes on mine, and with one smooth, slow thrust, he pushed his cock so deep inside me that it knocked the wind out of me.

A cry of pain burst from my mouth before I could stop it. It felt like I had just been impaled. Nothing could have prepared me for just how…_full_ I'd feel with his cock stretching me painfully in every direction. Once the sharp stab of his initial thrust had subsided, I was left feeling merely uncomfortable instead. My face must have given away my discomfort, because Edward immediately began apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, gently kissing me on the cheek. "I thought maybe it would be better if I just did it all at once…sort of like ripping off a bandage," he said sheepishly.

I managed to laugh a little and stroked his face with my hands. "I'm fine, Edward," I said, trying to sound convincing. "I just need to get used to it, that's all. Don't stop what you're doing. I want you to feel as good as you just made me feel a few minutes ago."

"But if I'm hurting you…" he trailed off uncertainly, his eyes faltering.

"Stop it," I insisted, reaching up and giving him a long, searching kiss. "I want to feel you come inside me. Don't disappoint me."

He gave me a half-grin and kissed me back. Instinct took over and he began to move slowly inside me. I tried to relax and get in rhythm with him, and gradually, behind the discomfort, I began to feel something primitive stir deep inside as his cock slid gently in and out of me.

"You feel incredible," he murmured. "I never dreamed…" his voice trailed off as he buried his face in my neck. I stiffened briefly as a flash of memory stabbed through me, then forced myself to relax again, realizing that when I did, the pleasure of Edward's thrusts began to outweigh the pain. The phrase "hurts so good" popped into my head as he began to pump in and out of me a little faster, a little harder. His thrusts became longer, deeper, quicker; and the pressure of his pelvis grinding into mine sent a slow burn through my belly that made a sultry moan rumble in my chest.

Edward responded instantly, groaning loudly and peppering my neck and chest with kisses as he rammed me with his cock. I looked up at him in wonder, marveling that this beautiful creature was losing himself in me, his face rapt with passion, eyes closed, brows furrowed.

"Bella, I can't hold back much longer," he gasped. I felt him swell impossibly bigger inside me, and I moaned along with him at the exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure that it caused me. I ran my hands down his back and squeezed the firm cheeks of his ass as he moved rapidly inside me. Suddenly his muscles clenched under my hands and he cried out in release. I felt the viscous liquid shoot deep inside me as his cock unloaded, and he buried his face in the pillow next to my head, emitting guttural noises that were muffled in the thick down. His hands dug into the bed on either side of me, and I was shocked to see his fingers rip right through the mattress cover and into the coils below. His whole body shook, and his cock twitched inside me, the muscles and nerves spasming with the force of his climax.

I stroked his back gently as his body began to still; his breathing slowed, and he panted heavily, his breath stirring my hair. Several swirls of white caught the corner of my eye, and I looked to see that Edward had bitten right through the pillow my head was resting upon, sending a puff of tiny down feathers into his hair and mine. I couldn't help but giggle a little as I reached up and pulled the white fluff from Edward's damp locks.

Confused, he looked to see what I was laughing at, and then the crooked grin I loved so much spread across his lips. "Better that than you," he whispered, and his face became serious again. He kissed me gently, reverently; I couldn't close my eyes, and watched in a kind of trance as his long brown eyelashes blurred when he came closer. The nerves in his cock continued to twitch, and I could feel each tremor deep inside. The sensation was exquisite, and I didn't want it to end. I didn't want him to pull out, or even move. He didn't seem anxious to, either, and we lay wrapped in a cocoon of twisted sheets and damp skin, our limbs entwined, bodies joined together in the most intimate way possible. I caressed his face, tracing the lines of his sculpted cheekbones, his rugged jaw, his soft pink lips; and I knew that there would never be anyone else for me but him.

"I love you," I whispered, the words seeming far too small for such a moment.

His hands combed through my hair, massaging my scalp, over and over as he rubbed his nose on mine and planted tender kisses on my swollen lips. "You are my life, Bella," he replied. His eyes captured mine and held them hostage for a long moment. "This….this moment with you…it's all I'm living for."

Tears came to my eyes and slid down my temples before I could stop them. Edward looked alarmed. "Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

"Of course," I assured him quickly. "I'm fine. I am so much better than fine. There are no words for how I'm feeling right now," I faltered, stroking his hair the way he had mine. "Words are nothing," I whispered, unable to make my vocal chords work properly. "You…you are everything."

Our eyes continued the rest of the conversation; our lips and hands and bodies were the punctuation. Finally Edward simply held me in his arms, pulling the covers between us to ward off the chill of his skin against mine. My eyes grew heavy as the sun set outside, the room gradually darkening into gray shadows. Enveloped in the heavy, sweet scent of Edward in my arms, I must have drifted into slumber. I was sure I was asleep, because I was suddenly in the woods again; the mossy, damp woods of Washington. I was lost, just as I had been the afternoon before; and I futilely called Edward's name as I stumbled through the encroaching foliage.

Night was falling, and still I walked on. A deep, menacing growl pierced the silence ahead, and I cowered in fear, waiting to see another bear before me. But as my eyes adjusted to the shadows, I saw a much smaller creature than a bear hunched over in the distance. The gutteral rumble continued, and I quaked with fear as I peered at the creature's face. I recognized the features instantly---they were Edward's. But his eyes were those of a stranger, glowing red hot as if the devil had possessed him.

"Edward…?" I called, bewildered. He looked like the boy I loved, but his face was twisted in a cruel mask I didn't recognize. His grin was pure malevolence as he looked up at me from his crouching position. I finally averted my gaze down to see what he was clutching protectively; and there, hanging limply from his arms, was the bloodless body of Lauren Mallory. Her dead eyes were fixed upon me, but their gaze was sightless. Edward cackled like some kind of horror movie demon above her, and when I managed to look back up at his beautiful face, it was marred with streaks of red blood running from his mouth.

"Edward, what have you done?" I shrieked.

His eyebrow raised and sliced through his forehead like a dagger. "What makes you think I'm Edward?" he smirked.

I jerked awake, heart pounding, eyes snapping open in fright. "Edward?" I gasped, feeling for his body in the dark. My hands met nothing but cold, empty sheets.

Edward was gone.


	12. Oasis

_**Edward**_

I was beginning to rethink my notions of heaven and hell.

By definition, vampires must surely be damned. A cannibal feeding on others like itself must certainly be soulless; condemned to a living hell, or a perpetual purgatory at the very least.

But as I gazed at Bella Swan's peacefully sleeping face next to mine on the pillow, I knew that this must be a heaven of the most glorious kind. How could I be cursed and feel something so profoundly blissful as this? Of everything that had happened the past 24 hours, Bella's forgiveness was the most important, and unexpected, gift I could have received. I wondered if she would ever fully understand what that meant to me, or how she saved me. Because without that gift, I have no doubt that my eternal damnation would have been assured.

I stroked her hair gently and she stirred, snuggling into the soft blanket I'd wrapped between us. I could still feel the length of her body pressed against mine, its heat seeping through the fabric and warming my lonely skin. I had fantasized about making love to her so many times that the past hour nearly seemed just as unreal to me. But the peaceful euphoria that lingered in every cell of my undead being was evidence that it had happened; not to mention the slumbering form of the angel at my side.

I grinned at the memory of the deliciously naughty things she had done to me. Bella definitely had a devilish streak, and it nearly drove me mad with desire. Yet nothing could compare to my angel's trusting face when she had spread her wings and let me inside. Plunging into the white-hot heat of her sex was beyond any sensation I could have imagined, and I had imagined a lot. I focused on her reaction more than my own, and it was the only thing that kept me from losing every ounce of self control I had. Her virgin's cry of pain snapped me back to the reality that my ecstasy was far from fun for her.

And thus began a tightrope act of epic proportions seething within my body. Bella would never know the precarious balancing act I performed, trying to love her without hurting her further. Any careless action on my part would bruise her tender skin like a peach, or worse. I would not allow "worse" to happen. Every move I made was maddeningly measured and restrained. I knew that what I perceived as gentle might feel rough to her impossibly fragile human form. And so I made love to her as if she were made of glass, never pressing my full weight on her, never thrusting too hard or too fast, and certainly never sinking my teeth into her neck no matter how violently the blood lust wracked my body when my aching cock finally exploded inside her. She would never know the sweet relief the sound of her giggles gave me when I tore through the down pillow instead of her skin. These struggles were mine alone to bear, and I would bear them gladly, willingly. There was no sacrifice I wouldn't make for the saving grace lying next to me.

A grumbling noise interrupted my reverie, and I grinned when I realized what it was. It had been quite awhile since Bella had eaten lunch, and even in her sleep, her stomach was beginning to protest. She was sure to be ravenous when she awoke.

I gently extricated myself from her encircling arms, instantly missing their warmth as I scooted out of the bed. She frowned slightly, and I whispered in her ear that I wouldn't be long. I pulled a clean tee and jeans out of my duffel bag, got dressed, and headed downstairs.

A quick perusal of the kitchen proved my assumption that it had been stripped of any perishables. I remembered passing a convenience store on the way downtown earlier, so I slipped out the front door and sprinted in that direction through the cool night air. I wasn't sure what Bella liked, other than her favorite soda. When I got to the store, I grabbed a couple of sandwiches, some chips, snack bars and drinks. The kid behind the counter stared at me suspiciously as I quickly paid for the items. I wondered if he recognized the supposedly deceased Edward Masen, or if my complexion looked especially pallid under the harsh fluorescent lights overhead. I made a swift exit and ran back to the house before he could question me.

Though I had tried to be quiet, the sound of the front door must have awakened Bella. She appeared suddenly at the top of the stairs, running halfway down them and then stopping short, staring at me for a moment. She looked a bit disoriented. She was wearing my flannel shirt, which hung loosely over her slight frame in such a way as to send a strange thrill of caveman possessiveness through me.

"Hey, I'm sorry I woke you," I apologized as I flipped the switch to a small alcove light in the entryway. Apparently all the downstairs lamps had been removed by my enterprising relatives. "I thought you might be hungry," I told her, waving the grocery bag in explanation. I began to look through it and list the contents. "Let's see…I got you a chicken salad sandwich and a veggie sandwich, some regular chips and some barbecued--I used to love those--oh, and some---" I broke off in surprise as Bella flew down the stairs and threw her arms around me, knocking the grocery bag to the floor. "Are you okay?" I asked her, holding her tight and stroking her hair.

She nodded as I lowered her feet back to the floor. "I got scared when I woke up and you weren't there," she whispered, the fright apparent in her huge jade eyes as she looked up at me. "I kind of forgot where I was for a minute."

"I'm sorry," I said, giving her a tender kiss. "I thought I could sneak out for a few minutes without waking you. I didn't mean to frighten you. I shouldn't have left you here alone," I frowned, irritated with myself for having been so thoughtless.

"It's okay," she replied, sounding a little more like herself. "I just panicked for a minute…it was stupid. I'm fine, really." She picked the grocery bag up off the floor. "Thanks for doing this for me. It was really sweet of you," she said, smiling shyly. She suddenly seemed a little embarrassed, perhaps thinking of how intimate we had been just a short time ago.

"Well, your stomach let me know in no uncertain terms that it had some needs that were not being met," I grinned, taking off my coat and tossing it on the nearby sofa.

Bella's eyes grew round. "Was my stomach growling in my sleep or something?" she exclaimed, her face turning even more scarlet.

"Just a little," I assured her. "I thought I'd better have something ready for you when you woke up."

She thanked me yet again and sat down on the couch, pulling out the chicken sandwich and ripping off its cellophane wrapper. She took a healthy bite and made a satisfactory sound, alleviating my worry that the convenience store food might be inedible.

"Does it taste okay?" I asked anyway, just to be sure.

"Yeah, it's not bad, actually," she smiled. "Of course, I'm so hungry I might have eaten my own hand pretty soon, so…." she teased. I must have been staring at her again because she blushed and demanded, "What is it about me chewing and swallowing that fascinates you so much?"

I was a bit taken aback. I hadn't really given it much thought, other than the obvious fact that her gorgeous mouth offered so many sensual possibilities, many of which I'd been lucky enough to enjoy. "I don't know," I began slowly. "I guess I find it sort of comforting, watching you eat. It reminds me how alive you are…that you survived." I couldn't bring myself to finish that thought.

She took another bite of sandwich and chewed thoughtfully, then broke open the bag of barbecued chips, unleashing an aroma I once loved. Now it paled in comparison to Bella's unique essence…her skin, her hair, her blood, her sex…the most tantalizing cocktail ever to bewitch my vampire senses.

"Would it have been so bad?" she finally mused, munching on a potato chip.

"What do you mean?" I asked. What could she possibly be saying?

"If I weren't human anymore. If you had turned me…if I were like you now." Her voice was blasé, but her eyes were dead serious. I stared at her, dumbfounded, as she calmly opened her soda and took a hefty swig. The sound of her gulping the fizzy liquid suddenly took on an exaggerated importance to me. How could she be so cavalier about giving up her life? And for what--to be with me? I wanted no such sacrifice from her. I couldn't shoulder that burden.

"Well, first of all, you wouldn't have ended up like me. You would have ended up like Lauren Mallory," I said roughly. She blanched, her eyes darting up to meet mine, but she continued eating. My chest felt tight. "You don't know what you're saying. You don't want to be like me."

"It doesn't look so bad from where I'm sitting," she replied evenly, apparently unaware of the irony of her words as she enjoyed her wholly human repast. "To have superior strength and speed, to never be weak or vulnerable, to never get sick or grow old or die." She gave me a long look. "All of those things will happen to me, you know."

My heart felt as if it were wrapped in a tourniquet. Could vampires have heart attacks? Because Bella was most assuredly trying to give me one.

"But you will also go on to have a life, Bella. College, a career…a family. I would never want to keep you from any of that."

She abruptly stopped eating and gaped at me. Finally, maybe she was beginning to see some sense.

"You want me to do all of those things without you?" she finally asked in a incredulous tone. Tears welled in her eyes.

Oh, God. The thought of giving her up made my chest constrict so painfully I could barely breathe. "Of course that's not what I want," I asserted. "But I want you to have all the normal things in life that you deserve. You'd only grow to resent me if I took away your choice to have them."

She shook her head slowly. "None of that means anything without you," she whispered.

"You say that now, but eternity is a long time, Bella," I reminded her. When I thought about untold years stretching before me without her at the center of them, I didn't want them. "I would give anything to go back in time somehow and be human for you…with you. To wake up next to you every day, and grow old with you. To touch you and not make you shiver. To hold you and keep you warm while you sleep." I reached out and brushed away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"I don't shiver because your skin is cold," she told me, running her fingers along the back of my hand, which still held her face. She let them trail slowly down my forearm like hot molasses, and improbable goose bumps managed to raise on my stone flesh in response.

"I know," I whispered. "But you should." I let my hand drop from her face, and she looked disappointed. She went back to her meal and chewed silently, while I ingested everything about her: The way she hooked her hair behind one ear, one rebel lock refusing to obey and falling into her face. The way the muted light from the hallway cast long shadows from her eyelashes onto her freckled pink cheeks. The way she tilted her head back and swallowed loudly when she took a long drink from her soda bottle. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the heat emanating from her body. I inhaled her delicious, torturous scent deeply into my dead lungs. I didn't want her to change. I loved every human thing about her.

"So how could you have changed what happened?" Her voice startled me and my eyes flew open to meet hers. I looked at her quizzically, and she continued. "How could you have stopped me from ending up like Lauren… and made me like you instead?"

It was as if she could read my mind, and deliberately chose to ask the one thing that would upset me most.

"I couldn't have," I answered roughly. "I wouldn't have known how. I didn't have any idea what I was doing---I didn't even know what I was, I told you that. It's a miracle your father came and saved you when he did. I don't know if I could have stopped otherwise."

"But you did stop," she replied matter-of-factly. "You looked so… sorry. So guilty." Her eyes drifted as if she were picturing that night in her head.

I stared at her in shock. "You remember that?"

"Of course," she answered, finishing off her sandwich and dropping its wrapper back in the grocery bag. "I remember everything now."

My heart began to throb slightly, picking up its pace as I wondered what she had been thinking and feeling in those horrible moments. "You must have been so terrified of me," I croaked miserably.

To my amazement, she let out a small laugh. "That's the weird thing," she said, her eyes still lost in her memories. "For one long moment, I wasn't afraid at all. All I could hear was your heart beating, so loudly…in the same rhythm as mine. It felt like it was mine…like we were linked, somehow. I felt completely connected to you, and it was…perfect." She sighed, almost a melancholy sound, and then focused her eyes upon mine. "That sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

I was stunned speechless. It simply couldn't be. How could she have felt the same connection, the same oneness, that I had? She'd been near death, and I was the culprit. Yet somehow, improbably, she had felt the same intense bliss that had consumed me and haunted me ever since that night.

Red stained her cheeks and she looked down when I didn't answer her. "Okay, I guess I am crazy," she muttered.

"No, you're not," I rushed to correct her. "Well, if you are, then you're not alone. I've never been able to forget that feeling…like every hunger or thirst I'd ever had was completely satiated in that moment with you. I was lost in the desert…you were my oasis." I reached out and touched the side of her face, caressing her cheek. "Why do you think I couldn't stay away from you? I knew I should. I knew I had no business going anywhere near you after what I did to you. But what we shared was so strong, I could never shake it. I've been living to try to recreate it, somehow, without hurting you again. You can't imagine the guilt I've felt, knowing that the best moment of my life nearly ended yours. It never even occurred to me that you had been anything other than terrified of me." I gazed at her in wonderment and ran gentle fingers down her beautiful face. "You were my angel."

She shook her head slowly. "I'm not an angel, Edward, any more than you're a demon. I'm flesh and blood, and so were you, once." Her eyes were intense as she gazed at me. "You still are. You're my flesh…my blood." She cupped my face in her hand, running her thumb along the edge of my chin. "It's not fair," she whispered. "I want you inside me, the way I'm inside you."

She leaned in, her lips close to mine, her breath warm and enticing on my face. "How would you do it?" she murmured, her lips brushing mine. "How would you change me?"

I let out a ragged breath into her mouth, she was so close. "At that moment…when you were near death…you would have had to drink my blood," I explained. "Your human body would have died, and my vampire blood would have made you immortal."

She appeared to be letting this sink in as she thoughtfully stroked my jaw. "Just like in the movies," she finally said.

I let out a wry laugh. "No, Bella. It's not just like the movies. It's not glamorous. It's brutal, and it's forever. There's no going back from it."

"Forever is where you are. Don't leave me behind, Edward," she pleaded, kissing me again. This time, her tongue teased my lips and worked its way into my mouth. The warm wetness was delicious, and my mouth accepted it greedily. My hands had minds of their own, combing through her hair, massaging the back of her neck, running up her thigh. I slid my fingers under the flannel shirt and over the curve of her hip, gently squeezing her soft, warm flesh. Her hips tilted toward me at my touch, her knee sliding between my thighs. I stroked her leg up and down, and she moaned softly into my mouth, kissing me more deeply. She pushed her hand under my t-shirt, right up to my chest, over my heart.

"I want to feel your heartbeat again the way I did that night," she said, her eyes large and beseeching. "Inside me. Consuming me."

I pulled back and gave her an incredulous look. "There's no way to do that…not without hurting you. I won't do that to you again, Bella. You don't want me to." God, how I wished I could read this girl's mind. She simply couldn't be suggesting what it sounded like she was suggesting.

"On the contrary, I know better than anyone else exactly what I'm asking you," she replied, her hand pressed over my laboring heart, her lips relentless in their tantalizing closeness. "You have to consider it, Edward," she insisted. "Maybe not today. But someday. I don't want us to lose each other. I want us to be the way we were in that moment…indivisible." The drug of her breath in my face was beginning to make me woozy. "I gave you my life…give me yours." She kissed me and pressed her body against mine, pushing at my t-shirt until I finally yanked it over my head and let her hands blaze trails of desire over my reluctant skin.

"You know I'd gladly give you my life and more, Bella. But if you think I'm going to take away your humanity, then you are crazy," I growled in frustration. "You know I want that closeness with you again more than anything. We just have to find it another way," I said adamantly. I pulled her tighter to me, wrapping my hand in the silky tangles of her hair. "I thought we did, almost," I whispered, hoping that the intimacy we'd shared earlier was enough for her, at least for now. I couldn't bear to think of anything more.

She nodded and pushed her thigh between my legs. I slid my hand up the smooth, bare skin of her hip under the flannel shirt, over her perfectly round ass and between her cheeks; then down to the hot folds of flesh between her legs. Her back arched and her legs parted, letting my fingers explore further. Her breaths were short and hot in my face, and I inhaled her scent deeply, relishing the burn that still shot down my throat every time. "You said you want me inside you," I reminded her, pushing the tips of my fingers against her soft, wet opening. "I want that too…you can't imagine how much."

She kissed me, and I responded hungrily, her taste intoxicating me as much as her smell. I felt her hand fumble with the opening of my jeans. I reached down, unbuttoned and unzipped them quickly and yanked them free of my stiff and ready cock. I gently grabbed her thigh from between my legs and pulled it around my hip, pressing her naked groin against my shaft. I rubbed it against her until it was covered in her wetness, and then slowly pushed the head against her opening. She let out a tiny gasp, her eyes wide at first. But then she tilted her hips toward me, letting me in a little, her breath escaping as I pushed gently upward. She moved her hips slowly, bit by bit, taking more and more of me inside her in a sensual rhythm that I matched. She moaned softly as I began filling her more and more with each movement of our bodies toward each other. Our eyes seared into each other's the entire time, forging the unshakable bond that we both craved so desperately. Finally her lids closed and she threw her head back, tilting her pelvis flush against mine and pulling my cock in as deep inside her as it would go. I groaned loudly, fighting the urge to bury my teeth in her delicate neck. I pulled my flannel shirt off of her body and let my eyes do the ravaging instead. God, she was beautiful, her thighs encircling my hips, the tips of her nipples brushing my chest, her mouth hovering inches from mine. I couldn't keep my hands off of her, slowly stroking every curve until her body began to undulate against me in response. I watched, enraptured, as her hips began to move slowly, rhythmically against mine; letting my cock out an inch…then two, then more… and back inside again, as her body got used to the sensation. My own hips began to work to meet hers, thrusting up against her gently, the sound of my skin slapping against hers a strangely potent turn-on.

"Edward, you feel so good," Bella sighed, sending a thrill through me. I realized that having her on top, controlling things, was ideal. I didn't have to worry about being too rough, or crushing her under my steel limbs. Instead, I could fully enjoy the incredible sensations of her tight, wet heat stroking my rigid member as she rode me. She grabbed the sofa on either side of my shoulders for leverage and began grinding in earnest, slamming her body harder and faster against mine, moaning loudly and sending me into an erotic trance as her breasts danced in front of my face. I looked down at the sight of my cock disappearing inside her over and over, and I knew I couldn't hold out much longer. And this time, I wasn't coming unless she came with me. If she wanted our intense connection back, she would have to find it with me this way instead.

I slid my fingers between her legs and began stroking the button of flesh that made her cry out with ecstasy whenever I touched it. She gasped and grabbed my shoulders, slowing her rhythm and letting me work her clit between my fingers. "Edward, please," she sobbed. I couldn't tell whether it was a plea to stop or to keep going.

"Come with me, Bella," I whispered. "I'm not doing this without you this time." I grasped her hips in my hands and pulled her to me, thrusting up into her as deep as I could. I repeated the motion, faster, until she moved in rhythm with me once again. My hands slid over her perfect round cheeks and between her legs, massaging her, feeling my cock ramming into her and nearly ejaculating at the sensation. I moved my fingers back to her clit, stroking it rapidly until her breathing came in short gasps.

With my free hand I grabbed her face and willed her to look into my eyes. "Come for me, Bella," I commanded. "Let go." She whimpered softly and her eyes closed as our bodies reached a fever pitch. And then, at last, I felt the glorious release of her orgasm as her muscles gripped my cock like a vice. Her first contraction was long and unrelenting, squeezing me so hard that I let out a wild cry like an animal in heat. The pleasure was so intense, it was nearly unbearable. I felt my balls draw up like a canon ready to fire; and with her second contraction, I exploded, shooting deep inside her as my hips jerked uncontrollably into hers. Like beasts unleashed we came together, bodies writhing, our cries of ecstasy echoing loudly through the nearly-empty house. Her arms wound around my neck, her hands clutching my hair fiercely as her body shook. I held her close and buried my face in her hair, biting my lip until I tasted blood. _Better mine than hers_, I thought.

We sat entwined for a long moment, spent and panting, as our bodies calmed and our breathing slowed. I was afraid to speak and spoil the exquisite sound of her breath in my ear, the feel of her lips grazing my earlobe. She drew back at last to look at me, swallowing me whole in the sea of her eyes. I was drowning in her, and never wanted to come up for air.

"I love you," I whispered helplessly, even though those words didn't begin to encompass what I was feeling in that moment.

"I love you," she replied, her eyes drifting down to my lips. I watched her lashes fall and her lips part as she leaned in to softly kiss me. She pulled my bottom lip between hers and sucked on it gently, then licked it with her tongue. My pleasure soon turned to panic when I realized what she was doing---lapping up the bit of blood that remained where I'd bitten my lip.

I seized her face and pulled her away from me, fear filling me as I glared at her. "What are you doing?" I snapped, giving her a slight shake. "Don't you ever drink my blood, Bella. Do you hear me?"

She stared at me in surprise. "Why not? I'm not dying, Edward. One taste of your blood isn't going to turn me." She stroked my hair repeatedly as if trying to placate me.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm down. "Let's not do this right now, okay?" I sighed. "Let's not ruin this moment."

"That's not what I was trying to do," she said quietly. "I just want…_you_. Completely and totally. I'm not afraid of you, or what could happen. I trust you, no matter what." I began to wonder if she was trying to convince me, or convince herself.

"You already have me, Bella. I couldn't belong to you any more if you had me tied to you with a leash."

"Ooh, now there's an interesting idea," she said with a tiny grin and an evil eyebrow.

"Ms. Swan, I'm shocked. I had no idea you were into such---" and before I could finish that tantalizing thought, a ringing sound from my crumpled jeans pierced the quiet room. I groaned and guessed, "With timing like this, it's got to be--"

"Alice," Bella and I said in unison, then laughed. She reluctantly pulled herself off my lap and the sudden lack of warmth shocked my cold body. I hated watching her put my shirt back on and cover up the gorgeous form I loved so much. I pulled up my jeans and reached in the pocket, answering my insistent phone before it would go to voice mail.

"Yes, Alice?" I sighed into the receiver after seeing her name in the caller ID display.

"Hello, my darling brother," she trilled. "How goes it? Isn't post-coital bliss grand?"

"It is, much more so than your timing," I said with an aggravated laugh. "You know, I hope that when X-rated visions pop into your head, you have the decency to avert your eyes. Mentally, that is."

"Of course," she laughed. "You think I want to see my brother and my best friend making hot monkey love? I'd rather spork out my eyes, thank you very much."

"Good. So what's going on in Forks? Have you found any signs of other vampires yet?"

"We didn't even have to look, Edward," Alice said, her voice grim. "It happened again. Another body was found this afternoon near the river. A middle-aged male. When he never came back from his fishing trip , his wife called the police. I'm getting really tired of my precognitive radar being off like this, you know. I'd rather save a life than know when you and Bella are getting busy."

"Trust me, I'd prefer that too," I assured her. "So are Emmett and Jasper patrolling the woods?"

"We all are," Alice replied. "We picked up the scent near the crime scene and followed it up the Sol Duc River a few miles, but we lost her near Beaver. She must have swum upstream after that."

"Wait, 'she?' How do you know this vampire is female---did you see her?"

Bella looked at me in surprise, her eyes popping wide at my words.

"Yes, but it was just like the last time---I saw her too late," Alice continued. "As soon as I had the vision, we went out looking for her, but the damage was done. I've never seen her before around here. I'd remember if I had, because she had long, flaming red hair. Do you know anyone like that, Edward?"

"No, I don't," I answered, wracking my brain for the memory of any redheads. "What's going on here, Alice? I thought you saw a male vampire attack Lauren."

"I did. Maybe the two of them are working together, but if that's the case, it's strange that they wouldn't be hunting together. Still, it's too much of a coincidence for this to be unrelated. They can't avoid us forever. We're patrolling the forest day and night, a pair of us at a time, so at least nothing more will happen. And on the bright side, Edward, you're in the clear now. There's very little chance they'll consider you a suspect now that you've been out of state during the second attack. So you can come back home and help us," she concluded hopefully.

"Yeah, of course I will. I need to get Bella back to her father, too," I said, giving her a sideways look. "I'm surprised he hasn't called to check on her yet."

Bella's eyes grew wider, and she whispered, "My phone!" I watched as she raced up the stairs to my bedroom to retrieve it.

"Edward, there's one thing I'm worried about," Alice said quietly. "I want you to come back to us, but you have to promise me something."

"Of course. What is it?"

"Don't go with her," she said in a foreboding voice. "The redhead. You don't know her now, but you will."

A chill ran down my already icy spine. "What are you talking about, Alice? What have you seen?"

"Nothing definite. I don't know what she's after yet, but she can't be trusted. Don't believe what she tells you. Don't go with her," she repeated.

"I don't understand. Why would I 'go with her?' Do you really think I'd join forces with the vampire who's been wreaking havoc all around Forks? Trust me, that's the last thing you need to worry about."

"I hope so. Just remember what I said, okay?" she said pensively. Then her tone changed and she asked, "So what's the news on the home front? Have you made any cool discoveries about your past? Anything helpful? Any good memories?"

I laughed at her barrage of questions. "Yes, I have had some memories…some good, some bad. At least I know what my family and I were doing in Washington state, but I still don't know how I ended up the way I did. I may never know, unless this redhead, or the other vampire, know something about what happened to me. I still get the feeling all of this is related somehow. You didn't have any trouble with these nomads until after I showed up. I intend to get to the bottom of it, one way or another. I can promise you that."

Bella bounded down the stairs, phone in hand, and sat down close to me on the sofa, her thigh touching mine. I would never tire of the heat that emanated from her right through my clothes. It made me want to wrap her around me and never let her go.

"Do you want me to make the flight arrangements for you guys tomorrow?" Alice asked expectantly.

"No, that's fine, I'll do it," I answered. "I'll let you know when to pick us up in Seattle. And be careful, okay?"

"Of course. I always patrol with Jazz, and Rosalie with Emmett. We're fine. We just want to smoke these two out and figure out what they're after. We don't need any other vamps drawing attention to us. I don't want to leave Forks yet---I like it here, and we have a least a few years left before anyone realizes we aren't aging."

"I know. I like it there too. I'll call tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure. Oh, your flight will get into Seattle at 4:30 p.m. Perfect!" Alice suddenly exclaimed. I had to laugh at how random her visions were, even as I wished they were more consistent.

We said our good-byes while Bella checked her messages. Charlie had left a message while we downstairs, so she called him back after I filled her in on Alice's news. Charlie confirmed that the victim had been an acquaintance of his, and he was pretty shaken up about it. He was worried about Bella and wanted her to come home. She assured him that she was fine at the Cullens, and would be back the next night. I could see by the guilty look on her face that she hated being dishonest with him.

"I'm sorry that you lied to your father for me," I told her after she ended her phone conversation with him. "I shouldn't have brought you here without him knowing."

"I'm the one who insisted on coming with you," she reminded me. "Are you sorry I did?"

"No, of course not. I kind of like playing house with you. I think I could get used to it very easily," I smiled, reaching out and smoothing her hair back from her face. "I don't really want to give you back to Charlie."

"How are we going to find time to be like this together?" she wondered, her expression sad. "I like being alone with you. That's hardly ever going to happen when we go back to Forks."

"Well, you'll graduate next spring. Then we can figure something out. I can always move to wherever you go to college, if you want me to," I offered. I couldn't imagine why she would want such a thing. College was supposed to be a time for her to discover who she is, have fun and date around; not be tied to some old boyfriend, especially an undead one who can only come out at night.

"That's eons from now," she sighed. "And I don't even know if I'm going to college. I've only applied to a handful of places. I don't even know what I want to study."

"You've got time to figure it out. Just do what makes you happy, Bella. And if I fit somewhere in that picture, then I will be a very lucky guy," I said in understatement.

"What do you mean, if you fit somewhere in the picture? You _are_ the picture, Edward," she stated as if that were an obvious fact. "You are my future. I thought I made that clear to you." And then suddenly, her voice faltered. "Unless you don't want me in yours."

"Of course I do," I insisted. "You are all I'm existing for. But you deserve so much more out of life than that."

"Do you think I deserve to be happy?" she asked pointedly.

I nodded in answer.

"Then don't go anywhere," she ordered. "You make me happy."

I leaned in and kissed her tenderly, and the taste of her made my mouth water. I realized I would need to go hunting tonight. The burn in my throat from her scent was becoming difficult to ignore.

She stroked my hair thoughtfully and said, "I'm worried about this other vampire Alice saw. You're sure it's no one you've come across before?"

"No, I'm positive. I'd remember 'flaming red hair,' as Alice called it."

"Not even from around here? I mean, what if there's some connection to this place, or your life before? And that's why she's shown up around Forks?"

"I suppose it's possible," I shrugged, but I couldn't imagine what the connection might be. "I wonder if she's the one who made me. Or the other vampire, the one who killed Lauren," I mused. "I've been wondering if they weren't done with me yet, and now they're back to take care of unfinished business."

Bella looked alarmed. "What kind of business? Do you really think they have the answers you've been looking for?"

"I have no idea, but I hope they do. Either way, we're going to figure out what's going on. We'll get them out of Forks, Bella. There's no way they can stand up to a united front of vampires like the Cullens. They'll have to back down."

"I hope so," she said, biting her lip. I didn't want her to stew about this, so I changed the subject.

"I'm going to call and make some flight arrangements for us to go back to Forks tomorrow, okay? Why don't you get packed and ready for bed---I have a feeling we might have to leave early in the morning," I suggested. She nodded and disappeared upstairs while I called the airlines and booked our flight itinerary. Sure enough, our estimated arrival back in Seattle was at 4:30 p.m. But because of the time zone changes, we wouldn't have to leave until 11 a.m. from Iowa. I was in no hurry to end my alone time with Bella. I would miss it more than she would, I was sure, since I didn't even have the luxury of sleep to fill up some of the lonely hours.

Bella returned downstairs, still wearing my shirt. And I still liked how it looked on her. My face must have given away my thoughts because she said, "I know…I don't want to take it off. Is that okay?" She pulled at the flannel collar uncertainly.

"Of course it is. I like you in my shirt, very much. Almost as much as I like you out of it."

She grinned and plopped down next to me on the sofa, again snuggling up against me. "I like how it smells, yummy like you do."

"I smell 'yummy?'" I asked with a laugh.

"Yes, don't you remember? I told you that that first night. In my truck. When I embarrassed myself completely by drunkenly coming on to you," she reminded me, burying her face in my chest in mock humiliation.

"I remember that evening very well. Much better than you do, I'm sure," I teased. "And I enjoyed your come-ons more than you will ever know." I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head, burying my face there for a moment.

"Alice said you would," she laughed. "Is she ever wrong?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out." I didn't want to go back down this road, so I none-to-subtly changed the subject again. "Well, Ms. Swan, we have no TV and no stereo here. What would you like to do for entertainment the rest of the evening?"

Her eyebrow crooked suggestively, but then her face became animated. "Ooh! I found a guitar in your closet, Edward," she exclaimed. "It must have been yours. Will you play something for me?"

I looked at her in surprise. I didn't remember owning a guitar, but I had played one a few times in the FHS band room. "Well, I'll try," I said gamely, taking her hand and rising off the couch. She ran up the stairs, practically dragging me behind her, and then made a beeline for the closet. Thankfully a bedside lamp remained in my room, and I turned it on so that Bella could see. She emerged from the closet with an exultant look on her face, brandishing a beautiful Gibson Hummingbird guitar. As soon as I saw it, something went tight in my chest. She handed it to me and I grabbed its beautiful rosewood neck reverently, admiring the glossy sunburst finish and beautiful tortoise pick guard with its floral and hummingbird design.

"I begged my dad for this guitar for two years, and he always told me no, it was too expensive," I whispered, the memories almost overwhelming as they rushed through my head. "On my sixteenth birthday, he hid it in the trunk of my car. I drove around all day not knowing it was in there. I went through my whole birthday party trying not to let on how disappointed I was that I didn't get a guitar. And then Dad said, all nonchalant, 'You'd better check the trunk of your car, son. I think you may have left something in there yesterday when you ran errands for you mother.'" I laughed and shook my head at the recollection. "I had no idea what he was talking about. And when I went to check?---This," I smiled, putting the strap around my neck and giving the guitar a strum. It was woefully out of tune, so I sat down on the bed to tune the strings.

"That's fantastic," Bella said softly, her eyes shining in the lamplight. She sat next to me and watched for a moment as I played with the tuning, and then said, "I'm glad you finally had a memory of your dad, Edward."

I smiled and nodded, exhilarated at the memories of my father, but heartsick over the loss at the same time. I noodled until the strings were all reasonably in tune, and then began to pick out a few chords. Bella sat cross-legged with her chin in her hands, her face rapt, as if watching me practice was the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen. Suddenly, a beautiful song popped into my head and flowed out of my fingers. A melody soon followed, and I sang the words to her, wondering if I could have ever guessed before what they would someday mean to me.

_I dreamed you, I saw your face_

_Cut my lifeline, went drifting through space_

_I found an angel, I saw my fate_

_I can only thank God it was not too late_

_Over mountains I floated away_

_Across an ocean, I dreamed her name_

_I followed an angel down through the gates_

_I can only thank God it was not too late_

_Sing a little song of loneliness_

_Sing one to make me smile_

_Another round for everyone_

_I'm here for a little while_

_Now I'm walking this street on my own_

_But she's with me everywhere I go_

_Yeah I found an angel, I found my place_

_I can only thank God it was not too late_

_I can only thank God it was not too late_

_I can only thank God it was not too late…_

I finished and silence echoed through the room as Bella and I gazed at one another. Sometimes music could say what no words ever could.

"Did you write that?" she finally whispered.

"I wish I had. I'm pretty sure it's an old Tom Petty song," I admitted with a half-grin.

"Well, you played and sang it beautifully," she said quietly. It's weird, I've never heard you sing before, but your voice sounds so familiar to me."

"Maybe you did hear me," I told her. "I've sung to you before."

Her forehead furrowed. "When?"

I hesitated, remembering her reaction to my admissions two scant nights ago. "When you were in the hospital," I said at last.

She said nothing, just studied me for a moment. "You sang to me in my sleep?"

I nodded carefully. "I used to talk to you, too. Tell you stories. Pretend you might answer me." Her eyes were filled with some emotion I couldn't identify. "I just wanted you to get better."

She shook her head slowly, still staring at me. "I used to wake up every morning feeling completely at peace. I could never figure out why I didn't have nightmares…why I felt so calm instead. Happy, even." Her eyes were wet with tears, and one rolled down her cheek as she reached out to touch me. "When I tell you I love you, it never seems like enough," she said. "There aren't any words to tell you how I feel."

"Bella," I whispered, pulling her close. I wiped the tear from her cheek as I pressed my forehead against hers. "You don't have to use words. Just you being here with me means everything to me. It's more than enough."

She nodded and kissed me softly, her lips gentle and fragrant. My throat burned and my mouth was parched. I would need to feed, and soon. I pulled away from her, and she looked disappointed. I decided honesty was the best policy.

"I'm going to need to hunt tonight," I told her, stroking her face. "I'll go when you're asleep; you won't miss me. But your scent is getting to be almost too much for me."

She leaned away from me instinctively at my words. "So you're saying that I'm making you…hungry right now?"

"Well, you always make me hungry, but usually for other things," I smiled gently. "I thought that the more I was around you, the more desensitized I would become. And that's true, to an extent. But right now, I don't trust myself with you."

She looked stunned. "So you think you could…snap, or something?"

"No. No, I don't mean that at all. I'd run out of this room at the speed of light before I'd ever harm you again. You can trust me on that score. I could never live through that hell again…what I did to you," I insisted.

I wished desperately that I could read her thoughts, because the troubled look in her eyes could have far too many possible meanings. I sighed in frustration and looked at the clock; it was getting late.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" I suggested. "I promise I'll be back by daybreak."

She looked dismayed. "Can't you stay with me until I go to sleep, at least?"

"Sure. Of course," I agreed. I got up and pulled back the covers, fluffing the one good pillow for Bella and flipping the torn one over to use for myself. She crawled into bed and I pulled the sheets and covers up around her, then lay next to her on top of the comforter, wrapping my arm around her waist. I snuggled my face next to hers, my nose buried in the strawberry scent of her hair, which was far less appetizing to me than the blood that rushed through her veins. "How's this?" I asked her.

"Nice," she replied, pulling her arm out from under the blankets and covering mine, her fingers hot on the back of my hand. We lay still for some time, and I concentrated on the sound of her breathing, waiting until it became deep and slow with sleep. I really had no desire to leave her, and if it weren't for the insistent thirst that gnawed at my insides, I wouldn't have. This was one of my fondest dreams: simply holding her while she slept, listening to her little murmurs and clicks of her tongue and sniffs of her nose. I lay with her longer than I should have, but finally gave in to my body's demands and gently extricated myself from her arms, leaving the room and entering the hallway.

I paused when I got to the doorway of my parents' room, then went inside. I looked around at the furnishings, recognizing them as vaguely familiar; but no solid memories came back to me at the sight of them. Some framed photos remained on the dresser, and I went to take a peek. There were a couple of the three of us as a family, one when I was a kid, and one more recent. There was a wedding photo, my mother looking stunning in a simple fitted white gown, my father handsome and happy in his gray suit. There were pictures of my grandparents, I presumed; but their smiling countenances did nothing to spark my recognition. The closet had already been emptied of their belongings. I wished there had been some clothing left behind so that I could have breathed their scents.

I headed downstairs and out the patio door into the frigid night air. There were plenty of deer in the woods behind the housing development, and I sprinted quickly through the trees, following my nose until it led me to a small herd. I made quick work of a doe who didn't get away fast enough. I wondered what Bella would think if she saw me in action, gulping down blood from the snapped neck of a wild animal. She hadn't even seen me kill the bear yesterday, her eyes squeezed shut in terror. I had wanted to drink the animal's blood, but I didn't want her to see me that way---a beast in my own right. She had no idea what she was asking of me when she begged me to consider making her a vampire---no idea what she would be condemning herself to.

I drained the doe until I was overflowing, then loped off in search of a stream. I vaguely remembered where one was located and set off in that direction. I finally heard the running water and found the creek, then washed the blood from my face and hands. I'd become fairly skilled at keeping it off of my clothes, but I wanted to make sure that I was clean before I headed back to the house.

_Don't want to scare her with the truth, now, do you?_

I bolted upright and looked around. I heard the words in my head, but they weren't mine. It was a voice I'd never heard before. I looked around cautiously, but only birds and small rodents were in the vicinity. I took a deep breath and caught a faint odor that was distinctly…vampire. With a start I realized it reminded me of the scent I'd picked up near the place where Lauren had been killed. Surely he hadn't followed me here, had he? Wouldn't I have heard his thoughts and intentions somewhere along the way, in an airport or here in town? But the truth was, I had already become adept at blocking out the droning sound caused by dozens of minds in crowded places, their busy thoughts becoming so much background noise. It's possible I could have missed this one voice altogether, especially when it was the voice of a stranger.

"Who are you?" I called out into the stillness. No reply. "I know you're here. Show yourself!"

Dead leaves whispered in the breeze, nothing more. I inhaled deeply again and took a few steps in the direction of his scent. It was impossible to know how recently he was here; that is, if he really was here and my mind wasn't just playing tricks on me. I couldn't imagine why some unknown vampire would follow me all the way to my hometown. To what end? What did he want from me? Frustration fueling me, I continued following his odor, determined to get some answers. I jogged fruitlessly through miles of forest before I finally gave up the search. I heard no more voices, and the scent grew faint. Whatever he was doing here, it seemed he was intent on playing games with me awhile longer. He wasn't ready to tip his hand. The sun was beginning to come up, and I decided I should get back to---

BELLA. Sudden terror knifed through me. What if this was just a ruse to keep me away from her long enough for him to…. I couldn't finish the thought. I turned and raced like the wind back to the house, my only thought a frantic prayer that she was safe. It took mere minutes, but each one felt like an eternity as I tried not to imagine the worst. I leapt up on the deck and wrenched open the patio door, barely taking time to slam it shut behind me as I bounded for the stairs. I flew into my bedroom, took one look at my bed and nearly fell to my knees. It was empty. My eyes frantically swept the room--no sign of her was there, other than her duffel bag on the floor.

"Bella!" I howled at the top of my voice, like a madman completely unhinged. I stumbled into the hallway and looked around wildly. Just as I noticed a crack of light coming from under the bathroom door, I heard Bella's muffled voice call out: "Edward? I'm in the shower."

An agony of relief flooded me as I burst through the bathroom door. "Are you all right?" I asked, trying not to sound like a complete lunatic. I didn't want her to know what had just happened; I didn't want her to worry needlessly. I would protect her from now on.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I couldn't sleep so I just decided to get up." She opened the shower door a crack and poked her wet head out. "Do you want to join me?" she asked with grin that was equal parts shy and suggestive.

I stood looking at her for a moment, still panting, more from fear than exertion. Then I threw my coat on the floor, kicked my shoes off and strode to the shower door. I yanked it open and stepped inside, still fully dressed, and pulled Bella's naked body against me. I grasped her surprised face in my hands, looked deeply into her eyes and said, "I will never lose you. You need to know that. I won't live without you." She opened her lips to reply and I covered them with a desperate, hungry kiss. I kissed her until she gasped for breath; then I pushed her against the shower wall and kissed her harder, my hands roaming down her body, fingers memorizing every curve and hollow. The water from the shower beat on my back, soaking my clothes, making them heavy and hot against my skin. Bella began unbuttoning my shirt; I yanked it over my head instead and threw it over the shower door. She ran her hands up and down my chest and stomach, looking quizzically up into my needy eyes.

"What happened out there?" she asked, stroking my face. As always, I felt calm begin to return as her fingers trailed along my jaw.

"Nothing," I lied, closing my eyes, unable to look at her. "I just realized I won't get to do this tomorrow. Lie with you while you're sleeping. Shower with you in the morning. Make love to you whenever I want to," I sighed longingly, pressing my naked torso against hers.

"We'll find a way. We have to," she murmured, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me again and again. "I won't live without you, either."

I couldn't stand the feel of my soaked jeans any longer, and I unbutton and unzipped them quickly, pushing them down and kicking them to the corner of the large stand-up shower. I gazed at Bella's pale, glistening body and was reminded of how she looked in the pool under the moonlight. She was just as luscious here, in the white glow of the bathroom fixtures, every freckle and perfect imperfection on display. There was no part of her that I didn't want to know like the back of my hand; no part I didn't want to explore completely with eyes, my fingers and my mouth. I began kissing her neck, her shoulders, her arms; she moaned softly and her head fell back to give me access to the hollow of her throat. I moved down to her breasts, stroking each perfect teardrop and tasting each nipple until it was hard and quivering under my tongue. She cried out and her fingers clutched my hair as I moved down her creamy stomach with my lips, my hands caressing her hips as I fell to my knees before her. I kissed and nipped gently at her abdomen and her thighs as my hands squeezed the firm round flesh of her ass.

"Edward," she moaned, her fingers combing through my hair. Her back arched, pushing her pussy toward my hungry mouth. I pulled her right leg over my shoulder, opening her up and exposing her wet, pink folds. I ran my tongue up and down them, savoring the feel of her delicate flesh; then flicked it quickly over her clit until she whimpered loudly, clutching my hair harder. My tongue found her opening and probed deeper, as I memorized the heady flavor of her cream. I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to touch her, feel her, taste her as if it were the last time. I didn't know what was waiting for us back in Forks. But right here, right now, was ours.

I couldn't get enough of her, my hands exploring every inch of her skin, my mouth teasing and devouring her sex until her moans were loud and reckless. Her hands gripped my shoulders and her hips began to spasm, her orgasm shaking her from head to toe. I continued massaging and kissing her as she came down from her climax; I didn't want to stop or let go of her.

She stroked my face gently, willing me to look up at her. I let her leg fall and slowly rose to my feet, my eyes locked with hers. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, and how amazing it made me feel to give her such ecstasy. Words failed me and I tried to convey it all with my eyes, wishing that for once we could both read each other's minds and know, without a doubt, just what the other meant to us.

"My turn," she whispered, reaching up and kissing my chin while her hands traced the outline of my neck and down my shoulders. She proceeded to kiss and caress her way down my body, coaxing all the same sounds of pleasure out of me that she had just emitted moments ago. She licked and gently bit my nipples; she kissed and massaged each abdominal muscle; she combed her fingers back and forth through the strip of hair on my belly down to my groin. I could only groan in frustration as her lips and fingers wandered down my thighs and squeezed my ass. My throbbing erection was pointing right at gorgeous face by the time she slowly opened her mouth and ran her tongue along the underside, up to the head. She grasped my cock in her hand and twirled her tongue all around the ridge at the tip, then pressed it into the tiny opening. She tickled it mercilessly with the tip of her tongue, and just when I thought I couldn't take any more, she slid her lips over the head and halfway down my shaft, taking me deep in her mouth. I gasped loudly as the sensation wracked my body, bracing my hands on the shower wall behind her to steady myself.

She continued to work her hand and her mouth up and down my cock, changing the speed from slow to quick, gently massaging my scrotum, and making me lose my mind in the process. I groaned as she took each ball in her mouth and sucked on them one at a time while she pumped my shaft with her hand. I began to feel like I might come, but then she slipped her free hand behind my balls and pressed her thumb firmly up into the flesh there, sending an electric shockwave through me that stopped my ejaculation in its tracks.

"God, Bella," I rasped as she took me in her mouth again. My dick felt strained to the snapping point as she stroked and sucked it with one hand while the other continued to massage my perineum, sending sensations through me that were so intense they were almost unbearable. I began whimpering like a caged animal, begging for release. Finally she eased the pressure behind my balls and began rapidly pumping my head in her hand, and I could feel the exquisite pressure building. She took me deep in her mouth again and I couldn't stop my hips from thrusting gently, pushing the head of my cock repeatedly between her lips and over her hot, wet tongue. She gagged slightly when I pushed too deep, and I felt guiltily aroused at the sound of it.

"Bella, I'm going to come," I warned her hoarsely in between moans, knowing I was about to lose all control.

She stopped long enough to look up at me and say, "Good. I want to taste you." And I was lost in her mouth again, her hand pumping my orgasm out of me as I convulsed and shot straight down the back of her throat. She swallowed as quickly as she could, the feel of it nearly sending me out of my mind; but cum still filled her mouth and washed back over my twitching cock. She continued swallowing and then began licking me clean, while I made gasping, whimpering noises, completely stunned at what she had just done to me. I considered it a miracle I hadn't driven my hands right through the shower walls, my climax had been so intense.

I was unable to speak for several minutes. I watched my beautiful girl lap every bit of semen off of me as if it were the best dessert she'd ever tasted. Her hands trailed up and down my hips and thighs, grazing my skin softly and leaving warm tingles that would have made me hard again if I weren't completely spent. She rose slowly, kissing her way up my belly and to my chest. I wound my hands through her hair and tilted her head back to look up at me.

"You are amazing," I whispered, staring at her in wonder. "You didn't have to do that at the end, you know."

"I wanted to. I told you, I wanted to taste you. I want you in every way possible, Edward. Every bit of you," she said, sliding her arms around my waist.

"You have me. Always." I kissed her gently, then shook my head and asked, "You have to tell me though…where did you learn to do that thing with your thumb?"

She giggled and the blush I adored tinged her cheeks. "I read it in Alice's Cosmo magazine."

I chuckled in spite of myself and remarked, "Women's magazines give you girls sex tips like that? Wow…lucky men. Lucky me," I corrected. She smiled and buried her face in my chest while I stroked her long, wet hair. She shivered slightly, and I realized that I was the one with hot water hitting his back while she clung to my corpse-like skin. I turned us slowly around so the warm stream showered over her instead of me.

"Who's going to get the bill for this?" Bella suddenly wondered aloud. "I mean, how much hot water have we wasted already?"

I laughed that this would concern her---that someone else would have to pay for our recklessness. "Relax, water's not metered here. It's billed by the room or something. We can run it all day if we want to. And why I remember details like that instead of the important stuff, I'll never know," I added in irritation.

"Well, I'm glad you remembered all the things you did this weekend. I think this trip was worth it, don't you?" she asked.

"In more ways than one," I answered with a grin.

I pushed us both directly under the water and soaked us completely while Bella laughed. We decided maybe we should actually bathe before we left for the airport, so we took turns using Bella's shower sponge and gel to soap each other from head to toe. In some ways, that simple act was even more intimate than the sex we'd just shared. I felt as if I were memorizing her every hair, every mole, every freckle as I had wanted to do when I first saw her naked body in this shower stall. She let me shampoo her hair even though she had already done it earlier. Taking care of her felt like an honor, a privilege that I wasn't sure I could ever earn, but would be grateful for every day of my existence.

She returned the favor for me, and I wished she didn't look so awed as she sponged me slowly up and down, giving me shivers everywhere she touched. She often appraised me like I was a statue in a museum, and it only served to remind me how far-removed I was from human now. I knew she found me beautiful and desirable, which I had to admit I enjoyed; but I also wished she found me warm and huggable, an improbability at best.

My melancholy persisted as we reluctantly turned the shower off, stepped out into the steamy bathroom and wrapped ourselves up in some towels that were luckily still tucked away in the hall closet. I picked up my wet clothes from the shower and told Bella I needed to throw them in the dryer downstairs.

I quickly inspected the house after finding the washer and dryer in the otherwise empty basement. There were no signs that anyone other than Bella and I had been in this house; no telltale scents other than our own and those of my relatives from the day before. I still felt uneasy at the idea that another vampire might be lurking outside, watching, waiting. For what? Why not just confront me? Maybe he was trying to drive me around the bend, but for what reason, I couldn't fathom. I gritted my teeth and decided to make the best of the short time I had left with Bella. She was my number one concern, and as long as I was with her, she'd be safe.

When I returned to the bathroom, I found Bella brushing her teeth in front of the mirror, which was completely fogged over save for one small spot that she'd wiped down with the side of her hand. The towel on her head looked like a giant turban, while the one around her body barely covered her backside. I watched appreciatively as it bounced slightly with the rhythm of her arm while she brushed. I found myself getting hard again already just looking at the muscles in the backs of her thighs leading up to the perfect rear view I knew was hiding under that towel. When she bent over the sink to rinse and spit, I caught a glimpse of the promised land.

I walked up behind her and leaned over, my face next to hers in the mirror. "Do you know what I'm thinking about right now?" I murmured in her ear. She took a deep breath and shook her head. I took hold of the towel wrapped around her head and began to unwind it, letting her hair fall in wet waves down her shoulders. "I'm thinking about the first night you came to Jake's and I gave you a pool lesson."

I took her hair towel and leaned past her, wiping down the mirror so that our reflections were clear. We stared at one another in the glass as I fondled her wet locks between my fingers. "Do you remember that night?" I whispered, running the tips of my fingers lightly down her arm.

"Of course I do," she replied, her voice hushed. I gazed at her reflection as she bit her lip, turning it bright pink.

"You looked so beautiful…almost as beautiful as you look right now," I told her, continuing my gentle exploration of her arm and shoulder. "You can't imagine the things that were going through my mind that night."

"You might be surprised," she countered, her lungs filling sharply as I changed directions and dragged my fingertips across her back, right above the edge of the towel covering her body. "Maybe I was imagining the same things you were."

"You think so?" I breathed into her ear, my lips grazing the side of her face. She nodded and took another quick intake of breath as I pressed my body closer to hers. I couldn't take my eyes off of our reflection, and her eyes looked as mesmerized by our image as mine were. "What were you imagining, Bella?"

Her labored breathing continued and she looked as if she were mustering her courage. "What it would feel like…to be with you like this," she whispered, her looking glass eyes glued to mine.

"Like what, exactly?" I teased, my lip twitching in a tiny smirk that I quickly smothered. She was too quick for me, and the glint in her eye proved she caught my grin.

She arched her hips and pressed her ass firmly against my groin. "What do you think?"

I sighed heavily as I grasped her towel-covered hips and ground her harder against me. "Ms. Swan, are you trying to tell me that you were actually fantasizing about me taking you from behind over the pool table in front of all your friends?" My wicked gaze was matched by hers in the glass before us.

"Everything except that last part," she replied smoothly. "I can do without the audience." She began moving her hips back and forth a little, pushing into me.

"The only ones watching us right now are those two," I murmured in her ear, nodding my head toward our reflections. "She's gorgeous, but he looks like kind of a freak."

She rolled her eyes slightly at me and replied, "You know what they say about those freaks."

"Hmm-mmm, what do they say?" I nuzzled my face into her neck.

"They make the best lovers." She put her hands over mine and grasped my fingers, pulling my arms around her. She ran her fingers up and down my forearms, lightly pulling at the hair growing there and making goose bumps rise on my hard flesh.

"Is that so?" I mused, loving how she was playing along with my game. I would never tire of this girl, nor cease to be surprised at how she rose to a challenge. "Maybe we should put that theory to the test."

I pulled one arm free from hers and slid it under her towel, over one cheek. I gave it a firm squeeze and rubbed my growing hard-on against her, reasonably sure she could feel it even through our bath towels.

"Well, I guess I'll never really know, because I don't plan to compare him to anyone else," she nodded at my reflection, entwining her fingers around my hand that remained around her waist. "I'm kind of a one-freak woman," she grinned.

I chuckled and continued to rub her hip under the towel. I looked at my face in the mirror and joked, "You are one very lucky S.O.B, you know that?" Except it wasn't a joke. It was true. My smile faded and I kissed her face, her neck, her shoulder. I let go of her hip and tugged at the edge of her towel, freeing her breasts as it fell a few inches. I stared shamelessly at them in the mirror, then reached up with my other hand and caressed them one by one. I thrilled to the sound of her heart beginning to race and her breath growing shallow. I yanked at the edge of the towel again and it pulled apart where she had knotted it, then fell to the floor.

Both hands free, I traced them slowly down the front of her body, her eyes following my fingers in the mirror. I worked her nipples with my thumbs and she leaned back, her shoulder blades hard and hot on my chest. She lifted her arms up and grasped my shoulders, her back arching, her breasts pressing into my hungry hands. Her green eyes were sultry and dark as she watched me in the mirror, apparently enjoying this show as much as I was. I slid my hands down her ribs, into the hollow of her waist, over the smooth plane of her belly and down to the small triangle of hair below. She gripped my shoulders tighter as I slid my fingers between her thighs, probing the flesh there. Sighing, she tilted her pelvis toward my hands, letting me explore her better. Finally her eyes closed and her head fell back against my chest, a low moan escaping her lips.

Her ass pressed insistently against me, and I looked down at its perfect roundness. I stopped what I was doing and dropped to my knees behind her, grabbing each cheek in my hands and massaging her firm, soft flesh. Each buttock was punctuated with one large, very sexy dimple at the top, right below the curve of her waist. I explored the dimples thoroughly with my tongue before moving to middle, slowly making my way down. There was no part of her I didn't want to know intimately, and I spread her cheeks apart with my hands while my mouth worked its way over every orifice, back to front, and back again. Her cries of pleasure were more than enough reward, her arching back and spreading legs an invitation to continue.

Finally the scent of her dripping sex was too much for my aching member to ignore any further. I stood and dropped the towel from my waist, and Bella's eyes met mine briefly in the mirror before drifting down to my erection. She was already leaning on her hands over the counter, her face now close to the glass. I stood close behind her and leaned over her, pressing the length of my body against hers in nearly the exact pose from those weeks ago in the pool hall.

"Tell me what you want, Bella," I whispered into her ear. My breath fogged the glass briefly before the moisture dissipated. I wanted to hear her say the words. I needed to know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

"I want you," she replied, her voice thick, her breath coming fast.

"How do you want me, Bella?" I teased, pressing my erection against her backside. "What do you want me to do to you?"

She groaned, looked my reflection in the eyes and said, "I want you to fuck me."

I was startled by her frank reply, but only for a moment. I slid my cock between her cheeks and pushed it back and forth, savoring the feel of her wet heat. I pushed the tip slowly into the opening of her pussy, then stopped.

"Like this?" I asked in mock innocence, unable to stop myself from teasing her a bit more.

"Yes," she replied in a exasperated moan. "I'm glad you find this amusing."

I grinned briefly and said, "On the contrary. I find it very arousing. I can't read your mind, you know. You have to tell me what you want."

She shook her head slightly, then replied flippantly, "Fine. I want you to slide your cock inside me as deep as it will go, and then slide it in and out a bunch more times, faster and faster, until we both come. How's that?"

I smirked at her sarcastic tone and replied, "Thanks for the refresher course. Let's see how that works, shall we?" And with one long, smooth thrust, I plunged my cock inside her to the hilt.

I was immediately sorry for my actions, because her cry of pain temporarily destroyed the mood. I was suddenly reminded that this was only the third time she'd done this, and her vagina was incredibly tight from this angle. What felt mind-blowingly amazing to me was still bordering on uncomfortable for her.

"I'm sorry," I cringed, stroking her hair and covering her face and shoulder with soft kisses. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I promise I won't do that again."

She shook her head, her frustrated eyes meeting my guilty ones in the mirror. "No, don't apologize. I wanted this. I want you like this. It's just…a little overwhelming."

"I'm going to make this better for you, I promise," I assured her. I ran my hands slowly, gently up and down her body, massaging her, relaxing her. I stayed inside her, letting her get used to the feel of our bodies joined together this way. I stroked her hips up and down, slowly moving against her, pumping in and out of her a little at a time. Her body gradually began to respond, moving in tandem with mine. I reached around and massaged her clit gently with my fingers and she sighed appreciatively, her eyes closing and her back arching instinctively. She moaned as my thrusts grew longer, deeper, quicker. She felt so amazing that I wanted to come, but I knew she was nowhere near ready.

I stopped for a moment, withdrawing from her. She looked at me curiously in the mirror. I smiled softly and said, "I want to try something." I stood upright, then reached down and ran my hand down the inside of her thigh. I pulled on it gently, lifting it up. I placed her knee up on the counter, opening her up wide. Her gorgeous pink pussy was on display in the mirror, and she looked a bit shocked at first at the sight of herself like this.

"You don't even realize how beautiful you are, do you," I murmured, running my hand down the side of her body, over her hip and down to her throbbing sex. I stroked it up and down while she watched in the mirror, biting her lip, her breathing ragged. "You need to see how beautiful you are. What you do to me. How much I want you." I grasped my dick and began rubbing the head along her folds and back against her swollen opening. The sight of our sex reflected back at us seemed to magnify every feeling of love and lust I had for this girl tenfold. I couldn't hold back and I slid my cock inside her, this time slowly pushing upward in gentle thrusts. To my surprise, she reached down and began touching herself, massaging her clit and sliding her fingers around my cock as I pumped more deeply into her.

"Bella, that feels incredible," I sighed. And watching her do it was even more enticing. My eyes met hers in the mirror, and I saw total trust and passion there. I turned her face to mine and drank in her expression as she gazed up at me. I kissed her deeply, lovingly, hungrily. I began to feel desperation creep back into me; a nagging feeling that I should cherish this fleeting moment.

She reached her hand up to the side of my face and kept it there, her other hand grasping the towel rack next to her to brace herself as I rammed my cock into her. To me, they felt like gentle strokes; but the resounding slap of my skin meeting hers, and the quivers that shook her body, proved that my thrusts had a stronger impact than I could perceive.

I slowed for a moment, breathing heavily, searching her eyes in the glass again for some kind of clue as to what she was feeling. To my relief, she looked dismayed. "Don't stop, Edward. I'm close," she gasped.

I kissed her face, clutched her to me and thrust into her hard and deep. She moaned loudly and I continued, plunging into her as recklessly as I dared, fucking her, branding her, making her mine. In the mirror were two rutting animals, all inhibitions and constraints abandoned; and it was more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, watching them come together, crying out each other's names. No one who saw us in this moment could deny that we were one flesh, one soul. I felt it almost as strongly as the day I drank her blood: that we were inseparable. That I would carry a part of her with me always.

We said nothing for several minutes, just gazed at each other in the mirror; enraptured, dazed, spent. Finally she took her knee off of the counter and winced slightly, as if her body were stiff. I gently turned her to me and lifted her up on the countertop, cradling her in my arms and kissing her softly on the cheeks, nose and mouth.

"I don't want to leave," she finally sighed, wrapping her arms and legs around me and holding me close.

I rocked her gently and squeezed her tight. "We are going to be together, Bella," I assured her. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

I didn't know how I'd ever keep that promise, but I had to find a way. Anything else was unthinkable to me.

I reluctantly left the bathroom so Bella could dry her hair and finish getting ready. I went to my room and got dressed, packed up my duffle bag and took one last glance around at the remnants of Edward Masen. I wouldn't take any souvenirs with me. What was done, was done. As I turned to leave the room, my eye spied the Hummingbird leaning in the corner. I regarded it a moment, then retrieved it and went to the closet in search of its case. Perhaps this was one remembrance of my former self that I could afford to take with me. Music was too much a part of me to deny myself this one last gift from the loving parents I'd been forced to leave behind.

"Are you going to take the guitar?" Bella's voice came from the doorway. Her face was hopeful.

"Yeah. Might as well," I said with a half-smile.

"You should. It belongs to you. You deserve to keep it," she said. "Maybe you can teach me how to play, too."

"You want to learn?" I grinned.

"Yeah! I love music. I'd rather be your back-up musician than your groupie," she said with a laugh. "I can't sing, though. You're on your own there."

"I think I can teach you to sing, too," I told her as I approached. "Don't sell yourself short."

Her expression grew more serious. "I won't," she replied.

I gave her a peck on the lips and told her I was going to take my things downstairs and call a cab while she finished packing. After the phone call, I took one last look around this house that still had only a vague feeling of home to me. The memories of my time here with Bella would be the most vivid and cherished ones I would carry with me from now on.

I sat down at the piano and played a little, and for a moment I could almost feel my mother's presence beside me…could hear her telling me the names of the chords as I struck them. I suspected that the twinge of regret I felt was only the tip of an iceberg of pain that lurked within me, should I ever fully remember. I was actually grateful for the amnesia that crippled my ability to feel the full weight of that loss.

I looked up at last to find Bella sitting on the sofa, watching me quietly. "I'll never get tired of listening to you play," she said.

"I'll remind you of that in about 50 years when you're telling me to stop making that infernal racket," I joked.

"I'll be an old woman in 50 years," she said crossly.

"That's exactly my point," I answered. "You'll be cranky and sick to death of me."

She didn't laugh, and I knew why. I sighed heavily, knowing there was no solution to this impasse, at least not right now. "Please, Bella. We have some time to figure that out."

She nodded and got up off the couch, picking up her bag and heading for the door. I picked up my things and followed her, giving the house, and the Masens, a soft "good-bye" under my breath as we stepped outside into the gray morning. I was thankful for the cloud cover that kept my secret. I inhaled deeply, subconsciously searching for any scents that signaled a threat. Only the clean, crisp Iowa air filled my lungs. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing earlier this morning. Maybe the volatile situation that faced me in Forks was just making me paranoid.

Our taxi arrived shortly, and we took our first flight to Des Moines without incident, the small plane behaving perfectly this calm morning. By the time our second flight had arrived in Denver, Bella had taught me how to play Hangman, figure out my numerology chart by my birth date and name, and tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. Actually, I never did figure out that last one, but I was highly impressed with Bella's skill at doing so with the cherry that came in her virgin daiquiri on the plane. I also understood a little better how she'd managed the superior oral skills that she had performed on me that morning, and I was more than a little appreciative.

Our 70-minute layover in Denver meant that Bella could enjoy a nice meal in one of the airport restaurants, and that I could enjoy watching her. I sat blissfully with my chin propped on my hand across the table from her while she masticated her oriental salad with gusto.

Finally she stopped and gave me an annoyed look. "You were right. You are a freak."

"Hey, I'm not the one who had a hamster named Stinky when I was seven," I countered, referring to a round of Twenty Questions we'd played on the plane.

"Okay, so he had a little flatulence problem, but he was adorable!" she insisted, laughing in spite of herself. "He deserved love like every other living creature does."

My smile became rueful. "So you've always been good at picking up strays, huh? Rooting for the underdog."

She gave a soft snort. "Edward, you're hardly an underdog."

"Hey, wasn't that a cartoon superhero? Like when our parents were kids? 'There's no need to fear…Underdog is here!'" I chuckled, wondering where that memory came from.

"Oh my gosh, I think you're right," Bella exclaimed with a laugh. "That little Shoeshine Boy character, right? Who turned into a superhero whenever his girlfriend was in trouble. What was her name?" She thought for a moment. "Polly Purebred! That's it," she laughed. She smiled at me for a moment. "Yeah, that is you." She took a long sip of her strawberry lemonade. "You're not much of a shoeshine boy, though."

"That's okay. You're not much of a Pollyanna either. Thank God." I quirked a suggestive eyebrow at her and her cheeks turned a delicious shade of pink. Then she looked a little sad and dropped her eyes, picking at her salad. "What is it, Bella?" I asked her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just wondering how I'm going to sleep without you there tonight," she said. "I don't sleep well when you're gone. I have nightmares."

"You didn't tell me that," I replied, feeling guilty about the times I'd left her this weekend. "Why didn't you say something? I would have stayed with you."

She shrugged and chewed for a moment. "It's fine. I knew you needed to go hunting that second time. It's no big deal."

I thought back to the way she'd thrown her arms around me when I returned last night---as if she were relieved that I was back. "You had a nightmare last night, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have left you in the house alone again. I could have toughed it out."

"Don't be silly," she scoffed, but her expression didn't match her tone. "It was just a dream, I'm sure. Nothing more."

Clearly, it was something more. My inability to read her mind had never been so aggravating to me as it was in this moment. "Bella, please. Tell me what's going on."

Her forehead crinkled into a worried V as she laid her salad fork down. "I'm sure it was nothing. Forget it, Edward, okay?"

This, of course, made me want to know even more desperately what her dream had been. Obviously it had disturbed her and she'd kept it from me. Why?

"No," I refused her. "If it bothered you this much, I think you need to tell me what you dreamt."

She took a deep breath, looked me in the eyes and said, "I dreamed you killed Lauren."

My stunned eyes searched hers for a deeper truth. Did she believe the dream? Her subconscious was telling her I was guilty. Did the rest of her believe it?

"You saw me kill her? In your dream?" I asked, my voice raw.

She shook her head. "No. You were…crouched over her body. Holding it." She stopped and bit her lip, her worried eyes seeming fearful of my reaction. "You had…blood…all over you. And you weren't yourself. It looked like you, but it wasn't you. Your eyes had no soul. No conscience." Her voice faltered, and her eyes fell. My gut plummeted as well. If the dream image had shaken her this much, then there was part of her that believed it was true.

"Bella, do you think I would lie to you?" I asked. "Do you think I lied to you about killing Lauren?" I dreaded the answer. My mind was spinning.

She shook her head adamantly. "No. I know you wouldn't. The Edward I know would never lie, never turn on me." She paused, and my stomach twisted in knots as I sensed she wasn't finished. "What worries me is…what if there's an Edward I don't know?"

I blinked at her, not comprehending her words. "What do you mean…an Edward you don't know? I've shown you everything, given you everything, confessed everything. There's nothing else, I swear. I know I was dishonest with you, but that's over. There are no more secrets. You know everything."

She pursed her lips together and gave me a tense, worried gaze. "Edward…what if you don't know everything?" she whispered. "What if your amnesia isn't just in the past…what if it's in the present, too?"

I stared at her in utter confusion. "I don't understand what you're saying, Bella."

She sighed heavily and ran her hand through her hair, her eyes unable to meet mine. Finally she looked up at me and said, "What if you've done things as a vampire that you don't remember? Is it possible that you, sort of, black out? And don't remember things that you've done? Things that you don't want to remember?"

I leaned back in my seat, dazed, as the slow dawn of understanding crept over me. She thought I was crazy. That I had an unconscionable Mr. Hyde lurking under my gentle Dr. Jeckyll exterior, waiting to unleash his fangs at any moment. I almost laughed at the sick justice of it all. Why wouldn't she suspect such a thing? I had certainly given her suspicions just cause, from the moment I met her. Of course her subconscious had resurrected the monster. It was trying to protect her.

I shook my head and chuckled at the sad, twisted situation I'd fooled myself into thinking was resolved. How could I ever hope to gain her trust? It was a fool's errand. And I was a fool who was so in love that he'd go to any length, tell himself any fairytale, in order to believe that he could right a wrong that could never be righted.

And still, my lips persisted in trying to salvage the tenuous bonds I'd forged with Bella. My self-preservation instincts were apparently as strong as hers.

"Bella…I don't sleep," I reminded her. "Ever. I've been conscious every single moment since I woke up in the woods almost two months ago. I remember every single thing that's happened, every single thing I've done. What you're suggesting is impossible."

She looked relieved. Her conscious wanted to fool her, too. It wanted what it knew was wrong for her. "I know, it's crazy. Forget it. It was just a dream. I mean, now that Alice saw this new vampire, we know you're innocent, right? You're in the clear. And even though I know you're worried about the redhead, I can't help but be glad that she made it okay for you to come home with me." She reached out and grasped my cold hand in her molten one, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I nodded and smiled, but could muster no other words. Every part of me was in a tailspin. Without Bella's trust, what, exactly, did her professions of love mean? Was this why she was so desperate for me to turn her into a vampire? So that she'd no longer have to fear ending up like Lauren?

Our flight to Seattle felt long, and yet ended far too soon. Bella sensed my withdrawal and pretended to sleep on my shoulder, but her breathing never matched her sounds of slumber that I knew so well. Alice and Jasper met us in the airport with hugs and smiles, and regaled us with stories of their weekend patrols in search of the nomad vamps during the drive to Forks. I wondered if Bella believed any of their tales, or if she secretly thought that there was only one vampire, the female, and that I was actually the other villain. Maybe she even thought I was the one who had killed the teenaged boy on the east side of the Olympia Forest last week.

Bella begged me to walk her to the door when we got to Charlie Swan's house at twilight. She looked up at me expectantly, her hand on the doorknob, her back to the door. I leaned down slowly, memorizing every freckle on her nose, every eyelash framing her dusky green eyes, every curve of her lips. I kissed her tenderly, longingly, deeply; savoring the taste of her tongue against mine. She was delicious, perfect. She was heaven. It felt like a kiss good-bye.

Because the doubt that was destroying me wasn't hers. It was mine.

What if Bella was right?


	13. Trust

_**Bella**_

"You told Edward _what_?"

Alice gave me a look that clearly indicated she thought I'd lost my mind. Jasper's expression mirrored hers as they gaped at me across the school cafeteria table.

"I know, I know," I groaned. "It was stupid. The dream was so vivid, though, that I started to wonder if it could be true-that Edward might have a side of him that none of us is aware of, including him."

"We're never unconscious," Jasper gently reminded me. "I don't see how it's possible for Edward to be killing people and not remember it, unless he's got some sort of split personality. I've never come across anything like that in almost 150 years of being a vampire, though. It's highly unlikely."

"But it's also unlikely for a vampire to have so much memory loss," Alice noted. "Usually the conversion heals any of our human ailments. Esme's body was literally crushed when Carlisle found her, and Emmett had been mauled almost beyond recognition when Rosalie rescued him."

"Maybe the mind is different," I suggested. "I don't even want to consider Edward being guilty, but the truth is, none of you have flushed out this other male vampire. Maybe you just didn't see that it was Edward when you had the vision of Lauren," I told Alice, though I was none too happy to say it out loud.

"I don't know," Alice mused, her forehead scrunched into a V. "It's true that sometimes human memories are lost when you become a vampire. I don't remember a thing about my time in the asylum, and that's fine with me. If I was insane as a human, the conversion cured me. No comments from the peanut gallery," she added as she shot a warning look to grinning Jasper. "Maybe it's a blessing that Edward doesn't remember what happened. Kind of like you, Bella, before your memories came back."

"Ignorance isn't always bliss," I disagreed. "I'm glad I'm not in the dark anymore. And I think Edward would be better off if he knew how he got this way. As it is, I can tell that it kills him that I doubt him. But the thing is, I trust him completely either way. I know he would never turn on me or hurt me. I wish he would understand that," I lamented. I looked at Alice and Jasper anxiously, hoping they could somehow reassure me and make the lead balloon in my stomach go away. Alice's attempt was half-hearted at best.

"He just needs some time to digest everything," she said. "Having you doubt him is probably the worst thing that could happen to him, Bella." The look on my face must have been alarming, because she quickly added, "We're going to figure this out, don't worry. Something's going to happen soon, I can feel it." I wished she looked a little happier about that prediction. The tension emanating from her and Jasper was palpable despite their outwardly reassuring smiles.

"Well, I'm going to go see him tonight at Jake's. Will he be there?" I asked them. Jasper nodded and replied that Edward was working every night this week since Emmett had covered for him all weekend. I was unhappy, though not surprised, at this news. I already missed Edward terribly, and it had been less than 24 hours since we parted. Watching him walk away from my door last night was like having a limb forcibly removed, he took so much of me with him. He tried to hide his hurt and disillusionment from me, but it showed in his watery blue-green eyes as he kissed me good-bye. I felt the pain as surely as if it were my own, especially since I was the one who had inflicted it upon him. I had to make him understand that it didn't matter to me what he had or hadn't done. I would never abandon or betray him.

I labored through the rest of the day at school, barely paying attention in any of my classes. Between the shock of the killings over the weekend and our upcoming Thanksgiving break, most of the kids seemed as distracted as I was. But my thoughts were consumed with nothing but my weekend with Edward. I felt completely changed in every way from the girl I was two days ago. He sparked emotions and desires within me that were more intense than I ever dreamed I was capable of feeling. He brought out things in me that no one else ever had, or could. I had never felt more alive than the moment that Edward and I came together on the couch, our bodies shuddering together in complete, unbridled passion. He made me feel all the things I read in romance novels…things I thought were impossible fantasies. He was my fantasy come to life. And who was ever lucky enough to experience such a thing?

I was. And I wasn't about to let it go. I could feel Edward pulling away, and I couldn't allow it to happen. As soon as I finished my shift at Newton's and wolfed down some dinner at Charlie's, I would go see Edward and convince him that my faith in him was unshakeable.

The two hours I spent at the sporting goods store were unremarkable and interminable. Newton's was slow on a Monday, and I was working by myself for the next couple of nights, since Mike had filled in for me all weekend. I spent the time daydreaming of the day I first met Edward here-or at least, I had thought so at the time. I relished the memory of the first time I saw his face, smiling down at me from across a packing box; the first time I heard his velvety voice ask me if I was okay. It seemed so long ago, even though mere weeks had passed. I should have known from the moment I saw him that he would change my life forever; and in fact, he already had. I think, on some level, that I did know. Subconsciously, I had to have been aware that this being had already impacted my life completely, even if my conscious couldn't yet connect the dots.

Charlie surprised me by having dinner on the stove when I got home from work. Of course, it was Hamburger Helper, but that was fine with me. I would have made something quick and easy myself. I couldn't wait to head over to Jake's and smooth things over with Edward.

Charlie, however, was in an uncharacteristically chatty mood. He asked again how my weekend at the Cullen house was, forcing me to blush and lie my way around my trip out of state. I did tell Charlie that Edward had gone to Iowa in search of some information about his family, hoping that would throw suspicion off of him concerning Lauren's death. Charlie said the police still weren't sure what to make of the recent rash of killings around the Olympia Forest, but had teams out patrolling, looking for a rabid wolf or bear as the culprit. I tried not to sound too relieved, and expressed concern for the victims' families instead. Lauren's memorial service was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon, since school got out early for Thanksgiving break and students would be able to attend.

"Bells, about Thanksgiving," Charlie began, his tone of voice making me instantly suspicious.

"Don't worry, Dad, I can cook a turkey," I informed him. "Mom never could get the hang of it. I've been doing it the past few years."

"I'm sure you make a fine Thanksgiving dinner, honey. That's not what I was getting at. Your mom called yesterday. She'd really like you to come spend Thanksgiving weekend with her and Phil in Jacksonville."

My stomach dropped instantly. "But Dad, that would leave you here alone," I protested. The truth was, the thought of being away from Edward for even a few days made my insides quiver uncomfortably.

"I'll be fine, Bella," Charlie assured me. "I've got plenty of work to keep me busy here for the weekend. And I have a standing invitation to have Thanksgiving dinner with the Blacks on the reservation-I've been doing that for years." He sighed for a moment, and his eyes were troubled. "The truth is, I'd feel a lot better if you were away from here until we catch the thing that's on the loose out there. I know the odds of it attacking the same person twice are slim, but…." he trailed off and shrugged. "I just think you ought to consider it. Your mom misses you."

Wow, Renee must have really done a number on Charlie. I did feel guilty for neglecting to call and email her as often as I should. She had always been my best friend, but since I'd met Edward, I had confided in her less and less. It was just easier not having to explain too much about him to anyone. Omitting huge hunks of the truth felt like lies to me, and the less I was forced to do it, the better.

"Can I think about it, Dad?" I asked.

"Sure, Bells," he agreed. "I've got the reservations booked for your flight, if you decide to go. But you can always cancel. I'd be happy to have you here, if that's what you want." He would never say it, but I was pretty sure Charlie would love to have me spend a holiday with him, since it had happened so seldom in the past few years.

"Okay," I replied. "I'll call Mom tonight and talk to her about it. But I need to go see Edward at Jake's first, if that's okay."

"That's fine. Just don't be too late. It's still a school night," he reminded me.

I agreed that I wouldn't stay out late, then helped him clean up the dishes before heading to my room to get ready. I brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair and slapped on some lip balm, wondering why I was so nervous to go see Edward. Edward, who had witnessed my bed-head and morning breath; who had examined every inch of me naked and dripping wet in the shower. What did it matter how I appeared now? And yet I still wanted to look my best for him, even though my best could never match his effortless beauty. He was out of my league in every way; and yet, he still wanted me. At least I hoped he did, after last night.

My nervousness only mounted as I drove to Jake's, and I was nearly shaking when I pushed open the front door. I barely noticed the meager Monday night crowd, my eyes shooting straight to the bar. As soon as I caught a glimpse of Edward, my heart swelled and I breathed a sigh of relief. He still stunned me senseless every time I saw him after being away. He was filling a glass for a customer sitting across from him, but as soon as I walked in, his eyes shifted to mine. My scent was probably the first thing that alerted him to my presence. I still wondered how he managed to ignore the thirst that it probably caused him. I couldn't blame him if he lost control at some point, and gave in to the craving for human blood. He was fighting his true nature at every turn. I didn't know how he, or any of the Cullens, managed to continually ignore it.

His smile was wary as I approached, though he still looked mostly happy to see me. I sat on a lonely stool at the far end of the bar, and appreciated Edward's lithe saunter as he came to meet me.

"I missed you," he purred softly as he bent over, his face close to mine.

"I barely got through the day," I answered truthfully, leaning toward him. He lowered his head to kiss my forehead; I moved my face up so that he found my lips instead. Our kiss was soft and languid, and he finally pulled away with a sigh, his sweet breath tantalizing my nose. I hated that we were in public right now, because every cell of my being wanted to do things with him that were appropriate only in private.

"How was school?" he questioned me, leaning on his elbows over the bar so that his face was at my level.

"Long. Boring. Pointless," I sighed. "What did you do all day?"

His eyes were troubled. "Patrolled the woods. I caught a faint whiff of vampire scent, but never saw any signs of them. I wish they'd just come out in the open already and tell me what they want."

"I'm sorry," I replied, putting my hand on his arm. I loved the feel of the soft hair covering his impossibly smooth, hard skin. "I know you want to figure this out. So do I." I took a deep breath, then began my apology. "Edward, about last night. I'm so sorry I suggested that you could be behind any of the killings. It was a crazy idea. I don't know why I would believe a stupid dream I had, instead of believing you. Please… please, forgive me," I begged.

He stood upright as I spoke, pulling away from me. "There's nothing to forgive," he said quietly. "You have every right not to trust me. Trust needs to be earned, and I lied to you for weeks. I can't expect you to forget that in a few short days."

I shook my head, dismayed at his thought process. "No, you don't understand. I do trust you. I trust you with my life, I swear. Even if you had been guilty of killing someone, it wouldn't matter to me. It would be completely understandable. It's amazing to me that you've been able to avoid it so far, and that you managed to stop yourself before you killed me. You are stronger than anyone I've ever known. No one has a better heart and soul than you do."

Edward snorted derisively and took another step back from me. "I don't have a soul, Bella. And the only reason I have a heartbeat is because I stole it from you."

"That's not true. And even if it is, I don't care. I'm glad you took it from me. I don't want it without you anyway," I said desperately.

Edward's expression was pained. "I wish…" he began haltingly. "Sometimes I wish you didn't love me," he whispered. "You would be so much better off if you didn't."

"Stop it, Edward. You're scaring me," I replied, my voice trembling. "It's too late to change everything that's happened between us. I don't regret anything with you…especially not this past weekend," I said softly. "Please tell me you don't, either."

His crooked half-grin was bittersweet. "The past few days were the best thing that's ever happened to me. _You_ are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I just wish I could return the favor."

I sighed heavily in frustration. "You have, and then some. My life wasn't so great before I met you, you know. It was like 'The Wizard of Oz' movie…all gray tones, no color, no excitement. You're the person who made it all Technicolor and brought it to life. I could never go back to the way things were. I wouldn't want to."

Edward laughed a little at my analogy, but his face grew grim again. "I still think you don't need the kind of excitement that involves vampires and near-death experiences, Bella. I wish you weren't in the middle of this mess. I'm worried about you. I don't know how well I can protect you."

"Well, I'm not convinced I need your protection from anything, but you might get your wish, for a few days, anyway. My mom wants me to visit her in Florida this weekend for Thanksgiving," I grumbled.

"Wow, is Thanksgiving this week already? I guess when you can't eat, those kinds of holidays lose their significance," he joked darkly. Then he grew serious. "Going to see your mom isn't a bad idea, you know. It might be better if you weren't around when all of this goes down."

"You sound just like Charlie," I sighed dejectedly. "What's 'going down,' anyway? Is there something you and Alice aren't telling me?" I demanded worriedly.

"No, not really. That's the problem. None of us can get a handle on what these nomads want. But Alice senses something's happening soon, and I feel it too. She's seen the female confronting me. We just don't know when, how or why," Edward murmured.

My eyes widened in shock. "Alice has seen you talking to her?" For some reason, a paroxysm of fear seized me. I knew that Edward was itching for a resolution to all of this, but I had a sick feeling that everything would change once he got his answers.

Edward nodded. "I don't want you to worry, Bella. I can handle myself, you know. And if it comes down to a contest between one or two vampires and the entire Cullen clan, you know who's going to win, right?" He reached out and gently stroked my cheek. "I think it's a good idea for you to go to Florida for a few days. Maybe when you get back, everything will be resolved and you won't have to worry anymore. At least, not about any vampires other than the Cullens."

"Stop it," I ordered. "I don't want to leave. I'll miss you too much." I felt like a pouting child as I said it.

"Not half as much as I'll miss you," he claimed. "I don't even remember a life without you at the center of it. I won't know what to do with myself when you're gone."

I was about to reply when a sharp voice carried across the bar. "We need another pitcher over here!" barked a gruff baritone. We both looked over to see bar owner Billy Black and a couple of his buddies from the Quileute reservation seated near the pool tables.

"Well, I guess there's my answer," Edward told me with a smile. "I'll work a lot while you're away." He strode off to fill a pitcher and take it to the table. Billy's deep-set eyes settled on me, and he motioned for me to come over. I hopped off the bar stool and followed Edward to their table as he set a fresh pitcher down.

"Bella Swan!" Billy remarked, sticking out his hand in greeting. My hand was swallowed in his beefy dark one as he gave it a hearty shake. "It's good to finally see you. Your dad has been a different man since you came to live with him. It's done him a world of good, you being here," he smiled. My face must have registered a little confusion, because he added, "You do remember me, right? Billy Black, an old friend of your dad's. You used to play with my son on the reservation when you visited Forks as a kid."

"Yeah, sure, I remember," I told him, a vague recollection of gathering seashells with a long-haired native boy crossing my mind. "Jacob, right? So you named the bar after him," I noted.

"That I did. My youngest, and my only son," Billy beamed. "Why don't you have a seat, Bella? I'd like to talk to you for a moment."

"Sure," I agreed, pulling out a chair. Billy and Edward exchanged an odd look, and Edward headed back to the bar. Like mine, Billy's eyes followed Edward for a moment before he turned his wheelchair toward me.

"So you and this latest addition to the Cullen clan seem close," he stated. His tone of voice was hard to read, but it sounded a bit disapproving.

"Yeah, we are," I admitted cautiously. "I guess you could say we're dating."

Billy definitely looked a little perturbed by this. "How much do you know about the Cullens?" he asked after a long pause.

My heart fluttered nervously. "Well, they seem like good people. Carlisle saved my life, and I'll always be grateful to him for that. They've been really good to me, and to Edward. He had no one when they took him in."

Billy's shrewd eyes narrowed. "Yes, they have proven to be an asset to Forks, so far," he said in a tone that indicated it pained him to admit it. "Their clan caused some trouble for my people at one time, but that was long ago. Land disputes…that kind of thing," he said, seeming to choose his words carefully. "A treaty was struck: they agreed to keep off of our lands, and we agreed to let them co-exist peacefully alongside us." He paused again, reading my face. I wondered what he saw there. I felt mild panic growing inside. I had the feeling that Billy Black, and his people, knew exactly what the Cullens really were. Was he trying to figure out if I knew it too?

"So, that seems to be working out okay, then?" I asked timidly.

"So far, so good," Billy replied. "But it seems like ever since Edward showed up, there have been a rash of murders around this area. It makes the Quileutes…nervous. And it makes me glad I sent Jacob away to school this year, though it pained me to do it. I was proud to have him to go school on the reservation, like my daughters did. But when the Cullens returned, I smelled trouble brewing. I didn't want him involved in any skirmishes that might arise. It turns out I was right to send him away."

I swallowed nervously. "You don't think Edward's responsible for the deaths, do you?" I asked. "Haven't they proven that a human couldn't have killed those people?"

Billy's eyes bored knowingly into mine. "Yes, that's exactly right, Bella. No _human_ could have done this." My heart thumped erratically in my chest. Billy knew, and Billy suspected the worst. Surely he wouldn't say anything to Charlie, would he?

"You're wrong about Edward," I insisted feebly.

Billy studied me carefully. "Maybe," he said at last. "I hope so. I just want you to be careful, Bella. You mean the world to your father, and he's a good friend of mine. Don't do anything foolish. Sometimes the heart leads the mind down an unwise path. Don't let that happen to you."

I let out a ragged breath. "You don't need to worry, Billy. I'm leaving town for a few days, to go visit my mom. I think Dad's going to take you up on your offer for Thanksgiving dinner."

Billy looked slightly relieved. "That's good news. Your dad will miss you, but I think it's better this way, don't you?" he asked pointedly.

I nodded slightly, beginning to feel like all of this was a conspiracy to get me out of the way this weekend before something horrible happened. But how was I supposed to stop worrying about Edward during my exile? My eyes drifted back to the bar, and I caught him staring at us before turning his attention back to his work. I knew he had heard our conversation with his preternatural ears, or through Billy's thoughts. I excused myself from Billy and returned to the bar.

"He's right, you know. You should follow your head instead of your heart," Edward said glumly, pushing a soda toward me that he had poured when he saw me coming.

"Billy's not right about you, Edward," I argued, determined to make him understand that I trusted him no matter what. I took a sip of the soda, though I wasn't thirsty.

"You sure about that?" Edward countered. I hated that I had made him doubt me, and worse yet, doubt himself. In truth, there was still a tiny part of me that wondered if Edward's amnesia was actually a form of self-defense, keeping him from knowing what he was really capable of. I couldn't entirely erase the idea that Edward might be guilty of killing Lauren and just didn't know it. But, awful as I felt admitting it to myself, it simply didn't matter to me whether or not he had done it. And I had to make Edward understand that.

I grabbed his hand and held it tightly. "I'm sure," I insisted, my eyes entreating his. "I believe in you. I love you," I concluded softly.

Edward smiled wanly. I could see that he remained unconvinced, and it made me want to scream. "I love you, too," he replied, and at least that much I believed.

Before I could respond, another patron across the room called out to Edward for a refill.

"You should get home soon," he advised, touching my face all-too briefly.

"I'll come back tomorrow night. I want to see you before I go to Mom's," I said, a pang of regret in my voice at the thought of leaving him.

He nodded and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before turning to the array of beer taps behind the bar. I felt dismissed. I hated what was happening between us, and I didn't know how to stop it.

I begrudgingly headed back to Charlie's, knowing I needed to call Renee and make arrangements for the weekend. I tried to sound excited about the trip, but Mom knew me too well. I finally had to cave and tell her that Edward and I had hit a snag in our relationship. Even though I had to leave out most of the details, just admitting it to someone else made me feel a bit better. Renee had always been a better friend than mom, and if there was one thing she was good at, it was giving advice about boys. Like everyone else, she thought that getting away for a few days might help both Edward and me see things in a different light. I hoped she was right, because I could feel only dread at the thought of leaving.

I half-heartedly packed a few things before bed, wishing I could call Edward, but knowing he wouldn't be able to talk anyway while he was at work. I slept fitfully that night, dreaming constantly of Edward, only to awake and find my room empty. The next morning I was tired and cranky. Tuesday felt like a repeat of Monday, only more depressing, knowing I would be in Florida by the next evening. Alice and Jasper tried to cheer me up at lunch, without much success. They were sure they would close in on the nomads soon, as Emmett and Rosalie had caught sight of the woman this morning and pursued her north along the river until she once again swam away.

"Maybe you should stop the chase," I suggested. "Maybe you should just let her come here and do whatever it is she wants to do. She might be trying to contact Edward or something. He seems to think they could be the ones who changed him…maybe it would be better to just let them come to us."

Jasper and Alice hedged uneasily. "I suppose you're right," Alice finally conceded, though Jasper looked troubled.

"I have a bad feeling about this," he said. "I've come across her type before…fast, sneaky, secretive. But you may be right; letting her accomplish what she came here for may be the only way to get some answers and rid Forks of her. I just don't want her or her partner killing any other innocents in the process. That's why we need to keep our guard up no matter what."

"Well, you won't need to worry about me, since I'll be on the other side of the country," I moped. "You might as well let this come to a head. But I'll be scared to death for all of you while I'm gone."

Jasper and Alice both laughed at that. "There's seven of us and two of them, Bella," Jasper reminded me. "You don't need to worry about us. The truth is, it'll be a relief to all of us, especially Edward, if we don't have to worry about you getting caught in the crossfire."

"I know," I sighed. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Maybe we should call Emmett and Rosalie and tell them to come home," Alice said to Jasper. "Bella may have a point. We might just be prolonging the inevitable by going on the offensive against the nomads."

Jasper shrugged and begrudgingly agreed. "I always learned that the best defense is a good offense. But I'm willing to back off for a bit. At least here, we're on our own turf."

Alice called her siblings while I made a lackluster attempt at finishing my lunch. The knot of worry in my stomach was only growing. Like Jasper, I had a bad feeling about all of it, and I didn't know how to quell it.

At least Newton's was busier today, and my time spent there after school went by more quickly than the day before. It appeared some out-of-towners were arriving for the Thanksgiving holiday, and some of them seemed to be gearing up for a blustery weekend. I was selling all sorts of outdoor apparel for the colder weather settling in.

The last of the customers had finally filtered out of the store and I was excited to see that it was near closing time. I was anxious to see Edward tonight, and wondered if Charlie would be mad if I picked up some fast food and went straight to Jake's instead of home for dinner. I realized he would probably like to spend some time with me before I left, so I decided to try to cultivate a little patience where seeing Edward was concerned. I had just started to close out the register when the bell signaled someone coming in the front door. I tried to hide my irritation and went to greet the customer with a smile.

A lithe figure strolled toward me, decked out in blue jeans, well-worn hiking boots, a thermal shirt and a funky fur coat hanging loosely over her shoulders. She wore a large pageboy hat pulled down low on her forehead, and her dark eyes shone starkly from her pale skin beneath it.

"Can I help you find something?" I asked her. "Some gloves or something?" I added, noting her bare, lily-white hands.

She appraised me coolly for a moment before speaking. "Sure," she finally replied in a warm, husky voice, a crooked smile twisting her lips. "Gloves would be excellent. And I could probably use a more appropriate hat for the crappy weather around here, don't you think?"

I let out a small laugh. "Well, you've come to the right place. We've got tons of hats and gloves. You might want to get a warmer coat, too," I told her as I led her over to the accessories.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty partial to this one. You could call it a souvenir. It has sentimental meaning." She grinned widely, and the effect was slightly menacing. "I'm pretty used to the cold…it doesn't bother me much."

"I'll never get used to the cold," I muttered, still missing the warm Arizona sun. If it weren't for Edward, I was sure I'd have entirely different feelings about living in Forks.

The woman laughed loudly as if I had said something particularly funny. "That's rich!" she exclaimed. She perused the hats, finally picking up a navy wool cap and maneuvering in front of the full-length mirror. "You of all people ought to be used to cold, I would think. Maybe even relish it."

I stared at her in surprise. What did she mean? She acted as if she knew me, and yet I was sure I had never seen her. Before I could formulate a reply, she pulled her hat off of her head and shook out the long mane of hair she'd had tucked up inside it. I watched in stunned horror as cascades of copper curls spilled down her back. Her black eyes shifted knowingly to mine for a moment, then back to the mirror. She pulled the knit hat over her kinky red hair, smashing it down on top. She made a face at her reflection and said, "This just doesn't suit me at all, does it?" She laughed, a slightly sinister sound, and chills ran down my spine.

I continued to stare, dumbfounded, unable to reply. The redheaded vampire had finally dared to show her face…not to Edward, but to me. And I was the one who had called off the Cullens, allowing her to roam freely around Forks. _God, Alice, please see her here…please come,_ my brain screamed.

"You're awfully quiet," the redhead complained. "Cat got your tongue…Bella?" She made a show of peering at my nametag before she pronounced my name, but something told me that she already knew exactly who I was.

"What do you want?" I whispered hoarsely. I coughed, trying to find my voice again. "It's almost closing time."

"What do I want?" she repeated, making it sound like a statement rather than a question. She turned and took a couple of steps toward me, and my entire body stiffened in fright. She smiled the crooked smile again, and it struck me that she was nearly Edward's female counterpart: bronze-haired and pale-skinned, with a half-smile that spread slowly across her face. Except her smile wasn't pleasant; her expression wasn't gentle. Her eyes were like cold, hard lumps of coal peering out of her chalky face, and her crooked grin resembled a sneer.

"What do I want…." she mused again, eying me up and down. "I guess I want to know, why you? You look pretty ordinary to me. No offense."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I murmured, even though I guessed that she had to be speaking of Edward and his attraction to me. It was a question I'd asked myself a hundred times already.

"Don't you?" she snorted. She stepped closer, leaning her face toward mine. My heart pounded loudly with growing panic, and I was sure her vampire ears were enthralled with the sound. "Edward Masen. Or whatever he's calling himself nowadays."

"What do you want with him?" I asked, partly because I desperately wanted to know, and partly because I was trying to buy more time. She was dangerously close. She could end my life in seconds. _Alice…for the love of God…._

She let out a laugh. "Everything," she said simply.

Suddenly her head whipped toward the door, then back to me. "It seems we're about to have company. Tell your friends I'm sorry I missed them. And tell Edward that his old friend Victoria will be coming to visit him soon. Very soon."

And with that, she raced out the front door so fast that I barely saw the blur as she flew. I had scarcely caught my breath when the door burst back open and another blur approached, sending a wave of terror through me until it stopped before me, revealing itself as none other than Alice.

"Bella, are you okay?" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around me. My body shook with relief as I clutched her wiry frame, knowing that I was safe again. "She was here, wasn't she? I can still smell her," Alice grimaced, pulling away and examining me quickly. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"No," I breathed heavily, trying to gather my wits. "She just wanted to warn me that she's going to go see Edward soon."

Alice's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. "She mentioned him by name? So Edward was right…there is a connection. Or was."

"Apparently," I agreed, biting my lip. "She said she was an 'old friend.' But of course Edward doesn't remember any old friends. I think she must have had a thing for him or something, because it sounded like she was trying to figure out why he was with me."

Alice shot me an inquisitive look, so I repeated Victoria's dialogue to her, word for word. I added that she didn't look anything like the girl I'd seen in pictures with Edward at his house over the weekend. If she had been a part of his past, we had found no evidence of it.

"We need to go warn Edward, although he may have read my mind already," Alice stated.

"Really? But we're miles away from Jake's," I protested.

"I know, but we've been practicing zeroing in on each other's brainwaves, if you want to call it that," Alice said. "He's getting pretty good at picking up my thoughts. We figured it would be to our advantage to try to communicate silently if we can."

"I'm sure you're right," I replied. "But I still think we should go see Edward. I'll call Charlie and tell him I'll be late for dinner."

"Good idea. And if Jasper catches up to her, we might have our answers sooner than we think," Alice said hopefully.

"You mean he's chasing after her right now?"

Alice nodded. "We saw her escaping when we pulled up. She got a pretty good head start, but Jasper's fast. Not as fast as Edward, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed." She stopped and her eyes drifted, evidently focused on a picture in her brain. "She's still in his sights, but he's not any closer to her. We'll see, I guess," she sighed.

I quickly finished closing up Newton's, looking around anxiously as I locked the door behind me. Alice reminded me that she'd know if Victoria was nearby. She made sure I got into Big Red safely and then followed me to Jake's in the Volvo, while I called Charlie to let him know I'd be late. He had just arrived home himself, and asked me to pick up some fast food on the way back. I sighed and agreed, somewhat disappointed that my meeting with Edward would be brief. I really wanted to spend some time with him before I left.

When we walked through the door at Jake's, we didn't have to wonder if Edward had heard Alice's thoughts. He was already halfway to the door, pulling me close in a bear hug before I could even say hello.

"Are you okay?" he whispered hoarsely into my ear, his hand smoothing my hair repeatedly as he rocked me gently in his arms.

"Yes, I'm fine," I assured him. "She never laid a finger on me."

"She won't get a chance to," he spat angrily. "If she comes anywhere near you again, I will end her. That's a promise."

I tried to suppress the tiny thrill that ran through me at his protectiveness. I never felt safer than when I was with Edward.

"So you don't remember a thing about her?" I asked. "The name 'Victoria' doesn't mean anything to you?"

Edward shook his head in frustration. "Not a thing. I'm glad she's finally decided to show her face-I'm ready for some answers. But trying to send a message through you is already a huge strike against her, as far as I'm concerned."

He turned to Alice, and answered the unspoken words in her head. "It doesn't matter if Jasper catches her, though I appreciate the effort. I'm sure she'll find me when she's good and ready. I just hope it's sooner rather than later."

Edward's eyes shifted back to mine, and he stroked the sides of my face gently. "I'm glad you're leaving tomorrow, Bella. I don't want you here with this going on. I'm going to make sure one of us stays outside your house tonight, just to make sure this Victoria doesn't come after you again. And maybe you can convince your dad to let one of us drive you to the airport tomorrow. I don't want you left alone. It's not safe."

I nodded in agreement, though I couldn't help murmuring, "I'll miss you." I hated the thought of leaving his arms, letting alone jetting across the country without him.

"I know," he said quietly. "But it's only a few days. It'll fly by, you'll see." He kissed me tenderly, several baby kisses.

"I want to see you before I leave," I whispered, hoping he would catch my meaning. I wanted to be alone with him desperately, even if all he did was hold me in his arms.

"Don't worry, you will," he replied, his cool breath in my ear sending the tingles I loved so much down my spine. I must have looked doubtful, because he added emphatically, "I promise."

I nodded and slowly, reluctantly pulled away from him. "Charlie's waiting for me to bring home dinner," I sighed. "I should probably go."

"Try to convince him to let Jazz and I take you to the airport tomorrow, okay?" Alice requested. "I agree with Edward; you shouldn't be left unprotected."

Edward thanked Alice, and I said I'd do my best to convince Charlie. Edward walked me out to my truck, peering nervously around for any signs of danger as I unlocked the heavy door and let it swing open.

"I'll come see you in the morning before school, after Charlie leaves," he said, leaning down and giving me a kiss. "And I'm calling the Cullens right now and sending one of them over to your house to watch over you. I won't let anything happen to you or your dad."

"Okay," I agreed. "But I feel kind of guilty making all of you take turns babysitting outside our house all night. How boring for you."

He chuckled and shook his head, nuzzling his nose against mine. "A few hours mean nothing to us. They pass in the blink of an eye." He gave me a soft, lingering kiss. "I'll see you before you know it."

I nodded and got in the truck, starting its noisy, belching engine as Edward shut the door. He scowled and pointed at the lock, which I obediently pushed shut, though I wondered how that would keep any vampire out of the vehicle who really wanted to get in. I watched in the rearview mirror as he grew smaller and smaller; but he never went inside. He watched as I drove all the way down the street until I turned off toward Charlie's.

I stopped by McDonald's and picked up a burger for my dad and a chicken salad for myself, looking around nervously as I sat at the drive-through window. There were no signs of anything unusual going on in the sleepy town of Forks this frigid evening. Of course, I was sure that Lauren had thought the same thing last Thursday night. My head spun as I considered all that had happened in less than a week's time. It already seemed like a dream that I had followed Edward halfway across the country, stayed in his old house, slept with him in his bed and lost my virginity to him. The slight soreness that remained between my legs was the only reminder that all of it was real. I relished the memory of that exquisite blend of pleasure and pain I felt every time Edward pushed into me…that first stab of discomfort that somehow transformed to complete ecstasy by the time he was finished. He was right-it was the closest we would ever come to the union we had achieved when we were sharing our blood. In some ways, it was better. The feel of his body joined so wholly with mine was something I would never get over, or get enough of.

The drive-through attendant handed me a large greasy paper bag, snapping me out of my reverie. I drove back to Charlie's and pulled up in the drive, only to see Rosalie, of all vampires, sitting on the steps outside.

"Hey," I said sheepishly as I walked toward the door. "Thanks for doing this for us."

Rosalie gave me a dull stare. "I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for Edward. Frankly, I don't think you two are good for each other, and everything that's happening right now just proves my point. But as long as he cares about you this much, then I care."

I nodded, slightly embarrassed at how put-out she looked. "Well, I appreciate what you're doing, either way. I'll be gone tomorrow so you won't have to worry about me for a few days."

Rosalie just looked at me as I tiptoed around her and up to the door.

"Bella," her voice sounded behind me. I turned and looked into her crystalline blue eyes. "I don't dislike you, you know. I just don't agree with the choice you've made. If I had had any say in what happened to me, this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. Do you understand that?"

I nodded again. "Edward told me a little about what happened to you…how you were turned," I admitted. "I understand why you think I'm doing the wrong thing. But I can't imagine my life without Edward in it. It's too late to turn back now. I don't want to."

Rosalie sighed. "Just think carefully about what you're giving up, Bella. That's all I'm suggesting." She looked at the McDonald's bag in my hand and said, "You'd better go inside. I'm sure your father is hungry."

"Thanks, Rosalie. For everything. It means a lot to me."

She shrugged and settled back on the steps. "I kind of hope that bitch tries something. She doesn't know who she's messing with if she crosses me," she said balefully.

I tried to imagine Rosalie and Victoria facing off against one another, and the thought gave me chills. I couldn't decide who would come out on top in that contest. The thought of any of the Cullens being in danger, even Rosalie, made me queasy.

I pushed those thoughts aside long enough to ingest my salad and have a nice dinner with Charlie. I wondered how I would convince him to let the Cullens take me to Seattle the next day, and decided that playing up the positives would be my only hope.

"Hey, Dad, good news," I began in an upbeat tone, hoping he'd fall for it. "Alice Cullen offered to drive me to the airport tomorrow so you won't have to take time off from work and make a special trip."

Charlie looked at me in surprise as he set down his Big Mac. "Well, that's nice of her, but I don't mind driving my baby girl to the airport. I think the station can live without me for an afternoon."

_Crap. _I tried to regroup. "Oh, I know that. But we were going to try to go to at least part of Lauren's memorial service first, then take off from there. I just figured you'd want to get some work done on these murder cases so you don't have to work overtime during the holiday. You need a break, Dad," I added earnestly. "I know you probably spent the whole weekend at the police station."

He looked a little puzzled, but finally conceded. "Well, if that's what you want, Bells. I suppose the drive to Seattle is more fun with your friends instead of your boring old dad."

_Oh, geezus. Guilt. _"You know it's not that, Dad. If it means that much to you, you can take me, it's fine."

Charlie shook his head and grumbled, "No, no, you can go with Alice. Just let me be the one to pick you up on Sunday, okay? It'll be pretty quiet around here without you. Not that you make that much noise, but…I'm kind of used to having you around now."

I smiled and replied, "I know what you mean, Dad. I like living here with you, too. And of course I want you to pick me up on Sunday. You have my flight itinerary, right?"

He answered that he had my flight schedule in his desk, and I'd better call him as soon as I arrived at Renee's, or sooner if I ran into any trouble. I assured him I would, then excused myself to go and finish packing. I tried to do a little homework before bed, but concentration was impossible. I couldn't stop reliving the moment that Victoria shook out her blazing red curls and gave me that goading look in the mirror. And the sound of her voice as she said Edward's name…possessive, as if she owned him somehow. I was scared to death of her being anywhere near him, but knew that it was the only way for him to get to the bottom of the mysteries that had been plaguing him for nearly two months now.

I re-read my favorite novel, _Wuthering Heights_, as I lay in bed, vainly hoping for sleep to come. I didn't remember losing consciousness, but I must have; for I awoke some time later in darkness, my bedside lamp shut off, my book on the bed stand. A delectable smell surrounded me…a scent I knew very well.

"Edward?" I murmured sleepily, reaching out for him instinctively even though I knew I must be dreaming.

"I'm here, Bella," came his melodious voice, like whispering silk in my ear. I felt his unmistakably cool breath on my cheek. My searching arms found his rock-solid form next to me, lying on top of the bed covers. My eyes opened wide in surprise, and were greeted by his heavenly face close to mine, his eyes intense as he gazed down at me. He was propped up on one elbow, his head resting in his hand, his other arm encircling my waist.

"You're really here," I whispered in wonder.

He nodded and reached up to gently stroke my face. His expression was so serious that my first reaction was panic.

"Did something happen? Did Victoria come see you?"

His lip twitched a bit, and his eyes fell. "Everything's fine, Bella. I don't want you to worry."

I stared at him for a moment, realizing that my panic was justified. "You didn't answer my question. Something happened. Please tell me what's going on."

His face was twisted with poorly concealed anxiety, and pain filled his eyes. "You're right. She did come to see me. But it's not what we feared. There was never anything between us. She had a crush on me when I was human, that's all. She wants something from me that I can never give her. It's nothing for you to be concerned about, really."

I gaped at him in disbelief. Was he really trying to convince me that Victoria had caused all this trouble over some unrequited crush? That didn't even make sense. It had to be more than that.

"You're lying," I accused him flatly. He flinched slightly, and I knew that I was right. "You're not telling me everything."

He sighed heavily and his eyes pleaded with mine. "Please…there's nothing for you to worry about. You know that I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, don't you?"

I searched his face and was devastated at what I saw there. I couldn't believe that after all we'd just been through, he would purposely deceive me again; but I was positive he was doing just that right now. He was keeping something from me, and as I looked at his stricken but resolute face, my stomach sank. I sensed that no amount of begging would sway him.

I reached out and brushed his beautiful, stone-cold cheek with the tips of my fingers. "I know you'll always protect me," I agreed softly. "But at what cost?"

Even in the dark, I could see that Edward's eyes were filling with the deep scarlet tears that had shocked me so thoroughly the first time I'd seen them. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, as if to blink them back.

"Please, Bella. I don't want to talk about this." His voice was broken, and the sound of it frightened me more than Victoria's threats ever could. "Try to get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. I plan to hold you just like this, the rest of the night." His eyes closed, his arm tightened around me, and he buried his face in my neck, breathing in deeply. I knew he couldn't sleep, yet his eyes remained shut, effectively ending our discussion.

"I wish you would trust me," I whispered anyway. I didn't know why this always seemed to be the issue between us.

"It's not about trust," Edward replied. After a moment of silence, I knew that this was all the answer I would receive. I sighed in resignation. I tried to calm my fears and concentrate on the feel of him in my arms, his soft bronze hair tickling my nose, his chest slowly rising and falling under my arm. I dozed fitfully for awhile, thrilled to find him holding me close every time I awoke. Finally dawn crept around the edges of the windows, and I gave up on the effort. Edward's eyes were soft, blue pools in the early morning light, his long lashes unblinking as he gazed at me.

"I wish you'd always be here when I wake up," I sighed.

"So do I." His voice was like a ghost. It matched his haunted face. A chill ran through me, and I slowly pulled myself away from his embrace.

"I need to take a shower," I explained. "Please don't go anywhere."

He shook his head. "I won't."

It took every ounce of will I had to leave him in my room and run next door to the bathroom long enough to bathe and brush my teeth. I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I'd better work fast or Edward would be gone.

I leapt quickly out into the hallway in my bathrobe and ran smack into Charlie, who was on his way to shower as well. "Meet you downstairs for breakfast," he mumbled. I smiled with fake cheer, then groaned as soon as he was out of earshot.

Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed when I entered my room. He looked like a marble statue in the dull gray morning light; beautiful, unmoving, cold. His vacant stare dissipated as he caught sight of me, and a half-smile pulled at his stone lips.

"Charlie wants to have breakfast," I sighed in vexation. "Please tell me you'll stay until he leaves for work." My eyes searched his hopefully.

"Of course," he answered quietly. "Where else would I go?" He let out a small, mirthless laugh.

My brow furrowed worriedly. "I love you," I reminded him quietly, leaning down and pressing my lips to his. His kiss in return was short, chaste.

It was all I could do to squelch the sick feeling that seized my stomach as I fixed Charlie eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast. I nearly put my fingers through the egg shells when a fit of trembling seized me. I had a horrible feeling that something had changed irrevocably between Edward and I, and it had everything to do with whatever had transpired between him and Victoria last night. I was afraid that Edward would never reveal the truth to me, and even more afraid of what that truth might be.

I faked my way admirably through breakfast with Charlie, talking and laughing in all the right spots. I agreed to call him immediately when I got to Jacksonville that evening, or sooner, if I still needed a ride to the airport. I assured him everything would be fine, even submitting to an awkward hug, as Charlie wasn't the most physically demonstrative person in the world. As soon as I heard the police cruiser crunch through the gravel drive to the street, I bounded up the stairs and into my bedroom, then stopped short.

Edward hadn't moved. The beautiful sculpture remained on the side of my bed exactly as I had left it, its impassive expression intact. I approached him slowly, suddenly afraid again. He looked up at me as I got closer, his eyes finally meeting mine.

"How was breakfast?" he asked mechanically.

"I have no idea. I couldn't taste a thing." My body began to quake. "You're scaring me, Edward."

His face twisted with sudden pain. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't mean to. I don't want you to be afraid of anything, especially not me. Never again."

And with that, he pulled me to him, burying his face in my terry cloth robe. His hands were firm on my hips, rubbing the fabric gently up and down as he nuzzled my stomach. He held me this way for a prolonged moment, and my fingers threaded through his thick hair, massaging his scalp. The muscles on his neck were taut, and I could feel the tension seething within him. He let out a low, muffled cry into the terry cloth; a frustrated, desperate sound. Then he pulled on the sides of my robe, unraveling the loosely tied belt and letting the garment fall open. He kissed my naked stomach as he slid his hands underneath the robe and over my bare hips, squeezing them gently as he continued to moan softly, his breath tickling my belly. Then his lips and tongue were on me, roaming up and down my torso, tasting me, as his hands wandered freely everywhere they could touch. Goosebumps rose on every inch of my skin and I buried my fingers in his hair, then ran them down the hard muscles of his neck and shoulders.

He let out a guttural groan, and with one impossibly swift yet gentle movement, he pushed me back on the bed, causing my robe to fall open completely. His eyes raked over me, burning with need, and he didn't bother hiding his vampire speed as he pulled his clothes off and lowered himself over me. He nudged my thighs apart with one ivory knee; they opened freely for him, waiting for him. He pushed them open wide with his hips, rubbing his hardening cock up and down against the slick, wet flesh of my opening.

"You are all I've ever wanted, all I'll ever want in this world," he whispered, his eyes fierce and raw as he looked down into mine. "Know that, Bella. Never forget."

And then he plunged inside me, pushing a loud cry out of my throat. I grasped his shoulders as he thrust inside me again, hanging on to him as his body pushed roughly against mine. I had always been cognizant of the fact that he held back with me; that he tried hard not to get too carried away and accidentally hurt me with his impossibly easy strength. I could see the effort on his face now, hear it in his strained moans as he pumped in and out of me. Yet every thrust felt impossibly deep and hard to my human form; each one made me gasp and moan at the intense sensations that vibrated through my very core. I had never wanted to be immortal as much as I did right now, so that he could make love to me with complete, fearless abandon. I wanted him to be able to lose himself in lust and simply fuck me senseless until we both came so hard that our bodies quaked uncontrollably from the passion. I would give anything to be able to take whatever he could give me.

He lowered himself so that his weight rested on his forearms, his body pressed against mine. The pressure of his hard belly pushing against mine on the outside, while his stiff cock rammed me on the inside, sparked the now-familiar fire that began spreading through my belly.

"God, Edward, yes," was all I could manage to utter, my limbs wrapped tight around him as he pushed me to the brink.

His hands were in my hair, his eyes smoky with passion, as he began showering my face with kisses. "I love you, Bella. More than my life. You are all that matters," he gasped. Then he pumped into me faster, sending me over the edge. I cried out mindlessly with pleasure as the orgasm shook me, my muscles squeezing his cock so hard that he groaned loudly, his eyes closing, his brows furrowed in ecstasy. And then I felt the glorious explosion of him coming inside me, his cries sounding almost like sobs as his body convulsed. His sweet breath cooled my face as his shallow panting slowly subsided. I reached up and ran my hands over his damp skin, kissing his face and neck. There was nothing like this moment…the peaceful calm that came over me right afterward. The nerves continued to twitch deep inside me, and on his member as well. It was as if the electrical charge between us continued to crackle and sputter after the violent surge had died down. There was no breaking the current between us anymore.

We said nothing for an immeasurable moment, simply gazing into each other's eyes. I had lost all sense of time and place. There was nothing but Edward. Nothing else mattered.

He was the first to break the spell. His eyes drifted to the clock on my bed stand, and his velvet voice whispered, "You'd better get ready for school."

To my dismay, he pulled himself away, got up and reached for the clothes that he'd tossed carelessly to the floor. I watched him dress quickly, stunned at how distant he suddenly felt. The thought of leaving him and going to school sickened me. Everything felt horribly wrong.

I reluctantly pulled my bathrobe closed as I got up from the bed and headed for the closet. I found a pair of clean jeans, then rifled through my dresser drawers for a sweater and clean underwear. Edward sat back down on the bed and watched me. He never took his eyes off of me as I dressed. The feel of them appraising me as I pulled on my clothes only made me want him to undress me and take me again.

"You're beautiful," he said simply as I straightened my sweater. I gazed at him for a moment, wishing I could read him better. The love in his eyes was nearly swallowed by the smooth mask of his expressionless features. I was suddenly, irrationally terrified that when I came back from Florida, he would be gone.

I brushed my still-damp hair into some semblance of a hair-do, knowing that I had no time to dry or style it. I made sure all my toiletries were in my suitcase before zipping it up, then put all of my school books into my backpack. I was hyper-aware of Edward's penetrating stare on me the entire time.

When it was clear I was ready, he rose effortlessly from the bed, then helped me pull the sheets and covers straight. He picked up both my suitcase and backpack and carried them down the stairs with him, leaving me to simply grab my keys and lock the door behind us on the way out. He put my things in the back of the truck, then held his hand out for my keys.

"You're driving?" I asked warily.

He grinned, revealing a glimpse of the Edward I knew and loved. "You want to get there on time, don't you?"

"I don't really care, actually," I shrugged. "Just be gentle…Big Red isn't used to going over 40 miles per hour."

He laughed and held the passenger door open for me, then got behind the wheel and started the loudly protesting engine. "We have got to get you a more reliable set of wheels," he sighed, sounding the most like himself that I'd heard him in the past 24 hours. I was encouraged by his words and his crooked grin, and felt myself relax a little as he gunned the motor and peeled out of the driveway like a maniac. For once, his crazy driving brought me relief instead of anxiety as he plowed through the streets of Forks to the high school. We arrived just as the first bell was ringing. Edward was out the door and handing me my backpack before I could get one foot on the ground.

"Wait for Alice and Jasper this afternoon, okay? I want them to follow you to the memorial service. Then they can take you home to drop off your truck," Edward ordered. I wondered if it was normal, or advisable, to enjoy his bossiness so much.

I nodded obediently, then whispered, "I'll miss you."

His brow furrowed slightly. He nodded and said, "You'll be late."

My eyes fell when it looked as if he wasn't even going to kiss me good-bye. I turned to leave, when I felt his hands on my face, turning it up to his. His mouth covered mine instantly, passionately; his kiss intense and longing. I responded in kind, thrilling to the contact as I always did.

And then he ended it as quickly as it began. "I love you," he whispered. His eyes were pained, and I shivered again.

"I love you," I answered. "Four days. That's all. Four days."

My assurance didn't erase the tension from his face, and his crooked grin was half-hearted at best. Turning and walking away from him was the hardest thing I'd ever done. My feet felt like they were slogging through quicksand as I made my way to the school. I still felt his gaze on me, and when I got to the door of the building, I looked back. He hadn't moved. He was still staring after me. The second bell rang and I jumped, then reached for the door. When I looked back, he had vanished.

The morning was endless; concentration impossible. Under any other circumstances, I would be excited to see Mom again. But my trip felt like a dark cloud hanging over my head instead of a nice respite from the craziness that my life had been the past week.

I met Alice and Jasper for lunch, half-heartedly downing a sandwich and chips. School was letting out shortly after the next period, and Alice thought we might have time to go to part of Lauren's service at the church, though we'd have to leave by 2 p.m. to get to Seattle on time. Between my layovers and the time difference, it would actually be early Thursday morning when Renee and Phil picked me up from the airport. I hoped I would be able to get some sleep during the flights.

It was a relief when the bell signaled the end of biology. I headed immediately for my truck, planning to follow Alice and Jasper to the church. I opened the door and threw my backpack on the passenger seat, then climbed up into the cab. As soon as I shut the door, my neck was suddenly jerked sideways, and something that felt like cold steel clamped over my mouth. My muffled scream was cut short as the hand over my lips pressed tighter, and a voice whispered in my ear, "Make one more sound and I will kill you."

My heart thrashed wildly in my chest and my eyes shifted to the right, trying to see the identity of my attacker. I looked down at blue-jean covered thighs and a dark blue coat, almost identical to Edward's. But this most certainly wasn't him. The legs were shorter, more thickly muscled. And the voice in my ear, though lilting like Edward's, had a less elegant, more bland timbre. Almost an ordinary human sound. But I knew immediately that the being whose face hovered too close for me to get a clear look was not human.

"Now," he began smoothly, calmly. "I am going to take my hand off of your mouth, and you are not going to scream. You are not going to breathe one word. If you do, I will kill you. Do you understand?"

I nodded quickly, understanding all too well. How could I have ever doubted Edward? Victoria wasn't working alone. And seated next to me was, most assuredly, Lauren's killer. I tried not to hyperventilate as his hand slowly dropped away from my mouth. I gasped and trembled violently, but remained silent.

"Good! Very good," he complimented me in his unremarkable tone. "Your friends are coming; you need to stop them. I want you to roll down the window, smile, and tell them you'll meet them at the church shortly. And you will be convincing, or you will be dead."

Sure enough, Jasper and Alice appeared in my rearview mirror, headed for Big Red. My captor scooted down on the floor of the truck, grasping my knee firmly in his iron fist as a reminder of what he could do to me in seconds. I desperately tried to think of something to say that would ward them off. As they approached, I rolled down the window and tried to slow my breathing to a normal pace. One look at the black, menacing eyes that peered up at me from the floor of my truck was enough to tell me that my life depended on this.

"Hey guys," I called out the window, my voice sounding remarkably normal, even to my own traumatized ears. "I need to make a quick call to Charlie." I grabbed my backpack, looking down at the vampire below as I fished for my cell phone. He seemed to comprehend what I was doing and gave me a quick nod. I waved the phone at Alice and Jasper, then said, "You guys go ahead to the church, I'll be right behind you." I noticed Mike getting in his car nearby and gestured toward him. "I'll follow Mike."

Jasper and Alice both frowned a little, so I opened my phone and made a show of dialing, though I pressed the Stop button before the call ever went through. I pretended to start a conversation with my father, while Alice and Jasper shrugged a little and Alice called, "Okay," as they headed for their car. _Please, Alice…why haven't you seen what's happening?,_ my frantic brain cried. If only Edward could read my thoughts. Why did my mind have to be closed to him when I needed him so desperately?

"Excellent," the vampire said, lifting himself back up on the seat, but cowering low so that no one could see him through the truck windows. "Now I want you to follow all of these nice children to the church. Let your friends get quite a few cars ahead of you. But be sure to wave to them so they know everything's fine."

I somehow did as he instructed, wondering how long it would take before my heart combusted from sheer terror.

This vampire seemed to be able to do what Edward could not, for he remarked, "Honestly, Bella, you need to calm down. I have no intention of hurting you, as long as you cooperate." Or maybe he could simply hear my heart beating a hundred miles a minute. It was probably quite tempting for him. I didn't believe for one second that he wouldn't hurt me, or worse.

We ended up in a caravan of student cars all heading for the same place. Most, if not all, of the school planned to pay their last respects to Lauren. The silver Volvo had already turned into the church drive and disappeared to the parking lot behind the house of worship when we pulled up.

"Keep driving," he commanded. "We aren't going to sainted Lauren's funeral." The vampire laughed sarcastically. "Though I doubt that's breaking your heart any, now, is it?"

How did he seem to know all of us so well? Especially when we had barely caught a glimpse of him since he had arrived in Forks. I glanced at him again, trying to figure out if I'd ever seen him before. His dirty blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his face was rather attractive, except for his dark eyes. They were as cold and uncaring as Victoria's had been. He didn't look at all familiar to me, except for the pale, preternatural beauty that characterized all vampires.

"Now turn again and get on the county road. We're going to take a little hike through the woods together, Bella. How does that sound?"

_Terrifying, _I wanted to reply. But my vocal chords were rendered useless with fright as I turned the truck onto the same road I'd used as a shortcut the night Edward attacked me. We drove in silence for a few miles while I peered repeatedly into the rearview mirror for signs that Alice and Jasper had figured out what happened and were following us.

The vampire laughed after my umpteenth look. "They aren't coming. At least, not yet. They don't know where we are. By the time your friends realized they'd lost you, we were long gone."

"How do you know?" I blurted, then nearly bit my tongue for questioning him.

He only appeared amused. "Experience," he said simply. "I don't have talents like they do. But I've lived a very long time, and I've encountered their kind before. Mystics, seers. Vampires with special gifts. But I have a gift of my own, you see," he smiled smugly. "It's very much like yours, in a way. But much more highly developed…more specific."

He paused for a moment, as if waiting for me to ask him what his, _our_, gift was. I didn't know what he was talking about, but I wasn't about to foolishly open my mouth again.

He sighed at my silence, then continued. "I can cloak myself from them very effectively, whenever I like. And I can let them see my actions, hear my thoughts, at will. I'm like a magician, really. Now you see me…now you don't." He laughed uproariously at his analogy, then sighed again. "You really don't have much of a sense of humor, do you, Bella? God only knows what Edward sees in you. A weak, vulnerable human. You do smell delicious, I must admit. But I don't quite get the appeal."

"You're not the only one," I muttered under my breath, then bit my lip fearfully.

The vampire laughed again, evidently pleased. "You do have spirit, I'll give you that! Maybe there is more to you than meets the eye," he mused. He was silent a moment, then pointed off to the left. "See that little culvert? Pull off and park there. Behind the boulder," he ordered. My heart began throbbing painfully again as I obeyed, realizing that this particular parking place would make my truck impossible to see from the road. I turned off the motor and waited, staring at my tennis shoes, feeling like I might faint. I had never fainted in my life. Apparently, I was not the fainting kind, or it would have happened long before now.

"Get out," he said simply, exiting the vehicle and appearing outside my door in an instant. He gave me his hand in order to help me out, which I ignored. I would rather die than willingly touch him.

He only laughed at this, clearly amused by my weak attempts to rebuke him. "You're going to have to get used to touching me, at least for a moment. I don't intend to walk at your pace to where we're going. You must hop on my back, and hang on tight. I need you in one piece."

I wanted to sob out loud, I was so terrified of what he had in store for me, or worse yet, Edward. I could barely get my limbs to work as he knelt before me, urging me to piggyback him. He grasped my wrists firmly in his steel fists and pulled them tight around his neck as he stood up. "Now hang on," he growled menacingly in warning. I squeezed my eyes shut as he took off, hating the way my stomach dropped as we picked up speed. If I had thought riding on Edward's back was unpleasant, it was nothing to the fear that filled every fiber of my being as he raced at breakneck speed through the frigid forest.

My cheeks were numb with cold when he finally came to a stop and unceremoniously dropped me from his back. I very nearly fell over, I was so disoriented. If he was so observant, why had he not made better note of my perpetual clumsiness?

"Here we are," the vampire announced, sweeping his hand grandly across the landscape. "Home, sweet home. Look familiar?"

I tried to slow my breathing and take in my surroundings. Of course it looked familiar. There, 50 feet away, was the deer stand. We were at Edward's cabin.

The vampire looked at me expectantly, and I nodded slightly, a wave of nausea nearly pushing my lunch back up. Of course. It was a trap for Edward, and I was the bait.

"You should feel right at home here, Bella, in Edward's old digs." He took hold of my arm and began walking, pulling me along with him, toward the door. "Do you see how I'm looking out for you? I thought you would be more comfortable here than any other place I could find. Well, any other place out in the middle of nowhere. And I require a bit of…privacy?…to complete my mission. This will do quite nicely."

He kicked open the door and pushed me inside the tiny room, then tossed me on the dilapidated cot. "Maybe you can even take a little nap here on the bed where Edward lay, trying in vain to get a bit of shut-eye. That was a heart-rending story he told you about his ordeal, wasn't it? Of course, he left out the blood-sucking, vampire-who-almost-killed-you part," he laughed with delight. "You can't blame the boy. He's a bright one, really. It's a shame it had to come to this."

I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that the demon before me had been lurking nearby during my hike with Edward in the woods. He had been spying on every little bit of our lives. What else had this sick, twisted voyeur seen? I shuddered at the thought.

"What do you want with Edward?" I finally rasped, finding my tongue.

The vampire gave me a wilting look, his lip curling with hatred. "He took something from me. I want it back. And I intend to get it."

What could he be talking about? The only thing I could think of was….

"Victoria," I said aloud.

The vampire smiled maliciously. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for. I actually like you, Bella. That makes it harder to do what I have to do…but not impossible," he added impishly.

I didn't have to wait long to find out what he was talking about. He walked over to the cabinet, opened the door, and pulled out several chords of rope and a bandana. My heart began to pound violently again as he came toward me. "Don't worry, this is really just for show. I won't hurt you. Didn't I promise not to hurt you if you behaved?" he reminded me. He stopped and shrugged off the navy parka, tossing it across the room. "I don't know how he wears that bulky thing," he complained. "Not my style. But it worked nicely for framing him. At least, it was working until…." he trailed off in a tone of disgust and picked up the ropes.

"No," I pleaded, half-sobbed, as he grabbed my hands and wound the rope around them, tying them securely together. He repeated the procedure around my ankles, and I couldn't stop the tears that finally escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

He looked up at me and sighed. "I would say I'm sorry to have made you cry, Bella; but the truth is, this will be very effective. It's just what I need. You see," he explained as he gently pushed me back on the cot, "I need the visual to be as dramatic as possible. When Edward sees this, he'll have no choice but to come rescue you."

I sobbed outright as he pushed my arms over my head, looped another chord through the rope around my wrists and tied it firmly to the iron frame of the cot. He moved to my feet and did the same, binding my ankles to the foot of the cot. I was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, and the irony only made me cry harder.

"Shhh, it's not that bad, is it?" the vampire cooed, smoothing my hair away from my tear-stained cheeks. I jerked my face away from him contemptuously. "Don't worry, I won't leave you here like this for long. I'll be journeying to find your vampire lover momentarily. And oh, the thoughts I will reveal to him! He'll be rushing to his damsel in distress before the sun sets, I'm quite certain."

"Don't hurt him," I begged hoarsely. "I don't care what you do to me. Just don't hurt him."

The vampire shook his head, looking a bit bemused. "How romantic! How very 'Romeo and Juliet' of you," he grinned. "Lucky for you, I'm a real sucker for true love. If I weren't, none of this would be happening." He reached for the bandana that he'd laid on the side of the cot, and my sobbing began anew. "I won't tie it too tight, I promise. But there are those pesky Forks police officers roaming around the forest, looking for clues about all the unfortunate murders that have been happening. So grisly. Dreadful, don't you agree?" he smiled, then laughed dementedly. "Anyway, I have no choice but to silence you, for now. I can't afford anything to interfere with my plans. I certainly wouldn't want to harm any of those fine officers of the law." He gave me a pointed look, and I truly thought I might be ill.

He twisted the bandana into a tight spiral, and I began to shake uncontrollably.

"Trust me, this will hurt me as much as it will you. Honestly," he said unconvincingly.

As he leaned toward me with the bandana, I blurted, "What is your name?" I wanted to know who the warped creature destroying my life was.

He pushed the bandana between my lips and drew the ends behind my head, lifting my skull as if it weighed nothing; then he tied the bandana securely at the back of my neck. The fabric instantly made my mouth feel dry.

He laid my head gently back on the mattress and stared at me a moment. "Just getting a good mental picture," he explained. Then he got up and headed for the door, turning back to look at me one last time. "Trust me, it won't be long." He turned to leave, and then swung his head back around. "Oh…my name is James. It's a pleasure to meet you, Isabella."

And with that, he left and slammed the door behind him.

I sobbed loudly through my cotton gag, terrified at what would happen. Could all of this really be happening because of a raging case of jealousy? Edward would never agree to take up with Victoria. That was impossible.

And yet…he had acted so strangely earlier. First cold and distant, then desperate and needy. He looked at me like…like it was the last time he would ever see me.

No, it wasn't possible. He would never leave me for Victoria. I had to believe the things he had said to me, the declarations of love. I had to trust him. If only he had trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I might have been able to figure out what was going on…maybe even warn him. And now he was walking right into a trap.

"Edward!" I screamed as loudly as I could, but the gag reduced it to a dull, muffled wail. _Alice…you have to see. You know where I am. _And then a wave of horror swept over me as I realized that she and Jasper had never followed me all the way to the cabin. They didn't know exactly where I was. Only Edward did.

I strained at the ties that bound me, twisting my hands and reaching my fingers for the ends of the rope. I had to get out of here somehow and warn Edward. Never mind that I didn't know where he was, or how to get to my truck. Maybe if I could free myself, I could find the trail and get back to Forks. I worked my hands against the ropes, to no avail. I wouldn't give up, though. I refused to give up.

_Alice. Edward. Please…see my thoughts. Read my mind. _I tried to mentally open my mind; to send a message out into the ether. James said he could pick and choose which thoughts he revealed. He said I was like him. Well, here was my first test. Perhaps I could train my mind to obey me as he had.

I put every ounce of mental energy into finding Edward and Alice, and every ounce of physical energy into loosening the ties that bound my hands to the cot. Tears rolled down my face, and I angrily told myself that crying was a waste of time. My efforts were needed elsewhere.

_Edward…be careful. Watch your back. Alice…find me. Find Edward. Bring all the Cullens. We need you._

And then, I added a prayer to God, or whatever higher power looked down upon me as I struggled_. _

_Help._


	14. Truth

_**Edward**_

The moment I saw her, my skin began to crawl.

She wasn't unattractive. In fact, she was rather sexy, with her blue-jean strut and her flame-red mane of hair. Every human in Jake's stared unabashedly as she sauntered straight up to the bar, but she paid them no heed. Her shrewd, black eyes and knowing smirk were aimed only at me. I wanted to grab her and strangle her then and there for daring to come near Bella. Instead, I mustered a terse smile and asked, "What'll it be?", curious as to how she'd respond.

"How about a nice, tall Bloody Mary?" she replied without missing a beat. Her grin was crooked, like mine. The resemblance ended there, her malevolence thinly veiled by her smiling expression. I searched her mind and saw only my face there, heard only my name. She was focused solely on me, and she liked what she saw. The feeling was not mutual.

"I'd fix you a drink, but why waste the booze on someone-or something-that can't appreciate it?" I countered in a low snarl, glad that it was near closing time and the crowd had begun to thin out.

"So that's how you're going to play, is it?" the redhead remarked, her smile fading. "That's a fine thank-you for the gift of immortality."

My jaw went slack as the image in her mind abruptly changed. My face was still the focal point, but it looked very different-eyes closed, head lolling back from what could only be a broken neck. She was cradling my limp body in her arms, and my features became a blur in her mind's eye as she dove in for the kill. Here, at last, was my answer: it was Victoria who had turned me into a vampire. I stared at her in stunned amazement, then tried to cover my shock. She didn't need to know that I could read her mind. My hidden talent might come in handy while dealing with her.

Her Cheshire-cat grin returned as she regarded my stupefied expression. "That's right, my little brain-damaged progeny. You have me to thank for that beautiful body of yours walking around on the earth instead of buried six feet under it." She paused and scrutinized me even more closely, her black eyes violating me head to toe. She leaned back and exhaled in satisfaction. "My God, you _are_ magnificent. I knew you would be. I mean, you were always a handsome boy, and an even handsomer young man. But as an immortal, you are truly beyond compare. No wonder your little girlfriend can't stay away from you, no matter how doomed your pathetic 'romance' is." She made quotation marks in the air with her fingers as she spoke, then let out a mocking laugh. I would have cheerfully snapped her neck for that remark, but one fleeting picture in her brain kept me from touching her: my adolescent face. She wasn't lying-she had known me years ago. My hunger for answers kept my fury in check.

Her demeanor shifted from gloating to wistful. "You really don't remember me at all, do you," she sighed.

I shook my head slowly and remained silent. I was beginning to see that if I simply let her talk, she would eventually hang herself. She obviously enjoyed the sound of her own voice.

"What a shame," she remarked, then looked angry for a moment. "That bastard," she muttered under her breath. Her mind quickly flashed on another man's face, but before I could identify it, she focused once again on me. It was clear that she was trying to block whomever it was out of her thoughts. I instantly wondered who he was, and how he fit into the equation.

It was nearing 1:30 a.m., and customers began filing out in small groups. The college kids who were home for Thanksgiving break were gathered around the pool tables, and would probably be there until I turned the lights on to signal closing time. I decided now was close enough. I wanted to speak with this creature alone.

"Wait here," I told her, knowing full well that she had no intention of going anywhere. I went to the master electrical panel and flipped all the switches, bathing the entire bar in glaring white light. The air was soon filled with drunken groans of protest from the kids who weren't ready to go home. I briefly wished Emmett were here, for he was far more effective at authoritatively clearing out the joint than I was. I had already let the other help go home, so it was up to me to close Jake's for the evening.

I marched over to the stragglers and gave them a look so baleful that they made very little protest when I told them to get out. For once, I must have come across like the scary monster I truly was.

After every human had vacated the place, I began cleaning up after them, returning all the dirty glassware to the bar and wiping down the tables. The redhead watched me with growing irritation, her thoughts belying her anger that I hadn't dropped everything in order to give her my undivided attention. I had decided that she didn't deserve it. She could talk well enough while I finished my work for the evening, if she wanted to.

"You can drop the act," she finally announced as I buried my hands in a sink full of dishes and soapy water behind the bar. "I don't believe for one minute that you aren't dying to know why I'm here, and what really happened to you."

"I have a job to do," I said curtly. "But I'm listening, if you want to tell me something."

"So self-righteous, aren't you!" she exclaimed. "What makes you think you're so much better than me? Because you've decided to dine on animals instead of humans?"

I quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. I wondered how long this woman had been following me, observing my habits. And why had I never caught her thoughts before?

"Would it make you feel any differently about me if you knew the kinds of predators I feed on?" she asked, her tone hard. "Forget those bears and mountain lions you're so fond of, Edward. Try a different kind of vicious creature." I saw the human males she spoke of in her mind's eye before the words came out of her mouth. "Murderers. Kidnappers. Rapists. Child molesters. Now there's prey worth stalking…worth toying with before you go in for the kill." Her eyes were filled with a righteous hatred. "That, my dear boy, is blood that goes down sweet and easy. I consider it a public service, frankly. Women everywhere should be thanking me."

"I'm sure you have saved some innocent lives. Good for you," I begrudgingly commended her. I had once considered going that route myself, and couldn't argue much with her reasoning.

"You should come with me some time," she encouraged. "Once you've tasted human blood again, you won't be able to go back to the way you're living now."

I gave her a brief smile. "I thought about living that way," I admitted. "But I decided I'm not interested in playing God."

"Ah." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Is that why you haven't turned Bella yet?"

I felt my frigid blood grow hot at the sound of my angel's name coming out of her wretched lips. Though I tried to hide my emotions, the redhead's eyes sparked with the recognition that she had hit a nerve.

"What are you waiting for? You know you'll have to do it, sooner or later. Unless you're planning on leaving her."

I concentrated on finishing up the dishes before I did or said something I would regret. I needed to play my cards carefully.

"You probably should leave her, you know, for her own good. If you don't, you'll just end up killing her," she continued, enjoying twisting the metaphorical dagger. "Not on purpose, of course. But eventually there will be just one little slip…one tiny moment that you forget your own strength. Or that resistance to her blood that you've tried to build up might suddenly disappear for a split second, and you'll _have_ to have just one…little…taste." She drew out her words melodramatically, goading me.

"What do you want?" I finally hissed, my patience at its end.

"Isn't it obvious?" Her eyes sparkled like black diamonds. "I want you," she said with emphasis, her husky voice hovering between a purr and a growl.

I let out a scornful laugh and shook my head in refusal. "Just because you made me doesn't mean you own me."

"Doesn't it?" she snorted, and again I caught a flash of the other man in her mind. Her maker? Her possessor? Her thoughts were still carefully veiled. "Shouldn't the fact that I saved you not once, but twice, make you beholden to me in some way?"

Once more, my boyish face appeared in her mind…pale, pallid. Lips slightly blue. Hair wet. Lying in the sand. What had she saved me from then?

"That's right," she continued, looking at my confused countenance. "I didn't just meet you, Edward. I've known you for a very long time. Well, in human years, anyway. I suppose the memory of those was erased by the accident. I'm not surprised. You were so very, very damaged when I found you after the car wreck," she said softly, her eyes far away, her mind reliving the moment for me once again. "You had massive internal injuries. I could hear and smell the blood running rampant under your skin…delicious. Your brain was the worst, hemorrhaging severely. Yet amazingly enough, there was scarcely a mark on you. You were thrown from the car, you see. Hit a tree, or a rock…I'm not sure which. But that exquisite face of yours was completely intact while you were bleeding to death right under the surface. Neither God nor Satan would destroy beauty like yours. That's what I thought to myself at the time." She let out a wry laugh, then her smile faded. "I knew there was no hope for you unless I turned you." She stopped and stared at my incredulous face. "So I did it. I gave you my blood. I gave you eternal life. I'm a part of you, Edward. Whether you like it or not."

My head was spinning, trying to put together all the pieces of the puzzle. "But what did you do with my parents? And why did you carry me so far from the car, and then just leave me there when you were finished? I had no idea what had happened to me. I didn't have a clue what kind of monster you had turned me into. I attacked a complete innocent on the side of the road. I nearly killed Bella…because of you!" I was beginning to see red, I was so furious.

Her eyes flashed angrily. "You never would have met her if it weren't for me and James!" she exclaimed. _Bingo. _The man's face appeared again before she put him out of her mind, but this time I got a little better look.

"Who is James?" I demanded, trying very hard to control my rage.

She was shaking angrily herself, but obviously for a different reason. A macabre smile twisted her lips as she told me, "He's the man who killed your parents."

And then I saw the entire scene like a movie through her eyes: The ordinary, if somewhat unkempt-looking, blond vampire leaping out suddenly from the thick forest, directly in the path of the oncoming sedan. The car abruptly swerving to avoid him, crossing the median and crashing headlong into a rocky outcrop. A body thrown violently from the back seat upon impact. The mangled vehicle bursting into flames…but not before the male vampire had pulled the dying couple from the wreckage and fed on their blood. Victoria had run to me, hovering over me, crying out my name and cradling me in her arms. Why was she so attached? I could feel her emotions through her thoughts. She truly cared for me. Why? How had she ever known me before that day on the Pacific Coast Highway?

"Not you," she had moaned pitifully, smoothing my hair back from my motionless face. And then, after a moment, "Don't worry, Edward. I won't let you die." She had clamped her teeth on her own wrist and torn viciously at the skin there until the blood oozed freely; then she'd held it over my slack mouth, letting it flow down my throat. "God, please let this work," she had prayed, and I was taken aback at the earnestness of her plea. "Make him swallow my blood somehow. Make him live. I saved him once….I can do it again."

Suddenly, her wrist had been wrenched violently away from my mouth. Through her mind's eye, I saw the visage of the vampire named James, peering venomously down into her face. He was furious at what she was doing. She had dropped my body momentarily and, with lightning speed, shot a well-placed kick into his gut, sending him sailing at least 100 feet through the air before he landed. And in that small space of time, she had scooped me up in her arms and run.

She ran and ran, faster than the sound of her boots in the brush could carry. She shifted my body up over her shoulder, trying to pick up speed. Though my weight was nothing for her immortal strength to bear, it still impeded her enough for James to gain on her. A sudden blunt force in the middle of her back sent her to the ground, knocking me from her arms. James instantly grabbed my limp form and bared his razor-sharp teeth next to my neck, poised for the kill.

"No!" she screamed, her voice piercing the silent forest like a deranged banshee.

He laughed in vicious amusement. "What's the matter, Victoria, my dear? Are you afraid I'll kill your darling boy? Why would I do such a thing?"

I couldn't see her face…this "movie" was from her point of view. But I could feel her boiling pain and resentment. "Because you're a sick, jealous bastard, that's why," she snarled in answer to his question.

"On the contrary, I think I've been extremely accommodating of your little obsession over the past, what, six years now? Have I ever kept you from checking up on him, visiting him? Lurking like a pathetic stalker at his tawdry little track meets and piano recitals? I think I've been extremely patient with you, my pet. After all, it was merely a harmless little fascination with a beautiful boy.

"But I'm not blind, and I'm certainly no fool," the blond vampire continued, his lip curling in a disgust. He lifted my lifeless body in example. "This human is a boy no longer. He's a man. And I've seen your expression change as you look at him. Those platonic, even motherly, feelings of yours have turned into something much less pure. Why on earth would I let you turn him into one of us? So you can leave me for him? Never!" he spat. "You are mine. I created you, and I intend you keep you."

His mouth widened over my broken neck again, and Victoria let out another agonized scream of protest. "What will it take for you to spare him?" she rasped. "Name your terms."

James raised his face. "So you want to bargain with me?" he grinned cruelly.

"Yes," she agreed, sounding defeated.

"Fine," he announced, relinquishing my body and letting it fall to the mossy earth. "I'll spare his life, if you promise never to come looking for him again. Once we leave this place, we will never return. There will be no more pursuing this boy, no more worshipping his pretty face from afar. Understood?"

Her breath heaved loudly in her ears…my ears…as I continued to relive the tale in her head. She gazed down at my ghostly pallor while I lay still as a stone on the damp forest floor. Her eyes closed for a long moment. And when she opened them, she focused on James' expectant face.

"Yes," she agreed dully. "Just let him live."

James laughed delightedly in victory. "And so I shall," he said amiably, rising to his feet and stretching out his hand toward his vampire lover. "Not that he will have much of a life, should he make it through the night," he guffawed.

_Please, God…let the blood work. He had to have had enough. He must be turned. He must survive. _Victoria chanted this thought to herself over and over, trying to will me to live through her urgent mantra. I wondered what kind of God answered the prayers of undead demons like Victoria. Whatever He was, He had granted her wish.

And thus she had unwillingly taken the hand of her mate and departed. She had left me lying under the protective boughs of a giant sequoia, while James tried to assure her that he understood her plight. After all, he had pursued her with the same sort of single-minded fervor when he met her. The moment he saw her, he was convinced that she would be all he would ever want. He had decided early on to make her his, in every way. So he killed her and gave her his immortal blood, ensuring that he would have an eternal companion to save him from the encroaching madness of a life that never ends.

We sat in silence for several minutes while I tried to absorb all that I had seen. She studied me carefully, then finally spoke.

"James was right," she murmured at last. "You _can_ read my mind quite thoroughly, can't you?"

It seemed pointless, and impossible, to deny it now. I nodded imperceptibly.

"I hate that he's always right," she sighed. She was quiet, and her thoughts were a jumble of images of the blond vampire; some fond, some resentful. "I used to love him, you know. It's been many years since he found me and made me his. My human life hadn't been all that memorable…I wasn't sad to leave it. I saw the world that James opened up to me as a wondrous new place, full of danger and excitement. I went along with all his little games; I relished them. It was fun. I knew no other way. I wanted no other way."

The dissatisfaction in her voice was impossible to miss. "What changed?" I asked her.

Her mind drifted again, this time to a boat, off in the hazy distance. She seemed to be standing on the shore, or a dock, staring across the dark waves. I recognized the distant shoreline in her memory, because I had just visited it three days ago with Bella. Victoria was standing on the dock at the marina in my hometown.

It was almost impossible to see the man and the adolescent boy with their fishing poles, they were so far away; but she studied them intently for a moment. Her eyes darted to other crafts on the choppy water, some closer, some further away. She seemed to be casing the area, and her throat burned with fiery thirst. She was hunting. One of these unlucky boaters would soon become her prey.

Excited shouting began to echo across the water. The boy had caught something-something big. It was easy to see him struggling with his fishing pole, trying to reel the fish in, but being jerked violently by its efforts to escape. The man-his father?-put down his own pole and loped across the boat to aid the boy, but before the man could reach him, the boy was suddenly pulled over the side of the boat and into the water.

The fish dragged him quickly away from the craft, while the father hollered for his son to let go of the line. He frantically grabbed for his life vest. He and his son had foolishly left them nearby on the deck instead of wearing them, perhaps thinking that they didn't need them while the boat was anchored. By the time the man had put on his vest and secured one for his son, the boy was far from the boat. His head bobbed precariously in the water, repeatedly disappearing under the waves. He obviously wasn't a good swimmer.

And like a shot, Victoria was off. She leapt from the dock she'd been standing on and glided, dolphin-like, through the muddy water. She was at the boy's side in seconds. I could feel the undertow pulling at Victoria's feet; she, of course, was strong enough to resist its inexorable pull. But the boy was gasping and sputtering as she approached. By the time she reached him, he had disappeared.

She dove into the murky froth, her vampire eyes searching the black water for her prey. She wasn't about to let such an easy mark be devoured by the river instead. Finally she caught him by his t-shirt and yanked him upward, out of the grasp of the undertow's cold vortex. She pulled him behind the boat, out of the line of vision of the father who ran desperately from bow to stern, looking for signs of the child who had disappeared. Then Victoria swam for the nearest island, slogging up on the brown, debris-covered sand with the boy in her arms. She laid him down gently, then firmly pushed the water from his lungs in a series of quick Heimlich maneuvers. The liquid sputtered from his mouth and he choked and gasped with life, but remained unconscious.

_Perfect, _she thought with satisfaction. _The blood warm and alive, the mind oblivious. _She looked up at the boy's face, and there it was: my countenance, only younger. I looked as most boys do: the beginnings of a man's jaw and brow beginning to show signs of sprouting from an otherwise angelic child's face. My skin retained a tinge of ghostly pallor from nearly drowning, yet somehow still glowed with the translucent purity of youth. My limbs were long and gangly, shoulders not yet broad. I was probably about twelve years old, and displayed every awkwardly endearing characteristic of that in-between age.

Victoria noticed the same things I did, yet she attached far more meaning to her observations. I could feel the emotions that accompanied her appraisal of my boyish face. In that moment, she found me unspeakably beautiful; a perfect example of the untold promise of life to come. She couldn't bring herself to kill me. In fact, in a sudden and perverse twist of logic, she mentally held me up as a paragon of everything human that she could no longer possess: warmth, vulnerability, potential for growth and change. She began to imagine me as a man, and the various incarnations of me that would lead up to that final change. She wanted to watch it happen. She wanted to be a witness to my fruition. Instead of being my harbinger of death, she would now be my granter of life. She fancied herself my champion, my hero, my savior. She had never been any of those things before.

She stood and waved at the boat, hollering for the father to turn his craft and come ashore. She shouted that she had saved his son, and he needed to come and get him. The man-my father-turned his attention toward the sound of her voice, and his shoulders slumped in relief when he saw the woman waving and pointing down at me. He quickly revved the boat's engine and turned it around, heading for the island.

Victoria looked down at my face and stroked my features gently, her fingers shaking as she felt the warmth of my smooth skin under her icy touch. "Nothing will ever happen to you as long as I'm here to protect you," she whispered. She leaned down and kissed my cheek gently, smoothing my hair out of my face; then rose to her feet and bolted into the wooded thicket behind us. She hid behind a tree as my father anchored the boat and sloshed through the water toward my body. I had begun to come to, choking and sputtering some more as my father helped lift me to a sitting position. He looked around everywhere for his son's hero, but she remained undetected in the thick cluster of trees.

"Thank you," my father called out gratefully into the muggy air, then paused to wait for her appearance. "Please show yourself so I can give you proper thanks for saving my son," he added hopefully.

He was met with only the sound of the waves lapping up on the beach at his feet. He shrugged, bewildered, and turned his attention to me, lifting me up and carrying me back to the boat. Victoria watched in silence, mentally repeating her vow to be my unseen and unsung protector for the rest of my days. I couldn't help but be reminded of my similar vows to Bella, made over her fragile body as she lay in the hospital bed.

"Do you see?" Victoria finally said softly, staring at me questioningly over the bar. "Do you understand why I could never give up on you? I can't explain what happened to me in that moment, but I never forgot it. It changed me. _You_ changed me. I never hunted any innocents after that. Only the evil-doers of this world."

Her eyes burned with a passion for me that I knew I could never return. "You made me a symbol of everything good and human that you had lost," I told her. "But then _you_ changed _me. _Now I'm like you, and that human innocence is lost. There's no reason for you to look out for me anymore. No reason for you to be fixated on me. You can't save me anymore."

"No," she whispered, leaning closer, eyes blazing fervently. "But now you can return the favor. You can save me."

My brow furrowed for a moment before her unspoken words echoed in my head. _He'll never let me go. You have to help me get rid of him. You have to kill James. _

I stared at her, incredulous. "You want me to kill James?" I exclaimed. "That's what you're here for? To collect on a bill I never even knew I owed you?"

"Don't you want vengeance for your family?" she countered vehemently. "And what about the way he set you up to take the fall for that little blonde girl? I knew he had followed me back here-it didn't take long for him to figure out where I'd gone when I snuck away a few weeks ago. Why do you think I killed that fisherman while you were out of town? I didn't want to take an innocent life, but I had no choice. I had to create an alibi for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Edward. I don't think a little favor is too much to ask for after all this time."

I took a deep breath and tried to wrap my mind around this new twist. "So let's say I help you do this. We kill James. Then what?"

Her brain blurted her desires before she could stop it. _Leave this place and come with me._

I shook my head. "You know I can't do that."

"Of course you can," she insisted excitedly. "Think about it, Edward. You could be living a life of total freedom with me, traveling wherever you want, whenever you want! We could make it like a pilgrimage, visiting the world's greatest cities one by one and ridding them of the filth and vermin that plague their streets. It would be a righteous way to live, Edward. There's no reason for you to box yourself into this dreary little corner of the world, feeding off of the weak blood of animals…denying yourself what your true nature wants and deserves. When you were human, you couldn't wait to free yourself of the shackles that small-town living imposed on you. What happened to that sense of adventure? It doesn't make any sense for you to stay here."

I looked into her impassioned black eyes and was stunned to see the sincerity there. She truly thought I might be lured by her offer. That I would leave the only family I could count on, and the only person I loved more than my existence, in order to fulfill some previously unknown and unsought obligation to her.

"I don't remember who I was as a human, or what I wanted then," I reminded her. "Your partner made sure my brain was too scrambled to ever recall what happened before. You can thank him for my preference to stay with the people I know and love now. Wandering the earth like a vagrant parasite holds no appeal for me."

She fought to keep her lips from dissolving into an ugly sneer. "Love," she muttered contemptuously. "What do you know about love? Your longest attachment has been all of two months now, if that. Do you have any idea how much I suffered, watching you from afar for all those years? Knowing that you were oblivious to my very existence, even though you had me to thank for yours? But I was happy to suffer in silence, knowing that you were better off that way. Free to live a happy, normal, human life. I wanted that for you, I truly did.

"But now?" she paused, and let out a low chuckle. "Everything has changed. There's no reason for me to let you be. There's no reason for you to deny the woman who made sure that you will live on forever. _You owe me_, Edward," she finished emphatically.

My eyes met hers with equal intensity. "The way you owe James?" I shot back.

The sneer finally won and captured her face in its twisted grip. "I've paid my dues, and then some, where he's concerned. You, my dear boy, haven't begun to pay."

"Is that what you really want? For someone to pay for what happened to us both? Or do you just want me to suffer the way you did for all those years?"

"No, of course I don't want you to suffer! I want you to love me!" she cried impulsively. Chagrined, she shrank back, as if she had said too much.

"You know it doesn't work that way," I said quietly. "You can't make me love you, any more than James can make you love him again. My heart belongs to someone else. It always will."

Her face was ashen and still. Her eyebrow slowly raised, and then her upper lip joined it. The smile that flitted across her face was bitter. "So Bella is the only one you love. And that's unchangeable, is it? You know this for certain, in a matter of weeks?"

_In a matter of hours…minutes, even, _I thought. But I simply nodded in response.

"Are you ready to prove that you love her?" Her eyes challenged me. Queasiness spread through my belly, and I felt my face harden. I braced myself and waited for her to continue.

"I stayed out of your way for six long years in order for you to live the life you deserved. I would have stayed in the shadows for decades if that's what it took for you to be happy." I could see where she was headed, and my stomach churned. "Tell me, Edward: what would you be willing to do to make sure that Bella lives the life she deserves?"

"Are you threatening her?" I growled, glimpsing the vague ill intentions that swirled around Victoria's mind.

"Of course not," she denied. "I don't have to. You know it as well as I do, Edward: if you remain in Bella's life, it will eventually be her undoing, no matter how good your intentions are." She must have seen the uncertainty in my face, because she continued like a dog gnawing a bone. "You know it to be true. Look at what happened to you. Despite my best intentions, your life was nearly snuffed out too soon. If I hadn't intervened, you would have been lost forever. You very nearly were."

"If you hadn't carried a torch for me all those years, I never would have been in danger from either you or James in the first place!" I retorted.

"_That_ is exactly my point," she replied in a low hiss, her eyes shining victoriously. "In spite of all that love you claim to have for her…no matter what you want for her…what do you suppose Bella's eventual outcome will be?"

I wanted to deny it, to rail against her. But Victoria had just put voice to my unspoken fears, and the voice rang true. I was the worst danger Bella would ever face. If I truly wanted what was best for her, I would remove the cancer before it spread any further.

"Come with me, Edward," the vampire beckoned in what I'm sure she thought was an alluring tone. "You know it's the best thing for her." She paused and placed her hand over mine. Her cool touch made shudders of revulsion run up my arm. "You can watch her, visit her, like I did you. I won't mind. How can I?" she offered, in what passed for her version of benevolence.

She removed her hand from mine and rose from the bar stool, then shot me a foreboding look. "Don't condemn her to your fate," she said ominously. "Meet me here tomorrow at noon. It will be the best gift you could ever give her."

She strode purposefully toward the door, then turned back as she opened it. "And if you truly worry for her safety, then trust me, you'll help me get rid of James."

And with that, she was out the door, leaving me stunned and immobile for several long minutes. I knew she was working me, playing on my fears for Bella's safety in order to get what she wanted. But I couldn't escape the thought that in the end, she was right. I didn't trust her-and I certainly didn't trust James-to leave Bella alone and unharmed. But if I rallied the Cullens and we managed to kill off Victoria and James, what then? Bella thought she wanted to be like us; to be locked into an immortal life with me and the Cullens. But how would she feel about that choice decades from now, looking back on a childless existence, with her real family long dead and buried? Would she resent me then, the way Victoria resented James now?

No matter which solution I chose, Bella would lose something precious to her. If she chose me, her losses would be irrevocable. But if I let her go, what would she lose? Only me; and what good was I to her, anyway? She was young and beautiful, with an entire lifetime of human experiences awaiting her. I simply couldn't condemn her to a fate with me, frozen in time, never able to move on, to grow, to evolve. Who was I to take those things from her?

I thought about a life with Victoria instead, and my instant reaction was aversion. I felt a certain amount of guilt and sympathy for her plight, but as it was caused quite unknowingly by me, I couldn't manage to feel responsible. Yet I also couldn't help but appreciate the irony of our parallel situations. If Bella had responded unfavorably to me the first day I went to see her in Newton's; or if she had never forgiven me when she found out the truth about what I'd done to her; then I would be in Victoria's shoes right now. I would be eating my heart out over an unrequited obsession just as she had. What kind of callous person would I be if I didn't acknowledge that glaring truth? And how could I dismiss Victoria so completely, when she wasn't so very different from me?

I realized with a heavy heart that I had already made my decision. When Victoria asked me what I would be willing to do to assure Bella the life she deserved, she already knew the answer. So did I. I would do anything, sacrifice anything. I think I had known this was the inevitable conclusion all along, before Victoria ever showed herself and solved the riddle of what my life had been before. Nothing she had ever done or would do changed the inescapable truth that Bella had been better off before I tainted her world with my presence, and she would be better off when I was gone.

As soon as my mind was resolute, my dead heart began to ache horribly. I had to see her; I had to hold her in my arms one last time. I couldn't wait until morning. Every minute with her was precious.

I quickly finished closing and locking up the bar before I sprinted to Bella's house. I found a very bored-looking Rosalie lounging on the front stairs. She was obviously relieved at my arrival.

"It's about time," she groused, heaving herself up and brushing off her designer jeans. "Why were you so late closing up Jake's?"

I debated lying, but decided on a version of the truth. "I had a visitor," I told her. The look on my face must have given the rest away.

"Victoria?" she exclaimed, suddenly interested. "What did she say? Did you get any answers?"

I nodded and gave her the short version of the story. I left out the part about my impending departure, even though she would be the one Cullen who would probably support my decision. If she told the others, however, I'd be facing a wall of opposition that I simply didn't want to deal with. It would be better if I disappeared as unexpectedly as I had appeared in their lives.

"So how do you plan to deal with this Victoria woman?" Rosalie asked. "You know she's not going to give up on you easily. Not after all she's done for you. Or at least, I'm sure that's how she sees it."

I sighed heavily. "I'm not sure," I lied. "But no matter what, I'm going to make sure that she and James don't come after Bella."

"Let them," Rosalie said cavalierly. "We can take care of them. I'm sure Emmett would be itching for a really good fight. It's been years since he faced off against anyone other than a grizzly, or Jazz, just for fun."

I let out a small chuckle. "Thanks, Rose. I'll let you know if I need the cavalry to ride in to the rescue." She headed down the steps, and I called after her, "I love you, you know. All of you."

She looked back at me, her eyes suspicious. _What are you planning, Edward? _she wondered. But aloud she said only, "We love you too, Edward."

After Rosalie disappeared down the drive, I let myself into the Swan house with the key hidden under the eaves. I was surprised to see light coming from under Bella's bedroom door when I got to the top of the stairs. I gently opened the door and quietly called her name, panicking for a moment when she didn't reply. I sighed with relief when I realized what had happened: she had fallen asleep reading. Her favorite book, _Wuthering Heights_, was still tucked under her hands.

"An epic tale of twisted, ugly passions that ends in complete misery for nearly every character in the book," I whispered as I gently pried the novel out from under her fingers. "How very fitting." I set the book on the nightstand, turned out the light, and lay next to my angel, wrapping one arm protectively over her. I stared at her for what seemed both an eternity and mere seconds before she stirred and awakened. She was happy to see me, until she perceived the dread on my face. How could she read me so well, even in the dark?

I tried to calm her. I lied. She knew I lied. She knew me so well, without once being able to read my mind. I couldn't read hers, and so often felt lost and confused, wondering what she was really thinking and feeling. She was my favorite mystery; one I never wanted to stop trying to solve. I never wanted to leave her side. I could feel the tears welling and I squeezed them back. I prayed for sleep to come and grant me an excuse for not having to explain, though I knew it was a fruitless endeavor. I buried my face in the exquisite scent of her soft neck, her hair, her pillow; hoping she would stop questioning me, stop making me lie to her.

She finally slept fitfully, and I studied every expression, every movement, with the rapt attention of a Rhodes scholar. When she finally rose at dawn to shower, I wanted to hop in with her, despite the fact that her father was in the next room. Instead I sat on the edge of her bed and listened to the running water, remembering the way it spilled over her ivory skin when we showered together four short days ago in my parents' house. I replayed each memory in my mind, trying to burn the impression into my brain so that I would never forget a single thing about her…so that she would become a permanent part of my immortal being, no matter how much time passed.

I did this while she ate breakfast with her father. I could hear their simple morning chatter as clearly as if I were sitting at the table with them. I imagined what she must look like in her giant, fluffy bathrobe with her wet hair trailing down her back, chewing her eggs and toast. And then my mind wandered back to the weekend…the times I watched her eat, watched her laugh, watched her forehead crinkle with passion when she came. I catalogued every detail and committed it to memory, filed away permanently in what was left of my tattered mind.

When Bella came upstairs and caught me doing this, she appeared frightened. I could hide nothing from her, it seemed. I pulled her to me and buried my face in her robe so that she couldn't see my pain at the thought of leaving her. But the ache wouldn't be denied, and I groaned like a wounded animal at the feel of her in my arms, knowing this would be the last time. Her heartbeat quickened and her warm skin beckoned to me from under the soft fabric. I had to touch her, feel her, possess her once more.

Her body was a drug to me as I pulled her robe open and touched my skin to hers. I couldn't stop kissing, nuzzling, tasting every bit of her as my hands stroked her and held her close. Her fingers through my hair felt like angel's wings. God, how I loved her. How I wanted her.

All thought faded as my instincts took over. I pushed her back on her bed; my clothes were off in an instant and I was hovering over her, spreading her open, plunging inside her. I teetered on a knife's edge between pleasuring her and hurting her, and maintaining that balance was the most welcome torture I would ever experience. I pressed my body to hers, grinding into her as much as I dared; every inch of her beneath me searing me, branding me as hers from head to toe. She would own my body and soul, if I had such a thing, until the day I stopped breathing.

I sobbed like a broken man when I came inside her, feeling as if the pinnacle and the demise of my existence were one and the same in this moment. There would be nothing more for me after this. But there would be life for her, and that was enough. It was more than enough. It was everything. It had to be.

I tried to pull myself together, knowing that I would arouse her suspicion if I continued to wear my heart on my sleeve this way. I could see and feel her dismay as I pulled away from her. I felt the same stabbing pain shoot through me as the night she accused me of not knowing what love was…because if I did, I wouldn't have lied to her. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should tell her the truth. And then what: wait for James or Victoria to attack her the second she was out of my sight?

No, I wouldn't go through this argument in my mind any longer. It always led me back to the fact that Bella would be better off without vampires in her world. Next year she would go to college and get away from the Cullens, and meet some nice, normal human man she could marry. The thought made me ill, and I pushed it away. Victoria was wrong about one thing: I would not be able to watch Bella live her life without me. I wasn't strong enough. But I thought I might be strong enough to stay away from her and exist on my memories. Maybe in time they wouldn't hurt so much.

I tried very hard to behave as normally as possible, to push the dreadful thoughts away long enough to take Bella to school. She still looked pensive as we said our good-byes, and I knew that I hadn't really fooled her. I never could. I finally gave in and pulled her to me in one last passionate, desperate kiss. The smell, the taste of her was my heaven. I reveled in it one last moment before letting her go and resigning myself to a lifetime of purgatory. Lord knows I had never deserved anything more.

I watched until she disappeared into the school, then darted to the nearby woods. I let the tears flow freely until my pain finally settled into a dull, numbing ache. I thought about going back to the Cullen house and packing a few things, but I didn't want to have to explain myself to any of them. Besides, it seemed that my new way of life wouldn't require much in the way of personal belongings. I would be living the way vampires were intended: lurking in the shadows like the predators we were. I wondered if I would really feed on humans again. I supposed that if I were to follow Victoria's lead, the temptation would eventually be too strong. But part of me hated the thought of rejecting the civilized way of life the Cullens had managed to maintain for so long. Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed in me, I was sure.

I sighed and decided to make my way to Jake's and wait there. It was nearing noon already. There was no point in putting off the inevitable any longer.

I didn't have to wait long. Victoria arrived early, and her thrilled smile of satisfaction upon seeing me galled me a little. She was mentally congratulating herself on her victory. I wanted to slap the smile right off of her face, and for one second, I wondered what the hell I was doing.

"You won't regret this," she tried to assure me. I had no reply, for I was reasonably sure that regret would be a very big part of my existence for quite some time.

"Have you thought about where you'd like to go first?" she asked excitedly. I shook my head listlessly. "No? That's okay, I have a plan. I thought we could travel down the coast. The scenery is gorgeous, and there are plenty of places to stop and hunt along the way. And I'm talking people or animals…whichever you prefer."

I gave her a look of surprise. "I'm not trying to change your entire way of life in a day, Edward," she said. "I never got a chance to help you adjust to being a vampire. I was never able to mentor you like I should have. James robbed me of that." Her voice was bitter.

"What about James, then?" I questioned her. "Is he still lurking around here? If he's a danger to Bella like you claim he is, I don't want him anywhere near her."

"James is a tracker," Victoria stated. "His favorite thing in the world is to stalk his prey for awhile before he attacks. I knew he would follow me here, and not just because he's obsessed with controlling me. He can't resist a challenge. We used to play our own little version of Hide and Seek, just to keep things interesting," she informed me. "If we leave, he'll follow us, because he'll follow me wherever I go. Our best strategy is to get far away from Forks, and Bella, as quickly as possible. We can deal with him when he's caught up to us somewhere far from here."

I nodded, wondering if I could trust her words. What if she and James were actually working together, and this was just a ruse to lure me away from Bella, leaving her unprotected? Then again, why would James have it in for her?…unless he saw me as a threat to his relationship with Victoria. In that case, he might view Bella as the most effective way to get to me.

I suddenly grew uneasy at this new suspicion. Alice had told me not to trust Victoria; that she lied. She had told me not to go with her. Fear began gnawing at my insides.

"Will you do me a favor first?" I requested.

Her eyebrow raised. "What is it?"

"I haven't had time to feed. Do you mind if I make one last hunting trip around here?"

She looked relieved. "Sure," she shrugged, obviously unperturbed by my small request. "I'll go with you. This could be interesting to watch. Although I have watched you before, a couple of times. I'm sure James has, too."

I looked at her, puzzled. "How is it that I never sensed either of you, or heard your thoughts?"

She laughed and said, "I had an excellent teacher, though I've never been able to do quite what James does. Of all of his talents, his ability to hide is his most finely honed skill. If he doesn't want you to know his intentions, or his location, then trust me, you won't. Spying on you undetected has probably been his greatest joy in life these past few weeks, especially when he figured out you're a mind-reader." She paused and grew serious. "Don't underestimate him, Edward. He's capable of most anything. We need to be on our guard, because he could surprise us any time."

I thought back to my hunting trip in Iowa…his words in my head, his scent leading me away from Bella. He _had_ followed us there, and he most certainly was taunting me, letting me know how easily he could get to Bella if he wanted to. My anxiety grew. I would make sure that this little hunting excursion with Victoria lasted until I heard from Alice that she and Jasper were safely on their way to Seattle with Bella in tow.

Victoria asked where I wanted to hunt, and I suggested heading south into the mountains. No easily caught deer or elk would do for this expedition. I intended to stalk something that took more time and effort to kill-a predator, preferably a mountain lion. Victoria sounded excited to watch me at work. I could tell already that I would never get used to being the object of her unsought affection.

We journeyed southeast and were well into mountainous territory when I caught the scent I was looking for. I found the large cat lounging on a flat rock, trying to warm itself in the anemic Washington midday sun. It wisely sensed danger as I approached, its ears pricking at the quiet patter of my feet as I drew nearer. I let out a low, menacing growl for good measure, to make sure the animal would either confront me or run, allowing me to fight or give chase.

_Edward, we lost her. _

For a mad second or two, I thought the urgent voice in my head was that of the lion whose yellow eyes met mine. Then a bolt of fear shot through me as I realized that the familiar voice belonged to Alice, dozens of miles away in Forks. What did she mean, they lost her? Lost Bella? How? My mind swirled with horrible possibilities as I came to the awful realization that my suspicions were justified.

_I can't see where she is. _

The mountain lion mere yards away clearly smelled my terror, for its eyes flashed with confidence as it pounced from the rock and charged me, knocking me flat within seconds. It attacked my throat with vigor, but of course its fangs met with an impossible resistance it did not expect. I grabbed its massive jaws in my hands, and with one quick wrench, its neck was broken. I was too sick inside to even crave the animal's blood, but with Victoria standing nearby cheering my victory, I knew I must drink.

"Fantastic," she sighed with satisfaction as I finished off the beast and tossed its body aside. "You know, I could get used to watching you hunt wild animals instead of people. It's so…primal." She gave me a seductive grin that only made me want to wring her neck the way I had the lion's.

"So tell me, Victoria," I demanded, wiping my mouth clean of any blood that remained. "How far away did you agree to lure me so that James could go in for the kill?"

I had to admit, she looked genuinely baffled. "What are you talking about?"

"Are you going to deny that James has gone after Bella? What kind of fool do you take me for?" I snorted, leaping up and grabbing her roughly by the arm. "Did you think I would buy your story that you've been running from him this whole time?"

She shook her head in denial, her eyes seemingly confused. "What do you mean? It's no story, it's the truth! I left him weeks ago. I've been dodging him as much as I have that annoying vampire family of yours. I wasn't lying-I want him dead, Edward!" she insisted vehemently.

"Or maybe you've been working with him this whole time just to fuck with my head a little more, since the brain damage you left me with obviously wasn't enough for you!" I raged, feeling that my icy blood might start to boil if the wretch in front of me was responsible for James laying a single finger on Bella.

"No!" she exclaimed, her eyes blazing like hot coals. "I would never trick you like that. Believe it or not, I would never hurt Bella to get back at you. I know all too well what that feels like. I actually do care about you, you know. How can I prove that to you?"

"Tell me where he is," I hissed angrily, grabbing her other arm and giving her a rough shake. "Tell me what he has planned. Tell me if he has Bella."

Either she was a tremendous actress, or she really didn't have any clue. Her expression was dismayed, and oddly repentant. "I don't know," she said hoarsely. "Where is this coming from? Did you hear him? Is he nearby?" She began to look around nervously.

_Edward, I just had a vision of her in the deer stand! Your place in the woods. We're headed in that direction, but we don't know how quickly we can find it. Hurry, Edward…she's in danger._

Alice's voice in my head first brought relief, then panic. I knew exactly where to find Bella…but it was more than twenty miles away, through rocky terrain. How fast could I travel? I was about to find out.

I released Victoria and was off like a shot, racing north without a thought or word to the vampire I left behind. She called my name, and I vaguely heard her footsteps running after me; but I could think of nothing except Bella's safety. I leapt over massive rocks as if they were pebbles in my way, running so fast that even my vampire sight couldn't focus on the blur of trees as they passed. I tried to outrun the unthinkable ideas of what James was capable of doing to my angel. If he touched her, I would shred him to pieces with my bare hands. I was certain I would need no help from the Cullens to do it, though I prayed like mad that Alice and Jasper had already found my cabin and rescued Bella by now.

_Edward, be careful! It's a trap._

"Bella?" I gasped, and ground to an instant halt. Never had I heard her voice in my head, except in my own fantasies. But I would know that beautiful alto anywhere, and it was most certainly Bella's, ringing in my head as clear as a bell. I looked around frantically, and realized I wasn't far from the tiny hovel I had briefly called home. It was only a few more miles.

I was about to begin running again when I saw the vision: Bella's tear-stained face, looking up in fear from the cot I knew so well. She was bound and gagged, unable to speak. Fury and terror seized me in equal measure as the picture shifted, and I watched the stubby hands that tied her…heard her sobs of protest before he shoved the gag in her mouth.

_It was a shame that I had to treat her so badly, I know, _came a foreign male voice in my head. I had heard it only once before-in the woods outside my Iowa home. _But how else could I get you to relinquish what you've taken from me? An equal trade seems to be the most equitable solution, don't you agree? An eye for an eye…a love for a love._

"James!" I bellowed his name like a curse. "Where are you hiding, you coward? Show yourself!" I heard nothing but the whispers of the forest around me. He might not be close enough to hear me, just close enough to send his twisted thoughts in my direction. Of course-he was probably near the cabin now, waiting for me to come to Bella's rescue. How on earth had he managed to lure her away from the school with Alice and Jasper none the wiser? Victoria was right-his cloaking skills must be superior, or at least more effective than Alice or I had ever encountered. Except for Bella's, of course. Had I really heard her words in my mind at last? I wanted to believe it was so.

"Talk to me again, angel," I whispered under my breath as I took off toward the cabin. I didn't care what kind of trap James was setting for me. He would not get away with this as long as there was breath left in this walking corpse of mine.

"Edward, wait!" a voice called, but it came from behind me, not within. Victoria had nearly caught up to me. I was glad she was following me, since she was obviously what James was after. I would be more than happy to deliver her back to his waiting arms in exchange for Bella's release.

I couldn't afford to slow down when I was so close. We had almost reached the clearing near the cabin, and I could swear I caught a whiff of Bella's sweet scent hanging faintly in the air. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Victoria was still behind me, and was suddenly blind-sided. Had I hit a boulder? My entire body felt as if it had been slammed against a wall of concrete. I fell with such force that I plowed into the earth beneath me, half-buried in the cold mud. The concrete had fallen with me, on me; and as my eyes whipped up to see what had happened, cold steel fingers gripped my throat with a strength I had felt only from the likes of Emmett Cullen. I looked up into the menacing black eyes I'd seen last night-through Victoria's memories.

"James," I managed to rasp, grabbing his wrists and trying to pry his hands from my throat. He held fast, but was unable to tighten his grip or twist my neck while my own brute strength worked against him.

"Edward," he grinned back with a demented cackle. "Don't you know it's not worth losing your head over a woman?" He shoved my skull back into the ground, digging his thumb into my windpipe and squeezing as hard as he could. Luckily, vampires didn't really need to breathe. I tried to maneuver my legs so that I could give him a well-placed kick or a knee to the groin, but Victoria beat me to it. She flew toward us out of nowhere, smashing her hiking-boot-covered foot into his ribs. His body sailed into the air before landing twenty feet away; but he instantly sprang up and whirled to face me again. I was already on my feet, crouched down, ready for him.

"Stop this, both of you!" Victoria shouted as she tried to maneuver between us.

James laughed, a vicious, ugly sound. "Why don't _you_ stop this, my pet?" he taunted her. "You're the only one who can. After all, you started it."

She shook her head. "I'm not coming with you," she sneered. "I'm done with you and your sick little games."

His eyebrow raised; his face was disbelieving. "You used to love our games, Victoria," he reminded her softly, his tone far more sinister when it was controlled and quiet. "You used to relish the challenge as much as I did. You were as much of a force to be reckoned with as I was, until…." he trailed off and shifted his glare to me, then snorted in derision. "This pretty boy made you soft. Weak. Pathetic. I kept thinking you would outgrow your bizarre crush on him. I humored you in the beginning because I thought you regretted never having had a child. He seemed to bring out the mothering instinct in you." He let out another mirthless laugh, his dark eyes shifting back and forth between us. "I guess he is your progeny, in a way, isn't he? I never dreamed you'd given him enough vampire blood to turn him. I guess I was too busy dining on the delicious blood of his parents to pay close enough attention to what you were doing." He grinned at me cruelly. "Don't worry, Edward. They were unconscious at the time. At least, I _think_ they were. I'm sure they didn't feel a thing."

His lips curled up at the corners, but he never got the last laugh out. I rushed him and gave him a right hook to the jaw so hard that he flew back a dozen feet into a giant redwood. The tree gave way with a splintering crack as his body carved its niche in the trunk. In seconds he had leapt from the trees and pummeled me in the gut with both fists, sending me reeling halfway across the clearing.

And so it went, the two of us battling, with Victoria trying to pull James off of me whenever he lunged for my neck. He was obviously intent upon removing my head from my body, one of the few ways that our kind could be killed. A good bonfire afterwards was the safest and surest way to put a vampire to his eternal rest, or damnation, whichever was applicable.

Soon we were near the deer stand, and I was sure then that I could smell Bella; feel her presence. I raced to the front door and was about to wrench it open when I was knocked away again, this time by another vicious kick to the hip by James as he sailed at me like a ninja warrior. It was a strange sensation, fighting with one of my own kind. I was battered and bruised from head to toe, and yet I could feel each wound, each broken bone, healing within seconds after the damage was inflicted. I truly felt indestructible, and I was sure James did as well. And yet I knew that one wrong move, or Victoria choosing to side with James against me, could spell my undoing.

None of it seemed to matter when I looked at the tiny cabin that housed my only reason to stay alive. I would keep Bella safe or die trying.

James hovered a few feet from the door, protecting it like a goalkeeper. I decided to try a different tactic.

"You said you wanted to make a trade…'a love for a love,'" I reminded him. "Are you going back on that now?"

His eyes narrowed and his posture straightened slightly. "I am a man of my word," he claimed. "If only it were that simple. You see, I'm not sure how you can return what you stole from me."

"And what is that?" I asked, taking the bait.

"Her heart," he said simply, gazing at Victoria, who stood uneasily nearby.

"You can't steal someone's heart," I argued. "It has to be given willingly."

James let out a surprised laugh. "Well, aren't you the philosopher, Edward. Who knew? And all this time I thought your brain was reduced to nothing but oatmeal."

"No small thanks to you," I muttered.

"Indeed," he agreed. "I would apologize, though I think you might doubt my sincerity. But you are right about one thing: A heart must be given willingly. And for some reason I can't begin to fathom, Victoria has given hers to you. The damned thing of it is, though, she was a little too late. You already have someone's heart-Bella's. And she has yours. Am I right?"

I didn't answer, just stared at him dourly and waited for him to get to the punch line.

"As I was telling you earlier, through that nifty little mind-reading trick of yours: we need to come to an equitable solution. You seem to have been given one heart too many, Edward, and you have only one to give back in return." He tapped his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "I know! Perhaps I should follow King Solomon's wisdom and offer to slice you down the middle, so that Bella and Victoria can each have half. Whoever gives you up in order for you to remain whole is the one who loves you the most and deserves to keep you. What do you think?"

He laughed uproariously at his suggestion, while Victoria and I stared at him in disgust. James' smile faded as he studied her expression. He sighed heavily. "You used to have such a great sense of humor, my love. Where did it go? I thought you would enjoy the irony of that parable, since you already made that very sacrifice to save Edward. Twice." He gave me a look that clearly indicated he thought I wasn't worth it.

He gazed back at Victoria, and their eyes seemed to be communicating something that only they understood. After a moment, he continued. "If the situation were reversed, and Edward were the one making the decision, who do you suppose he would choose, Victoria? Who would he save? Who would he sacrifice?"

Her lip twitched slightly, but she made no reply.

"If I stepped aside right now, Edward would race into this cabin and release sweet Bella from the ropes that bind her, fighting us tooth and nail to do it. And if you were standing in front of this door instead of me, he would think nothing of killing you to get to her. You know I speak the truth."

She glared at him silently, hating that he was right. She made no attempt to hide her thoughts from me, and they were in turmoil. She knew that I would never love her; and in that moment, she knew that she could never love James again, either. She was lost.

"Stop fighting fate," he continued his plea. "We belong together. We always have. Give up this pointless obsession and come back to me." He held out his hand to her, giving her as sincere a look as he was capable of.

_Thank God, I'm free!_

For a split second I thought those words were Victoria's; but no, that exultant voice in my head belonged to my angel. It was all I could do to keep from calling out Bella's name when her words suddenly pierced my brain again. Was it really her? Had she managed to work her way out of the ropes that bound her just a few yards away? My sluggish heart began to chug with anxiety. I hoped she wouldn't do anything foolish; that she would wait until it was safe before she ventured outside.

Victoria finally spoke. "I can't go with you," she told him dully. "I won't go back to the way things were."

"As if you have so many other appealing options," James scoffed. "You'd be wise to cut your losses and try to find happiness elsewhere. You'll certainly never find it with him." His gaze shifted to me and his eyebrow lifted menacingly. "I think we should leave this godforsaken little burg behind and start anew, my pet. But perhaps we can share a little snack before we go. Bella's scent seems to be seeping from under the door…and, I must admit, she does smell positively scrumptious!"

I was shaking with rage as I lunged for James' throat. At that precise moment, the door of the cabin swung open swiftly behind him, and there stood Bella, brandishing one of the metal legs from the rickety cot she'd been tied to. I had no idea how she'd managed to dismantle it. Before I could warn her to stop, she ran out and swung it with all her might at James' head.

The metal bent harmlessly around his impervious skull, but it did the trick: it surprised him just long enough for me to get the upper hand. I threw him violently to the ground and fell upon him, seizing him in a choke-hold with both hands. I pushed at his jaw with one hand while the other squeezed his throat with every ounce of strength I had. I was determined to twist his head to the breaking point, but his iron grip on my arms kept me from accomplishing the deed.

I was so intent on snuffing out the life in those snarling black eyes glaring up at me that I nearly didn't hear the muffled scream behind me. But Victoria's shrill voice made me snap to attention.

"Give me one good reason not to kill her!"

My heart sank, knowing what I would see when I looked behind me. Without slackening my hold on James, I slowly turned my head. There stood Victoria, one arm ensnaring Bella's waist, the other over her mouth and jaw, pulling her head back. The vampire's sharp teeth were inches from Bella's tender neck. I could still see the faint scars from my own handiwork displayed there, taunting me.

I sighed in defeat, feeling once again that I would never be able to escape cruel fate.

"What do you want, Victoria?" I asked hollowly.

"You know exactly what I want." Her eyes were desperate, crazed. Her mind was no longer thinking clearly. She didn't care if Bella lived or died. She simply wanted me to choose her, and it no longer mattered to her whether or not I made that choice of my own volition.

"All right," I conceded, despair splintering my voice. "If you let Bella go free, I'll come with you." My pained eyes met Bella's, begging for her forgiveness. Her gaze was frightened, but also seemed to be filled with understanding. At least the way I had behaved earlier probably made sense to her now. I didn't know if James had told her anything, but I was sure she comprehended what was happening. She had probably heard most of our conversation from within the deer stand. If I weren't so afraid for her, I would have been bursting with pride that she'd managed to escape the ties that bound her.

Victoria regarded me warily for a moment, then looked at James struggling beneath my stone grip. As a newborn vampire, I was inherently stronger; but James fed on human blood, which gave him an advantage. We seemed to be locked in a stalemate.

"What about him?" I asked her. "Do you still want him dead? If you do, then you'll have to help me."

James' eyes flared indignantly. He flashed Victoria a murderous look, obviously shocked that she had plotted against him. Her eyes filled with guilt under his incredulous gaze.

"I don't know if I can do it," she admitted, her voice cracking. "Can we take him to your family? They can finish him off quick enough."

James' eyes were wild, and his throat rumbled with a stifled roar under my crushing fingers. He struggled uselessly against me, and I could feel the fury building in his small but muscular frame.

"You're in luck. They should be here any minute," I told her, hoping that Alice and Jasper would stumble upon us soon. I was surprised they hadn't heard our growls echoing through the forest.

"And when they arrive, you'll leave Bella and James to them, and come with me?" Victoria demanded uncertainly. Her brain betrayed that she didn't trust me to do as I promised. I wondered if she knew how to trust anyone. It was a lesson she certainly never would have learned from James.

I nodded slowly, sadly, but emphatically. I looked at Bella and my heart ached with longing and regret. One tear rolled silently down her cheek as she stared back at me. When the tear splashed on Victoria's hand, the vampire looked down in surprise, then revulsion.

"Here," she grunted in distaste. "Say your nauseating good-byes to each other. Just don't make me watch." And with that, she gave Bella a rough push away from her, toward the spot where James and I lay deadlocked. True to form, Bella teetered precariously for a moment before her ankle twisted under her and she fell to the earth beside us.

What happened then took only an instant, but felt as if it were drawn out painfully in slow motion as I stared in abject horror. James released my arm immediately and grabbed Bella's wrist, trying to draw it to his mouth. I slammed his arm into the frozen tundra, willing him to release his grip on Bella. I had almost succeeded when my worst nightmare came true: Victoria grabbed me from behind and yanked me upward, then kicked me off of James' body. She dove upon me, grabbing my jacket in her fierce grip and using her momentum to roll my body with hers across the ground, away from James. The second he was free, he seized Bella from behind as she tried vainly to scramble to her feet. He pulled her back to the ground, jerked her head back, and looked up at me in smug victory.

"Eye for an eye…love for a love," he growled. And then James sank his snarling mouth into the sweet, vulnerable spot beneath her ear.

"Edward!" she managed to scream, and her desperate cry sent a million knives stabbing through me.

"NO!" I roared, in a volume I never knew I was capable of emitting. The sight of James' teeth tearing into my angel's neck was more than I could bear. I flung Victoria away from me and leapt to my feet before lunging at James, but Victoria's arm jerked my neck back in a stranglehold, trying to drag me away. I could see and feel the jealousy seething within her, ruling her actions as she held me back. She wanted nothing more than to see her competition eliminated. Nearly blind with rage, I bent over swiftly with her arm still locked around my neck. The motion flipped her right over my head and slammed her body into the frigid ground. I dove again for James, whose mouth was still locked on Bella's neck. A river of scarlet blood flowed from the wound and soaked her collar. Her terrified eyes locked with mine, pleading.

I bellowed her name like a wounded animal as I stumbled toward her, only to be stopped again by Victoria. She grabbed my ankle as I tried to pass, pulling my foot out from under me. I fell to the ground with a shudder and tugged my leg from her tenacious grasp, kicking her away as I clutched at James' shin, trying to drag him closer. He heaved his boot-covered foot up and planted it in my shoulder, punting me back as he continued to suck the life out of the only person who truly mattered to me.

"Let go of her, you bastard!" I raged, leaping toward him again. Victoria once again threw herself on me and thwarted my progress. Desperation began to overtake me, and I cried out, "Alice! Where are you?"

_I'm here! We're coming! _

No sooner did I hear the words in my head, I heard their footsteps in the distance, running fast. In my periphery, I saw Alice and Jasper racing through the clearing toward us, followed distantly by Emmett and Rosalie. I had never been so grateful to see anyone in my short new life, and was even more relieved when I felt Victoria being ripped away from me, freeing me to attack James.

James, of course, was smarter than that. He reluctantly released Bella and rose to his feet, ready to run. Jasper, however, was faster, and Emmett was stronger. The former caught James after he had fled only a few feet, while the latter easily subdued him, wrenching his arms behind his back.

"So this is the bastard who killed your parents, is it?" Jasper asked me, giving James a look of disgust.

"Do you want to do the honors?" Emmett queried, giving James a brutal shove in my direction. Jasper grasped James' neck in his steel fist and jerked his face toward me, as if offering him up like a sacrifice.

"I'd love to…but I've got better things to do," I replied, giving James one last look of pure, unadulterated hatred. I wanted nothing more than to wring his neck myself. But I could barely take my eyes off of the ghostly white girl lying in front of me, hanging onto her life by a tenuous thread. Bella was all that mattered. Revenge was a waste of time, and I was terrified that Bella had precious little of it left.

I scooped her limp body up in my arms and held her close. Her breathing was shallow, her heartbeat slow and ponderous.

"You're safe now, Bella," I whispered to her, desperately wanting to believe my own words. "I'm going to take care of you."

She looked up at me groggily, her lids half-closed, her pupils unable to focus. I was filled with a level of fear and dread that I had never dreamed possible.

I turned and headed toward the woods. When I passed my sisters, who held Victoria securely between them, Rosalie snarled, "What do you want us to do with her, Edward?" She gave Victoria's red mane a vicious yank for emphasis.

Victoria's eyes were pleading. I tried to feel empathy for her; to muster a bit of gratitude for what she had done for me. But as I looked down into Bella's ashen face, I could feel nothing but rage and resentment.

I looked into Victoria's inky black orbs and said, "I'm sorry for all you went through because of me. And I'm grateful for you saving me. But when you tried to kill Bella, you might as well have stuck the knife in me." Victoria's lips twisted bitterly.

_You're pathetic, _her thoughts baited me. _You could have had so much more._

"All I'll ever need is right here in my arms." I turned to my sisters and said, "Call Carlisle right away-Bella's going to need him." I glanced at Victoria and added resolutely, "I don't care what you do to her."

And with that, I turned my back and carried Bella swiftly into the woods, to a secluded spot where she wouldn't have to hear what the Cullens did to James and Victoria. I ripped my jacket off and settled into the nook of a large sequoia's roots, cradling Bella carefully in my arms and pressing my coat firmly against her bleeding neck.

"You were so brave, coming out and attacking James like that. I'm so proud of you," I smiled down at her.

She grinned weakly in return. "I just wish I could have been more help to you," she whispered hoarsely.

"Don't be ridiculous. You were fantastic. Like a superhero," I insisted. I smoothed her hair back from her face, and felt the clammy sweat on her brow. "I'm so sorry," I whispered tearfully, rocking her gently. "I never should have left you. I should have gone to the Cullens for help. I should have listened to Alice."

She shook her head wanly. "You were only trying to do what's best for me," she croaked, her voice nearly gone. "You just never figured out what that is."

I let out a choking laugh. "Maybe you're right. I just didn't want you to lose everything the way I did. I didn't want to be the one to take those things from you."

Her eyes closed for a moment, then opened slowly. "You didn't. You gave me so much more than I ever could have dreamed of." She coughed weakly, and her head fell back against my arm. "I don't regret any of it. You were worth it."

I shook my head in denial. "You're talking as if it's over. We are not over, Bella. You're not going anywhere. Carlisle will be here any minute and he'll stitch you up just like he did before. You're going to be fine."

Her eyes were sunken and dull as she gazed up at me. "I can't feel my hands and feet anymore, Edward. I can't…move."

My heart began to hammer loudly, and I realized in that moment that I could no longer hear hers. I knelt my head down to her chest, and could barely discern the faint, irregular thump from behind her ribs. Her breath was cool and shallow on my face. Her skin was pallid and damp. I didn't want to admit what was happening, didn't want to see what was staring me in the face. I removed my coat from her neck to check her wounds, and the cloth was soaked through with her fragrant blood.

Bella was dying.

My body began to shake and I couldn't make it stop. Tears welled in my eyes and fell freely down my cheeks though I tried to hold them back. I didn't want to scare her; I didn't want her to see me this way. I soon realized it didn't matter.

"Edward?" she whispered, blinking fiercely, her unfocused eyes rolling back slightly. "I can't see you. I can't…." her voice trailed off and her eyelids fluttered closed. "I love you."

She went limp in my arms.

"Bella?" I whimpered. And then, more frantically, "Bella?" Panic swelled in my chest, threatening to consume me. And then I saw the picture in my mind: Victoria opening her wrist and letting the blood flow into me. I now understood her desperation. I would not, could not let Bella go. A world without her was inconceivable to me.

I thought nothing of the pain as I bit viciously into the flesh of my wrist with my razor-sharp teeth. I made sure I sliced at the artery, watching with relief as the thick scarlet fluid began to ooze from my skin in rhythmic spurts. I let Bella's head drop back over the crook of my arm, her mouth falling open so that I could force my bleeding wrist between her lips. I waited in agony as my blood filled her mouth. I prayed that it would trickle down into her stomach; that she could somehow find the strength to swallow. I stroked her throat gently with my other hand, as if it would help the liquid flow down where it was so desperately needed.

"Please, God, save her," I sobbed, leaning over and kissing her icy cheek. "Let me hear her say my name once more. Don't let my mistakes be her undoing again." I continued to rock her gently, stroking her face and her neck, hoping that my blood would be enough to save her, to give her life. Eternal life. Oh God, let it be so. I couldn't even feel guilty for my selfishness in wanting her to live. The world would lose one of its brightest lights if her life was snuffed out.

_Edward…I can feel you. _

_Bella? _A thrill of hope radiated through me. I had heard her voice in my head once again, I was sure of it. _Bella, can you hear me?_

_Yes. You can read my thoughts?_

_Yes. _New tears began to spring; this time from the hope that began to flood through me. _I can hear you. I heard you earlier, too. You were inside my mind…you can't imagine how it felt to hear your voice in my head._

_I tried so hard to send my thoughts to you, and to Alice. And you heard me. You found me._

_Yes, sweet angel. I will always find you._

I felt her lips and tongue move slightly under my open wrist. A sob of relief caught in my throat. _Drink, Bella. Take my blood. Take my life._

_You told me never to drink your blood, Edward._

I laughed out loud then and leaned down to kiss her cheek. _I think I told you a lot of things you shouldn't have listened to._

Her mouth was beginning to gain strength, her lips growing firmer against my skin, her tongue beginning to suck and lap the blood from me. The sensation was beyond compare. I wanted her to take everything from me; body, mind and soul. I was hers, completely.

_You _are_ mine, _her thoughts spoke to me. _As I am yours._

"Yes," I whispered aloud into her ear, brushing my lips along the delicate flesh. I kissed her neck gently, nuzzling her. The wetness of her blood coated my lower lip; I mindlessly licked it away. The taste was so overpowering that I groaned out loud. I was suddenly invaded by the scent of her blood, as if it were a living, growing thing spreading through my nostrils and into my lungs. I had to have more. My lips brushed her neck again, lower, where the blood still ran freely. The taste was irresistible, and my tongue crept out to lick my lips clean again.

_Taste me, _she beckoned. _Drink from me._

I groaned again, trying to resist. I didn't want to hurt her, not when she was just beginning to respond. But the blood that was already there, staining her neck…surely there was no harm in partaking of this, was there? I ran my tongue up and down her flesh, lapping the exquisite elixir from her and feeling the ecstasy mount within me.

_God help me, Bella, I can't…stop. _I didn't know whether the taste of her blood or the loss of my own made me weak; I only knew I could resist no longer. My mouth found the open wound on her neck and began to gently suckle there, coaxing the sweet red fluid from her and relishing its incomparable taste on my tongue. I felt her lips sucking harder on my wrist, and to my delight, her once-dead hands reached up and grasped my arm firmly in their cool grip. She drank from me earnestly, hungrily, greedily.

"Edward," she sighed aloud against my skin. _I've never felt so alive. _

My thoughts were too chaotic to form a coherent reply. I drank from her almost as lustfully as she did from me, reveling in the incredible taste. My head was pounding, and the throb began to pulse throughout my body. I soon realized what it was: the joining of our hearts, exactly as it had been the first time I drank from her. Only nowthe circle was complete, for Bella drank from me as well. The throbbing intensified, and I felt my heart swell as it recognized its partner, its soul mate. Her heartbeat grew stronger and louder, and it matched mine in an insistent rhythm that pummeled me from within like hands striking the skin of a drum.

_My Bella, _was all I could think as our blood mingled and became one, flowing through each other, giving each other life. It was a moment of completion, of pure ecstasy, that I thought I would never find again. And yet here it was, consuming me more wholly than I ever dreamed possible. Bella's heartbeat overtaking my body was the most unforgettable sensation I would ever experience.

_Edward…I never knew it could be like this. You, inside me, so completely. I never knew I could love you this way. _Her mind was swirling with passionate thoughts that mirrored my own.

_I can't even begin to explain how much I love you. You are everything to me. _I could think of nothing more to say. Words escaped me. I began to feel drunk; woozy.

_I can't get enough of you, Edward. _She dug her teeth into my wrist and sucked roughly, and pain shot up my arm._ I can't stop._

_I don't want you to stop. Everything I am is yours._

She continued to work at my wrist, and the throbbing in my head grew louder, more insistent…almost painful. My mouth on her neck began to tire and grow slack. Her blood was beginning to take on a different smell and taste…less sweet, more pungent. Almost acrid. And yet, I continued to feed weakly, taking this changing blood into my body. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I discerned what was happening: her blood was transforming, becoming less human, more vampire.

_Drink, my son. It will cure you._

My brow furrowed in confusion at the new voice in my head. It wasn't Bella's, but it was just as familiar, just as intimate, and even more comforting.

_Don't worry, my little Edward. Everything is going to be fine. Just take the medicine and you'll wake up good as new_.

_Mom? _My mind called weakly. _Are you really here?_

_Of course I am, darling boy. I've been here all along, as has your father. We would never abandon you. You just needed a way to find us again. _

I could feel her warm hand on my forehead, smoothing my hair back, the way she did when I was a child. I looked up into a vision of her face-her lovely blue eyes, her honey-colored hair, her kind smile. And suddenly, everything became clear to me. Piano lessons, camping trips, picnics, softball games. Discussions around the dinner table, laughter around the TV. Dad helping me with my homework. Mom tucking me into bed. Recitals, concerts, track meets-my parents in attendance at every one. Keggers around bonfires in the country with my friends. Making out under the bleachers after the game with my girlfriend. My best friend sneaking into his brother's stash so we could get high while we listened to old Pink Floyd records.

Every page from the book of my life came into vivid relief, one by one, as they flipped through my mind. The people, the places, the events…each one a jigsaw puzzle piece that fit neatly into the next one, until the entire picture was finally complete. I was flabbergasted that the tapestry of my life was once again whole.

_Bella…I remember. _My head spun crazily, giddily.

_I know. It's wonderful, Edward. Everything is the way it should be. You are whole. And we are one._

_What did I ever do to deserve this?_

_You never deserved anything less._

I nodded weakly, and my head fell back against the tree. I couldn't drink her blood any longer. It was too bitter. Her sweet essence was gone, but her eyes opened to gaze up at me, and their brilliance was stunned me senseless. They were shockingly green, and so lovely that I could only stare in wonder at their incredible depths.

"Beautiful," I whispered, my eyes closing briefly. I felt so tired. How odd. I hadn't felt tired in so long. I missed being sleepy, I realized. The feeling was comforting, like the face of my mother, which I could now conjure up at will.

My arm ached dully as Bella continued to suck hungrily from my wrist. Her pretty face kept blurring as my eyes floated shut, over and over again. I thought I heard another familiar voice through the murky haze, calling my name, then Bella's. A male voice.

"Carlisle?" I murmured.

"Bella, stop! You're killing him!"

I felt my angel being wrenched from my arms, but I couldn't seem to lift my eyelids enough to see what was happening. I thought I heard her frustrated, angry scream in response, but it sounded very far away. My limbs were far too heavy for me to raise myself up and go after her. The soft, oppressive blackness enveloped me like velvet, and I had no choice but to succumb to its seductive embrace. As I drifted into the darkness, I finally recalled its name.

Sleep.


	15. Resolution

_____At the end of the last chapter, I left myself the unenviable task of writing the transformation and awakening of Bella as a vampire, which is something that Stephenie Meyer already did spectacularly. I have not read Breaking Dawn in over a year, so my memory of her exact words is sketchy at best, thankfully. If I've lifted anything directly from her story, it was done inadvertently. I tried to change it so it's not just a direct rehash...there's no Renesmee, for one!_

_**Bella**_

The first twenty-four hours were hell.

In retrospect, I supposed that they seemed particularly hellish because of the supreme bliss that had filled every cell of my body in the all-too-brief moments before.

After the horror of James draining me, the sensation of Edward lifting me up into his protective embrace was heaven. I clung to him as tenaciously as I could, desperate to stay with him. As always, I felt safe cradled in his arms; his words were sweet salvation. But I sensed darkness looming ever closer…enormous, inescapable. I felt as if I were falling down a deep well, Edward's face and voice echoing above me and then fading to nothingness as I spiraled helplessly downward.

Inert, numb, I floated. Seconds? Days? Time had ceased to have meaning.

And then, through the soft black cocoon of unconsciousness, I heard something. It was faint at first, like the sound of a primitive drumbeat far in the distance. But the beating became louder, more insistent. I could feel it reverberating through my body, reviving it, resurrecting it. Through the haze of dawning consciousness, I discerned that the source of the vibration was at my lips, and they reflexively closed around the pulse, eager to embrace it. Its perfume beneath my nose was beyond compare. I began to suck tentatively, drinking as much of this sweet elixir into my body as I could. I instinctively knew that this was the source of my deliverance, and with each swallow, I could feel a surge of life pumping through me, sparking my limbs with electricity.

_Edward. _This was the first conscious word that resurfaced in my head. This was the name for the power rejuvenating my body. He was the life force. He was everything.

My eyelids fluttered slightly and I saw his face. Instant recognition and relief flooded me. My beautiful god was giving me the greatest gift he possibly could, and I received it gratefully, eagerly. I tried to speak, to reassure his worried mind. I could feel his fear as if it were my own. But I couldn't seem to stop my tongue from lapping up his life source long enough to form the words.

_Edward, I can feel you, _my mind cried silently.

I could sense his elation, and his thoughts soon expressed it. His words flowed through me as easily as his blood. Yes…that was what this intoxicating drink was. Conscious thought and memory grew the more I drank, and I reached my hands up to grasp his arm firmly, letting him know that I was strong and alive. This was the moment I had longed for…the turning point. The merging of our bodies, minds and souls. The bestowing of his strength upon me. The sharing of his immortality with me. I knew with complete assurance that he would never let me go again. When he put his lips to my neck and took what was left of my frail humanity inside him, I knew that our covenant was complete. There was no greater bond than this, and our mutual thoughts confirmed it, even as our spirits wordlessly shared the unfathomably intense communion. Nothing could possibly tear us asunder now.

Even as that knowledge flowed through me, I sensed something changing. Edward's mind was drifting, and became filled with images I didn't recognize. An incredibly detailed film began playing in his head, and I soon realized that he was the star. I watched in awe as he grew from a tiny baby to the beautiful creature he was today. Euphoria filled me as I realized that these were memories, flooding Edward's brain as thoroughly as our shared blood flooded our veins. Had I somehow been the catalyst for this? I didn't understand how that could be, but I was too thrilled for him to care. He was complete now; he was whole. His emotional reaction nearly overpowered my own, and the feeling of it mingling with mine made me sob in gratitude.

But even this could not interrupt my hungry mouth from gnawing at his steely flesh. I would never tire of the circle we made together, feeding off of one another. I was too drunk with his essence to realize that it was beginning to wane. The balance was shifting. A fire began to burn through me, bringing me more warmth and life than I ever dreamed possible. I had never felt this vital, this alive, as a human. The vampire strength was more powerful than I ever could have imagined. I could feel my body transforming into something so wholly _other_ than it had been, that exhilaration overtook me to an unprecedented degree.

And that precise moment was when the hell began.

I heard a familiar voice piercing the cocoon in which Edward and I were enveloped. Carlisle's? Yes, that was it. He accused me of killing Edward, but that was impossible. Wasn't it clear that we were one now? We gave life to each other-we didn't take it away from one another.

I felt foreign hands on me, pulling roughly at me, jerking me away from my other half. How dare Carlisle remove me from Edward? The notion was unthinkable, incomprehensible. I screamed in outrage as my body was cruelly snatched away from its protector, my empty hands and mouth reaching in vain for their comfort. Instead they turned on the aggressor, clawing and biting in fury at the being who had so thoroughly wrenched me away from my other half. I flailed violently at Carlisle, trying to extricate myself from his iron grasp. No sooner had I freed myself from his grip than two more pairs of hands restrained me.

"Edward!" I wailed, my vocal chords straining with desperation. I looked around wildly, trying to focus. I finally found his beautiful face and my heart ached with need. His eyes were closed; his skin translucent alabaster, blue veins pushing faintly through their sparkling cover. Carlisle knelt over him, grasping Edward's face in his hand and lifting his eyelids gently one by one. His blue orbs were now a milky white; dull, unseeing.

"Esme, Alice, get Bella to the cottage," Carlisle ordered. "We'll have to keep watch over her there. I'm going to need to give Edward a transfusion."

"How are you going to do that?" a quivering voice spoke near my ear. I tried to pry my eyes from Edward's still form in order to focus on my prisoners. I recognized their faces, and tried to put the names to them. Yes, of course…Alice. And Esme. Her worried question to her husband hung in the air while I continued to writhe uncontrollably in the two vampires' grips.

"I'll give him my blood," Carlisle informed us. "And if necessary, I'll get him some human stores from the hospital. He might need the strength. Don't worry, Esme…I won't let him go," he assured her soberly.

I began to sob again, horrified at the thought that I had nearly destroyed my love, and aching miserably to be near him. But I soon learned that the pain of being separated from Edward was nothing to the pain of my human body slowly dying.

I railed against Alice and Esme, who half-dragged, half-carried me away from Edward's lifeless body as Carlisle prepared to do for his son what he had just done for me. The fire that had surged through me and made me feel so alive soon intensified into an inferno, its flames seeming to engulf my veins. I was being burned alive, from the inside out. How on earth could anyone survive such torture?

I don't know where the Cullens took me. I had no sense of time or place. My eyes were squeezed shut in pain, my body curled into a ball of agony. Conscious thought failed me as the excruciating fire blazed on and on. My mind was nothing but a dizzying whirl of images, past and present. I tried to concentrate, not wanting to lose my memories-or my very sanity-to the raging inferno. But my main wish was simply for the pain to stop. It had to end soon. How much could any being endure?

Ever so slowly, consciousness fought through the pain-provoked madness and tried to claim me. I occasionally began to hear familiar voices. Edward's lilting baritone was the only one that truly cut through my anguish, his honey tones like water to my fire. I couldn't speak his name, but I repeated it over and over in my head like a mantra, clinging to it as if it were a life preserver. I could feel him ever present, and his nearness was the only balm to soothe me. I had the fleeting thought that I was glad Edward had no memory of this kind of pain. I was sure I would not be so lucky.

Eventually, blessedly, the fire began to burn itself out. The heat gradually subsided, and a coolness settled into my limbs. The relief was profound. I lay perfectly still for a long moment, feeling the steady intake of my lungs and the lethargic, nearly non-existent beat of my now-cold heart. I became aware of the sensation of cool breath blowing softly on my cheek, and the feel of someone's fingers entwined with mine. _Edward. _I tried to squeeze his hand; to open my eyes and look at him. I wasn't sure whether the laws of physics or simple fear kept me immobile. I was afraid that if I lifted so much as a finger, the flames might begin racing through me once more. I suddenly felt his cool hand on my forehead, brushing my hair back. Electricity shot through me, but it wasn't the painful fire-it was the surge of excitement I felt every time Edward touched me.

I tried to assure him with my mind. _Edward…I'm okay._

His other hand tightened around mine. "Bella?" he whispered, his voice raw, urgent, hopeful.

_Yes. _I had to make this new and hopefully improved body work somehow. I concentrated very hard on the feel of Edward's fingers between mine, and tried to grip them in return. I wasn't sure I had actually moved at first, but then I heard Edward make an exclamation of what sounded almost like pain.

"Bella!" he said in surprise, followed by a short laugh. "You don't know your own strength yet, do you?" His thumb pressed into my palm, rubbing it gently.

Had I squeezed too hard? Why weren't my senses more coordinated? Was this what it felt like to be a vampire?

I concentrated again, willing the dark curtains covering my eyes to be raised. I desperately wanted to see Edward's face. My eyes snapped open like window shades that had been wound too tightly and then released. I was disoriented at first, the gray Washington sunlight streaming in the window to my left seeming inordinately bright. It brought the stone ceiling and walls around me into stark relief, each detail of their craggy surface a fascinating study to my newborn vampire eyes. But when my sight drifted to the right, I was so astonished at what I saw there that I gasped out loud.

Edward Cullen was the most beautiful creature ever created.

Obviously, I had known this before. He was empirically, unequivocally handsome; no human would ever deny it. But no human was capable of seeing what I saw when I gazed at him now. The rainbows of color that danced off of his skin gave him an ethereal glow much more vivid than I had never noticed through mortal eyes. His lips were the softest, most perfect shade of pink; the hairs of his brows and eyelashes the silkiest chestnut brown. But his eyes were the most remarkable of all. I could now see the entire kaleidoscope of colors creating the shade of blue that my human eyes had always admired. Now I could discern the tiny lines of color making up his irises-so many varying shades of blue, green, gray and hazel that the colors seemed to dance and change with the scarcest movement. No wonder his eyes had always seemed to change with the weather-every hue was already inherent there, waiting to be exploited by the sun's rays.

And yet, the most remarkable thing about Edward's eyes was the love I saw there. His joy at seeing me conscious again seemed to be as intense as my own. He squeezed my hand in his, then reached out with the other hand and stroked my face with his long fingers.

"Welcome back, angel," he whispered, grazing my cheek with his soft lips. His touch seemed so much more comfortable now, so soothing. I realized with a start that he no longer felt cold and statuesque. He felt…_normal_. I lifted my hand to his face, and was further amazed at how different he felt to me now. His skin was smooth and shimmering as always, but also soft, supple and…warm? I reminded myself that I was the one who had changed. I was now cold, like he was. And when I glanced down at our hands clasped tightly together, my pearlescent ivory skin was proof. I wanted to cry with joy and relief. We were equals at last.

I propped myself up on one elbow, noting that the bed I'd been lying on was covered with a beautiful antique quilt. I didn't know where we were, but the rustic surroundings were a far cry from the Cullens' spacious, modern home. My attention was quickly captured by Edward's glorious face again, and I reached out once more to explore his features more thoroughly. I examined every plane, every curve, every dimple as if for the first time. His eyes caressed my face almost as thoroughly, and I wondered what I looked like to him now. Had I become anywhere near as hauntingly lovely as Edward and the rest of the Cullens were?

"Edward," I whispered, testing my vocal chords. It sounded strangely foreign to my ears. It was still my voice, but more musical; an alto version of Alice's pure, bell-like soprano. "Are you okay? Carlisle said I hurt you…" I faltered, remembering his eerily colorless skin when I was forcibly removed from him by Dr. Cullen.

Edward shook his head and insisted, "I'm fine," as he threaded his fingers through the hair behind my ear. "Carlisle knew what to do. You didn't think I'd leave you here to fend for yourself without me, did you?"

"No," I answered. "Not now. But that's exactly what you were doing before, wasn't it? You were going to leave me. You were leaving with Victoria," I accused quietly.

Edward's face fell, his eyes unable to meet mine. "I wanted better than this for you," he finally said hollowly. He lifted my hand to his lips and pressed them there for a long moment.

"There _is_ nothing better than this…than us," I corrected him. I took his chin in my hand and lifted his face, willing him to look at me. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe this was my destiny? That I was meant for a different kind of life, with you?"

His lips parted as if to speak, but he faltered, remained silent. His mouth was so deliciously soft, so inviting. I leaned toward him slowly and kissed him, feeling the same tingle I always did when our lips met. In fact, it seemed to be magnified tenfold. His mouth opened with a relenting sigh, allowing my curious tongue entrance. He tasted every bit as delicious as before, and his scent still made me delirious, though not helpless as it had when I was human. I was quite certain I would never be helpless again.

I drew back suddenly as an alarming thought crossed my mind. Edward's brow furrowed in frustration as we parted.

"Do you miss it?" I whispered worriedly. "My warmth…my smell?"

His face registered relief, and a half-grin claimed his lips. "No," he assured me, cupping my face in his hand. "It's nice, not having to fight the blood thirst anymore." He gave me a long, serious look. "You're still my Bella. Nothing could ever change that."

And with that, his mouth closed over mine once more. I kissed him hungrily, amazed at the desire that surged through me. It seemed that every urge or need I'd had as a human was now intensified, and my craving for Edward was no exception. He moaned softly as my hand trailed down his throat and over his chest, my fingers deftly undoing the top buttons of his shirt before we were interrupted by a loud coughing noise.

Disoriented, I reluctantly broke away from Edward and we both turned our heads toward the sound. There, in the doorway of the cozy bedroom, stood Alice, beaming excitedly. Her beauty was almost as dazzling as Edward's to my new immortal eyes.

"You made it!" she exclaimed giddily. She turned her head and hollered, "Carlisle, come quick-Bella's finally awake!" She bounded into the room, brushed Edward aside and clutched me in a hug, nearly dragging me off the bed.

Then she held me at arm's length and gave me a once-over. "You look stunning," she announced. And then, more softly, "Was it horrible? The conversion?"

Both Alice and Edward stared at me with trepidation. Neither of them remembered what had happened to them. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Edward to feel any worse about having changed me. Carlisle entered the room at that moment, saving me from having to reply. Had he always been this extraordinarily handsome? I couldn't stop marveling at the way the world appeared to me now. It was as if my new, improved eyesight revealed an extra dimension that my human vision simply couldn't comprehend.

"How's my patient today?" he smiled, just as he had done weeks ago when I was in the hospital. He sat on the side of my bed, brandishing a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. Edward rose from his chair and pulled Alice back so that Dr. Cullen could examine me. He checked my eyes, ears, nose and throat as he would a human, which I found ludicrous now. Still, I accommodated him, wanting him to see for himself that I was fine. Better than fine.

"I hope the pain wasn't too unbearable," he said as he strapped the cuff tightly around my upper arm. "I gave you a couple of shots of morphine when your suffering seemed to be at its worst. It seemed to still you a bit so that you could rest more comfortably. I hope it helped."

I looked up at three expectant vampire faces, and I didn't have the heart to tell them the truth. I nodded slightly and managed to croak, "Thank you. I'm fine." My throat was beginning to feel parched. The fire seemed to have left a desert in its wake.

The doctor took my vitals, then announced both my blood pressure and heartbeat to be nearly non-existent. "Which is perfectly normal for a vampire…especially a newborn who needs to feed," he added. He looked up at Edward, his unspoken question heard easily in Edward's mind.

"Of course I'll take her hunting," Edward replied with a grin, then turned to me. "Are you thirsty?"

I nodded vigorously, and the others laughed. Edward took my hand and gently pulled me off the bed. I looked down and noticed I was still wearing the jeans and sweater I'd had on before. I realized I had no idea how much time had passed.

"What day is it?" I asked nervously.

"It's Friday morning," Edward replied. "You missed a day, I'm afraid."

I nodded, wondering how on earth I'd survived the burning agony for that long. Perhaps trial by fire was what it took to forge the kind of strength that now surged through my limbs.

Suddenly, panic seized me as I realized what else losing an entire day meant. "What about Charlie and Renee?" I gasped. "They must be frantic!"

"Don't worry, I took care of everything," Alice quickly interjected, taking my arm in hers and launching into an explanation. It seemed that I had become quite ill and feverish during the drive to Seattle, so Alice and Jasper brought me back to Forks and took me straight to see their father. Upon examination, Dr. Cullen discovered that I had contracted mononucleosis. He thought it best that he keep an eye on me for a few days, as my fever had spiked quite high. (The irony of this little white lie was not lost on me.) Though Charlie and Renee were concerned, they trusted Dr. Cullen implicitly, and believed him when he told my father how contagious I was. He advised Charlie to wait a few days before venturing over to the Cullen house to visit me.

"So, you see? I bought you some time to get used to your new vampire life," Alice concluded with a contented smirk.

"By giving me _mono_?" I retorted in dismay. "Great. Now my parents will think Edward gave it to me."

Edward and Alice only laughed at my irritation. Carlisle chimed in with the opinion that it was actually quite smart of Alice to come up with that story, because it might allow me to stay with the Cullens indefinitely, as mononucleosis could be quite serious.

"You may have to ease yourself back into life with your father," he told me, his face grave. "Your craving for human blood will be so strong that it could be dangerous if you're exposed to him without us there to intercede, if necessary. I know you don't want to risk hurting him, Bella."

"You're saying that you don't think I can control myself-even with my own father?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't imagine ever lifting a finger to harm him, even if the thirst was ten times worse than this.

The Cullens all nodded grimly in unison. I frowned, not believing it. Edward could read the stubbornness on my face, I was sure, because he clutched my hand firmly in his and said, "You haven't caught the scent of warm, living blood yet." He guided me out of the bedroom door and into a small but charmingly decorated living room, its cozy couches surrounding an inviting fireplace. "Let's take you into the wilderness for a bit before we even think about unleashing you on humanity, okay?"

"Fine," I agreed grumpily, still disbelieving. And then, changing the subject: "Where are we, anyway? What is this place?"

Carlisle's voice answered in reply from behind me. "Esme and I had it built as a present for Rosalie and Emmett, the first time we lived in this area, decades ago. It was their honeymoon cottage after their first marriage."

"_First_ marriage?" I questioned him.

Carlisle laughed in reply. "They like to renew their vows every ten or twenty years, and go off together on a honeymoon. They need their time apart from us every now and then," he smiled. "We all need that from time to time. We've all come out here to stay when we want some solitude."

"He means when we want to get busy," Alice whispered loudly with a giggle. "Family togetherness does have its drawbacks. Sometimes we like a little more privacy, if ya know what I'm sayin', and I think ya do," Alice winked.

Edward gave me a tiny grin and squeezed my hand. It felt like a thousand volts flew up my arm from the contact. If I hadn't been so unbearably thirsty, I might have urged Alice and Carlisle to leave Edward and I alone right then and there.

"Are the others back at the main house?" I asked politely, not wanting to give away my true thoughts.

"Esme was here with us all night watching over you," Carlisle said. "Alice came to relieve her this morning."

"And the boys? Rosalie?" I asked.

"They were making sure the nomads were properly disposed of," Dr. Cullen answered curtly.

I inhaled sharply at the mention of James and Victoria, then let out a relieved breath at the knowledge that they would no longer be able to come after the people I loved. I wondered exactly how the Cullens had "disposed of" the wayward vamps. I shot Edward a questioning look, and he whispered, "I'll explain later." Then, more loudly, "Shall we go find you some breakfast?"

I nodded, my mouth so dry that speaking was beginning to feel like a Herculean effort, even for a newly-minted immortal. Edward led me toward the front door and out into the crisp morning air. A fine layer of snow dusted the ground-the first snowfall of the year. I realized with delight that the cold didn't bother me; putting on a coat seemed superfluous at best.

"Edward!" I exclaimed with a start as we ventured out into the wintry forest. "When you came to Newton's to buy a coat and gloves…you never even needed them." I studied his sheepish face for a moment as the truth struck me. "You only came in to see me, didn't you! You didn't need any of that stuff you bought."

"You're just now figuring that out?" he said with a sly grin. "Everything I've done has been about you, from the start. I thought you knew that." He brushed my face gently with his hand.

I gazed at the pure emotion in his glistening blue eyes, shaking my head. "How did I get so lucky?" I whispered.

"You always get everything backwards," Edward sighed, shaking his head. "Now, why don't we check out your new skills? See if you can keep up with me," he challenged. And with that, he took off like a shot and disappeared into the brush ahead.

"Wait!" I hollered, sprinting after him, not knowing where he had gone. But as my feet propelled me forward, I caught his delicious scent in the air, wafting back to me from the path he'd taken. I closed my eyes for a moment and honed in on the smell I knew so well, now more pungent than I'd ever imagined it could be. Then I raced in that direction, my feet seeming to have minds of their own as I sped ever-faster through the brush. What had seemed a blur when I was human was now slowed down in surprisingly garish detail, every branch and bough of every shrub and tree easily discernible-and easily avoided-as my legs pumped furiously, yet effortlessly, beneath me.

Soon I saw Edward's graceful figure speeding full bore ahead of me. He was fast-but not as fast as me. I crept closer, reaching out for his shoulder, grabbing the soft fabric of his flannel shirt in my fist. It tore as easily as a petal from a flower, leaving me with a scrap of material in my hand. I heard Edward's laugh taunting me as a burst of speed carried him out of my grasp. Incensed, I raced after him, and before I knew it I was upon him. This time, I leapt on him and threw him to the ground. The feeling was exhilarating, being able to force his steel body to the earth with the sheer force of my own. What was once immovable stone to me was now a laughing, wriggling man in my grasp.

I rolled him over to his back, straddling him and pinning his shoulders to the snowy ground. "Say 'uncle!'" I commanded ruthlessly.

Still grinning, Edward reached up and stroked the side of my face with his hand, drawing me closer. "Never," he whispered wickedly. He lifted his head and kissed me hungrily, passionately. His hand closed around my neck and his other arm circled my waist, crushing me against him. I yielded immediately, dissolving in his kiss, in his arms. Our limbs entangled, our lips fused, Edward pulled me to the ground next to him, his tongue plumbing the depths of my mouth with a hunger and fierceness I'd never felt from him before. I suddenly realized that this was the first time he had been able to let himself go with me-to be reckless, bold, forceful. He groaned desperately, his breath caressing my face, his hands roaming up and down my body, groping and grasping me to him as if he couldn't get close enough. I could scarcely breathe or think. I could only revel in the sensation of our bodies finally coming together effortlessly, thoughtlessly.

I moaned with satisfaction as he rolled me on my back, pressing my body into the snow with his own. His hands were warm on my face-still a sweet surprise-as he covered me with kisses. My legs and arms wrapped around him, pulling him in. I wanted him to undo the zippers on our jeans and take me right there in the middle of the forest. I imagined what it would feel like to have him thrusting fearlessly inside me, making love to me the way we both wanted so desperately. I pressed my body tightly against his, writhing underneath him, kissing him wildly. God, how I loved and wanted this man, was all my addled mind could muster.

And then, through the fog of desire, I heard Edward's voice. "You're going to have to do much better than this. This was way too easy." He planted a tiny peck on my nose, and before I could gather my wits, he had hoisted himself up easily and stood grinning smugly down at me. He then took off running, giving me a taunting look over his shoulder at my shocked face as he disappeared.

"You…you tricked me!" I sputtered indignantly. "I'll get you, Edward Cullen!" I grunted as I leapt to my feet and chased after him, easily picking up his scent once more. I crept closer to him, reveling in the alien feeling of a body now effortlessly graceful and quick, where it had been so painfully awkward and clumsy before. His scent pulled me onward, and I heard his laughter as I closed in on him.

And then, suddenly, everything changed. A new, unfamiliar smell assaulted my nose. It was very different from Edward's musky allure. This scent was heavy, pungent, slightly gamey. My stomach growled angrily, twisting insistently in response to this new odor. Without thinking, I swiftly veered off course, toward the warm, earthy scent. Its pull was much too strong to resist. It wasn't long before I met the source of the smell. I stopped short before scaring the small group of deer in the trees ahead: two does and their young, searching the barren shrubs for food. A part of my mind scoffed at the ridiculous idea of attacking any of these animals in hope of assuaging the thirst that now throbbed dryly throughout my mouth and throat. That part of my brain was quickly silenced by the instinct that filled other every cell of my newly altered being: the overwhelming need to kill, to drink, to survive.

I was barely conscious of my actions after that. Too hungry to bother with strategy, I rushed the herd, quickly closing in on the slowest of the bunch as they ran for their lives. Its neck was torn and gushing into my mouth without me knowing quite how it had happened. All I knew was comfort and relief as the hot, delicious liquid filled my belly and cleared the cotton from my mouth.

When I was satisfied that I had drained every drop of blood from the animal, I finally rose to my feet, slightly dazed, staring down at the limp corpse before me. I couldn't fully comprehend what I had just done. Only when I looked at the blood soaking my sweater and staining my hands did I fully realize what it meant to be a vampire. In some ways, hunting and killing seemed perfectly normal; the natural order of things. And yet part of me was mildly repulsed at what I had just done; what I had become. I stared at my bloody hands for some time, trying to digest all the conflicting feelings that flooded me. The only thing I knew for sure was that the thirst was quenched, for the time being, and I was glad of that.

"Bella?" I heard my name uttered softly, uncertainly, behind me.

I turned slowly to face Edward. I wondered vaguely how much blood remained on my face, and wiped at it absently with the back of my hand. "Yes?"

He scrutinized me carefully. "Are you okay?"

I held up my scarlet hands. "As good as I can be."

He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and stepped toward me, pulling me gently in his arms. "The instinct takes over. It always does. This is what you are now. This is what I tried to protect you from." He rocked me gently and stroked my hair.

I buried my face in his flannel-covered chest and wrapped my arms around him. "It's not so bad," I said at last. "I was never a vegetarian, so it's not like this is so far-removed from the burger I ate the other day. It's just…hard to comprehend what I'm capable of now."

Edward nodded, his lips warm on my forehead. "It will take some time to get used to. But you will. You were incredible just now," he assured me.

"You saw?"

He nodded, and his smile was almost…proud. "I followed you when you changed course on me. You didn't even need my help-you just followed your instincts and went in for the kill. But now you know how the bloodlust can rule you-how the scent can take over your mind, your willpower. And you haven't even come across human blood yet."

I shook my head, thinking of how foolishly I'd assumed I would never hurt Charlie. Now I wasn't so sure. "What if I can't control myself?" I asked Edward worriedly. "What if I can never go back to my old life?"

"Don't jump the gun," he told me. He gently rubbed his thumb along my mouth and chin, and I knew he was wiping away blood. "After you, I never once slipped, even with Lauren. And I came so close…I don't know how I stopped myself. Just the thought of you, what I had done to you, kept me from ever repeating that mistake. You could be the same. I can't imagine you ever hurting your father, or your mother, either."

I nodded quietly, enjoying the feel of Edward's arms around me, calming me; his face buried in my hair.

"You know," he mused after a moment, "after you get used to the idea, hunting can be sort of…fun. Kind of a challenge. I like to kill predators, myself. But I've got nothing on Emmett. You should see him when he's facing off with a Grizzly."

"A Grizzly bear?" I exclaimed, looking up at Edward in surprise.

"I pity the bears, quite honestly. I think Emmett uses them for therapy. Every one of them becomes the bear that took him down when he was human."

I shook my head in wonder. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, after the way you saved me from that black bear last week. Just think…you won't ever have to save me again," I grinned up at him, pleased at the thought.

"I hope not. But I don't intend to let you out of my sight for too long, just in case," he smiled down at me. He kissed me gently and smoothed my hair back. "So…are you up for an adventure? I'm a little hungry for mountain lion today, I think."

My eyebrows raised as I tried to imagine Edward stalking such a sleek and powerful animal. I didn't have to use my imagination for long. I gamely followed Edward through the forest into mountainous territory, my nose constantly a-twitch with the tantalizing scents of various animals as we climbed. Edward slowed when he came across the odor he was searching for. I followed close behind, attempting to be as quiet and stealthy as he was. I looked around, trying to find the great cat in the rocky terrain around us; but I could discern nothing, even with my newly superior eyesight. I soon realized that Edward was looking upward, and my eyes followed his into the trees. There, perched lazily among the branches, was Edward's mark.

The great cat stared down at us with piercing yellow eyes, its long tail twitching in agitation, much like a common housecat's. It seemed to be appraising us warily. I doubted it would attack the both of us, sensing it was outnumbered.

Edward was having none of that. With lightning speed, he raced toward the tree, leaping up in an attempt the grab the cougar with his bare hands. The cat hissed in protest and leapt from its perch, hitting the ground running. Edward gave chase, and I followed quickly behind. The sight of Edward loping gracefully after his prey was truly a wonder to behold. When he seized the rear haunch of the animal, it yowled loudly and turned to fight. It swung a massive paw at Edward's neck, claws extended, shredding his shirt to rags. I could see the cat's confusion when its claws bounced harmlessly off of its victim's marble exterior. The mountain lion attacked again, trying to claim Edward's neck in its vice-like jaws; but the poor animal had never met a predator like this before. Edward grabbed the cat's fanged mouth in his hands, wrestling it to the ground; and with one swift movement, he wrenched the animal's head violently around, breaking its neck. Edward's razor-sharp teeth were sunk into its flesh before its body had time to fall limply aside. A clean bite to the carotid claimed the animal's life, and Edward fed as neatly as he had gone in for the kill. Scarcely any blood spilled until he removed his mouth from the animal's neck, and I stared in awe at his ability to so deftly drink the cat's blood with scarcely any of it marring his own face or hands.

"Come and finish it off, Bella," he beckoned me. "You're probably still thirsty."

I nodded, still stunned, and stepped forward to end what Edward had started. This blood tasted richer, more satisfying than that of the doe I had taken down earlier. He was right-predators did make a better meal.

When I'd finished, I felt a bit sluggish and overfull, as if I had made a glutton of myself. "Was that enough for you?" I asked Edward worriedly. "You left most of it for me."

"I don't need as much as I used to," he answered. "We can go again tomorrow. Maybe we'll bring Emmett and Jasper-they can teach you a few tricks."

I shook my head. "I don't think I'll ever be as skilled as you are," I said ruefully, glancing down at my heavily stained clothes. "Look at me, compared to you."

"You didn't see me after I killed my first bear," he said with a short laugh. "I was lucky I didn't have my jacket on at the time. It was the only thing that covered all the blood so that I could run to town and buy some clean clothes." He took my hand and helped me up. "Let's get you back to the cottage so you can clean up a little."

I nodded and took his lead. This time, he didn't race ahead. He stayed beside me whole way back as we seemed to fly silently through the frosty air. We leapt over huge rocks, gullies, and even a wide stream. Each time I laughed like a child, giddy to experience my newfound abilities. Edward seemed to be reliving his discoveries through me, since his had been tainted by fear of the unknown. Now he was able to enjoy his powers for the miracle they truly were, not dread them because he didn't know where they came from.

When we arrived at the cottage, we found it empty. Carlisle and Alice had apparently decided that Edward and I needed some quality time together. For some reason, nervousness prickled through me, as if I were a newlywed myself and this honeymoon cottage was made for Edward and me. I explored the place more thoroughly now, amused to find that nearly every built-in feature and piece of furniture was made of some kind of stone, wrought iron or heavy wood. It was clearly made to withstand the kind of abuse that creatures with ridiculous powers might accidentally inflict. When I returned to the bedroom to check the closet for clean clothes, my stomach quivered again at the sight of the bed. The antique quilt had been replaced by fresh linens in shades of deep plum, and strewn over the top were hundreds of rose petals. For the first time, I noticed that the bed frame was forged of heavy wrought iron, with ornate roses woven into its latticework pattern. Candles and flowers were placed strategically on every piece of heavy oak furniture. The room had been designed for romance, it was clear; and I was sure that Alice had decorated it for us with that in mind.

I reached out to touch one of the iron roses, and grimaced at the blood stains on my hands. I left the room quickly and headed for the bathroom, flicking on the light and approaching the sink. I gasped when I saw my reflection in the mirror. The blood was ghastly, to be sure; but that's not what made my jaw drop. Under the tangled, matted hair and dried blood was the face of a very beautiful girl.

I blinked several times to make sure it was still me. The reflection blinked back in unison. I reached my hand out to the mirrored face; only glass met my fingertips. It was still me, and yet, something was different. Subtle changes had refined every feature, as if distilling them to their very essence. My skin was poreless, creamy alabaster; my lips distinctly drawn upon it in a perfect pink bow below my button nose. My eyes had taken on a dazzling emerald hue that sparkled under the glow of the bathroom fixtures, and each orb was framed by long, sweeping, glossy black eyelashes topped with perfectly drawn eyebrows. It was like seeing a new and improved version of myself, as if a TV talk show host had just done a make-over on me to show the world my astonishing "before and after."

I was still staring like Narcissus when Edward appeared in the doorway behind me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded of his reflection.

"Tell you what?" He appeared to be clueless.

I finally pried my eyes from my own face and whirled to face him. "How much I've changed!"

His forehead creased in confusion. "But you haven't. Your eyes, maybe, a little. The color is more intense than before. But other than that…." he trailed off and shrugged, clearly not understanding my shock.

"Edward. Are you mad? I was plain before. Very, very average. I did not look like this. I mean, I haven't even showered the muck off and I can still see that I am…." I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

Edward could. "Beautiful?" he suggested. He shook his head in mild exasperation and gave me my favorite crooked grin. "Bella, you were always beautiful. You haven't changed that much. It's the way you see yourself that's changed."

I frowned and looked at my reflection once again. Then I looked at Edward, who was so breathtaking that I could barely believe he was real, let alone my lover and partner for all of eternity. I remembered that upon awakening this morning, he had looked even more amazing to me through my new vampire vision. He was right…the way I saw the world and everything in it had changed. And that included me.

He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to leave you alone for a bit…let you get used to all of this. Okay?"

I nodded slowly, trying to let this new truth sink in. Edward told me he was going to make a couple of phone calls, to check on the Cullens and make sure that they had taken care of James and Victoria.

At their mention, I grabbed Edward's arm as he turned to go. "What do mean when you say that? How did you 'take care of them?' How is our kind killed?"

His face was grim. "I couldn't bring myself to kill Victoria, even after everything she did. I let Rosalie and Alice do it. I'm sure Rosalie was only too happy to tear Victoria's head from her body. That's what I did to James." His voice was ghostly quiet, tense with hatred.

"You killed him yourself?" I asked. "I don't remember that…."

"After Carlisle brought me back to consciousness, I discovered that Emmett and Jasper were holding James for me. They thought I should get the satisfaction of wiping that smug smirk off of his face myself." His eyes seemed to be focused on the memory. "After everything he did to my family, and to you…I took his head in my hands and I twisted until it cracked like a walnut shell, and then I twisted some more. The girls had built a bonfire to destroy Victoria's remains, and I tossed his rotten skull on top and watched it burn." His lip curled in grim satisfaction. His eyes shifted back to the present, and looked into mine. "That's how you kill our kind. Rip them apart and burn the pieces."

I shuddered a little in spite of myself. "I'm glad you did it," I told him. "You deserved to see justice served. Even better that you got to serve it yourself."

He smiled wanly. "I thought I would feel that way. But it doesn't change what happened. It doesn't fix the mistakes I made. It doesn't change the fact that I failed you, Bella," he said softly.

I shook my head vehemently. "Stop it. I don't want to hear any more of this kind of talk from you. None of this was your fault. We were both in the wrong place at the wrong time, from the very beginning. We were both victims. But it doesn't matter, because I wouldn't change one thing that's happened. Not one. Do you understand me?" I gripped his face fiercely, my eyes blazing at his. "What we shared together was…sacred. I've never felt anything so primal, so deep, so…_important_ in my life. We are a part of each other now in a way that never, ever could have happened if we had lived normal human lives. So stop apologizing for giving me the most amazing, most cherished gift I'll ever receive." I felt the tears begin to fall, and I knew what they looked like without the help of the mirror.

Edward's face crumpled as he pulled me to him. "I wouldn't change it either," he whispered, his hands cradling my face, his lips inches from mine. "God help me…I wouldn't change a thing." The tears slid down his face and mingled with mine as he kissed me, over and over. He pushed me back against the marble wall, his arms winding tightly around me and keeping me from hitting the cold stone behind me. My hands clutched his hair greedily as my tongue searched his mouth, wanting to taste him, drink him in once again.

His breath came hard and fast as his hands worked at my clothes, lifting the bloody sweater over my head and tossing it to the floor. One quick yank from me and his already-torn shirt fell to pieces. Within seconds, our clothes made a trail to the shower. We stood under a stream of steaming hot water, letting it wash away all the blood, including our tears. We couldn't stop kissing and grasping at one another, both desperate to recapture the closeness that our shared blood had created. Edward shoved me against the shower wall, its marble smooth and harmless against my skin. His fingers found the sweet spot between my legs, and I moaned at his touch until he smothered my mouth once more with his. I reached down and stroked his erection, loving the feel of it growing and hardening under my touch. He slid his long fingers inside me and moved them in rhythm with my hand pumping his shaft. I whimpered as he plunged his hand deeper, stretching me, filling me, stroking the sensitive flesh deep inside. I grasped his cock more firmly, working it faster, feeling it thicken, wanting it inside me.

Edward didn't have to be a mind-reader to know my thoughts. He pulled his fingers from me and grasped my thighs firmly, pushing me against the wall as he lifted me up. My arms wound around his neck, my legs around his waist; and I clung to him as he impaled me with his cock. I gasped at the feel of him so deep inside me, gravity pulling my body down as he filled me up. He held me effortlessly against the wall, and for once he didn't have to worry about hurting me as he thrust inside me, deep and hard, again and again. Our moans and cries mingled with the sound of the running water as it warmed our skin and trickled down our writhing bodies.

We came quickly, together, in a series of shuddering gasps and groans, our eyes locked in a grip as tight and passionate as that of our bodies. I couldn't stop the tears that flowed again, this time from the sheer intensity of what we shared. My love for him was almost an ache inside me, it was so deep, so profound.

Edward seemed to understand. He said nothing, just kissed my tears away and gently twirled me under the cleansing water, our bodies still joined together, as we slowly came down from our high. He finally set my quivering body back on its feet, but he didn't let me go. We held each other for several long, perfect moments, neither of us wanting to break the spell we created every time we came together.

So we didn't. We made love all day, and all night. We christened every room, every piece of furniture in the cottage, in every way possible, it seemed. Edward laid me out on the dining room table, lifting my legs up and kissing his way down the insides of my calves and thighs, his mouth finally working its magic between my legs until I begged him to take me. I rode him mercilessly on the living room sofa, and later the loveseat, in the glow of a roaring fire in the fireplace. He went down on me in the kitchen; I returned the favor in the den. He bent me over the breakfront, rattling the dishes as he pounded me senseless. We were high on love, drunk with lust, as we worshipped and ravished each other's bodies in turn. We never tired; we never required any rest or recuperation. Vampire love existed in a different realm from human love, and we were blissfully lost in its limitless possibilities.

By the time we reached the bedroom, the rose petals had wilted. We contemplated lighting the candles, but never quite got around to it. Edward was too interested in studying the contrast between my ivory skin and the silky garnet comforter beneath it, bathed in the blue-tinged moonlight that streamed through the window. He ran his hands slowly down my body…from my neck, over my breasts and abdomen, between my legs and eventually to my feet…where he gave each a nice little massage. No matter now many times he touched me, my body instinctively arched and strained to meet his gorgeous hands, and he loved this about me. He trailed his fingers up my legs once again, making me squirm as he reached my groin. The small of my back lifted, pushing my belly into his probing fingers. My ribs stretched beneath his silken touch; my nipples hardened as my breasts filled his palms.

"If I weren't already dead, I'd swear you're trying to kill me," I moaned as his hands stroked my neck and face. His grin was slightly smug as he reached down to kiss me, and my lips yearned for his, opening to let him in. My greedy hands reached for his rock-hard shoulders, trying to pull him closer. I loved nothing more than the feel of his body pressed to mine, especially now that he could actually do such a thing with impunity. But Edward was in a teasing mood, and he deliberately held back, kissing me lightly, darting his tongue playfully in and out of my mouth. Finally my frustration won out, and I locked my arms and legs around him, pulling him down decisively. Then I rolled him over so that I was on top, and kissed him the way I wanted to: deeply and thoroughly. He laughed a little when I finally relinquished his lips and moved my mouth down the side of his face to his neck. I was determined to make him respond to my touch the way I did his.

I trailed my fingers down his thick neck, over his broad shoulders and down to his chest, stroking the wisps of light brown hair that grew there. His sharp intake of breath expanded his pecs beneath my hands, and I grinned in satisfaction. The flat planes of his stomach pushed against my fingers as he breathed deeply again; and by the time my fingers traced the deep 'V' that marked the flesh over his hipbones, his pelvis twitched responsively under my touch.

"See? Two can play this game," I teased, stroking his thighs as I watched his engorged member grow at the mere prospect of my touch.

"You're right," he replied huskily. "But I'm still faster than you." Quicker than I could blink, he managed to remove his body from under mine, letting me land face-down into the petal-strewn coverlet. Seconds later his body was half-straddled over mine, holding me down, as his hands began their relentless exploration of my back just as they had my front. The outraged feminist in me wanted to fling him off of me, especially now that I could actually accomplish the deed. But the sensualist in me gave in to the waves of pleasure that his hands and lips generated as he worked his way down my body. By the time his hands grasped my cheeks firmly, I was already spreading my legs for him, begging for the feel of his tongue tickling the flesh between them.

The comforter muffled my endless moans as he probed deep inside me with his tongue and fingers. I lost all control of my body, my back arching and legs opening wide to meet the source of such ecstasy. Finally Edward rose to his knees, grasped my hips and pulled them upward until my weight was on my knees as well. I felt the hardness of his cock between my legs, rubbing up and down the length of my clit until I practically begged him to slide it inside me. He teased me with the head inside my opening until I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed back against him until he was deep inside me, and we both groaned loudly at the sensation.

Any self-consciousness I possessed melted away as Edward slid slowly, deeply, in and out of me, his hands stroking my body up and down as he did so. I gave myself over entirely to the almost unbearably intense pleasure each time he filled me up, my hands gripping the comforter so hard the fabric felt as if it might disintegrate in my hands. His thrusts came harder, faster, sharper; and each time his body met mine, it forced a moan from me that I couldn't hold back. His fingers were firm on my ass, massaging me, and I loved the feel of what his hands could do when he no longer had to be careful not to harm me.

I wondered if he could actually read my mind now, because no sooner than I'd had that thought, his hand came down hard across my left cheek, causing me to cry out in surprise. The bigger surprise was how good the stinging reverberation felt, shaking me down to the core, where I felt the familiar pressure begin to build. He thrust several more times before I felt it again, his hand making a resounding slap against my right cheek this time. I gasped and groaned Edward's name, my body squirming with pleasure that I couldn't conceal.

He rammed me mercilessly after that, punctuating the effort with a few more well-placed slaps until I climaxed so hard that the poor comforter finally tore into ribbons between my lethal fingers. I felt Edward's hands, firm yet gentle, rubbing up and down my quaking legs and torso, massaging me, calming me afterward. He was maddeningly good at not only making me give in completely to his desires, but making me realize that they were mine as well.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" he murmured in my ear as he leaned over me, his breath tantalizing on my neck.

"As sexy as you, I hope," I sighed, rolling over beneath him and staring up at his gorgeous face. I was completely intoxicated by him and what he had just done to me, and I reached up to pull him closer. He finally gave in and let his body rest on mine, and I relished the weight of every inch of him pressing me into the bed. "Do you know how good it feels to have you let go?" I asked him, combing my fingers through his unruly hair. "To know that you can be free with me…that you don't have to be careful anymore…that you don't have to hold anything back?"

His eyes widened and he let out an incredulous laugh. "As a matter of fact, I do know how good it feels," he smiled, stroking my hair in return. "I was thinking the same thing about you. You _are _different, somehow, and it has nothing to do with your appearance. It's the way you look at me now. Unafraid. Like you finally, truly trust me."

I frowned up at him, smoothing his hair back from his temples. "I was never afraid of you. I always trusted you. You just never believed it."

A wry smile flitted across his lips. "You trusted me as much as you could. But I needed to earn it. I had to prove to you that I would never deliberately hurt you again. I had to prove to you what I was made of."

I sighed and let my fingers fall down his neck before wrapping my arms around him. "You did that, and so much more. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. When James kidnapped me, all I could think was what an idiot I'd been for ever imagining that you could have been responsible for the things he did."

"Sshhh," he silenced me, his fingers lightly touching my lips. "I don't want you to relive any of that. It's over, it's done. He tricked us all. But the truth always comes out, and right prevails. I do believe that."

"So do I, now." I gazed up at him, wondering if he had any idea how much I loved him, and how grateful I was for this moment-and every moment to come-with him.

"I do know," he whispered. "I'm grateful too. More than words could ever say."

My eyes flew open in surprise. "Edward…did you just read my mind?"

He looked confused for a moment. "Didn't you say that out loud?"

"No!" I exclaimed excitedly. "I thought we'd never be able to share our thoughts again, after…after you turned me," I stammered, not able to find words for the profound experience that had changed us both. "That moment when we could communicate without words, the two of us…like one being…I thought we'd never get that back."

He shook his head ruefully. "We probably never will…not like that," he said. "But I did hear you before that, when that bastard had you tied up in the cabin…I heard you as plain as day, calling to me for help." His face twisted with pain at the memory.

"I was trying so hard…I wanted my words to reach you," I told him. "But just now, I wasn't trying at all!"

His grin was irrepressible. "Maybe I'll get inside your head yet, Bella Swan," he smirked before smothering me with happy kisses.

"Isn't it enough that you're in my heart?" I replied, letting my hands roam down his body. "And in my soul?"

"Almost," he whispered, his lips trailing down my neck and across my chest. I felt him harden again between my legs, and I rubbed my thigh against him to help him along.

"I know another place I'll let you inside," I murmured suggestively. "A place I think you really need to come."

"You do, hmmmm?" he mumbled, his words lost between my breasts. "You want me to come inside you?"

"You have no idea how much."

"Then just think about it, and I'll see if I can figure it out," he smiled as he nudged my thighs apart with his hips.

"If you do it right, I won't be able to think at all," I replied wickedly.

"Oh, that sounds like a challenge if I've ever heard one," he grinned. He slid his shaft in me to the hilt with one smooth stroke, looking very pleased at the sound I made when he did it. "What was that, Bella? I'm not sure I heard you correctly." And with that, he withdrew and thrust into me again, forcing another groan from my lips.

I reached over my head and grabbed the iron latticework of the headboard to brace myself. "If I can still answer you with intelligible words, then you must be slacking," I taunted him, wrapping my legs around him and waiting for his next assault.

His eyes narrowed and he studied me a moment. "I don't know. I think maybe you like it this way a little too much. Maybe I should just make you wait for a bit." He withdrew from me then, and hovered over me a moment, not touching me. My body writhed uncomfortably under the empty, cold air. He lowered his face near mine, his lips tantalizingly close. "What do you want me to do, Bella?"

I glared up at him, annoyed that he had turned the tables on me again. "Go fuck yourself," I grumbled, wriggling out from under him. I felt his hand close around my waist and wrench me back before I could scoot further away.

"I'd rather fuck you," he stated, grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head. "Better yet, I'd rather make love to you and make you feel as incredible as you make me feel," he amended sweetly, covering my mouth with a long, heady kiss before I could protest. By the time he was done, all my angry retorts were forgotten.

"I really hate you sometimes," I lied, sulking.

"I love you," he replied, kissing my cheek.

"You're full of it."

"Full of love." He kissed my earlobe.

"What kind of fool do you take me for?"

"A fool for love, hopefully," he replied, trying to suppress a giggle as he kissed my collar bone. I couldn't help but laugh myself, unable to sustain any sort of irritation with him.

"I'm a fool for you," I admitted, unable to keep my fingers out of his lustrous hair. "And I don't care. I'm not ashamed to say it."

He raised his face to mine, his smile melting into something more serious. "You don't have to be. You know I'd do anything for you."

I nodded, tracing his face with my fingers, swimming in the dark blue sea of his eyes. "I know. You already have."

His hands threaded through my hair as he stared down at me, his gaze so full of emotion that it pierced me to my core. He said nothing more. Instead, he kissed me so tenderly that it took my breath away. And when he made love to me, it was so slow and sensual that I felt as if I were melting beneath him, our bodies undulating together as gently and surely as waves washing up on a beach. We rolled languidly all over the rose-covered bed, each of us taking turns on top, our bodies joined in perfect unison no matter how we moved. And when he finally came inside me, I made sure to memorize the look on his face in the pale light streaming through our bedside window. Never had he looked so exquisitely, achingly beautiful as the moment he lost himself in me, and never did I feel so at one with him when I did the same in return.

The weekend went on like this; a honeymoon of sorts. We spent the mornings hunting, and the rest of the day and night laughing, talking, and making love. When I considered the idea that this would be my life for infinity, I could scarcely wrap my mind around such sublime happiness.

But eventually, real life began to burst our lovely bubble. Alice showed up at the cottage on Sunday to inform us that Charlie had been phoning the Cullen household twice a day, asking to speak with me. They had only been able to make up so many excuses before they had to give in and tell Charlie he could stop by to see me. He would be at the Cullen house at 4 p.m. I had exactly four hours to prepare.

I stared at Edward and Alice in a panic. How on earth would I be able to withstand the temptation of human blood on only my third day as a newborn vampire? Edward was sure I would be fine, and Alice agreed with him vehemently, though I caught her sneaking a questioning look at her brother right afterward. He repeated that I had fed plenty this morning, and that I would never dream of hurting my own flesh and blood, no matter what the circumstances were. I tended to agree with him, but I was still trembling with dread the entire afternoon.

We headed to the Cullen home, where my new vampire family greeted me excitedly-well, all of them except Rosalie. The rest tried to put me at ease, giving me tips on how to stop breathing so that I could avert the bloodlust before it started. They assured me they would all stay close by, and would stop me from harming Charlie if I lost control. Emmett even tried to take my mind off of things by challenging me to a couple of video games, but I couldn't concentrate worth a damn and lost repeatedly. Jasper finally suggested that we arm-wrestle instead, and due to my newborn strength, I managed to slam Emmett's beefy arm to the boulder within seconds. (Esme had made us go outside so as to spare her furniture.) That made me feel a little better, though Emmett was less than pleased.

As 4 o'clock approached, I arranged myself on the living room sofa and pulled the quilt over me, trying to look sickly. Then I waited nervously for my father to arrive. Edward perched on the arm of the sofa next to me, looking remarkably calm and casual, but I knew better. He was poised for action, his eyes sharp and alert.

I didn't have to wait long. I could smell Charlie before he ever entered the foyer. I grabbed Edward's hand tightly when the pungent scent wafted under the door, more beguiling by far than any of the animal scents I had come across in the woods.

"You'll be fine," Edward whispered, rubbing his thumb reassuringly in the palm of my hand.

Alice ushered my father into the room, where he approached me tentatively. He looked worried, even haggard. I immediately felt guilty for enjoying the past few days as much as I had when my father had clearly been so concerned about me. And I also knew in that instant that I would never, ever turn on him, no matter what my vampire instincts bid me to do.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted him, trying to sound like my normal self, though I wasn't sure how to do that anymore. "I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm getting better, really."

"You still look awfully pale, Bells," Charlie replied uncertainly, his brows forming a concerned 'V.' "Dr. Cullen said you're still pretty contagious, but…." he faltered for a moment as he took a step toward the couch.

"It's okay, Dad. You can still give me a hug," I invited him, giving Edward's hand a reassuring squeeze before letting it go and reaching out to my father. Charlie came and sat next to me on the sofa, gathering me up in his warm embrace. The pulse of his neck pounded in my ears, the perfume of his blood making me delirious for a moment. I literally stopped inhaling, as the Cullens had taught me. It felt odd at first, but I found that I wasn't gasping for air, and the scent was almost tolerable.

"You scared your mom and I, you know," he scolded, reluctantly letting me go and settling on the chair next to the sofa. "How in the heck did you contract mono, anyway? _He_ looks all right," Charlie commented, giving Edward a look of aggravation.

"I don't know, Dad," I shrugged, trying to make my voice sound weak. "Maybe I drank out of a dirty glass somewhere by mistake." I coughed a couple of times for emphasis.

"Probably at that damned bar. That's no place for a high school girl to be hanging out," he grumbled, giving Edward a healthy glare again. Edward smiled sheepishly but held his tongue.

"Well, I won't be able to go out for awhile, so you won't have to worry about it," I replied, adding another cough, and wondering if I was laying it on a little thick. Carlisle entered the room at that moment, and I sighed with relief, which was a mistake. When I inhaled again, I caught a whiff of my father's all-too-inviting blood and a predatory growl began to rumble in my chest. I grabbed Edward's hand again and threw myself into a fake coughing fit to cover up what had happened.

Charlie instinctively rose from his chair to care for me, but Carlisle beat him to it. He handed me a cup of what looked like warm tea and told me to take a sip. I faked it admirably, while Dr. Cullen explained to my father what I'd been through the past few days, and what I could expect as I recovered from my "illness." Charlie listened to Carlisle's convincing story, and by the time the discussion was done, it was decided that it would be best for everyone if I stayed with the Cullens indefinitely, until I was stronger and able to go back to school. Alice and Jasper would bring me my homework so that I could try to stay caught up for the rest of the semester, and hopefully I would be able to take my midterms before Christmas break. I stared with almost reverent awe at how smoothly Carlisle operated. By the time my father left, I had his full blessing to stay here at this house in the woods as long as was necessary, with the hope that I'd be able to spend Christmas at home with him. I agreed that this was the best plan, naturally; and holding my breath, I hugged Charlie once again before he took his leave.

I let out a huge, relieved sigh as the door shut behind him, then turned to Carlisle and threw my arms around him. "You were amazing. Thank you," I said gratefully.

He gave me a long hug in return and said simply, "I would do the same for any of my family." He looked at me with fatherly affection, and I felt my cold blood warm in response. I glanced at Edward, and I could see how touched he was at Carlisle's words. Even though Dr. Cullen was ten years our senior at best, it was clear that he was a father figure for Edward, and Edward a son to Carlisle. I felt as much a part of their family as I did my own, now that I was one of their kind. I began to feel like there might be a way to bridge my two worlds, at least for a little while. The inevitable problems could wait a few years, until I could find a way to explain my unchanging appearance.

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas passed quickly. The Cullens taught me the finer points of hunting, though of course my favorite partner was Edward. He mesmerized me with his grace-so lithe and quick on his feet that his prey never stood a chance; so neat and clean going in for the kill that the animal rarely suffered. And naturally, Edward barely had any blood on his hands afterward. I tried to emulate him as best I could. Though I had lost the clumsiness that had plagued me while human, I could never hope to match Edward's feline skill. I found him so seductive while hunting that our excursions often ended with a mad dash to the cottage so that we could satisfy our other hungers after we fed.

Charlie visited the Cullen household at least twice a week. Each time, I donned sweats and tried to look wan and tired. I already had "pale" down pat. Though the smell of my father's blood was still maddening, my love for him always superseded my vampire cravings. The Cullens marveled at my restraint, but they still made sure I was well-fed before Charlie's visits. I often made Edward sit with me, just in case I lost control and did something horrendous. I finally had an inkling of just how difficult it had been for him to love with me when I was human. Knowing firsthand what his struggles had been only made me more in awe of his character. He was truly the finest man I would ever know.

I completed my first semester of senior year by doing the schoolwork online, for which Jasper and Alice razzed me endlessly, since they still had to attend class. I was even able to take my finals via computer, and I aced them, getting nearly straight A's. Edward was so impressed that he decided to take my finals, too, just to see how many answers he could get right. When he surprised me by doing nearly as well as I did, he admitted to having sneaked peeks at my textbooks all along. I told him he should enroll at FHS for the spring semester and graduate with me in the spring.

"Just think, Edward…we could go to high school together! Then you could be with me all day, holding my hand between classes, sneaking kisses during lunch…it would be sooo romantic," I teased him.

He scoffed outwardly at the notion, but I could tell that he was seriously considering it. There was no reason that he couldn't rejoin the human world if the rest of us were doing it. The Cullens had graduated high school and college time and time again, simply for the joy of the human experience. Eternity was a long time, and there was so much to learn, so much to know. Edward was far too bright and talented to serve up drinks in a bar forever, and he knew it, too.

That Christmas was one of the most joyous ones I had ever spent. Renee and Phil came to stay for a week, and I split my time between family get-togethers at Charlie's and the Cullens' houses. Winter sweaters made it easy to keep my cold skin from alerting my human parents to the change in me, and Alice's make-up tips helped give my cheeks a more lifelike glow. I even learned to pretend-eat, which consisted of chewing small bits of food before quickly disposing of them in a napkin on my lap. My fast movements were easily missed by slower human eyes, I found.

Edward and I exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve at the cottage, eager to spend some time alone before the family gatherings the next day. My gift for him was easy: I made a beautiful photo album with all the photographs of Edward's human family and friends that I had pilfered from his Iowa home when he wasn't looking. He was as shocked and touched as I thought he'd be, especially since his amnesia was cured and he now had full memories of his life before. Carlisle had a theory that when Edward fed on my changing vampire blood, it helped finish his own conversion, since the small amount of Victoria's blood hadn't been able to heal him. It made perfect sense to Edward and me. We seemed to have been made to complete each other.

Edward gave me a beautiful necklace, the figure of an angel, exquisitely wrought of white gold in painstaking detail. He said it reminded him of me, and how I had saved him. He always seemed to conveniently forget that he had done the same for me, time and time again. I was thankful that I had forever to remind him.

The week between Christmas and New Year's was a blissful blur of presents, laughter and love-making, the latter of which Edward and I managed to sneak in between family obligations and hunting. We couldn't seem to go for more than a day or two without craving each other almost as much as the blood we were forced to subsist on. It was a dilemma that didn't bother either of us in the slightest. Sneaking "quickies" in the closet or the garage only heightened the passion of the forbidden. The Cullens were obviously on to us, but the Swans were none the wiser, I hoped.

The Cullens invited Charlie, Renee and Phil over for a New Year's Eve get-together, but Charlie had already accepted Billy Black's invitation to a party on the Quileute reservation, and Renee and Phil decided to head back to Florida a day early. I guessed that Mom felt that she and her new husband had worn out her welcome with Dad, and I knew she was missing the warm weather.

Emmett had to work at Jake's that evening, and Rosalee decided to hang out at the bar to kiss him at midnight. The rest of the Cullens and I watched movies and played board games at their house. I almost laughed out loud at the sight of half a dozen vampires, myself included, competing for play Monopoly money and arguing over Trivial Pursuit questions. But I loved the notion that even supernatural creatures such as ourselves could still lead relatively normal lives, and not be forced to live as outcasts and nomads, the way Victoria and James had.

We watched the midnight countdown on TV, and smooched our partners when the Times Square ball dropped.

"Happy New Year, Bella," Edward whispered as he leaned down to kiss me. When I looked at the love and happiness on his face as our lips met, I was sure that I would never be more at peace than this, no matter how long I lived.

As we broke apart from our midnight kiss, Edward's eyes began sparkling mischievously.

"Come on. I have a surprise for you," he said, his expression oddly pensive, yet excited. He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the stairs, up to his room. The moonlight streamed through the wall of windows, reminding me of the night he'd tried to seduce me here-the night his secrets had been revealed. I had reacted quite badly, my trust in him broken. Things were so very different now. I was sure that whatever he might spring on me, I would never respond to him that way again.

He sat on the divan and pulled me down next to him. He grasped both my hands in his and gave me a long, serious look.

"Bella, I lied to you about something earlier this week," he said gravely, his eyes repentant.

My heart began to thud uneasily. "Okay. What is it?" I tried to quell the mild dread that surged in my chest.

"I still…" he halted, pursing his lips, his face chagrined. My dread began to increase as he fought to continue. "I still…have one more present to give you," he finished, his poker face breaking into a teasing grin.

I exhaled in relief and gave him a playful swat on the arm. "God, Edward, don't scare me like that!"

"All right, I won't scare you like that. I'll scare you like this instead." And from his shirt pocket, he procured a small, dark box with rounded corners, the kind you get from expensive jewelry stores. He placed it in my hand and looked at me expectantly. An absurd wave of panic traveled from my scalp to my toes as my eyes dropped from his to the tiny velvet box nestled in my hand.

I couldn't keep my fingers from shaking as I opened the lid, and I let out a ragged gasp when I saw the contents. Nestled in the box's satin confines was one perfect, sparkling diamond set in a slender band of gold. I gaped at it for a solid minute, and then at Edward's hopeful face.

"Edward," I said incredulously, "this is a diamond."

"Yes." He gave me his most disarming crooked grin, his eyes dancing with anticipation.

"A diamond _ring_."

"Yes." His grin broadened.

"As in…." My mouth couldn't form the words.

"Yes?" he prompted, waiting for me to finish my thought.

"It looks like….an _engagement_ ring," I finally sputtered.

"Yes," he agreed, and I could feel my eyebrows reaching for my hairline. "It was my mother's," he explained quietly. "We found it on James when we cleaned out his pockets. Apparently he removed the valuables from his victims, either as souvenirs, or to pawn. He still had this on him, luckily for me. I recognized it right away. I can't wear it, obviously; so I'm hoping you'll do me the honor."

I looked at the tastefully elegant ring and was elated that Edward had found it. I was also humbled that he would entrust it to me. But on top of that, I was petrified at what it represented. Was he really asking what I thought he was?

"It's incredibly beautiful," I told him truthfully. "But…what does it mean?"

He raised his eyebrow at me as if I were mentally impaired. "All right, you're going to make me do this the old-fashioned way, aren't you?" he sighed. "I was trying to avoid this, because it doesn't strike me as your style. But you've left me no choice."

Edward took the ring box from me, grinned impishly and got down on one knee. Before I could protest, he grabbed my hand and pressed it between his own.

"Isabella Swan, you are the most important person in my life. You have been since the day you found me, and you always will be. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. I can't imagine living the rest of eternity without you." His words, and face, were achingly sincere. The urges to cry, laugh, faint, or possibly vomit fought with each other inside me as he uttered the unforgettable words: "Will you marry me?"

I stared at him dumbly. Of course I wanted to spend forever with him. That was a given. My love for him was so unwavering that any other possibility seemed ludicrous. But marriage? _Now?_

"Edward, I'm only eighteen!" I blurted, knowing how ridiculous the argument was even as it left my lips.

He merely laughed. "If you're going to use that as an excuse, it's going to be a very long eternity together. You've got about a year before I call you on it."

"Okay, fine…you know what I mean, though. I haven't even finished high school yet! I mean, we have plenty of time, don't we? Why rush into something like…_marriage_?" I uttered the word as if it were a curse."I wasn't suggesting we rush into it. There is such a thing as a long engagement, you know," he argued. He pulled the ring out of the box, then took my left hand. "There's no one else I want to wear this ring, ever. Just try it on to see if it fits." And with that, he slipped the diamond on my left ring finger. It was slightly loose, but it fit well enough. I looked at the sparkling rock, gleaming more brilliantly than my own skin under the moon's gentle rays. I had to admit that I liked the look of it. I was surprised to discover that I liked the feel of it even more. But when I thought of walking down the aisle in the white dress, with my friends and family dressed in fluffy meringue gowns and stuffy tuxedoes waiting at the end of it, I immediately began to panic.

I took a deep breath to collect myself, and looked down into Edward's gorgeous, expectant face. "Can I think about it?" I finally asked weakly.

To my relief, he only smiled. He didn't seem put off at all. "Of course. In the meantime, keep it. It's yours." He kissed my hand reverently, then rose to his feet and looked down at me, grinning broadly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded archly. "I didn't say 'yes,' you know."

His grin turned into a smirk. "But you will."

"You are awfully sure of yourself, Mr. Cullen."

"No, I'm sure of _us. _A love like ours will prevail over a little case of cold feet." He leaned down and gave me a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose. "Not every marriage ends up like Charlie and Renee's, you know," he reminded me.

"You _are_ getting better at reading my mind. I wasn't even trying that time."

"Neither was I," he laughed. "I don't have to be a mind-reader to know why marriage isn't your favorite institution. But my parents were very happy, and so are Carlisle and Esme…and Emmett and Rosalie…and Jasper and Alice."

"Peer pressure is not going to work on me. Should I jump off a bridge because all my friends did it too?"

"Sure. You can jump off of anything you want to, now, and walk away unscathed."

I rolled my eyes at him while he chuckled some more. He reached down and took my left hand in his, turning it slightly, making the diamond sparkle. "I like how this looks on you," he whispered softly. He pulled me to my feet and gazed deeply into my eyes, giving me the disarming look he was so good at. "Marry me, Bella."

My heart began to race just as it did when I was human and Edward gave me that look. I took another deep breath and replied, "Edward, you know how much I love you. You know that I belong to you already, with or without this ring, or a piece of paper. But if this is what you really want, then…I will say 'yes'…eventually."

He groaned in frustration, shaking his head, his smile exasperated. "That's fine," he said evenly. "I'm a patient man. And time is definitely on my side with this one."

His self-satisfied smirk returned, while I gave him another eye roll for good measure.

"You just ended my search for the perfect New Year's resolution," he exclaimed suddenly, his eyes brightening. "I resolve to keep asking you to marry me until you accept my proposal, no matter how long it takes."

I couldn't help but laugh at his persistence. "Okay, then I'll make one, too. I resolve to let you keep asking me to marry you…and someday, I _will_ answer 'yes.'"

"Is that a promise?" he urged, wrapping his arms around me.

I studied Edward's beautiful features, sparkling like pale blue silver under the watchful moon. He still looked like a work of art to me, exactly as he had the night fate brought me to him. It was unfathomable to me that I had ever forgotten this face; unthinkable that I could ever live without it. I stroked his cheek gently and finally uttered the word he'd been waiting to hear.

"Yes."

_The End..._

_almost! Epilogue from EPOV to come soon. _


	16. Epilogue

**Holy cow...I can't believe this is the end! My baby is all grown up. *sniff* **

**I hope everyone who has made it this far has enjoyed reading Amnesia as much as I enjoyed writing it. I never even knew I had it in me. It's nice to make those kinds of discoveries!**

**Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited or otherwise supported (pimped!) me along the way. Your feedback was invaluable to me.**

**I am forever indebted to "The Chain"-you know who you are!-who have encouraged and supported me, corrected my niggling mistakes, given me ideas that helped the story take shape, and helped me keep going when I was tempted to quit. I love you all so much, there are no words. And special thanks to Kathy, who uttered the words, "maybe he fell and has amnesia, and may not know he needs blood to survive." If not for that, this story may never have happened; or it certainly would have had a different plot altogether.**

_**Edward**_

"You know, this graduation ceremony would go a lot more quickly if your last name were 'Cullen' instead of 'Swan.'" I gave Bella a grumpy look.

"It wouldn't go any faster," she corrected me, her face twisted with concentration as she stood before the mirror, trying to bobby-pin her graduation cap in place atop her head. "We'd just be able to pass the time more quickly by whispering about everyone behind their backs."

"Exactly my point," I sighed, hating the fact that we would be seated alphabetically halfway across the stadium from each other during the sure-to-be-interminable UAA graduation.

"Tell you what: I'll let you read my mind during the ceremony, and I'll promise to make it worth your while," her reflection grinned at me, tugging on the mortar board to make sure it wouldn't budge.

"Thank God for graduation robes," I chuckled, quirking a suggestive eyebrow. "They should be able to hide a multitude of sins."

It had seemed like only yesterday that we were moving into the dorms, Bella rooming with Angela Weber, and I in a single room in the boys' wing. Needless to say, she spent quite a bit of time in my room, and Angela was only too happy to have some quiet study time. Charlie and I were of the same mind on the matter of Bella's education. We both wanted her to have the complete college experience, as much as was possible. And for that matter, I figured I owed the same to Edward Masen, even though I still felt a certain distance from my human life, regardless of the return of my memories. So Bella and I suffered through two years of dorm life before getting our own apartment together junior year. Charlie was none too pleased at that development, but by then he had given up hope of his daughter ever having eyes for any man but me.

It wasn't too difficult scheduling classes late in the afternoon and evening so that we wouldn't have to worry about missing them due to the unfortunate presence of sunshine. During the winter months, there was barely any daylight to worry about anyway. I found work in a bar similar to Jake's so I'd have some spending money while I studied music and art. Carlisle had insisted on paying my tuition to the University of Alaska, with the only caveat that I keep a B average. I rewarded his generosity with nearly straight A's, graduating in the top 10 percent of my class. In my free time I wrote songs and performed them on the Gibson my dad had given me, loving the freedom of expression that came with performing to the small but appreciative bar crowd.

Bella made a little extra money doing some free-lance writing while studying English and biochemistry. She also began journaling more and more, and soon had pages filled with incredible stories about fantastical creatures with superhuman talents. When I read them, I was positive she had a surefire top-selling work of "fiction" on her hands. Her goal after graduation was to get her first book published. As for me, I would be touring America over the summer with a group of college musicians as their pianist. Bella was excited to see the country with me while looking for free-lance writing jobs. After that, it was anyone's guess. We would simply play it by ear.

We had managed to build as normal a life as possible for ourselves, all things considered. We often joked that if we became famous someday, we'd eventually have to disappear and become reclusive, never-seen-in-public, eccentric artists. And then, after a few decades, we could reinvent ourselves and start all over again.

But for now, we were still passing for young-looking college grads, ready to go out and make our mark on the world. I had spent the last four years entreating Bella to marry me, and she had spent them teasing me mercilessly by putting me off. It became our secret running joke; I coming up with inventive ways to ask her, she finding new ways to refuse. I threw paper airplanes with proposals written on them to her in lecture hall. I shouted the request through noisy bars. I spelled it out in shaving cream letters on the bathroom mirror, even though I had to buy a can of shave cream especially for the task. I even had the scoreboard at a home hockey game flash the question in neon lights: _Bella, will you marry me? _And with the game-cam pointed right at us in the crowd, she shook her head and answered, "Someday," before I cut her off with a kiss. With endless amounts of time on our hands, there really was no rush. And yet I couldn't quell the desire to have my mother's ring securely on her finger instead of on a chain around her neck. I wanted to wear her ring as well. She owned me completely, and I considered it a privilege.

I continued to watch her in the mirror until she was satisfied that her graduation cap could be removed only by an act of God, or vampire, whichever happened first. She was used to me staring at her by now. I often caught her gazing at me as well. We had yet to tire of each other. I kept waiting for the day that familiarity would render her less dazzling to me, but it never came. I was quite certain it never would.

"You look beautiful," I told her, turning my head sideways so as to avoid the mortar board and carefully kissing her cheek.

"I look like a dork," she replied with a laugh. "You, of course, will be heart-breakingly handsome in your cap, whenever you decide to put it on."

"You are biased, my dear," I answered evenly. "And this thing can wait until I have to walk out on the field." I waved my graduation hat and tassel at her, then took her arm and led her to the door of our apartment.

We had to be at Mulcahy Stadium before 10 a.m. for rehearsal even though the ceremony didn't start until 3 p.m. UAA graduation was being held outdoors this year while Sullivan Arena underwent some repairs. A lot of the students were happy that the graduation would be out in the open air, though the possibility of sun made Bella and I nervous that we might not be able to attend. We would have a lot of explaining to do to Renee and Phil, and Charlie for that matter, if we suddenly ditched our commencement when they had traveled so far to see us. Luckily, the forecast was for an overcast day, with possible showers later. I hoped that our caps and gowns would keep us sufficiently shadowed in the event of an occasional glimpse of sunshine.

Rehearsal was as dull as I expected, and I was glad that Bella and I didn't have to partake of the wilted catered lunch afterward. The Liberal Arts students were all lumped together, and comprised nearly as big a group as the Nursing College. As I predicted, Bella and I were seated far across the field from each other. Of course, she had become rather skilled at sending me her thoughts when she wished. She never could get inside my mind though, and of that I was glad. She had claimed every other part of me so thoroughly that I had to retain something as my own.

Finally it was time for all 2,036 students to file out to their seats. I was thankful for my superior eyesight as I scanned the crowd in the bleachers, looking for the Cullens. They had all managed to make it here today, since Alice's pre-med classes at the University of Minnesota had ended last week. I singled out their thoughts in the crowd and my eyes followed; they were seated not far from me, and Bella's parents were with them. They would all have a good view of us walking across the stage to receive our diplomas. Carlisle and Esme were beaming proudly; Emmett hooted and hollered while Rosalie waved demurely; Jasper was fiddling with the new zoom lens he'd just bought for his camera; and Alice, curiously, was reciting "The Tempest" to herself. That could only mean one thing: she was intentionally blocking me from discovering something that her precognitive mind had seen. I glowered at her from across the stadium, which she roundly ignored as her brain bombarded me with _"Flout 'em and scout 'em, And scout 'em and flout 'em, Thought is free."_

I shook my head at her and waited for the ceremony to begin. As soon as the guest speakers began droning their inspirational words of encouragement, I tried to zero in on the sound of Bella's thoughts above those of my fellow graduates. It didn't take long for me to see the image in her head, because it was one of my most cherished memories: the first time we made love in the cottage, after she was changed. That entire weekend was burned vividly in my mind, because a perfect euphoria such as that could never be forgotten, nor recreated. The knowledge that I had not lost Bella; that I had saved her and kept her with me always; was the greatest gift that I would ever receive. The fact that she was now my equal physically was icing on the cake. Being able to make love to her without inhibition was beyond my wildest imaginings, and her response propelled me even further into the stratosphere. We were a force of nature together… inseparable, unstoppable.

She had to marry me. She _would_ marry me.

This was my only thought as the names began to be called, and the alphabet worked its way down to the Carters, the Cooks, the Crawfords. The closer the announcer got to "Cullen," the louder Alice's voice became in my head:

"_Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits, and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on; and our little life Is rounded with a sleep."_

I ignored her as my name was called, rising to my feet and striding purposefully toward the stage. I could feel a stirring of excitement in my gut as I marched up the stairs, and thought of my parents, hoping that there was, in fact, a heaven from which they could look down and see me. I was grateful for my adoptive family beaming at me from a few rows back on the bleachers behind the stage as I approached the dean. I accepted the diploma from him and shook his hand gently, observing, as always, his brief look of surprise at the temperature of my skin. We smiled at one another, and I took a step as if to descend the stage. Then I stopped and turned to my left, peering through the sea of faces until I found the one I was looking for.

"Bella," I called loudly, not shouting, not needing to. She would hear. Her smile was huge, excited for me. Her eyebrows raised at the sound of her name. I could tell by her expression that she knew what was coming.

"Will you marry me?"

I grinned broadly and numerous people in the first few rows laughed and cheered. Bella's lips twisted as she tried to fight back her smile, giving me a warning look and shaking her head slightly. I laughed at our little joke as I always did, then exited the stage, finding my seat again.

I waited through the long, ponderous procession of humans whose names fell between "Cullen" and "Swan," beginning to feel in earnest some irritation that her name and mine were not already one and the same, especially when Alice began torturing me with Shakespeare's sonnets in her demented mind. But my heart still swelled with pride when Bella gracefully ascended the stairs, not tripping or even bobbling in her modest heels as she had needlessly feared. She quickly found my face in the crowd and grinned at her victory. I gave her a quick thumbs-up as she made her way to the dean. I glanced at Bella's parents in the audience, and I could see Renee's tears of happiness and the lump in Charlie's throat from yards away. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face when the dean handed my little writer her diploma, but my grin didn't begin to compare to the shocked smile of elation that soon replaced it.

Bella stopped in the exact same spot I had on the stage, turned, found me and looked me deeply in the eyes. She lifted her left hand up, palm facing her, the tops of her fingers facing the crowd. The glint of a my mother's diamond was impossible to miss as she waggled her fingers at me. Her voice rang out clear as a bell over the rows of students seated in front of me.

"Yes."

I stared at her for a stunned second, wondering if I had heard her correctly. Her gaze was completely serious, but her slow smile was infectious.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, more loudly than I had intended. Students all around me hollered and clapped their approval, while Bella began to laugh at the look on my face. My vampire family had matching looks of elation, while Alice sighed "Finally!" with relief. All sense of decorum left me, and I leapt up, tore the mortar board off my head and hurled it up in the air. Students cheered as it hurtled so high in the sky that it vanished. I heard the quick rationalizations in their heads: "Look how a gust of wind just carried it away!"

Bella laughed again, her musical sounds of amusement carrying over all the others to my sensitive ears. Her excited eyes still glued to mine, she yanked the hat off of her own head and did the same, flinging it forcefully upward so that it, too, disappeared. The graduates watched in amazement when the second hat never came back to earth. Suddenly, a euphoric anarchy seemed to overtake them as dozens, then hundreds, of hats joined ours, tossed joyously into the air by those who hadn't even received their diplomas yet, as well as those who had.

Bella raced to the edge of the stage and down the steps, while I pardoned my way past all the people sitting in my way as I hurried to meet her.

"You said 'yes,'" I marveled as I scooped her up in my arms.

"Of course I did," she grinned, throwing her arms around my neck. "I promised you I would."

"And I promise you that I will spend eternity making sure you never regret it."

I kissed her exultantly as I whirled her around and around. The celebrating throng paid us no mind, camouflaged as we were in a sea of humanity, a shower of graduation caps raining down on us from the heavens above.

_So are you to my thoughts as food to life, Or as sweet-season'd showers are to the ground; And for the peace of you I hold such strife As 'twixt a miser and his wealth is found; Now proud as an enjoyer and anon Doubting the filching age will steal his treasure, Now counting best to be with you alone, Then better'd that the world may see my pleasure; Sometime all full with feasting on your sight And by and by clean starved for a look; Possessing or pursuing no delight, Save what is had or must from you be took. Thus do I pine and surfeit day by day, Or gluttoning on all, or all away._

~Sonnet LXXV, William Shakespeare


End file.
